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I really hope this ends up being like "A Tale of Two Springfields" in regards to the vampire children subplot. Everything seems resolved and happy in the end, and the camera pulls back to see a swathe of destruction being cut by a bunch of mutant bloodsucking kids as they slowly close in on the protagonists with their rampage.
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Dec 8, 2015 21:41
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Considering how paused everybody is this season, I'd go for that. That's part of the reason I liked the vamp kids so much to being with. Say, the outbreak that Alex caused has spread as the immature kids continue the infection carelessly, as one infects a sibling, another their parents, yet another their sports team, etc. Soon half of L.A. is out for blood and one of the only places to seek refuge is the good ol' Hotel Cortez, where the Countess ain't so special anymore. Say what you will about previous seasons, but it felt like there was more of a natural progression, even at an extremely plodding place. This season feels more like every character gets an episode to explain who they are, and then they just sit idly by until it's their turn to interact for another ten minutes or give the primary two or three characters an excuse to do something. The characters on AHS have always been pretty expendable, especially in front of Lange and Paulson and mostly Peters. But this time you could have everyone save John and Elizabeth die in a bus crash and nothing would really change (and not just because half the cast is ghosts.)
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Dec 8, 2015 23:45
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Tonight on American Horror Story: "She Wants Revenge" The Countess is reunited with her one true love; Donovan and Ramona take another stab at revenge; a careless decision lands Alex in hot water. If we get an update on that character, is it too much to hope we get an update on the plague of vampire children?
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Dec 9, 2015 22:17
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RugClockVexx posted:...but vamp kid army? Two eps left? Its gonna be exposition city again. We only have two episodes? Is this the first season not going for 13 episodes?
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Dec 9, 2015 22:54
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Magile posted:We only have two episodes? Is this the first season not going for 13 episodes? I was actually just coming to ask you guys this. I checked the wiki page, IMDB, and the New York Times and they all say different things. 2 more eps according to the wiki, 5 more according to IMDB, and 7 (!!) more according to E. A. Hanks of the New York Times
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Dec 9, 2015 22:59
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The iTunes store says 13, and since they ask you to put down rather a lot of money based on that description they'd drat well better have it right.
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Dec 9, 2015 23:02
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I'm guessing the wikis just aren't updated, as they often don't list every episode until it has a confirmed title/date. Then again, if they could stretch this Mother May I of a season to only ten episodes, I wouldn't be surprised. It's not like we really have any more questions to solve, other than if the Countess will get revenged upon (and it'll probably be John trying to fulfill "Thou Shalt Not Have Any Gods Before Me.")
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Dec 10, 2015 00:22
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OmegaBR posted:...the Countess will get revenged upon (and it'll probably be John trying to fulfill "Thou Shalt Not Have Any Gods Before Me.") Yeah, this makes total sense. There are so many kids and offspring this season, I wouldn't be surprised if the Countess gets killed by all of her "children." Either her literal baby, Bart, her vampire baby, Donovan, or her grand kids, the kids of Vamp Elementary. There's always some sort of justice for the villains in AHS. I'm positive the good Detective has to get rubbed out- doomed to haunt the Cortez until its bulldozed or something. The question is, how? Death by Holden, his kid that looks like Rev. Henry Kane from Poltergeist 2? Death by his autism spreading vampire-doctor wife? I'm not quite sure what "justice" is best fitting for this guy.
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Dec 10, 2015 02:51
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I just need more March. Nothing else. March and Liz. Gimme gimme gimme.
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Dec 10, 2015 03:21
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Catching up from last week and just wanna say I called it him being the ten commandment killer.Tenzarin posted:Detective is doing the sEvEn murders, hes crazy, he saw himself in his house when someone broke in.
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Dec 10, 2015 03:36
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His stupid hallucination-dressed-as-March reminds me of Gage at the end of Pet Sematary. Same lack of shock and horror.
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Dec 10, 2015 03:44
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Blazing Ownager posted:Oh come on, as super predictable as this was there's no way I can compare this to Coven. You might forget just how bad it was. I still remember the woman who decides to let a bunch of 20 year olds in suits burn her while screaming incoherent drivel for.. reasons. I still remember Kathy Bates having a season long redemption arc followed by "Hahha just kidding I learned nothing!" I still remember how the witchhunters showed up and were surprised the witches were dangerous. Taking out a main character off-screen in a bathtub. Characters getting strangled by other characters, who not 30 minutes ago, they had total control over. I still remember the loving BEES. That sounds... terrible, but I'm still kinda sad I missed it. meanwhile... it's a Gaga episode, get in.
