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Lost all my money last round. 
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Dec 12, 2015 09:44
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I lost everything when I bet against the FARTSTORM. Looking at the match bets now though, 
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Dec 12, 2015 11:43
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I have faith that one of these rounds my team will win and I'll be rich and smart and everyone will like me.
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Dec 12, 2015 12:45
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Slam Whale Willy isn't a star, but with 3 kills, at least he hasn't let the team down. Putting all the dwarf bucks on our team to pull the upset out of the bag in the next round!
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Dec 12, 2015 13:19
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:I lost everything when I bet against the FARTSTORM. Looking at the match bets now though, You do know everyone gets 100 more dorfbux per round, right? You have 200 bux waiting for you to bet! Emmideer fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Dec 12, 2015 |
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Dec 12, 2015 17:15
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 Round 6, Fight 1  Lightly Whipped is on the left side of the arena. Ghost-trees (Ghostwoods) is a male molemarian. He wields a silver whip and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Trump's Viscous Discharge (goatface) is a female minotaur. She is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Grimmik (FillInTheBlank) is a male gremlin. He wields an iron whip and a wooden buckler and wears a steel helm. Jupis Tooki McGannel (GreyPowerVan) is a male strangler. He wields a silver whip and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, and copper greaves. This Bites is on the right side of the arena. Knife Toseeu (synthorange) is a female strangler. She wields a copper large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears a bronze cap. Sun Tzulander the Philomodel (Keru) is a male elf. He is empty handed and wears a steel cap, a copper mail shirt, a silver breast plate, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Roland Gorchnik (Maarak) is a male human. He wields a copper whip and a copper scourge and wears an iron cap, leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Eyeteeth IV (Revenant Threshold) is a male werewolf. He wields a wooden buckler and a silver buckler and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. This Bites is a 3.76 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3239.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 861.00 dwarfbucks for Lightly Whipped. For some inexplicable reason, hardly a soul is willing to go all in on Lightly Whipped. Well, this is their chance to prove the doubters wrong.  Sun is the fastest fighter. He punches his opposite number, the equally unarmed minotaur Trump, in the neck, failing to do any real damage. Roland draws first real blood, tearing at Trump's arm. Then Knife stabs Trump in her Achilles' heel, and she instantly flops over and gives up. Welp. Sun is still looking for a boxing partner. He punches Grimmik in the thigh, gesturing for the scrappy little guy to come at him. Grimmik responds with a lash across the same thigh. Get a real weapon, elf. Like an iron whip. Knife is sidetracked from the kill by Ghost-trees. The strangler sizes up the molemarian, and decides he can take him. A scratch breaks the mole's nail, then Knife slams bodily into Ghost-trees and stuns himself. Roland is taking up Knife's slack as far beating Trump to death. A spine sever and a lung bruise are pretty good results for a copper whip. Hm... why is whipping working well for him?  Ghost-trees slams Knife back, away from Trump. Ghost-trees and Grimmik beat him savagely, leaving him with internal organ damage and a shattered leg. This is why you shouldn't stun yourself. Roland tries to distract the mole, but Ghost-trees just smashes Knife's other leg. Sun punches the shield out of Grimmik's hand, but the gremlin bites Knife. Undaunted, Sun keeps grabbing at Grimmik until he gets a good grip, and executes a judo throw on Grimmik. He punches Grimmik once before the gremlin hits the floor, then once more after he does. That's the gremlin's whip gone. Ghost-trees laughs off all the tissue damage Roland can dish out, though, and breaks a third limb on Knife, who's knocked out. You know... I'm not sure who else can take down Ghost-trees; Knife had the only sharp weapon. Oh, and I haven't forgotten Eyeteeth in all this, but so far all the werewolf is doing is banging his shield on Trump's body without managing anything akin to a killing blow. Another throw on Grimmik. While he's in the air, Sun crushes his entire hand.  