Notable Gaming Experiences: The Gospel According to CobiWann's DM

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PantsOptional: Dec 27, 2012; All I wanna do is make you bounce

I actually don't know the Changeling story very well; I went to the character creation session and then fled, never to look back.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 14:10

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# ? May 21, 2024 20:14

Ichabod Sexbeast: Dec 5, 2011; Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle

Guildencrantz posted:

D&D is a bad game

One thing I meant to ask - you ran a polish communist x-files game, right? That sounded fun - what system did you use?

# ? Dec 17, 2015 14:28

Shady Amish Terror: Oct 11, 2007; I'm not Amish by choice. 8(

Corvinus posted:

Black and white thinking (aka. all-or-nothing thinking) is called splitting in psychology. Almost everyone's brain grows out of it but a few people don't. It's also one of the things used to diagnose people with borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Not enough information to tell if this Justin feller is BPD, but there's a 110% chance he's a splitter.

Thanks, I figured there must have been a word for this phenomena I was forgetting, given it had come up more than once; all-or-nothing/splitting is probably the accurate issue in all these cases, yeah.

As for BPD I'm at least passingly familiar with, and yeah, it's...it's a real doozy, that one, but you're right that it's not clearly the case here. The problem with trying to nail down BPD, of course, is that since BPD pushes you towards being weasely, mercurial, and manipulative, and generally presents as something like depression, it's kind of hard to diagnose properly at the best of times. :v:

# ? Dec 17, 2015 14:52

Skyscraper: Oct 1, 2004; Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

piL posted:

I can get behind some Metal Gear Solid LARP.

One guy just goes all wrestlemania on people and everyone else salutes him and thanks him for it.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 17:20

Jenny Angel: Oct 24, 2010; Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!; Lipstick Apathy

Bieeardo posted:

Regarding the Building from Hell, it strikes me that rolling your own wouldn't be too difficult. Come up with an internally consistent metaphysic, some background information on why the hell the thing was built, and start the PCs off as fledgling gods. Borrow some civilizations from the Starlost, or the Paradise Towers serial from the old Doctor Who... or from something with a slightly less silly pedigree, and Bob's your uncle.

There's also the question of what you use as your mechanical system, but lucky for you, literally almost anything will be better than what the hosed Up Hell Building actually served up as far as mechanics. Find out more in

hosed Up Hell Building: Pt IX

which has a quick foreword before Ben gets into the heart of the matter. See, about three months after getting involved in this game, Lexi IMs me and mentions that I should probably make a mortal character sheet for Peter Rabbit to represent his capabilities when he's not in the divine realm. I'm a little surprised when I realize that I've been coasting for three months without one of these, but I say sure and ask how to make one. Lexi more or less tells me, "Think of things that Peter would have points in, and then put points in them." Okay, uh... is there a standardized list of things to put points in? Nah, not really. Is there... a set number of points that I have to distribute? Nah, not really. Is there... a frame of reference for what these numbers mean? Uh, sorta. 50 is the maximum for a given "thing you put your points in", but as Ben is about to explain, numbers are meaningless once you dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed.

I never ended up making a character sheet. Any attempts to hammer out any kind of context at all for these numbers were largely futile, and the way that PCs threw around their own numbers was arbitrary and confusing enough that I just said "gently caress it, I'll tell them they succeeded or failed based on whether I think it it'll be more narratively interesting and enjoyable for them - GMs can overrule me if it's a problem". That worked a looot better. Anyway:

Ben posted:

The Twilight Zone Mechanical Fuckery Power Hour

Welcome back. I�m Ben, and for my sins I get to explain the mechanics of the hosed Up Hell Building. My sins in this case being that I grotesquely abused them at the time, because that was the only way to get anything done. I�ve seen a few expressions of what I consider an understandable sentiment: �Well, if we ran this without all the absolutely unbearable people involved, wouldn�t it be really cool?� and I know Jenny's already addressed this point well, but:

No. Not in its present form, and not in any form that didn�t rip out its mechanical skeleton and stick in a new one. See, the mechanics of this game were shoddy as hell, and existed primarily to put a gloss of setting consistency on pure GM fiat designed to lead you ever further into an emotionally-manipulative clusterfuck.

As a reminder: My mortals were the Rezzies, or Residents, the randos living in the halls of the hosed Up Hell Building and staying alive however they could. They were also universally �insane�, by which Eva meant �have a weird imaginary friend and act all wacky and violent�, so there goes any attempt at subtlety or psychological realism. This really wasn�t necessary to get the Mad Max vibe they clearly needed, but it was the law of the land. Their god was a skeletal horse with the mind of a child, a serial killer for a best friend, Hermes Yes-That-Hermes, for an adopted father and Circe, Yes-Greek-Myths-Are-Basically-The-Main-Event-That-Circe for an adopted mother. Also over a thousand severed arms for catching the souls of the dead and taking them to the afterlife. Also some FUBAR mechanics. I hope you brought your wading boots, because this is some deep bullshit.

Let�s start with dice. This was a D100 system, in which you combined your character�s numbers with a D100 roll and higher totals were better. There was no real sense, on the player end, of what number corresponded to what level of skill. There was a cap of 50 on a given skill, but how effective that was in an absolute sense, no idea. Mortals combined basic statistics (strength, stamina, whatever - these didn�t matter at all to quote-unquote �well� designed characters) with any applicable skills, like �Use Rope� and �To Serve Man� to nicely tie a human roast, or whatever. Skills could be as vague as you wanted, really, as long as they applied sometimes and not others. Characters also had flaws, which subtracted from their rolls, unless a particular flaw would come in handy for something, at which point they added. These flaws granted more points to the main character creation in exact proportion to how much you took. For most rolls not opposed to other players, you just had to clear 100 to be doing alright; against another player you compared totals.

To illustrate why this is dumb, if you haven�t seen it yet: my starting character was a spiteful old man called The Mountaineer who hated everyone and everything (Flaw: Hates Everyone for 40) and carried around shower-curtain harpoons. He was not about to die: I gave him the maximum possible in one skill (50) for his ability �Refuse to Die�, and this was allowed. When in life-threatening situations fighting anyone I hated (basically any NPC) I could add those numbers together, plus his basic strength or whatever, which was ~20. He could one-shot any NPC mortal he met. He could not be killed. Any time I could argue his �don�t die� and �I hate you� skills/flaws applied, he became a murderous juggernaut. So the real mechanical challenge of a mortal character was arguing that skills ought to apply and stack, and as soon as I realized that I was golden.

