TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

nachos: Jun 27, 2004; Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Trump's spoke person today on Jake Tapper with SE Cupp

http://www.mediaite.com/online/trump-spox-battles-s-e-cupp-on-muslim-ban-proposal-so-what-theyre-muslim/

Who the gently caress is Katrina Pearson and where did she come from?

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:00

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# ? May 27, 2024 02:04

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

at this rate trump calls for using the bomb on syria in about three weeks.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:02

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

This thread is so doom-and-gloom and negative all the time, I know this country has a lot of serious problems but but worry not! There are serious men out there ready take up the challenge.

Jeb! can fix it!

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:04

memy: Oct 15, 2011; by exmarx

oystertoadfish posted:

did i accidentally quote a song or something

im being very unoriginal so im sure i got close

Dr Strangelove ends with the song he's quoting as the world is consumed in nuclear fire

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:05

oystertoadfish: Jun 17, 2003

memy posted:

Dr Strangelove ends with the song he's quoting as the world is consumed in nuclear fire

oh thats rad i saw that movie a long time ago

it was good

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:07

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Dear Jesus can we build a wall on the 49th if trump wins? We'll pay for it even.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:08

GalacticAcid: Apr 8, 2013; NEW YORK VALUES

QV was supposed to make an accelerationist thread since that poo poo is annoying as gently caress and this is a thread for funny things and news about the Primaries. However, he was too lazy.

Speaking of lazy, our most truant senator offered some cutting-edge analysis today that is certain to resonate with the GOP base.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:08

oystertoadfish: Jun 17, 2003

failed presidential candidate scott walker proposed that exact thing, a canadian wall. do yall remember that? i think everybody was just kind of embarrassed for him

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:09

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Quidam Viator posted:

If not after this election, then just one or two more.

It's not like the shitstorm of retarded conservative feelings that Trump et al are stirring up are some loving fad that's just going to... magically go away if a Democrat wins the presidency. No, dumbasses, it's BETTER for there to be an Obama for them to blame, and buck against and just use as an utter loving scapegoat to eat up all the attention while they assrape the country from the county and state level ALLLL the way up through loving Congress. This is what you call a "win-win" for conservatives; all they rely upon is you still believing that effort from within this system is going to change a goddamn thing. Then, every drat election they don't win just gives a few more years for graft and rape, a few more years to rile the base, a few more years to grow more vicious, more angry, more panicked. By all means, keep sincerely voting for those Democrats!

gently caress, my accelerationist heart has grown three loving sizes since I last checked in on SA's election threads. At this point, there are literally no good answers if you are trying to sincerely vote for "good outcomes". Honestly, the BEST thing for the GOP and American conservatives is for a Democrat to win. Then they get either 4 or 8 more years to absolutely assrape America, shut down budgets, keep trying to defund everything from Obamacare to Planned Parenthood, while some sad-sack, isolated Democrat in the loving Oval tries to play defensive ball with legislative minorities all the way down to loving dogcatcher. MEANWHILE, all that happens is that the mere fact that a Democrat WON AGAIN will make The Onion's "Shrieking, White-Hot Sphere of Pure Rage" look like a tempest in a loving teacup. Look at the poo poo they're already comfortable saying: it's loving fascism, and they are getting away with it, and socking away the cash from the legions of assholes who feel like they're FINALLY BEING HEARD. God, what a win for assholes everywhere if EITHER Democrat wins. Of course, there's decades of loving butthurt and insane, incomprehensible rage against Hillary, but holy poo poo! If Bernie, by some freak accident, were to squeak out a win? How the gently caress many of TODAY'S Democrats are going to caucus with him with the wind blowing the way it is? If you are still out there thinking that if only you put a D in the White House, that America can be saved, you are the problem in America, and you are the GOP's best friend.

Yeah, their second choice is for their establishment boy to win. Then we get the strangling in the streets business, but medium-style. Now there is absolutely no barrier whatsoever for a complete turnover of the Supreme Court to the Business Court, and we see the power of a fully-armed and operational establishment GOP. They can use the Teabaggers as they wish, and still run the boards, because their poo poo is conservative ENOUGH: military pork, surveillance, killing net neutrality, destroying unions, the post office, etc, etc...

