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Soylent Pudding posted:Also because health and sex education in my American Deep South public schools taught us things like only men enjoy sex, condoms don't prevent STIs, it's impossible for women to take advantage of men, abstinance until marriage is the only healthy choice, and touching yourself makes Baby Jesus cry. Yeah, I'm from hippie California and even we had a bunch of sex-negative messages sprinkled in, but at least they promoted condom use. I can only imagine what a poo poo-show the red states have for sex-ed.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:21
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Soylent Pudding posted:Also because health and sex education in my American Deep South public schools taught us things like only men enjoy sex, condoms don't prevent STIs, it's impossible for women to take advantage of men, abstinance until marriage is the only healthy choice, and touching yourself makes Baby Jesus cry. Jesus cries when you masturbate because the last time he tried rubbing one out he slipped and it went through the hole in his palm.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:48
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PRADA SLUT posted:What else could it be? Like physiologically, there's nothing else there to mix it up with. Is it supposed to be some sort of mystery sex fluid that just materializes in some women with a launch vector from the urethra? Bartholin's glands secretions is the usual non-pee hypothesis, and there may be some of that happening. In the pee.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:01
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LingcodKilla posted:I too enjoy loving a girl so good she not only starts speaking in tongues but also looses control of her bladder.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:01
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If it is a goal there are much easier ways of doing it. Like, just date grannies.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:06
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bowmore posted:but why shouldn't it be a goal? Hey man if that's your (colostomy) bag...
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Dec 11, 2015 01:28
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OwlFancier posted:If it is a goal there are much easier ways of doing it. News at 11, some people think a thing is hot so they do it.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:37
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Just hung out with a friend who's moving away and she handed me a bag Got home and turns out she gave me her sex toy collection lmao I'm pretty stoked because poo poo's expensive and it appears we have similar tastes, I just gotta deep clean everything...
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Dec 12, 2015 10:26
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You must be REALLY good friends.
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Dec 12, 2015 10:39
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KillHour posted:You must be REALLY good friends. I lusted after her for a while and we almost had a threesome at one point. Didn't quite pan out but I got my threesome needs elsewhere lol And yeah we're pretty good buds
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Dec 12, 2015 11:09
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Just give them a good wash, all good! (or don't, you disgusting kink monster)
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Dec 12, 2015 13:24
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halenaw posted:I lusted after her for a while and we almost had a threesome at one point. Didn't quite pan out but I got my threesome needs elsewhere lol You could not wash them and it would be like the threesome you never had.
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Dec 12, 2015 17:08
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PRADA SLUT posted:You could not wash them and it would be like the threesome you never had. !!! what a notion
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Dec 12, 2015 18:42
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Faerunner posted:Many men also think that pee comes out of the vagina, and don't know what/where the clit is. It's pretty terrifying asking the average American male about basic female anatomy. On behalf of American males, I would like to say that at no point talking to any male about sex have any of them thought that pee comes out of the vagina, or not known what and where a clitoris was. Maybe the people you are thinking of are uneducated ten-year-olds? We had fully reasonable and non-judgemental sex education too, but I get the feeling that it was a little more rare in the area.(I don't live in the Deep South, but so far south it's no longer Deep; Florida, eleven miles from the Georgia line.)
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Dec 13, 2015 07:10
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John Lee posted:On behalf of American males, I would like to say that at no point talking to any male about sex have any of them thought that pee comes out of the vagina, or not known what and where a clitoris was. Maybe the people you are thinking of are uneducated ten-year-olds? We had fully reasonable and non-judgemental sex education too, but I get the feeling that it was a little more rare in the area.(I don't live in the Deep South, but so far south it's no longer Deep; Florida, eleven miles from the Georgia line.) Maybe you didn't go to public schools or something? I dunno. I live in the south and sex ed was worthless for anything other than identifying gentials with STDs.
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Dec 13, 2015 21:02
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Eh. lovely sexual education is a universal thing. I am ashamed of how long it took me to figure out female anatomy. Anyway. I do have a question to anyone else with experience with this. This girl I met that wanted ropeplay/bondage really really likes the whole pain/pleasure thing. To the point where i'm too uncomfortable to give her what she's asking for. I know I should talk to her, and I did. Told her straight out that I didn't want to hurt her and she told me I wasn't and she wanted me to be rougher with her. I mean I could probably overcome my discomfort, but should I? Its too bad I don't have anyone to talk to irl about this and have to turn to the internets for advice.