The GMs never put a cap on this, and I suspect some, but not all, other players were doing something similar. The mortal level of the game was supposed to be gritty, painful, and doomed. Can you tell from that character description of the Mountaineer? Because that bastard didn�t do any of that. He had to be impaled about seven times before the GMs decided that the combined penalties from blood loss killed him, and only after killing a Fisherman king and walking out of the negotiation room full of spears.

I had some other characters, but the only usefully illustrative one after that was Lancelot. Lancelot was Rezzie Batman with a special Excalibur sword-whip made from elevator cable that he used like a bat-grapple, a hand puppet named Squire Robin for a sidekick, and no mechanical brakes whatsoever. He had 35 points (again, scales to 100) on �while using Excalibur� � the weapon he always used whenever he had the chance. His flaws were universally applicable to combat in a positive sense, and he had the maximum points worth of flaws, more than doubling his total value as a character. Before rolling a D100, I could get him 240 on attacking, as long as he acted like Batman. Again: What tone is this game going for? Because �effortless superhero victory� is not something the GMs intended. My fault? Yeah, totally, I abused the hell out of stupid mechanics. I�m not proud, though I did like the characters I made. But I had this degree of success, while players who didn�t relentlessly stack up and fake out flaws... didn�t.

So that�s a tonal clusterfuck right there, but thankfully, mortals barely mattered at all once gods appeared. Gods, instead, had both a bunch of numbers and their domains with which to perform miracles. Miracles were basically Mage: The Arguing With GMs Into Letting You Do Things. You had your domains, you just had to argue that something could be done to the GMs to get to do it. When you did the miracle, if you were opposed you generally rolled off with Belief + Domains, and I guess Domain grabs might have involved Belief + Self? Nothing was explained outright. Obfuscated mechanics were the order of the day, not that it mattered. The GMs, especially Eva, didn�t actually mechanize the setting. At least, not much. An illustrative example: there were no mechanics for mortals losing belief or religions changing, because all god-stuff is set once you kill the Primordium, and belief lets you beam your divine commands directly into your mortals� skulls. Every society is a theocracy � gods have complete control over everyone, after a certain point. Magic Kings in your brain for everybody!

With that said: my god character ended up no less broken than my mortals. Thus begins the saga of How Binky the Death Horse Learned One Weird Trick To Becoming Unbalanced. There were no brakes on this train. First of all, my character sheet was a combination of totally unfair advantages (NPCs who were apparently legitimately emotionally devoted to me and so powerful that the rest of the pantheon had to get along with them; massively higher stats and a more developed god than any other PC; controlling the underworld) and landmines. For example, one of those NPCs would enslave any god whose true name they learned. Also, my best buddy and high priest was the worst serial killer around. Also, if Binky ever determined that its heart was a fake it would implode in a puff of logic, and this domain was serious business for the main plot so it would come up multiple times and Binky would literally have to leave the room for main-plot-important conversations. Also, I had the mind of a child terminally unable to say no to friends, like the serial killer or Alexander. Oh, and my adoptive father killed me to take my first domain, Resurrection, which is the reason the gods outside the tower are all at war with each other. Wow, wasn�t that a mouthful.

I avoided those landmines as best I could and set about increasing the quantities I knew as �B, D, S� because I didn�t even get to learn that a domain was called a domain until someone said it in an unguarded moment at the table. I had, to be clear, no idea how domains, the Primordium-killing, or any other part of the metaplot worked from my character sheet, because that was the balancing factor: I had the runaway best stats but I didn�t know what the goal of the game was. Great design right there. I pretty quickly figured out that B was �Belief� and boy oh boy, did I have a lot of it, but I wanted more as fast as possible. I�d like to claim part of this was selfless: I did want to have enough stats to throw around to head off any total game-imploding fuckery. But mostly this was just because I wanted to see my numbers grow, and I liked the feeling of winning the minigame.

So I started experimenting. The only trick that matters to this, because it was the ultimate grind method, was telepathy. In the world of hosed Up Hell Building, gods can speak directly into the brain of anyone with high �Connection� (C). So I invented a quick little miracle using my free-floating severed arms to let me try and telepathy at non-Rezzies, which the GM approved if my B were high enough when combined with the mortal�s C. I just let my fingers do the walking. I�d call up every member of a nation I could talk to like that (Highwaymen would believe anything, so they were some of the first) and bam - my B would increase hugely. Then I�d reach out to the next-highest Nation on the C list. And my B would, again, increase. Soon enough I had near-universal coverage. Everyone believes in the skeletal horse that collects you when you die! Befriend the horse. The horse is your friend.

Now, what�s really hosed about this One Weird Trick is that I was rewarded by the system for having more to start with. The higher my numbers, the faster I could grow. The only real competition were two GMNPCs, Rem and a God of the Sun and Agriculture named Greenplenty. They�d *somehow* both read the book on increasing stats. Funny how that works. They managed to be just a little more than half as powerful each, in raw numbers, as I was when the game petered out.

Of course, that wasn�t all. You could also play the slot machine of doom, in the sense that there were a bunch of weird entities and events scattered around the Tower. Most of these would gently caress you over if you weren�t tough enough to tank the hit � and I was the tankiest horse in the room. So I gleefully ran around punching buttons, tanking the bad and gaining the good. The most important was an interview with the local newspaper, which published an interview with three gods, immensely boosting their Belief and throwing random domains around between their portfolios. Those three gods? Myself, Greenplenty, and Rem. And yeah - that�s a one-time-only opportunity to increase your stats immensely, going to the grindmonster GMs and the overstatted grindmonster player. In my defense, I never knew for sure whether the levers I pulled were landmines or prizes before I did them, but the result was the same: I had a stupidly powerful advantage over every other PC.