But the third choice is my FAVORITE, and I don't need any loving Christmas presents because you know what? Mine has already arrived. There's a chance that a true rear end in a top hat wins this thing, and the fact that the CHANCE exists means it will soon be time for every do-gooder, middle-of the road "we have to work within this good and still-viable system" rear end in a top hat to get off their rear end before they are rounded up for the concentration camps along with me. gently caress, if Trump wins, he taps into the profit-driven, absolutely-uncontrolled id of EVERYTHING in this country: from the media, to the military, to business, to the beating heart of red-state America. And it will be horrific. Everything begins to march in lockstep time, and oh yes... America will be "Great" again. But like I said; he doesn't even have to win. He has validated the concept that a fascist, never-served-in-the-military-OR-in-any-government-position rear end in a top hat can stroll up to the presidential trough and BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. It doesn't have to work this time, because there will be a next. And a next, and a next, and a next, and that means the end of the American Republic. And good loving riddance.

There's about a 50/50 chance we come out of the nightmare of that transition in a world completely ruined. The only SURE THING is that if a Democrat keeps taking the White House while Republicans and the loving Koch Brothers and Adelsons of the world run the actual show, that climate change, financial rape, resource depletion, and absolute failure to govern will destroy all of human society. There has never before in history been such a position where doing the same thing has been such a sure ticket to absolute ruin. We are in that position right now: we have the power to simply keep doing what we're doing, and we're guaranteed an extinction event.

So before you call me loving insane like you always do, you tell me what your BEST-CASE-SCENARIO is, and how it solves any of these global-magnitude problems within a timespan that saves all life on Earth. Until then, loving pray for President Trump, and hope that the sheer horror of that man and his actions actually wakes up America and the world to our own loving goddamn idiocy, and sheer, gutless apathy before we render this entire planet sterile.

I've always wanted to say this, and drat it feels good: THE END IS NIGH, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Acceleration 2016.

Is this the same post you've been making since 2013?

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:09

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

please make a thread QV so I don't have to hear your whiny self-absorbed bullshit. tia.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:10

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

GalacticAcid posted:

Hmm trying to adopt the Jeb! strategy, probably not a good idea.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:11

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

GalacticAcid posted:

QV was supposed to make an accelerationist thread since that poo poo is annoying as gently caress and this is a thread for funny things and news about the Primaries. However, he was too lazy.

Speaking of lazy, our most truant senator offered some cutting-edge analysis today that is certain to resonate with the GOP base.

Problem is Trump is quickly becoming less funny and more terrifying. Hitler comparisons aside, it's less than two months to the primaries and this man is still leading the Republican field.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:12

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Nessus posted:

Is this the same post you've been making since 2013?

Ironically, with less frequency over time.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:13

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

oystertoadfish posted:

failed presidential candidate scott walker proposed that exact thing, a canadian wall. do yall remember that? i think everybody was just kind of embarrassed for him

Sorry eh. Let me rephrase. As a Canadian, if you fucks elect trump we will build a wall to seal ourselves off from you

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:13

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

bunnyofdoom posted:

Sorry eh. Let me rephrase. As a Canadian, if you fucks elect trump we will build a wall to seal ourselves off from you

Well at least someone will fulfill the campaign promises of Scott Walker.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:13

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

A cool drat horse posted:

Wow, this thread is loving terrible.

actually its good

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:13

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

GalacticAcid posted:

QV was supposed to make an accelerationist thread since that poo poo is annoying as gently caress and this is a thread for funny things and news about the Primaries. However, he was too lazy.

Speaking of lazy, our most truant senator offered some cutting-edge analysis today that is certain to resonate with the GOP base.