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Dec 13, 2015 21:27
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Affi posted:Eh. lovely sexual education is a universal thing. I am ashamed of how long it took me to figure out female anatomy. If you're not into something, you shouldn't feel pressured into doing it. If it's something you're curious about, but you just have worries about hurting her too much, then continue with the discussions and work out safe words and hard limits and all that good stuff. There's nothing wrong with having preferences, and although on the internet the interest in BDSM is over-represented (I find), that doesn't mean it's for everyone. Sex is meant to be fun, not a series of challenges to overcome (unless, of course, that's your thing!)
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Dec 13, 2015 21:54
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Affi posted:Eh. lovely sexual education is a universal thing. I am ashamed of how long it took me to figure out female anatomy. If you're prepared to experiment with it then set up safe words and discuss what she actually means by rougher then try some things out, checking in with her on what she likes/dislikes/wants more of. You'll need to learn how much force she likes and get comfortable giving it, and that will only come with practice. Don't go harder than you're comfortable with, get yourself used to it too. Communication is the key throughout this not just before/after.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:06
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John Lee posted:On behalf of American males, I would like to say that at no point talking to any male about sex have any of them thought that pee comes out of the vagina, or not known what and where a clitoris was. Maybe the people you are thinking of are uneducated ten-year-olds? We had fully reasonable and non-judgemental sex education too, but I get the feeling that it was a little more rare in the area.(I don't live in the Deep South, but so far south it's no longer Deep; Florida, eleven miles from the Georgia line.)
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Dec 13, 2015 22:53
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Affi posted:Anyway. I do have a question to anyone else with experience with this. This girl I met that wanted ropeplay/bondage really really likes the whole pain/pleasure thing. To the point where i'm too uncomfortable to give her what she's asking for. I know I should talk to her, and I did. Told her straight out that I didn't want to hurt her and she told me I wasn't and she wanted me to be rougher with her. I mean I could probably overcome my discomfort, but should I? The thing a lot of people forget about kink is that the big letter has the ability to negotiate limits and can use a safeword just as much as the little letter. If this were told the other way around, the bottom would be concerned that their top wants to hit them harder but they're not comfortable with it. And I'm guessing the reaction would be more drastic than the responses you've gotten to your post since it basically means the top could be on the edge of physically abusing the bottom while the bottom feels obligated because they want to make their partner happy. That said if your only concern is unintentionally hurting your partner, they seem to have assured you that you haven't and asked for more. If your real concern is you don't enjoy doing it or it makes you uncomfortable in a bad way, that's what you should be telling them.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:57
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As posters above have said, communication is super important and you have the right to have your own limits respected. A followup question, do you trust her to safeword if in the moment things get too intense for her?
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Dec 13, 2015 22:57
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Affi posted:Anyway. I do have a question to anyone else with experience with this. This girl I met that wanted ropeplay/bondage really really likes the whole pain/pleasure thing. To the point where i'm too uncomfortable to give her what she's asking for. I know I should talk to her, and I did. Told her straight out that I didn't want to hurt her and she told me I wasn't and she wanted me to be rougher with her. I mean I could probably overcome my discomfort, but should I? So, I had this problem when I was getting into BDSM. What helped me the most was to not use the word "hurt", but use two words, "pain" and "harm". In everyday life, we roll these together, but you have to remember causing pain is not the same thing as causing damage or injury. It will take some time getting used to, you don't want to try too much too fast, but if you start simple and build from that, well, there's not really another way but that. You should also try it on yourself first if possible, like if you have a paddle, try whacking your thigh with it and get a feel for how much power is how much pain. And remember, you can also use a safeword to pause a scene if you become concerned and want to check in that you're not going too hard. That helped me a lot too, just getting that affirmation that you're not causing any harm to her. And let her know she may need to be patient at times, as you figure things out and go on your own erotic journey of discovery. As to the question of should you, rather than how, I don't think you can learn to like BDSM without at least a seed or spark there, beyond light stuff like blindfolds and fuzzy cuffs. Sex needs to be enjoyable for you both, because even if you