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Dec 10, 2015 04:03
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no no no no no no no e: American Horror Story, alerting you to the plight of senile vampires.
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Dec 10, 2015 04:34
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RugClockVexx posted:Yeah, this makes total sense. There are so many kids and offspring this season, I wouldn't be surprised if the Countess gets killed by all of her "children." Either her literal baby, Bart, her vampire baby, Donovan, or her grand kids, the kids of Vamp Elementary. Did "Thou Shalt Not Kill" get covered? If not, I'm fairly certain he will meet his own justice, either at his own hands or someone else, who will finish the 10 commandments with a piece from him. Hell, that may even be the whole thing Liz is working toward, since she seems to have a rather large plan for him on top of Cortez wanting someone to take up his task.
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Dec 10, 2015 04:36
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RIP that guy I guess.
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Dec 10, 2015 05:00
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Magile posted:Did "Thou Shalt Not Kill" get covered? If not, I'm fairly certain he will meet his own justice, either at his own hands or someone else, who will finish the 10 commandments with a piece from him. Hell, that may even be the whole thing Liz is working toward, since she seems to have a rather large plan for him on top of Cortez wanting someone to take up his task. Thou Shalt Not Steal - thief who had his hand cut off Remember the Sabbath Day and Keep It Holy - the migrant workers who had their teeth removed Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery - the affair couple with the man's eyes and tongue removed Honor Thy Mother and Father - twins who killed their parents for the inheritance, hearts taken Thou Shalt Not Worship False Idols - the pedophile John killed by bashing him with the Oscar, then took his brain Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness - gossip website staff nailed to their desks without vocal cords Thou Shalt Not Take the Lord's Name in Vain - TV priest choked on coins with his spleen removed Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife - John's partner, whom he killed and then removed his penis So the two remaining are Shalt Not Kill and No Other Gods Before Me. My guess is John kills Countess for the latter and then himself for the former.
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Dec 10, 2015 05:03
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Isn't drinking the blood of random porn "stars" a pretty bad idea? Isn't it kind of ridiculous for Liz to be hanging out at the hotel and even serving as matron of honor like that? Is Will Drake the most unimportant important character in the history of AHS (and how did Jackson get a main credit for this?) And what about that prenup he mentioned in passing? Isn't it also kind of ridiculous to give a direct shot on the broad California sun and show four infected walking around unaffected by it? Most importantly, was it worth it to see the vamp kids again? I'm gonna say no, unfortunately, after how awfully wooden that scene was. And we had yet another flashback, which wasn't bad, but pretty pointless and only served to fill time. Felt like Donovan's betrayal of Ramona would have had a lot more punch without all the gratuitous sex at the start. Of course he was back in love with her. Why they keep telegraphing all of these things this season, I don't know. Iris' "Aw poo poo" is about how I felt about this episode.
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Dec 10, 2015 05:44
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Even if she was warning me about my imminent murder, I just couldn't take Ms. Evers seriously with that voice. It's impossible.
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Dec 10, 2015 05:56
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Goddammit with the pasties. Stars this time after seeing Valentino. So, at least appropriate.
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Dec 10, 2015 06:12
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OmegaBR posted:Isn't drinking the blood of random porn "stars" a pretty bad idea? Isn't it kind of ridiculous for Liz to be hanging out at the hotel and even serving as matron of honor like that? Is Will Drake the most unimportant important character in the history of AHS (and how did Jackson get a main credit for this?) And what about that prenup he mentioned in passing? Isn't it also kind of ridiculous to give a direct shot on the broad California sun and show four infected walking around unaffected by it? The whole sun scenario doesn't seem to be detrimental. They stated early on it zaps vitality if prolonged exposure happens, but if we're taking that to the strictest term, then it just means they lose energy or strength. The kids were... dumb. That is definitely a plot that is going nowhere, or forces Doctor-Vampire to go full murder-mode to fix the problems she created and, most likely, herself. I actually enjoyed the flashback, oddly enough, because I was pretty curious why she would wait 20 - 30 years before suddenly seeking out revenge. Donovan's scenario was just... more blatant than the Commandments Murderer reveal, as far as I'm concerned. They set up the situation, and then continued to set it up just in case someone didn't realize it was going to happen. Now, of course, we have the inevitable stuff to wrap up in four episodes: 1) Kill the Countess (this can involve Liz, Iris, Donovan, Doctor-Vampire, Ramona, John -- pretty much anyone still alive, really) 2) Kill John(this can involve Sally, March and John himself) 3) Children of the Corn (this can involve Iris and Doctor-Vampire, but who knows! They may just ignore it all together!) 4) Children of the Doctor (I'm going to just assume this goes nowhere, but really, only Doctor-Vampire knows this is happening to begin with) 5) Sex Drill-Dick Demon (episode one and episode, like... seven? Maybe eight? And all we know is it's linked to Sally) 6) Hotel Cortez itself (if it's like The House and The Asylum, it's either going somewhere or nowhere in the end) I'm sure I'm missing some plots that have been all over the place, but I'm guessing #1, #2 and #6 are the only ones that will actually get covered, with the other three just being ignored or being pigeon-holed into a epilogue involving #6 as well. Who knows though! I sure don't and I don't think the writers do either! edit: Well, we actually do get some clarity on what may be resolved with the next episode's description. Also added some spoiler text to the more obvious crap I spoke about. Alex enlists John's help in containing an outbreak; Donovan learns The Countess' true intentions; Liz and Iris plan to leave the hotel for good. Magile fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 06:46