Ha ha ha like any voting republican gives a gently caress about anyone from Saudi Arabia.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:14

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

bunnyofdoom posted:

Sorry eh. Let me rephrase. As a Canadian, if you fucks elect trump we will build a wall to seal ourselves off from you

Take me first! As an avowed liberal working at a business school, I'll be among the first to be rounded up by the Trumpstaffel

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:14

memy: Oct 15, 2011; by exmarx

Watching the CSPAN clip that got linked earlier. One of the first callers on the democrat line literally said he would never vote dem again because he believed they were infiltrated by a fifth column.

The next caller said it was good we kept jews out during ww2 and then spoke positively of internment

Jesus christ

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:14

oystertoadfish: Jun 17, 2003

bunnyofdoom posted:

Sorry eh. Let me rephrase. As a Canadian, if you fucks elect trump we will build a wall to seal ourselves off from you

sounds like a setup for the scene from world war z except with liberals

i never saw this movie. i post with the strength of ignorance

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:17

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

memy posted:

Watching the CSPAN clip that got linked earlier. One of the first callers on the democrat line literally said he would never vote dem again because he believed they were infiltrated by a fifth column.

The next caller said it was good we kept jews out during ww2 and then spoke positively of internment

Jesus christ

C-SPAN callers are Real Americans(TM)

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:17

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

A cool drat horse posted:

Wow, this thread is loving terrible.

Post. Kettle.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:18

thethreeman: May 10, 2008; Fallen Rib

InsanityIsCrazy posted:

so how long will this go on before we have democrats strangling republicans in the streets and vice versa only with guns obvs

not crazy: http://www.vox.com/2015/12/7/9790764/partisan-discrimination

Ezra Klein posted:

% of Republicans who said they'd be upset if their child married a Democrat:

1960: 5%
2008: 27%
2010: 49%

Ezra Klein posted:

% of Democrats who said they'd be upset if their child married a Republican:

1960: 5%
2008: 20%
2010: 33%

quote:

The results showed, as you might expect, that Democrats exhibit an automatic bias against Republicans, and vice versa. What was surprising was that the bias partisans exhibited for their out-group exceeded the bias white participants showed for black people, or that black participants showed for white people.

...
"Political identity is fair game for hatred," he says. "Racial identity is not. Gender identity is not. You cannot express negative sentiments about social groups in this day and age. But political identities are not protected by these constraints. A Republican is someone who chooses to be Republican, so I can say whatever I want about them."

quote:

Winning an argument, at least when you're talking to co-partisans, is less about persuasion than about delegitimization � the savvy move isn't to try to build a better case than the other side, but to make clear that the other side is the other side.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:20

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

MaxxBot posted:

This thread is so doom-and-gloom and negative all the time, I know this country has a lot of serious problems but but worry not! There are serious men out there ready take up the challenge.

Jeb! can fix it!

I want to shake the person who came up with that slogan. Why the gently caress didn't they go with "Jeb will fix it!"? It's like his entire campaign staff are low energy.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:22

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

Ivor Biggun posted:

I want to shake the person who came up with that slogan. Why the gently caress didn't they go with "Jeb will fix it!"? It's like his entire campaign staff are low energy.

Don't want to seem too presumptuous.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:26

GastonEatTheEggs: Nov 7, 2012

MaxxBot posted:

This thread is so doom-and-gloom and negative all the time, I know this country has a lot of serious problems but but worry not! There are serious men out there ready take up the challenge.

Jeb! can fix it!

There's a serious lack of exclamation marks in this photo.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:31

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

Planarch posted:

There's a serious lack of exclamation marks in this photo.

Jeb! can fix that!

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:39

StevePerry: Sep 5, 2003; don't stop believin

Reading about some GOP candidate forum in New Hampshire:

quote:

If you want to know why Jeb! Bush�s candidacy is struggling, last night�s presentation by his surrogate, former US Attorney General Michael Mukasey, provided some clues. Mr. Mukasey was introduced as someone that New York Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer thought would make a good Supreme Court justice. That prompted Mukasey to spend the first part of his speech explaining why Schumer would push Mukasey�s name for the highest court in the land. That vignette might have been interesting if Mukasey was running for president, but he�s not � at least I don�t think he is. When he finally got around to discussing Jeb!, he did so in such a low-key tone that you might have thought he was describing what he had for breakfast.