He's unconscious before he lands. Sun has no time to celebrate, though, as Jupis sneaks up and breaks his arm. Then Grimmik hits and what's left of his lower body sort of... smears.  Grimmik is still sliding along the ground. His arm takes the brunt of the first bounce. The other arm, the next bounce. He finally is stopped when he runs into the arena wall. Holy poo poo, Sun.  Holy poo poo. Ghost-trees tries tackling Sun, but the wiry elf half holds him off, and both fall to the ground. Jupis is also trying for him, and bone snaps with his whip-crack; the two are trying to double-team him before either Roland can seriously contribute or Eyeteeth actually kills Trump and, you know, does something. Then Sun executes a bizarre lock on Ghost-trees' arm using his leg. He can't throw from there, but he can kick. Bone trembles, but doesn't break. Then Roland's whip slaps Ghost-trees's hand. For a moment, it looks like nothing... then the silver whip falls. Painful or no, the nerves and tendons no longer can let him hold on. Then the first kill. Jupis is the goal-focused one here; he whipped Knife to death. Lightly Whipped is winning. Ghost-trees has been savagely battered, but that doesn't matter. He can still fight, and no elf can break his body. A scourge, though... Roland removes a foot. Perhaps he'll bleed to death. Or perhaps This Bites will be slowly beaten down. Jupis continues beating on Sun. The elf won't be discouraged from his target, though; he's still got Ghost-trees locked up, and he refuses to back down from this challenge, impossible though it may be.  Trump and Eyeteeth are right there, but they might as well be in Zimbabwe for all anyone else matters. Anyway, Sun punches Ghost-trees in the head, somehow double-stunning the mole. Then, inevitably, Jupis bashes him in the head, and it's too much. Sun falls unconscious. That leaves only Roland. Roland, however, gamely sinks his teeth into Ghost-trees's leg, then slices another leg off with his scourge. Humans don't have martial trances, but he's in the next closest state, red rage covering his face. Or possibly that's mole blood. Jupis is still the one focused on winning, and he's killed Sun now. Lightly Whipped is up two to zero. Even Grimmik is somehow clinging to life, and looks to have stopped bleeding. There's nothing left there with any martial potential; he's just simply breathing.  Ghost-trees is only marginally better. Really, This Bites have two fighters with combat ability left while Lightly Whipped have only the one. But... Lightly Whipped will not die. Not like this. Then Jupis takes a swing at Eyeteeth. Startled, the werewolf blocks the shot, finally recalling the world outside of bruising the helpless minotaur, and he returns the attack. Could this be the break that This Bites needs? Wait, what? Roland lashes Ghost-trees in the head one more time, knocking him unconscious. I didn't know that could happen; I've never seen the game give this combat line. This Bites take the chance to beat on Ghost-trees, but Jupis advances to meet them, as well. He starts a fight with Roland. Never one to contribute when there's someone helpless to bruise gently instead, Eyeteeth doesn't help and instead bangs up Ghost-trees a bit. Finally, Eyeteeth deigns to feint at Jupis, who jumps back. While he's out of reach, Roland takes a second to line up his scourge hit, and Ghost-trees is dead.  Jupis is the only member of Lightly Whipped with even a smidgen of a combat possibility left in him, but he's slain two foes already, and he's standing atop Trump's not-quite-carcass as a distraction for the attacks of the other two. Roland and Eyeteeth are both a bit banged up, especially Roland. It wouldn't take too much for them to go down, and only Roland can actually hurt the enemy. On the other hand, Jupis is more banged up; he's got the skills to potentially win, but he has to play perfectly from here. For a brief moment, Grimmik stirs, then, beginning to comprehend the horror that is his body, he slips back to dreamland. The fight seems settled, though. Jupis takes more and more hits from Roland. It's a thousand cuts, but eventually he's going to go under without a big hit of his own. Oh... and now Roland has fallen for Jupis's gambit. He's attacking Trump instead of the foe that can hit back. A hand flies. It's from Jupis. It's not his weapon hand, though. Maybe Jupis can still... no, there's his intestines. We're not supposed to see those. And there's the killing blow from Roland.  That's it. Lightly Whipped can no longer offer even token resistance. Trump will not die with any grace, though. Check the log for page after page of minotaur torture porn. While he sits there, shrugging off everything, Grimmik somehow, unbelievably, regains consciousness, and begins crawling after his tormentors with all the terrors of hell driving him forward.  He slowly drags himself to Eyeteeth. He bites, drawing blood, Eyeteeth shakes him off. He bites again, drawing more blood. Eyeteeth shakes him off again. This is how Eyeteeth stands to lose. Blood loss will kill him dead; no bruise will kill Grimmik. Finally, though, Trump gives in and suffers a miserable death, choking to death now that he's been so terribly tortured. His lungs just gave out. Finally, Eyeteeth chooses his moment and makes his first real move; Grimmik finds his neck broken. That's the move he spent the entire match preparing and practicing for. A few more scourge attacks, and Grimmik is dead. Final Score Lightly Whipped: 2 This Bites: 4 Kills Jupis Tooki McGannel: 2 Roland Gorchnik: 4 Combat Log (recommended reading) Special bonus shout-out to Sun Tzulander the Philomodel for special advancements in martial arts.