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Well, not a bad episode overall, with the little vampire brats being the worst of it, along with Alex. The sex scenes were terrible. Gaga in her black star pasties was just awful. Just keep on a bra for god's sake, one scene with pasties was enough because it was some orgy. With this one it just seemed really stupid. But there was also a lot to like: John not being in the episode was a blessing. Whoever mentioned thou shalt not kill and having John either off himself or die is probably right since it just seems very obvious. Loved Iris on her Dirty Harriet porn rampage talking about Deep Throat and going "Douchebag...!" as soon as the door opened. Loved Ramona's backstory with the story of her and her parents, the part with her dad was pretty goddamn sad. Also nice to see the past link between March and Evers: "My father always told me to marry a homely women..." March reminded me so much of Gomez Addams when he was in that black lace nursery showing Drake Bartholomew :  Loved Liz and her "Flowerszz." I love the way she said it. And I think it's going to be Liz that gets the ultimate revenge since she's literally the only Cortez resident that has done zero killing and has been the most loyal to countess. I don't think that's incidental, I think its deliberate. I could even see her cutting Valentino's throat in front of her especially after seeing the resemblance to Tristan. That scene of Cuntess handing her flowers and telling her she finds her one true love was just brutal and that scene alone feels like it could be the straw that broke the camel's back. Also, I thought I read somewhere that Tristan was going to make a reappearance , so I'm curious to see if/how that goes down. MadSparkle fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 19:58
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MadSparkle posted:
I figured that since Tristan died in the hotel that he'd show up as a ghost at some point since that being a thing has already been established again this season.
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Dec 10, 2015 20:38
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Maybe Countess tried to nurse Bartholomew and got her nipples bit off for her trouble. Hence the pasties. That sort of happened with Nora in Murderhouse.
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Dec 10, 2015 21:09
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The march subplot is the only thing I care about anymore. The countess will redeem herself at one point because Ryan Murphy. This episode was really meh. Last weeks was a lot better.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:20
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Stabitha posted:I figured that since Tristan died in the hotel that he'd show up as a ghost at some point since that being a thing has already been established again this season. Yeah, but I'm not sure, since we've not seen the vampire to ghost thing. I just want Liz to be happy and frolicking with Tristan  I also read that Sarah Paulson is going to be making an appearance as Billie Dean Howard as well which I'm really looking forward to.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:26
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coronatae posted:Maybe Countess tried to nurse Bartholomew and got her nipples bit off for her trouble. Hence the pasties. Good point. I guess Bartholomew is supposed to be Valentino's and Countess's vampire baby?
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Dec 10, 2015 22:29
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MadSparkle posted:Yeah, but I'm not sure, since we've not seen the vampire to ghost thing. I just want Liz to be happy and frolicking with Tristan Concerning vamps turning into ghosts (from the promo for the next episode) it shows Will Drake talking to the Countess about his son and unless it's a flashback, which it certainly could be, Will Drake must be a ghost if he's showing up again after being eaten/drained by Romona in this week's episode. Of course it's also possible that Ramona didn't kill him and only drained enough blood to feed herself but not kill him. But it was the promo that made me think that it was possible for vampires to come back as ghosts. Stabitha fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Dec 11, 2015 |
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Dec 11, 2015 00:09
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Stabitha posted:Concerning vamps turning into ghosts the promo for the next episode shows Will Drake talking to the Countess about his son and unless it's a flashback, which it certainly could be, Will Drake must be a ghost if he's showing up again after being eaten/drained by Romona in this week's episode. Of course it's also possible that Ramona didn't kill him and only drained enough blood to feed herself but not kill him. But it was the promo that made me think that it was possible for vampires to come back as ghosts. OK, I watched the trailer. Hmmm, not sure but I guess we'll find out. On another note, how the hell did lady gaga manage to get a golden globe nomination ? even peters didn't and he has been phenomenal this season. same with o'hare. MadSparkle fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Dec 11, 2015 |
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Dec 11, 2015 00:32
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MadSparkle posted:OK, I watched the trailer. Hmmm, not sure but I guess we'll find out. It's pretty well accepted that Golden Globes can be bought and paid for.