CAN get used to it, if it's never fun for you, it'll become a chore for you and dull for her, instead of a mutually exciting and fulfilling experience. I'm a little unsure from your post if you want to try but have reservations, or you flat out don't enjoy causing pain to someone who gets off on it. And that's fine, nothing is for everyone, but I'd do some introspection if you're not sure, and if you really don't want to do this, tell her straight up you don't want to, and she can do what she wants with that information. No one should feel pressured to do something in bed, even if it means things might not work out. Just being 100. And as a practical aside, everyone goes for rope, but it's probably the hardest and most technical bondage material, and good bondage rope is either expensive or a pain in the rear end to make. I'd start with leather and chains, velcro straps, or bondage tape, they're much easier to use and get going with. EDIT: about the pee coming from the vagina thing, maybe these guys think "vagina" means the whole general package, and not the fairly specific part that it is? I want to believe that, at least. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Dec 13, 2015 |
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Dec 13, 2015 23:00
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hoobajoo posted:
Oh absolutely. Like, we're not really taught the difference between vagina, labia, clitoris, vulva, etc. All of these are words that unless you try to learn, you just sort of lump them together under the heading of 'vagina' and move on with your day. That whole zone is all vagina unless you're a gynecologist.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:40
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Travis343 posted:Oh absolutely. Like, we're not really taught the difference between vagina, labia, clitoris, vulva, etc. All of these are words that unless you try to learn, you just sort of lump them together under the heading of 'vagina' and move on with your day. That whole zone is all vagina unless you're a gynecologist. That's much better then; from the way people were talking, it seemed like an actual anatomy error, rather than a vocabulary error.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:55
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hoobajoo posted:That's much better then; from the way people were talking, it seemed like an actual anatomy error, rather than a vocabulary error. I'm certain it's an anatomy error in a number of cases.
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Dec 14, 2015 00:09
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Travis343 posted:Oh absolutely. Like, we're not really taught the difference between vagina, labia, clitoris, vulva, etc. All of these are words that unless you try to learn, you just sort of lump them together under the heading of 'vagina' and move on with your day. That whole zone is all vagina unless you're a gynecologist. Funny thing is, "vulva" is actually the appropriate word to lump all of those together, but typically "vagina" gets used instead.
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Dec 14, 2015 00:12
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hoobajoo posted:That's much better then; from the way people were talking, it seemed like an actual anatomy error, rather than a vocabulary error. In my experience it's a little of both. Guys don't know (haven't learned or haven't gone out of their way to find out) specific terms for various bits of female anatomy so it's all "vagina", AND they are unfamiliar with the location and appearance of the female urethra, AND/OR they assume that women, like men, have only one opening which doubles for sexual and excretory purposes. I have had guys straight-up ask me how many holes women have "down there". I'd end the derail by asking a question but I don't have any right now. My sex life is pretty good. Faerunner fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Dec 14, 2015 |
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Dec 14, 2015 00:25
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hoobajoo posted:So, I had this problem when I was getting into BDSM. What helped me the most was to not use the word "hurt", but use two words, "pain" and "harm". In everyday life, we roll these together, but you have to remember causing pain is not the same thing as causing damage or injury. It will take some time getting used to, you don't want to try too much too fast, but if you start simple and build from that, well, there's not really another way but that. You should also try it on yourself first if possible, like if you have a paddle, try whacking your thigh with it and get a feel for how much power is how much pain. And remember, you can also use a safeword to pause a scene if you become concerned and want to check in that you're not going too hard. That helped me a lot too, just getting that affirmation that you're not causing any harm to her. And let her know she may need to be patient at times, as you figure things out and go on your own erotic journey of discovery. Thanks this is all helpful! I honestly don't know if I like it or if I just really like how much she likes it? But I'll probably move along and figure it out with her. And yea communication is key. Also I found rope to be the most fun to work with. I mean it's easy if you're just tying hands behind backs or lmbs to object.
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Dec 14, 2015 01:24
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Rope is technical because of the capability to do lasting damage to your partner's body if done wrong. Be careful with rope.