Now, you might wonder: In such a freeform game, why would stats matter that much? Surely after a certain point they were just fun to have, but the actual godwar would be about clever domain use? No. Not really at all. See, not only were clever power ideas gated by the idiosyncratic setting concepts that Eva used to interpret everything, those same clever powers would only work against someone with higher stats if the GMs decided that this particular effect can bypass the stats. So numbers were all that mattered to beating NPCs and other PCs half the time � unless the GMs wanted otherwise. Numbers were a gateway to being allowed to be useful, unless the GMs were particularly taken with your idea. They were much more likely, of course, to be particularly taken with their own ideas � See part VIII and being �as smart as Eva.� So stats were everything, if you wanted to do divine mechanics, because stats were how you earned the right to do clever plans.

And amid all this, Eva was certain this was a work of genius, fully self-consistent and mechanically defined. She even went so far as to congratulate me, after completely transforming my death horse�s character and god concept, for �discovering the complexity that I wrote into the character sheet.� I do think the character I twisted and shaped the horse into was a decent one. I also think that neither humility nor recognizing when something is a burning trashpile were among the GMs� strong suits.

This isn�t the whole mechanical story, of course - there were many other hosed little details. But I think this covers a broad swath of why this game should not be played, mechanically.

I'd like to add one final note in order to help absolve Ben of his powergaming fuckery. Remember from Pt VIII how the GMs always made you feel like there was exactly one perfect solution to this horrendous situation, and you were an idiot if you didn't figure out the exact right one? Remember from this part how the GMs would also gate participation in those perfect solutions based on whether your stats were high enough to be taken seriously? Yeah... not only was it pretty much entirely sensible to start grinding and powergaming as efficiently as possible in order to keep you and yours from getting hosed over by cruel GM fiat, but it was implied as a prerequisite (or at least a major factor) for attempting to help the hosed Up Hell Building in any significant way. That's right, it is straight up a moral imperative to powergame, and a moral failure to not powergame or to powergame poorly.

Unfortunately, we've now reached the end of describing how hosed Up this Hell Building was. Fortunately, there's still more to come! See, about year ago, Lexi contacted Ben and I and said she wanted to start a new run of hosed Up Hell Building without Eva's involvement, and in a direct attempt to fix all of the issues that made every run into one kind of disaster or another. Ben and I brainstormed amongst ourselves and prepared a bunch of materials outlining our idea for the changes to setting, tone, scope, narrative structure, and player involvement that could conceivably salvage this poo poo. So for those of you who have been posting variants of "Wow, this sounds like a trainwreck, but the kernel of something cool is there", rejoice! Tomorrow, in Part X, I'll unveil our best attempt to make something worthwhile of this.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 17:38

Ilor: Feb 2, 2008; That's a crit.

Jenny Angel posted:

Tomorrow, in Part X, I'll unveil our best attempt to make something worthwhile of this.

Don't do it! It's a trap!

# ? Dec 17, 2015 18:39

aerion111: Nov 29, 2011; Prodigy of Curiosity.
Master of Jacks.
Apprentice of Masks.
And, when fighting the forces of darkness, always remember: "Armor of Darkness, Weapon of Light"

Ilor posted:

Don't do it! It's a trap!

I'm sure the players will manage to make up for the lack of the old GMs.
And if we're really lucky, the new GMs will 'help' too.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 18:51

Jenny Angel: Oct 24, 2010; Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!; Lipstick Apathy

Oh sorry, that's a pretty important piece of context I left out. Lexi was pretty receptive to the changes that Ben and I suggested, but her GM team (consisting of players in previous runs, including the main one I've been describing) was like, "Yeah, some of this sounds good, but a lot of these big changes don't make it feel like hosed Up Hell Building anymore". Which, yeah, that's the point, but that was apparently a deal-breaker for them. So Ben and I wished Lexi luck, asked her to please not use any of the materials that we'd put together, and left them to their own devices. I'm not sure if Lexi's planned run ever got off the ground, or how it went if it did? But if the goal was "Let's keep things pretty much the same except it'll be fine because Eva's not involved this time", then, uhhhhhhhhhhhh

# ? Dec 17, 2015 19:20

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

Wow, that skill system. How on earth can someone gently caress up the concept of flaws that badly? It's not even as bad as the systems where they're so minor that you take as many as you can so that you can min/max - they're straight up bonuses!

# ? Dec 17, 2015 19:28

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

no you see if someone happens to hand me my cloak as I get out of the bath by putting one foot on a goat, it's totally a penalty.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 20:34

Golden Bee: Dec 24, 2009; I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

They're job interview weaknesses; I'm a perfectionist, I take on too much responsibility, I'm too much of a team player.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 20:53

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Dirk the Average posted:

Wow, that skill system. How on earth can someone gently caress up the concept of flaws that badly? It's not even as bad as the systems where they're so minor that you take as many as you can so that you can min/max - they're straight up bonuses!

To be fair, oWoD did pretty much the same thing iirc. Your could take bullshit inconsequential flaws like "the temp of any room you enter drops 10 degrees" that don't affect you at all but can give you a circumstantial bonus to threats or the like. I remember one that gave all your Thaumaturgy rolls -2 difficulty, but everyone using Thaumaturgy on you got +1 die because you were just so magical. Because being 20% more successful with magic is a flaw.

# ? Dec 17, 2015 21:19

Coward: Sep 10, 2009; _{I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure}

.

Yawgmoth posted:

To be fair, oWoD did pretty much the same thing iirc. Your could take bullshit inconsequential flaws like "the temp of any room you enter drops 10 degrees" that don't affect you at all but can give you a circumstantial bonus to threats or the like. I remember one that gave all your Thaumaturgy rolls -2 difficulty, but everyone using Thaumaturgy on you got +1 die because you were just so magical. Because being 20% more successful with magic is a flaw.

Prey Exclusion: Ninjas was a favourite in our circle for a while.

# ? Dec 18, 2015 04:32

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Coward posted:

Prey Exclusion: Ninjas was a favourite in our circle for a while.

Prey Exclusion: Children was always a good one for me since it was reasonable on the surface yet firmly in the "stuff I was going to (not) do anyways."

# ? Dec 18, 2015 15:10

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Ours was Inability to Change Shape(Listening to German Industrial Dieselpunk)

# ? Dec 18, 2015 16:03

Guildencrantz: May 1, 2012; IM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

One thing I meant to ask - you ran a polish communist x-files game, right? That sounded fun - what system did you use?