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Dec 14, 2015 07:05
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That was a good fun fight.
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Dec 14, 2015 07:22
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Dang. A real nailbiter.
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Dec 14, 2015 07:27
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It's sad that Lightly Whipped's best showing is still a loss.
Emmideer fucked around with this message at 09:39 on Dec 14, 2015 |
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Dec 14, 2015 07:42
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goddamnit Jupis tried so hard
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Dec 14, 2015 09:11
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What a great fight! If they can keep that up, it shouldn't be too long till Lightly Whipped get their first win!
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Dec 14, 2015 09:30
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I'm pretty sure I'll never get a kill, but I don't care if Sun just keeps throwing enemies so hard they just shatter.
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Dec 14, 2015 10:53
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Never in the annals of Dwarf Fortress Arena history has so little effectiveness been demonstrated by so many. Still, Roland Gorchik pulls off the very rare clean sweep, four kills drawing him level with teammate Knife toseeu and taking him up into the ranks of actually getting noticed on 6 kills. Jupis Tooki Mcgannel earns his escape from the despised ranks of the unblooded with a brace, which doubles Lightly Whipped's kill tally for the whole tournament. They're still nought for six, but at least they've now killed a teams worth of opponents.
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Dec 14, 2015 10:56
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I was really hoping they'd pull it off...
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Dec 14, 2015 14:45
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I should have started with the bronze hat. It kept her alive long enough to be a useful distraction.
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Dec 14, 2015 15:46
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Roland "2 Chainz" Gorchik is like some kind of Cindarella story.
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Dec 14, 2015 18:17
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Heavily Whipped.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:25
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Being a big, unkillable distraction was the game plan with Eyeteeth, but it would be nice for him to have more effect than making opponents "feel sick". I mean, technically all that organ damage is going to shorten lifespans eventually.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:49
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Jazzimus, if you get a chance, check your PMs, please.Revenant Threshold posted:Being a big, unkillable distraction was the game plan with Eyeteeth, but it would be nice for him to have more effect than making opponents "feel sick". I mean, technically all that organ damage is going to shorten lifespans eventually. He probably would have been significantly more deadly if he just had the silver buckler. Gladiators can't tell what weapon is the most effective, leading to occasionally insane choices. Also would have been better with a shield instead of a buckler. And that was only veeeery technically able to shorten anyone's life. Literally the only time he drew blood was when he scratched Grimmik, and the only other time he did more than bruise was breaking Grimmik's spine. And that was after working at it so whole-heartedly that he was literally collapsing on the ground, too exhausted to even stand. Not counting the above two exceptions, the only possible way for Eyeteeth's assault to do more actual damage than an overly vigorous massage would be lung damage, and Eyeteeth was unable to make Trump have difficulty breathing until after Roland started breaking ribs. I'm not sure he was physically capable of killing Trump on his own, disregarding absolutely anything else.