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Dec 14, 2015 02:56
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WRT guys being bad at female anatomy, guys are terrible at anything anatomy related in general in my experience. The few times men seem to know parts is when it's related to body building (your average bro may, in fact, know a lot more about groups of muscles than your average woman), something referenced in porn, or something that can develop a tumor. How many men know about the terms (let alone what they are) glans, epididymis, Cowper's gland, vas deferens, etc.? Now add in how complex female reproductive anatomy is in comparison to male on top of the complexities of female sexuality in the first place and it's a wonder women ever had orgasms before the Internet was created. I just treated the subject like I'm learning to play an instrument and it's worked out fine I think. It's not like girls give quizzes on whether she's pointing at her labia majora or labia minora before letting men go down on them. Lastly, women can be really, really ignorant about their own anatomy. I heard a story at a hospital where a woman going into surgery was being asked what her procedure is supposed to be for treating (patient verbal confirmation one last time and such in cases of severe mix-ups) and she replied back "I have fireballs in my universe" when her problem was actually that she had fibroids in her uterus.
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Dec 14, 2015 03:19
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It's all cooter if it's above the pooter.
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Dec 14, 2015 03:26
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Affi posted:Thanks this is all helpful! Hey, as long as there's something you like about it, I think it can work. Glad it's helping. Are you using knots specifically for bondage, like column ties? It's dangerous to tie a body otherwise, it can cause nerve damage, or worse, interrupt blood flow.
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Dec 14, 2015 04:09
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hoobajoo posted:Hey, as long as there's something you like about it, I think it can work. Glad it's helping. Can't remember what they were called the ones I used. But it's the kind that won't tighten on itself. So should be safe knots.
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Dec 14, 2015 11:22
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Pee does come out of the vagina, as long as someone put it there first.
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Dec 14, 2015 13:27
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necrobobsledder posted:WRT guys being bad at female anatomy, guys are terrible at anything anatomy related in general in my experience. The few times men seem to know parts is when it's related to body building (your average bro may, in fact, know a lot more about groups of muscles than your average woman), something referenced in porn, or something that can develop a tumor. Also, many people are really, really bad at talking to their partners—and their doctors, too—about their bodies. I had a girlfriend who would go bright pink and practically shut down at the mention of a clitoris—let alone hers—and when you get that kind of thing, it becomes impossible to educate your partner on what you like and dislike. Conversely, my current partner is completely upfront about what she likes, knows her own anatomy, and the sex is great as a result. Communication is, as always, key, but some people are functionally incapable of it. Because Reasons, probably. 
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Dec 14, 2015 14:09
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Hyperlynx posted:Funny thing is, "vulva" is actually the appropriate word to lump all of those together, but typically "vagina" gets used instead. Well, the vulva doesn't include the vagina. The vulva is everything on the outside and the vagina is the inside part. necrobobsledder posted:Lastly, women can be really, really ignorant about their own anatomy. I heard a story at a hospital where a woman going into surgery was being asked what her procedure is supposed to be for treating (patient verbal confirmation one last time and such in cases of severe mix-ups) and she replied back "I have fireballs in my universe" when her problem was actually that she had fibroids in her uterus. Yup, this is a sad side effect of living in a culture where we just don't talk about women's bodies. I work in obstetrics and I have so many patients who know essentially nothing about their bodies. Also I get to hear a lot of euphemisms in the office; "I have a weird feeling in my down-there" is a pretty common complaint. Dogfish fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Dec 14, 2015 |
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Dec 14, 2015 18:58
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Affi posted:Can't remember what they were called the ones I used. But it's the kind that won't tighten on itself. So should be safe knots. Knots that don't self tighten can still be dangerous because some weight will get put on them, and it doesn't take much pressure if it's over a small area to be a problem. I'll put a link to some free rope tutorials; these knots aren't hard to learn, and this way you can play as safe as possible. Plus they look all proper bondage-y. http://www.twistedmonk.com/pages/how-to-videos
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Dec 14, 2015 20:12
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Those are the ones I used.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:14
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Affi posted:Those are the ones I used. Awesome, great to hear it. Sorry if I was being pushy, but there's a lot of people end up going to the ER because of preventable loving-related injuries. Should've known from your avatar that you're a man of science and would put the research in.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:29
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hoobajoo posted:Awesome, great to hear it. Sorry if I was being pushy, but there's a lot of people end up going to the ER because of preventable loving-related injuries. Should've known from your avatar that you're a man of science and would put the research in. You weren't, I was just phone posting. This is serious stuff and I'd never forgive myself if I caused any harm. I also don't know anyone else into this soooo this is good. We're talking about it now actually.
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Dec 14, 2015 21:33
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