Yup, that was me

I made two approaches to that one, at first I used Trails of Cthulhu, then FATE because I was enamored with the system at the time. In hindsight that was a bad choice, it's not well suited to an investigative horror playstyle at all. If I were to do a campaign like that again, I'd either go back to Trails or hack Hunter the Vigil.

(comedy option: reskinned Dark Heresy)

Guildencrantz fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Dec 19, 2015

# ? Dec 18, 2015 16:14

Ambi: Dec 30, 2011; Leave it to me

Kurieg posted:

Ours was Inability to Change Shape(Listening to German Industrial Dieselpunk)

That sounds like it'd be a hilarious liability whenever you had to go fight some kind of Industrial Diesel Fomori, or Christine ne� Carrie the Demon Car. Then again, I usually avoided oWoD flaws because every ST in our group would make sure they bite you for their points value often enough to actually be flaws. Prime example; session 1 in a Mage game, we meet up with our contact in New Orleans, who turns out to be the city's premier demonhunter. The Freerunning VA took Nephandic mentor and Tainted Resonance flaws, so smells like satan's lapdog to anyone with any kind of perception with that kindof thing. We walk in the front door, and the demonhunter immediately kneecap.

I only took Technobabble for 1pt flaw, because I wanted to be an Etherite's Etherite, and it gave me all the excuse I needed to explain everything using tachyons (Time flows like a river, right? So why don't we just put a waterwheel on that river? :science:

) CofD's "gain experience if you flaw inconvenienced you seriously this session" is probably a better way to run it than extra freebies, but we stumbled upon the Chronic Renal Failure flaw first time making a nWoD character and couldn't get over it.

# ? Dec 18, 2015 16:26

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

I once took every creepy supernatural flaw I could think of on a Tremere (vampire wizard) tabletop character, gave him a poo poo-load of Thaumaturgy (vampire magic) and roleplayed him like a more mild mannered Emperor Palpatine, black robe and all. His concept was going to be that he was 2 SPOOPY for the outside world, so spent all his time doing Vampire Wizard Admin in the chantry (vampire wizard treehouse), only being forced out by politics / the events of the story.

But the game was so boring and my Palpatine impression so bad/good that the other PCs decided he was OBVIOUSLY the leader of the group, and the game became "Vampire Wizards' Night Off".

# ? Dec 18, 2015 17:14

Jenny Angel: Oct 24, 2010; Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!; Lipstick Apathy

aerion111 posted:

I'm sure the players will manage to make up for the lack of the old GMs.
And if we're really lucky, the new GMs will 'help' too.

Don't worry, I'm here to save the hosed Up Hell Building!!

Okay, here goes. This is the hardest part to write by far, since it's fun and easy and rewarding to recount a trainwreck than it is to come up with something better. I don't know if any of these changes would actually result in a fun and fulfilling game, and I don't know what a proper mechanical system for this setting would look like at all. But I know that a lot has to change if any of these "this sounds like a cool premise ruined by idiots!" posts are to come to fruition, and that simply removing Eva while keeping all of Eva's setting and story assumptions is not a solution. Instead, I propose

hosed Up Hell Building: Pt X

starting with a significant shift in the game's tone. A lot of it is making the game less relentlessly bleak, but it's also a different kind of bleak. For a game that was allegedly survival horror and allegedly about desperate people trapped in an unsustainable situation, each nation was remarkably functional, stable, and secure. I never saw any PC going "I wonder how I'm going to be able to feed all my people once these last stockpiles run out" - it was always "I wonder when the GMs are next going to have an impossibly powerful monster blow all my poo poo up". I'd want to shift from problems that are acute and unsolvable to ones that are chronic and solvable - if you buckle down and decide you want Good Things to happen to your nation, it won't happen overnight, but it definitely can happen and it won't be washed away the next time the GMs want to gently caress with you. The game has to feel more like actual nation-building and less like "petty squabbling with other players and occasional wild swings in the general welfare of my people".

Coupled with that, the game needs a lot more humor. The only times funny things happened in the hosed Up Hell Building were when people tried to recount the litany of bleak poo poo with a straight face, or when players actively rebelled against the depressing tone - e.g. Chris's laid-back bro god conjuring a bowl of popcorn and a table to kick his feet up on during divine realm negotiations. There needs to be a capacity for players to laugh in a way that's not actively talking past the setting, so I propose adding a darkly comic, satirical tone to the whole thing - think Catch-22, or any number of Coen brothers films. Plenty of the PC nations are already ripe for this - there's one called the Corporation that clings to the ways of the pre-building world and sees themselves as rational businessmen, so have one of them open a diplomatic talk by smoothly saying "please, step into my office", opening a door to a room crammed full of bones, and laugh it off as if he'd just mildly embarrassed himself by interrupting another meeting. There's a lot of potential in the vein of "be careful about what you let yourself get used to".

If it sounds like I want the general competence level in the setting to go down, then yeah, that's pretty much accurate. I don't want to make everyone except PCs into complete buffoons, but I think there is something really rewarding about playing the rare straight men who can cut through the accumulated cultural hosed-up-ness of the building and actually effect positive change. And I think it's an important change for the hosed Up Hell Building project too - I don't get a whole lot out of a sadistic omnipotent conspiracy doing sadistic omnipotent things, but a massive bureaucratic apparatus that's become entrenched enough that it can only really fail upward anymore? That sounds pretty true to life. Maybe the project had that level of cold, calculating cruelty when it first started, but that was hundreds of years ago.

Nowadays, when a team leader files a scathing report to her supervisor demonstrating that the poorly-trained snipers under her command are such lovely shots that the residents of the building have started deliberately exposing themselves to sniper fire and tattooing intricate patterns around the grazing bullet wounds, the response is "Excellent work - natives of the building are developing primitive scarification rituals. Spiritual development is on track for Q4 projections. This success will be reflected in your performance review". When the project fills the lowest floors of the building with traps, cameras, and special forces response teams in order to prevent escape and create the impression of "haunted floors" to the building residents, and when those cameras start to go dark and those special forces teams stop coming back, the response is "Well, uh... if nobody's coming out, then I guess it's haunted for real now? No sense fixing what's broken".