Oh and...

quote:

Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore was scheduled to speak after Pataki and I was curious to see how he would be received. Alas, in what can only be seen as a fitting metaphor for his presidential campaign, Gilmore never showed up, and no one could say where he was.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 05:42

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

Quidam Viator posted:

If not after this election, then just one or two more.

It's not like the shitstorm of retarded conservative feelings that Trump et al are stirring up are some loving fad that's just going to... magically go away if a Democrat wins the presidency. No, dumbasses, it's BETTER for there to be an Obama for them to blame, and buck against and just use as an utter loving scapegoat to eat up all the attention while they assrape the country from the county and state level ALLLL the way up through loving Congress. This is what you call a "win-win" for conservatives; all they rely upon is you still believing that effort from within this system is going to change a goddamn thing. Then, every drat election they don't win just gives a few more years for graft and rape, a few more years to rile the base, a few more years to grow more vicious, more angry, more panicked. By all means, keep sincerely voting for those Democrats!

gently caress, my accelerationist heart has grown three loving sizes since I last checked in on SA's election threads. At this point, there are literally no good answers if you are trying to sincerely vote for "good outcomes". Honestly, the BEST thing for the GOP and American conservatives is for a Democrat to win. Then they get either 4 or 8 more years to absolutely assrape America, shut down budgets, keep trying to defund everything from Obamacare to Planned Parenthood, while some sad-sack, isolated Democrat in the loving Oval tries to play defensive ball with legislative minorities all the way down to loving dogcatcher. MEANWHILE, all that happens is that the mere fact that a Democrat WON AGAIN will make The Onion's "Shrieking, White-Hot Sphere of Pure Rage" look like a tempest in a loving teacup. Look at the poo poo they're already comfortable saying: it's loving fascism, and they are getting away with it, and socking away the cash from the legions of assholes who feel like they're FINALLY BEING HEARD. God, what a win for assholes everywhere if EITHER Democrat wins. Of course, there's decades of loving butthurt and insane, incomprehensible rage against Hillary, but holy poo poo! If Bernie, by some freak accident, were to squeak out a win? How the gently caress many of TODAY'S Democrats are going to caucus with him with the wind blowing the way it is? If you are still out there thinking that if only you put a D in the White House, that America can be saved, you are the problem in America, and you are the GOP's best friend.

Yeah, their second choice is for their establishment boy to win. Then we get the strangling in the streets business, but medium-style. Now there is absolutely no barrier whatsoever for a complete turnover of the Supreme Court to the Business Court, and we see the power of a fully-armed and operational establishment GOP. They can use the Teabaggers as they wish, and still run the boards, because their poo poo is conservative ENOUGH: military pork, surveillance, killing net neutrality, destroying unions, the post office, etc, etc...

But the third choice is my FAVORITE, and I don't need any loving Christmas presents because you know what? Mine has already arrived. There's a chance that a true rear end in a top hat wins this thing, and the fact that the CHANCE exists means it will soon be time for every do-gooder, middle-of the road "we have to work within this good and still-viable system" rear end in a top hat to get off their rear end before they are rounded up for the concentration camps along with me. gently caress, if Trump wins, he taps into the profit-driven, absolutely-uncontrolled id of EVERYTHING in this country: from the media, to the military, to business, to the beating heart of red-state America. And it will be horrific. Everything begins to march in lockstep time, and oh yes... America will be "Great" again. But like I said; he doesn't even have to win. He has validated the concept that a fascist, never-served-in-the-military-OR-in-any-government-position rear end in a top hat can stroll up to the presidential trough and BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. It doesn't have to work this time, because there will be a next. And a next, and a next, and a next, and that means the end of the American Republic. And good loving riddance.