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Dec 15, 2015 00:43
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On the upside if you keep hitting them and making them throw up, I hear that that sort of chronic reflux might lead to esophageal cancer later in life so you could conceivably win that way.
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Dec 15, 2015 01:02
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Holy poo poo is it Wednesday already? Will get to a fight this afternoon!
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Dec 16, 2015 18:03
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Excellent. Dwarfhalla applauds your dedication and commitment to bloodletting. 
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Dec 16, 2015 18:21
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Round 6, Fight 2 Subterranean Animists is on the left side of the arena. Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a copper short sword, a copper short sword, and a copper short sword and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, iron leggings, and iron gauntlets. Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, and iron gauntlets. Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and iron gauntlets. Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Two Chicks with Dicks is on the right side of the arena. Suck & gently caress Pighead (Dirty Frank) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears no armor. Bo (Haystack) is a male human. He wields a bronze short sword and a wooden shield and wears a leather cap, leather armor, and leather high boots. Stumpy (Mygna) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron great axe and wears a copper mail shirt. Richard Kyanka (Lorrdernie) is a male dark gnome. He wields a bronze large dagger and wears no armor.  Subterranean Animists is a 1.09 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 10179.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 9330.00 dwarfbucks for Two Chicks with Dicks.  Before the fighters even reach each other Qwarf decides now is a good time to daydream about his wife. From my understanding of their discussions pre-fight, Qwarf bought his wife a new axe and she sent him a sexy charcoal drawing of what she's going to do to him when he gets home.  Braun the 100% totally a dwarf shoves her sword into Suck and gently caress the goblin up top. An artery is opened, and the sword pulls free of her chest. Suck and gently caress sacrificed her chest to smash Braun's leg to bits, sending the 'dwarf' to the floor. Dwarf 'blood' sprays everywhere. Stumpy attacks Qwarf while the dwarf is daydreaming about his bearded lady awaiting his pleasure at home. A blow glances from his helm, and then Qwarf sends his spear into Richard Kyanka's ribs. That really hurt, Kyakna is bleeding, in severe pain, and has problems breathing. More dwarves should go into marriage trances. Qwarf turns and puts his spear through Bo's foot which sends the small dark gnome to the floor. Stumpy leaves Qwarf alone and takes on Dusseldorf. Actually, it's kind of one sided and Dusseldorfs leg goes flying really really really high up into the air.  Suck and gently caress is beating the hell out of Braun up top. Qwarf won't stop tormenting Richard Kyanka down south. Baldwin hasn't got much screen time, but he makes his presence known by stabbing Bo in the head, ending his time in this world. Qwarf is still daydreaming about his wife in a nice adamantium bikini. Baldwin follows up his kill by shattering Stumpy's arm and sending the dwarf to the floor unconscious.  Look, a GIF! Within half a second of Bo dying, Richard Kyanka follows suit. Dusseldorf gets the kill from the ground. Within half a second of that death Braun Strowman's totally a dwarf head is smashed by Suck and gently caress's hammer.  Almost a full second passes before the next death. Baldwin puts Stumpy down with a spear to the face.   Suck and gently caress sends Baldwin into unconsciousness by putting his leg bone through his other leg bone. Gross. Qwarf arrives, fully erect from his daydreams, and slams into the goblin from the side. He puts her to the floor and walks away. Dusseldorf crawls forward and finishes the goblin off. Subterranean Animists with a 4-1 victory. Kills: Baldwin: 2 Dusseldorf: 2 Suck and gently caress: 1 Combat Log
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Dec 16, 2015 20:36
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I thought they had to be outnumbered to start trance raving?