The most important manifestation of this "failing upward" trend, however, is the Primordium replacement that Ben came up with, called The Eldest. It's an autonomous, nuclear-powered war machine created by the hosed Up Hell Building project to prevent escape, and it started off as a tank-like ATV with some pretty simple programming to kill anyone it runs into, leave single survivors with horrible radiation poisoning to spread tales of it, and generally act as the sort of primordial figure of evil that the project believes is necessary for gods to start showing up. Over time, this radioactive robot becomes haunted as gently caress, possessed by the dread myths about itself. Throughout the years it gradually changes its shape and takes on new abilities to match the wide-eyed tales of terror that its survivors tell about it. Its development is highly player-directed, with PCs submitting answers to the question of "What does the idea of 'The Enemy' mean to you?" to the GMs every so often, and The Eldest taking on some of those traits. Does it become a twelve-foot faceless giant crawling its way through these cramped corridors with a horrible keening sound? Does it become a great steel serpent that coils its way through the spaces between floors, leaving behind inhuman whispers and furiously clicking Geiger counters as it passes? That's up to the players.

Which dovetails nicely into the final, broadest major tonal change: I want players to feel like they can effect noticeable change in the building in a way that's commensurate with their efforts. I want this to be a setting where every institution has fundamentally failed its constituents by straying far from its theoretical purpose, but the PCs are in a position to gradually, carefully right that ship. So much of the original structure of the hosed Up Hell Building was devoted to making PCs feel like their accomplishments didn't really matter. You've done something worthwhile as your mortal PC? Whatever, he's dead and doesn't matter, you're gods now. You've done something worthwhile for the welfare of your nation? Whatever, the building's been discovered by omnipotent outside gods that will decide everything about what happens next. For something that gets sold first as a survival horror game and then as a nation-building / god game, there's a remarkable lack of consequence to your struggles. That, above all else, is what has to change.

More on that subject, through the lens of changes to the scope and agency of mortal characters, in Pt XI on Monday. And then the same for divine characters in Pt XII on Tuesday. That's right, the 12 Days of hosed Up Hell Building are real. I wasn't sure there would be enough content to last a full 12 days, but you clowns have inspired me. Happy holidays, one and all.

# ? Dec 18, 2015 17:40

ellbent: May 2, 2007; I NEVER HAD SOUL

My favorite oWoD merit/flaw always has been and will remain Ratkin Buddies. It was ostensibly only for Bone Gnawers (hobo werewolves) since it was in their splatbook but I tried to take it whenever possible -- even managed to get someone to let me take it as a Nosferatu in a vampire game.

Some people say you can describe the average werewolf game as being about ecoterrorism; you're soldiers of mother earth and by and large the main villains of the setting are evil corporations that love to pollute more than the bad guys from Captain Planet, and all their goons are unnatural mutant supersoldiers with evil spirits inside them, and they all work the big evil crazy corruption god called the Wyrm, who is the big bad of the game. The actual big bad is revealed to be the loving insane stasis/technology spider god who is responsible for the Wyrm being crazy in the first place, but whatever.

Well, Ratkin think werewolves are pussies as as far as terrorism goes. The opening comic of their splatbook has a bunch of Ratkin with AKs bombing a not-McDonalds. They have a background that represents how Dumb And Goddamn Crazy they are called 'Freak Factor' that's a result of escaping the werewolves' "totally justified" genocide thing by hiding the spirit worlds. They have gifts that turn them into invincible cartoon mice ("Itchy Form") and auspices that range from "Cyrano de Bergerac, but a rat" to "I'm the tweaking guy who tried to rob Bruce Willis in Fifth Element." Most of their kinfolk are too poor to even be white trash and their First Change involves suffering from every disease ever, basically, until Three Stooges syndrome takes over and you become immune to all disease.

Anyway, Ratkin Buddies mean that given a roll of the die (or the GM's whim) a bunch of these guys will be at your crib, eating your food, puking in the corner, detoxing in your bed, running up your pay-per-view with porn they're not even watching, making PB&J without cleaning the knife inbetween jars, etc. That's probably the best case scenario as far as normalcy goes. Maybe they'll show up with someone bleeding out from a cop's bullet. Maybe they'll show up with a cop bleeding out from one of theirs. Maybe they'll show up dressed as theme park mascots and tell you nothing but that they "need a driver, right now, no questions asked." On the bright side, you might find yourself in the position where a 6'2" methhead named Johnny Appendicitis who keeps picking his gold teeth with something called a "Pain Dagger" owes you a favor. poo poo, they might show up at 2am right when you're desperately trying to come up to a solution with your vampire problems with a satchel of Tec-9's, twenty pounds of semtex, and a grocery bag full of ominously empty cough syrup bottles only to ask if you need any problems solved.

I like Ratkin Buddies, is what I'm saying.

# ? Dec 18, 2015 19:53

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Ambi posted:

That sounds like it'd be a hilarious liability whenever you had to go fight some kind of Industrial Diesel Fomori, or Christine ne� Carrie the Demon Car. Then again, I usually avoided oWoD flaws because every ST in our group would make sure they bite you for their points value often enough to actually be flaws. Prime example; session 1 in a Mage game, we meet up with our contact in New Orleans, who turns out to be the city's premier demonhunter. The Freerunning VA took Nephandic mentor and Tainted Resonance flaws, so smells like satan's lapdog to anyone with any kind of perception with that kindof thing. We walk in the front door, and the demonhunter immediately kneecap.

I only took Technobabble for 1pt flaw, because I wanted to be an Etherite's Etherite, and it gave me all the excuse I needed to explain everything using tachyons (Time flows like a river, right? So why don't we just put a waterwheel on that river? ) CofD's "gain experience if you flaw inconvenienced you seriously this session" is probably a better way to run it than extra freebies, but we stumbled upon the Chronic Renal Failure flaw first time making a nWoD character and couldn't get over it.

Our first fight in an M&M campaign I was in back in college was versus a german industrial dieselpunk band. Not exaggerating in the slightest.

# ? Dec 19, 2015 00:09

Kavak: Aug 23, 2009

That Ratkin stuff sounds awesome. Bone Gnawers are the one good thing about Apocalypse.

This discussion reminded me that I actually got away with 4 points of phobias in an online oWoD chat game I never played (Heights and cigars).