There's about a 50/50 chance we come out of the nightmare of that transition in a world completely ruined. The only SURE THING is that if a Democrat keeps taking the White House while Republicans and the loving Koch Brothers and Adelsons of the world run the actual show, that climate change, financial rape, resource depletion, and absolute failure to govern will destroy all of human society. There has never before in history been such a position where doing the same thing has been such a sure ticket to absolute ruin. We are in that position right now: we have the power to simply keep doing what we're doing, and we're guaranteed an extinction event.

So before you call me loving insane like you always do, you tell me what your BEST-CASE-SCENARIO is, and how it solves any of these global-magnitude problems within a timespan that saves all life on Earth. Until then, loving pray for President Trump, and hope that the sheer horror of that man and his actions actually wakes up America and the world to our own loving goddamn idiocy, and sheer, gutless apathy before we render this entire planet sterile.

I've always wanted to say this, and drat it feels good: THE END IS NIGH, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Acceleration 2016.

cosigned

my takeaway from everything related to Trump's <s> shocking </s> proposal to outlaw Islam forever is that people have been kidding themselves about how bad things are for a very long time. Things are capital-F hosed in this country.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:19

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

MaxxBot posted:

Whoah, that woman in the front row just right of Jeb looks seriously excited! Her arms are up and everything!

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:22

InsanityIsCrazy: Jan 25, 2003; by Lowtax

thethreeman posted:

not crazy: http://www.vox.com/2015/12/7/9790764/partisan-discrimination

I'm so glad we're progressing hastily to the Hatfield / Mccoy era of partisanship

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:23

radical meme: Apr 17, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Quidam Viator posted:

If not after this election, then just one or two more.

L
O
T
S

O
F

W
O
R
D
S

So before you call me loving insane like you always do,

I've always wanted to say this, and drat it feels good: THE END IS NIGH, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Acceleration 2016.

That's a fine-looking high horse.
What you got in the stable?
We've a lot of starving faithful.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:32

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

memy posted:

Watching the CSPAN clip that got linked earlier. One of the first callers on the democrat line literally said he would never vote dem again because he believed they were infiltrated by a fifth column.

The next caller said it was good we kept jews out during ww2 and then spoke positively of internment

Jesus christ

Were these guys Democrats in 1930 what the gently caress

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:34

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

MaxxBot posted:

Jeb! can fix that!

Trigger warning for people who play metal gear

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:37

radical meme: Apr 17, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

TheTatteredKing posted:

Were these guys Democrats in 1930 what the gently caress

Southern Republicans were all Democrats before Reagan; that was when the final mass exodus occurred.

Edit: I'm watching the news right now and getting sick of this false narrative that Cruz disagreed with Trump. Cruz said the words "I don't agree" and then made a proposal that was almost identical to Trump's.

radical meme fucked around with this message at 06:46 on Dec 9, 2015

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:42

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Sorry eh. Let me rephrase. As a Canadian, if you fucks elect trump we will build a wall to seal ourselves off from you

Make sure you make us pay for it.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:44

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Boy you would think from this thread that America consists of only gop primary voters.

We may be a lot of lovely things, but that is going

too

far.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:47

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Boy you would think from this thread that America consists of only gop primary voters.

We may be a lot of lovely things, but that is going

too

far.

Republicans have beaten the drum so hard, for so long, that they are the only real Americans, that everyone else is just kind of vaguely agreeing. Sure, why not. Only Republican proposals need attention, only Republican visions count, etc. etc. This is probably a root of some of the bafflement over Obama - isn't the President supposed to be a Republican white guy?

It'll change.

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:52

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Here's a decent run-down of Talk Radio today from buzzfeed:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/rosiegray/conservative-talk-radio-hosts-dont-reject-trump-in-wake-of-m#.nnbkD0lXG

quote:

Without directly addressing the content of Trump�s proposal, Limbaugh praised Trump for his political positioning.

�I�m just addressing the politics of this, folks,� Limbaugh said. �Forget substance, comments, whatever. It�s the politics of this. There�s only one guy in all of the presidential campaign occupying the position he occupies. Everybody else sounds the same.�

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:53

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# ? May 27, 2024 02:04

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

The unique, powerful branding of Fascism!

# ? Dec 9, 2015 06:56

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

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