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Dec 11, 2015 03:59
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spoon0042 posted:RIP that guy I guess. This should have been the season subtitle.
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Dec 11, 2015 05:00
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American Horror Story: RIP Brunette Fuckboy # 387
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Dec 11, 2015 05:53
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Got to catch up on this episode. Three main thoughts: 1: Poor Ms. Evers, but at least she got to show up and get some good shots in. Actually, same thing with Liz. They both got their sass on this episode and I can't fault them for that, I would be mad sassy if I got stuck in this whole rigmarole like them and nothing was going my way. 2: Those are some wild swings of characterization and plotting for pretty much everyone else, especially Donovan. There's a shitload of shook-up plotting going on but not in a good way, in an annoying "let's add drama!" way. 3: Those vampire children need a good punch in the face, especially because they seem to have a mutated strain what with the measles. Pretty much the only thing I'm looking forward to this season right now (besides more March ham) is Alex asking Killer Cop 2015 for help and seeing if he ends up drop-kicking one of those drat vampire children. Also I echo the notion of "RIP that guy". I possibly expected Ramona to turn him but no he's just...dead now and maybe we'll see if anyone comes looking for him.
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Dec 11, 2015 22:52
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MadSparkle posted:OK, I watched the trailer. Hmmm, not sure but I guess we'll find out. She is getting a lot of positive reviews from critics, and everyone on the cast seems to think she is nailing it, so probably that.
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Dec 11, 2015 22:52
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So we've only got a few plots left to be wrapped up for the final few episodes: - Vampire kids in the suburbs - Countess + her oldtime lovers - Revenge plot against the Countess - Detective Killer - Weird white rape ghost that feeds on ghosts? - Liz Taylor being awesome I do expect Iris to kill her lovely son before the season ends. Oh, and I want a Constance + antichrist son S1 cameo.
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Dec 12, 2015 11:33
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Hostile V posted:3: Those vampire children need a good punch in the face, especially because they seem to have a mutated strain what with the measles. Pretty much the only thing I'm looking forward to this season right now (besides more March ham) is Alex asking Killer Cop 2015 for help and seeing if he ends up drop-kicking one of those drat vampire children. I legitimately hope this season ends with killer cop mowing down vampire children. Would be the best AHS finale period.
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Dec 12, 2015 15:21
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I am also rooting for a Constance + antichrist cameo and I just realized, what if Liz Taylor is still working the front desk and Constance is just totally scandalized  Of course, I still hope Liz Taylor runs off into the sunset and gets to have her life somewhere else. She's definitely my favorite character this season.
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Dec 12, 2015 15:39
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I imagine the new vampire brats going to the Cortez and to that Tetris 80s room and being like wtf is this, wheres' the Xbox, where's WoW (or whatever the hell is being played these days. I have no idea). This place SUCKS. And then Iris kills all of them. Or maybe they do seriously end up at the Cortez and become the 'donors' to the countess and when their blood is presented in that crystal decanter she dies because it's got measles in it. I do think the Cuntess will definitely die. I think Donovan will almost certainly die. Romona - probably. Her plans just don't seem to work out. I do think she might weaken countess in some way though before dying. Johnny cop probably dies, he has to. I hope Alex dies. She probably will and so will Holden. Who probably won't die because I really don't want them to: Iris Liz If they don't run off into the sunset, then at the very least they should take over the hotel and both be countesses. And then they can meet March for dinner every week instead of every month and that would be the new spinoff series, called : My Dinner With March. MadSparkle fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Dec 12, 2015 |
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Dec 12, 2015 16:53
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I would watch the poo poo out of that. Maybe Detective Boring will kill the vampire brat pack for his Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder
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Dec 12, 2015 18:38
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I hope that does happen. So with the whole spots on the face with the vamp girl that wasn't feeding, is that the measles showing? I stupidly didn't pay too much attention to it initially and thought that it's just something they all get when they don't feed, but it's looking like it maybe really is the measles and the blood infection is....infected.
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Dec 12, 2015 20:44
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The idea is that feeding is the only thing keeping their measles in check. If they stop drinking blood, they sicken and will presumably die soon after.
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Dec 12, 2015 20:58
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