# ? Dec 19, 2015 00:13

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Eponymous posted:

My Star Wars group captured a Sith inquisitor recently, and I was super happy about how everybody didn't want to resort to torture. We even tried to give her humane treatment while transporting her to a rebel prison, although after the inevitable escape/murder attempt we basically sealed her in a crate with some MREs.

So I'm catching up on posts from forever ago, and this reminded me of a long-running subplot in my own Star Wars campaign, which I've posted about before (I'm pretty proud of some of those stories, you can read them). For the curious, no, we haven't been able to continue it yet. I hold out hope.

When the party was just starting out as a cell of the Rebel Alliance - this was just around the time of the Battle of Hoth, IIRC - we didn't have a lot in the way of resources. We had a small space station that was equipped with (slow) hyperdrive so we could park it in a nondescript area of space, and we had a couple of ships, and we had ourselves and whatever miscellaneous personnel the Alliance could scrape together.

We weren't given access to a ton of equipment and resources because we weren't expected to need them; our mission wasn't to foment rebellion, our mission was to investigate the finances of the sector. See, somewhere along the line there were expenditures happening by the Sector Moff's office that didn't appear to be going anywhere - not to embezzlement or anything, this looked like some kind of badass black project, and theoretically, figuring out what that was was our goal.

(We sort of half-succeeded, and then started fomenting rebellion anyways because that's how we roll. One time we incited a planetary uprising by accident, because our cell leader has entirely too many points in social skills)

Four of the miscellaneous personnel we'd been assigned were named Kyle, Stan, Eric, and Kenny, because South Park was relatively new at the time (long-running game, yo) and our GM has a habit, when called upon to invent names for NPCs that weren't important enough to get a character sheet, of pulling names from pop culture. Now, the first three are relatively unimportant, but Kenny... Kenny was special. See, Kenny was a thief. Specifically, we'd be on a mission somewhere doing whatever and Kenny would vanish, and then the next time we saw him he had stuff. Random stuff. Like credits, or a box of grenades, or new furniture.

Anyways, one time Kenny was waiting for us back at our ship. He was very proud. He wanted to show us what he'd stolen. He stole a tank.

The tank's CO was still in the tank. He had been asleep when Kenny stole the tank. I never did get an explanation for how he did it.

Anyways, the Lieutenant, who we of course started calling Lieutenant Dan, woke up and saw that he'd been captured by Rebels and immediately refused to say anything beyond his name, rank, and serial number. And we told him "Dude, relax, I don't know what kind of propaganda you've been hoovering up but we're good guys, honest." And he responded with name, rank, and serial number.

So we decided that we were going to treat him fairly and humanely; he went into the brig, he got three meals a day, we even made sure he ate as well as the command staff did. Eventually we quit locking the door on his cell. Eventually we removed the door to his cell. He sat there, and would say only his name, rank, and serial number.

He's still there. Tank came in handy for the Battle of Coruscant, though.

(e: I just saw that actually I posted this story earlier. Well, poop. Now I'll have to think of a new story sometime soon.)

DivineCoffeeBinge fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Dec 19, 2015

# ? Dec 19, 2015 13:15

Jintor: May 19, 2014

Yeah, I was reading through and then you mentioned the South Park gang and I was like... hang on... I read that a while back...

Btw, having just seen the new Star Wars, I have to say that I think I might've enjoyed your gaming posts about your super long campaign more.

# ? Dec 19, 2015 13:53

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

ellbent posted:

they might show up at 2am ... with a satchel of Tec-9's, twenty pounds of semtex, and a grocery bag full of ominously empty cough syrup bottles only to ask if you need any problems solved.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

One time we incited a planetary uprising by accident

I want to be in a game, any game, where these two can be related in some way.

# ? Dec 19, 2015 20:11

Ambi: Dec 30, 2011; Leave it to me

Ran Ironman D&D game after a Christmas dinner with friends today, went a bit short because we were all falling into food comas. I presented a choice of scenarios; something Christmas-themed, Most Handsome Being competition, Tucker's Kobolds (as the kobolds), or a Heist. They chose to pull off a christmas-themed heist on Santa's workshop. To that end, the characters were;

Barry Skeletman, undead ~~gnome~~ keebler elf and ex-Paladin of Santa. He had skills in Elvish "Toy" Making, Sick Rituals, Bein' a Right oval office, and Summoning Coal. His special ability was HAIL SANTA!, forcing everyone to spend a round hailing santa lord of christmas. After dying in the service of Santa, as his right hand elf Rob Dobbler the Gob-Nobbler, he has come back to take his revenge for the terrible working conditions he had to endure, and free all elves from Santa's tyrannical yoke (and then raise them as an undead horde of course).
The White Rabbit, a half-bunny Fighter, who was late for a very important date but didn't quite know what this date was. It involved hanging around with these weirdos though, so she was along for the ride. Her skills were Digging, Hopping, Tick-tocking, and Bunny Kicks, and her special ability was mesmerising people with her bunny ears.
"Rude Dolph" Lewd Grin, a half-reindeer Barbarian, who had been fired by Santa after getting horrifically drunk and fighting all the other reindeer, and who was back to get his revenge and also win back his main squeeze, Blitzen. His skills were Naughty or Nice, Goring, and Dressage, and his special was of course, being able to lead the way with his nose so bright (from all the boozing).
Faust von Rumplestein, a dwarven Warlock, was here to corrupt christmas to the whims of his horrible eldritch masters. He had skills in Germanic Eldritch Arcane Magics, Faustian Bargaining, Weaseling out of Things, and Shouting Right Loud. His special ability was to summon an aspect of Ultimate Evil.
Baz Merryweather Williams, or BMW for short, was a half-jeep half-undecided Rogue with 6 in all 3 mental stats. His skills, as the getaway vehicle, were in Towing, All-Terrain Traction, Carrying Capacity, and he saved 2 points to put into something appropriate to his unknown other half once he decided on something for it. He was here to destroy santa's sleigh, to prove that jeeps were the ultimate in vehicular needs, with far greater carrying capacity, and thus should be Santa's #1 choice for delivering presents. His special skills was RAMMING SPEED.