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Dec 16, 2015 20:40
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goatface posted:I thought they had to be outnumbered to start trance raving? I thought so too, which is weird. Maybe there's a small chance when it's even numbers?
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Dec 16, 2015 20:44
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It's odd that the first line of the combat log is the trance happening. He ran out there and faced off against Stumpy and Kyanka at the same time. Maybe that's it?
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Dec 16, 2015 20:52
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Spermy Smurf posted:It's odd that the first line of the combat log is the trance happening. Ah, like a proximity effect. Makes sense. I'm certainly not going to argue with my 11,499.56 dorf buck victory. *hides charcoal and paper* Emmideer fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Dec 16, 2015 |
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Dec 16, 2015 20:55
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Spermy Smurf posted:More dwarves should go into marriage trances. Marital trance  .
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Dec 16, 2015 21:02
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Mr. Vile posted:Marital trance Yeah, but if I wrote it Marital in the writeup people would have just thought I was an idiot so I changed the word completely so that they knew I was joking and also an idiot.
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Dec 16, 2015 21:06
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Spermy Smurf posted:It's odd that the first line of the combat log is the trance happening. I wonder if it's a case where newly-spawned creature checks for enemies before it checks for allies?
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Dec 16, 2015 21:22
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Subterranean Animists are the first team to make the landmark of 20 kills: The all-dwarf gimmick seems to be working for them. Dusseldwarf reaches the heights of 8 kills total, whilst Baldwin overtakes Qwarf on his way to 6 kills.
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Dec 16, 2015 21:24
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Odds for the next match are currently 3,326.00 to 14,176.00 Come get some money at hilarious five-to-one odds.
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Dec 16, 2015 21:33
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death to the erect dwarf menace
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Dec 16, 2015 21:53
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Tunicate posted:Odds for the next match are currently Do not fall this man's tricks, he is merely attempting to steal your money. Pretend go big and/or go home is lightly whipped, because as far as this match is concerned, whether they are or not doesn't make a difference. And I say this as someone who bet on Worse Munki.
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Dec 16, 2015 21:57
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I should've gutted him! Nerf dwarves dwarves OP
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Dec 16, 2015 22:12
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jon joe posted:Do not fall this man's tricks, he is merely attempting to steal your money. Pretend go big and/or go home is lightly whipped, because as far as this match is concerned, whether they are or not doesn't make a difference. Look at you, advocating for a team that's worse than Bad Munki, which has two members with only one kill each across the entire tournament.
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Dec 16, 2015 23:03
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Tunicate posted:Look at you, advocating for a team that's worse than Bad Munki, which has two members with only one kill each across the entire tournament. No that's the opposite of what I'm saying. Worse Munki gonna destroy go big and/or go home, because Worse Munki is a good team. Emmideer fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Dec 16, 2015 |
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Dec 16, 2015 23:06
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jon joe posted:No that's the opposite of what I'm saying. Worse Munki is obviously worse than Bad Munki. It's right in the name
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Dec 16, 2015 23:12
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Rampant
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Dec 16, 2015 23:15
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| # ? May 10, 2024 06:01 |
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Tunicate posted:I wonder if it's a case where newly-spawned creature checks for enemies before it checks for allies? This isn't quite it. Dwarves go into martial trances when they feel outnumbered. You can have a fortress martial trance while 200 dwarves are working away and one guy finds himself surrounded by seven goblins. So even though this was 4v4, Qwarf there went "oh my Armok there are four of them, I am outnumbered" and threw himself into a martial trance. I'm actually not 100% on this, but I thiiiink if we go into it in more detail, it's basically "have a chance to go into a martial trance based on >1 enemy currently targeting you". So two of the Chicks were moving forward targeting Qwarf, instead of a perfect 1-1 matchup. And, well, low chance of it happening but it happened eventually. Also: hello from your new #3 betting leader  and also Jazz helped me upload a corrected version of the fight log for the fight before this one.
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Dec 17, 2015 00:00
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