Starting off the game, I used a small structure the Rabbit's player had made out of pieces of christmas crackers to model Santa's Domain, so the first obstacle was to cross the golden bridge over an endless crevasse, complicated by the Gingerbread golems patrolling it. Starting off strong, BMW burns a hero dice to ram straight through them and over the bridge, and Faust turns the candy cane rifles of the elves in the guard towers into candy-cane abominations that maul their wielders. Barry raises two of the golems as undead servants, and commands them to throw themselves under the portcullis to the main compound. This barely slows the lowering of the portcullis, as the golems are made out of now-rotting gingerbread, which is crumbling under the strain. BMW attempts to all-terrain traction up the wall but fails, and Rude Dolph uses his hero power to find an alternate entrance and then gets into a fight with the MMA elf guarding it. The rabbit digs under the portcullis and bunny-kicks the elf lowering the portcullis, letting everyone else in, while Rude Dolph eventually skewers the elf on his horns after two rounds of them both missing every attack. While Rude Dolph was fighting, Faust did his best to mutate him into a beefier reindeer abomination, raising his Constitution from 5 to 8.

Once inside the compound, BMW broke off a giant candycane and speared an elf spetsnatz with it, and the Rabbit caused chaos by bouncing around the crowd of panicked elves shouting "I'M LATE! I'M LATE!" and swinging a pocketwatch around like a flail. Barry summoning a lump of coal and attempted to turn it into a grenade, but settled for lighting it on fire and throwing it at the other special ops elf, who was then people's elbow'd by BMW after he "ran over" the crowd of elves. After Barry and Faust's ritual to teleport straight to Santa failed, the party made their way into Santa's workshop and began causing chaos there (the Delivery Depot and Elf Quarters were saved for later). BMW threw one of the whip-wielding overseers into a rocking horse carving machine, the Rabbit bounced around and got whipped in the face by a cat-o'-nine-tails, Faust gave one overseer horrible intestinal cancer that he would die of in 20 years time, and Barry killed and raised a large group of elven workers to fight the giant wooden toy soldiers who were guarding the workshop. Rude Dolph splintered half of the soldiers - first by goring them, then by climbing to the rafters and jumping on their heads - and the rest were destroyed whenever Barry used his "Toy" Making skills to reveal he had raised the elves as biological grenades! BMW meanwhile interrupted an overseer's phone call for help by burying him under a giant stuffed teddy bear.

Breaking down the barred door to Santa's Ice Castle, the party then split up. After pissing on a portrait of Santa and Bluedolph, his replacement, Rude Dolph and BMW went to the Reindeer Stables to free the poor enslaved workers. Pushing open Bluedolph the blue-nosed reindeer's door, Dolph found him sleeping in a bed.. with Blitzen! Enraged in fury, Rudolph missed his initial gore, but managed to knock the usurper out with a punch. Tearful but resolved, he then ripped off Bluedolph's antlers and stabbed him and Blitzen to death with them. Gathering himself up he then knocks on Comet's door, and attempts to use his reindeer wiles to convince her to be his new squeeze, but he is rejected and shanked instead, as Comet wants to bring an end to this male-dominated profession. Rudolph is saved from bleeding out by BMW, who turns Comet into roadkill with RAMMING SPEED. Knocking on Vixen's door, Rudolph's wiles finally pay off, and he is bandaged up from his 1 HP state.

Faust meanwhile, uses his hero power to summon Yog-Sothoth onto the Santa's plush throne, causing an oily corruption to start seeping through the ice of the castle. Barry and the Rabbit head to Santa's house, a charming little wood shack inside the cavernous ice castle. Rabbit knocks on the door, shouts "I'M LATE" at Santa, misses him with the pocketwatch flail, but bounds inside the house anyway. Barry uses this as a distraction to sneak up to Santa, throw back the hood he donned specifically for this, and announce "IT'S ME... FATHER!" Then while Santa is confused, as Barry is most definitely not his son, Barry guts him with a sword, "And that's for the horrible working conditions". Barry is then seared by a fireball from Mrs Claus, who reveals herself as a powerful sorceress, the true power behind the Christmas throne! She is then summarily KO'd by the Rabbit's bunny kick halfway through her villain monologue. Barry and the Rabbit tie her up in the house, raise Santa as a horrific zombie, and begin dousing the place in petrol.

With only his own quest left to fulfil, BMW heads to the Delivery Depot to wreck Santa's Sleigh, and prove once and for all that jeeps are the superior vehicle for delivering presents. He is somewhat set back by the scale of the sleigh, which is the size of a small house. Undeterred, he uses another RAMMING SPEED, but the Sleigh resists and pushes back against him. It mocks him, the voice of centuries of christmas deliveries echoing into his chassis, and the gargantuan mass of sleigh slowly crumpling his front bumper. "Who do you think you are, to challenge me?" "BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP". The corruption of Yog-Sothoth brings even more danger, as the sleigh's reins become tentacles that wrench at BMW's wheels, and a giant malignant face forms on the front of the sleigh.
It is now that Baz Merryweather Williams reveals the other half of his parentage. He is half-jeep, half-nuke. He hands me his character sheet as he immolates in a thermonuclear explosion, vaporising a third of the Christmas Complex, and utterly destroying Santa's Sleigh.

The rest of the party are not witness to this sacrifice, but they see the results. They finish dousing the house, the castle, the workshop, the Elf quarters, and any elves still around in petrol. Before they light it, Faust von Rumplestein burns his remaining three hero dice and rolls a nat 20 to rip open a hole to his eldritch gods, just to gently caress over the entire place forever. Sensing an opportunity, Barry Skeletman gazes into the portral, and uses his hero power of HAIL SANTA to force the eldritch gods to hail Santa for 1 round, which is him since he killed Santa and that's how these things work right, the Santa Clause? Made ascendant by the worship of eldritch gods beyond the ken of time and space, Barry becomes the new God of Christmas Abominations and Santa. The White Rabbit realises that this is the event she was late for, the ascension of a new god, and that she didn't miss it! Her job done, she lights the complex on fire and skips off to the next tea party. "Rude Dolph" Lewd Grin meanwhile walks off into the snowy night, the remaining reindeer following him as their once and future leader, and his new squeeze Vixen on his arm.

With Santa dead/replaced, and Christmas thoroughly ruined forever, we called the game there so we could all go home or go to sleep.

# ? Dec 21, 2015 03:21

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

Ambi posted:

It is now that Baz Merryweather Williams reveals the other half of his parentage. He is half-jeep, half-nuke. He hands me his character sheet as he immolates in a thermonuclear explosion, vaporising a third of the Christmas Complex, and utterly destroying Santa's Sleigh.

I am blown away by this reveal. :v:

# ? Dec 21, 2015 04:15

nimby: Nov 4, 2009; The pinnacle of cloud computing.

Finally a use for Fallout cars.

# ? Dec 21, 2015 10:16

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

I play pretty serious games with character advancement and development and ongoing recurring villains and cool epic story arcs.

But now I feel I have missed out because I have never been in the same room with, let alone played, a character that was half nuclear weapon.

# ? Dec 21, 2015 18:06

Kaza42: Oct 3, 2013; Blood and Souls and all that

Ambi posted:

"Who do you think you are, to challenge me?" "BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP".

Okay, this is one of my favorite moments in any of the stories here. I keep chuckling at random moments now

# ? Dec 21, 2015 20:07

bawk: Mar 31, 2013

The eldritch God Ascension is the cleverest use of a power I have ever read in my entire life and I'm so glad it happened.

# ? Dec 22, 2015 05:45

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Well I was going to talk about how my latest adventures ended in my character carrying a decapitated tiger out of a Brothel in broad daylight but I see this thread has me beat.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 16:35

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

I'm imagining a pack of teenagers, psyching themselves up to enter Ye Olde Porkies, spotting a hero attempting to nonchalantly walk out with a dead tiger slung over one shoulder.

They hesitate.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 16:52

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Manic_Misanthrope posted:

Well I was going to talk about how my latest adventures ended in my character carrying a decapitated tiger out of a Brothel in broad daylight but I see this thread has me beat.

I can't imagine how that wouldn't be worth reading.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 17:58

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Yawgmoth posted:

I can't imagine how that wouldn't be worth reading.

Seconded.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 18:00

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

I think that if the day comes and a new thread needs made, the OP should just be a giant :justpost:

# ? Dec 27, 2015 19:00

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Yawgmoth posted:

I can't imagine how that wouldn't be worth reading.

It's probably the most interesting part.
So the current party is:

An Elf Rogue who never quite gets the concept of shutting up
A Dragonborn Paladin who was currently unavailable so had to be DMPC'd
A Gnome Wizard by the nickname "Badger" who has a habit of turning people's clothes bright pink as a show of friendship
A Human Cleric of Peace who attempts to flirt with every female PC and NPC and always strikes out because of his awful puns.
And me, the Half-Orc Barbarian, the only female character in the party (made before the rest of the group made it all a sausage fest)

As everyone is a different race, we often end up calling each other "The Gnome," "The Elf" coupled with various insults to the point where we now have to roll a d20 if one of us makes a statement that could be described as discriminatory. "Roll for Racism" has become a common gag, and the GM isn't telling us what the results are leading to.

But the Tigers. Our Rogue spent half a night looking for the local thieves guild, but came up short of fully contacting them. This lead to us the next day discussing the Theives Guild's existance, in the middle of a busy market. We get sleeping smoke bombed (I make the saving throw but go along anyway on the condition I wasn't carrying them, so blindfolded walk down to the unknown location yaaaay) and wake up in an arena fight vs two Tigers as a test of our skills before the leader of the guild will help us. One quick battle later and we have two very dead Tigers. One was burnt beyond all regocnition but the other was merely decapitated with a greataxe, so as we get lead out our Cleric thinks that since Tigers are certainly not native that their pelts might fetch a decent price. So I carry the Tiger corpse on my shoulder out into a teleportation circle which is the only way out of the hideout, or at least the only way that they're letting us use.

Said circle dumps us off at a nearby brothel, so out we come: 4 guys of various races and a woman holding a Decapitated Tiger over her shoulder leaving a brothel during the middle of the day. End Session.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 19:30

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

I'm in a D&D 5e game that my friend is running; he wanted to run a game to introduce his son to his favorite hobby. Said son is 10, and he's awesome. He's also on the autism spectrum and has a hard time focusing, which is occasionally troublesome, but by and large he's a good kid and we're all making allowances.

He's playing an elven ranger; the big story of the game is that a Dracolich has conquered the Elven Homeland, and the elves-in-exile have sent the party to reconnoiter in preparation for trying to reclaim their home. We've found a small village that has become, essentially, our base of operations; we sent a message to the elves and they dispatched a Druid and her bodyguard to assist the village. The Druid, it turns out, is the ranger's betrothed; their parents arranged a marriage when they were both young. She is not particularly enthusiastic about this.

Anyways, while the druid arrived, we'd been on our way back from finding a way to remove the curse of lycanthropy from some people we'd sort of accidentally let get infected; on the way the DM decided to finally give the kid the chance to train an animal companion like he'd been asking for for a couple of months, and he found a badger that he promptly trained and used Animal Friendship on and such. So now he had a pet badger. And he walks in to the village's main hall, where the druid is standing there and talking to the village headsman - and promptly walks past his fiancee to tell the bodyguard, "Hey, wanna see my badger?"

# ? Dec 27, 2015 21:00

JustJeff88: Jan 15, 2008; I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE

THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

of SA-Mart forever

Manic_Misanthrope posted:

A Human Cleric of Peace who attempts to flirt with every female PC and NPC and always strikes out because of his awful puns.

I would love to see a deity of Bad Puns and/or Striking Out with the Ladies. Being unparalleled at both of those things, I would be his/her (her would be funnier) high priest in about three minutes.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

"Hey, wanna see my badger?"

Now there's a great pickup line.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 21:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2024 20:14

Bieeanshee: Aug 21, 2000; Not keen on keening.; Grimey Drawer

JustJeff88 posted:

I would love to see a deity of Bad Puns and/or Striking Out with the Ladies. Being unparalleled at both of those things, I would be his/her (her would be funnier) high priest in about three minutes.

"And yea, verily, I say unto thee, She understandeth us."

"And I say yea, knoweth that even after we have been entered unto Her eternal monarchy, we shall remain, as always, the most Just of Friends."

# ? Dec 27, 2015 21:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Notable Gaming Experiences: The Gospel According to CobiWann's DM

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