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There are less erotic words than "knickers," but not many. quote:All the people of Bear City at least while they were in the city wore only the scantiest of clothing; small shorts, mini skirts and leggings. Wait, does that mean Aristotle was wearing that too? My favorite part is that there are more words devoted to the fact that her underwear is biodegradable than to the actual sex.
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Dec 12, 2015 13:00
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Thinky Whale posted:There are less erotic words than "knickers," but not many. For the very best in British sex-related slang, I always come back to this: http://www.b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/post730459 It is an utter masterpiece, and obviously  as all hell.
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Dec 12, 2015 13:23
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Samfucius posted:There are also some synopses of other books from the same publisher: I thought that particular style of inept typography and graphic design was familiar. I have read The Last Days Of Christ The Vampire! I had an old girlfriend who collected every vampire novel she could find, of any to zero literary quality (which is how I read the Wraeththu books) and she had this one. She correctly described it as one of the worst things she had ever read. If I recall correctly there's arguments with anarchists and Stalinists and eventually SPOILERS the protagonist finds Christ alive in a sub-basement of the Pentagon sustaining the whole edifice of imperialist capitalism. I might be misremembering, this was fifteen years ago, but I never plan to go check. I will say it was much better-written and proofread than the excerpt from the book you had. The author was also one of the contributors to Factsheet Five in its last year of steady operation.
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Dec 12, 2015 14:33
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Oddly enough the whole "down in a mine for hundreds of years" thing was the original origin for Buck Rogers.
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Dec 12, 2015 16:08
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Thinky Whale posted:There are less erotic words than "knickers," but not many.
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Dec 12, 2015 18:29
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Thinky Whale posted:My favorite part is that there are more words devoted to the fact that her underwear is biodegradable than to the actual sex. There's just so much leadup to it, and then "We hosed until it was quite dark outside." If the rest of the book were better I might think it was a conscious choice for humor.
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Dec 12, 2015 21:15
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Samfucius posted:There's just so much leadup to it, and then "We hosed until it was quite dark outside." He should've bookended it with a description of the dusk. It was quite dark, really. Like a forest pond in the shade of a looming oak. Around it, reeds and ...
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Dec 12, 2015 21:28
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Samfucius posted:
What I really want to know is, where was Diogenes during all this? You'd think a guy who eschewed property and spit in the face of social norms would be the perfect character for a screed about anarchism that uses Greek philosophers as mouthpieces.
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Dec 12, 2015 21:51
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GottaPayDaTrollToll posted:What I really want to know is, where was Diogenes during all this? You'd think a guy who eschewed property and spit in the face of social norms would be the perfect character for a screed about anarchism that uses Greek philosophers as mouthpieces. I'd put money on the name Aristotle, and possibly Plato, being the full extent of the author's knowledge of Greek philosophy.
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Dec 12, 2015 21:55
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My other favorite part is the super self-indulgent "Available at bookstores not run by zombies." 
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Dec 12, 2015 23:24
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Snapchat A Titty posted:I'd put money on the name Aristotle, and possibly Plato, being the full extent of the author's knowledge of Greek philosophy. Bingo. Absolutely nowhere does the author make any attempt to tie the anarchist stuff into any actual Greek philosophy. He just picked a name people would respect and ran with it.
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Dec 12, 2015 23:25
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GottaPayDaTrollToll posted:What I really want to know is, where was Diogenes during all this? You'd think a guy who eschewed property and spit in the face of social norms would be the perfect character for a screed about anarchism that uses Greek philosophers as mouthpieces. gently caress even Epicurus (communal living, equality of the sexes, shared pleasures) would fit the role better than loving Aristotle. I suppose that the author didn't read book ten of the Politics and Aristotle's justification for natural slavery. Shame that Hegesias of Cyrene's book Death by Starvation never survived. Cicero mentions it in a letter, it was a philosophical tract that hung around a dialogue between a man who is resolved to die by starvation and his friends; the man convinces them over the course of the dialogue that death is preferable to living because misery and pain is unavoidable. Apparently its depictions of human suffering were so overpowering that numerous people killed themselves after reading it. The Cyrenaics were an interesting school, extreme hedonists. My submission for terrible book: I, Che Guevara: A Novel. Che Guevara wasn't killed in Bolivia but returns to Cuba when Castro signs a deal with the U.S. allowing for free elections in exchange for the lifting of embargoes. Guevara runs as a libertarian (essentially) with an anti-communist and anti-capitalist platform telling people to rule themselves, the U.S. government freaks the gently caress out but Che wins in the end. I got it as a Christmas present one year from a somewhat clueless aunt who thought it would interest me because of my politics. It's wholly awful, also apparently it was written, under pseudonym, by someone in the U.S. intelligence community, so that explains its hosed up politics. As for the prose, I can only describe it as sub Tom Clancy.
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Dec 13, 2015 00:06
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Hellequin posted:Shame that Hegesias of Cyrene's book Death by Starvation never survived. Cicero mentions it in a letter, it was a philosophical tract that hung around a dialogue between a man who is resolved to die by starvation and his friends; the man convinces them over the course of the dialogue that death is preferable to living because misery and pain is unavoidable. Apparently its depictions of human suffering were so overpowering that numerous people killed themselves after reading it. The Cyrenaics were an interesting school, extreme hedonists. Wow it's like some kind of mashup between Goethe's Werther and BLIT. An idea or argument so persuasive, you have to follow it and kill yourself. See also Max Barry: Lexicon which is very entertaining. Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 01:03 on Dec 13, 2015 |
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Dec 13, 2015 01:00
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King Doom posted:What is it about Sci-Fi that makes authors loose their minds? I picked up a book awhile back - Hunting Party by Elizabeth Moon. I think it ultimately boils down to the fact that in the end, all writing is essentially a glorified form of masturbation. Some people are just worse at disguising that fact than others.
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Dec 17, 2015 00:20
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Cornwind Evil posted:I think it ultimately boils down to the fact that in the end, all writing is essentially a glorified form of masturbation. Some people are just worse at disguising that fact than others.
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Dec 17, 2015 00:50
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Dec 23, 2015 07:41
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Hellequin posted:My submission for terrible book: I, Che Guevara: A Novel. Che Guevara wasn't killed in Bolivia but returns to Cuba when Castro signs a deal with the U.S. allowing for free elections in exchange for the lifting of embargoes. Guevara runs as a libertarian (essentially) with an anti-communist and anti-capitalist platform telling people to rule themselves, the U.S. government freaks the gently caress out but Che wins in the end. I got it as a Christmas present one year from a somewhat clueless aunt who thought it would interest me because of my politics. It's wholly awful, also apparently it was written, under pseudonym, by someone in the U.S. intelligence community, so that explains its hosed up politics. As for the prose, I can only describe it as sub Tom Clancy. By an astonishing coincidence, I just read who made that novel about an hour before I read your post. It was Gary Hart, former Senator for Colorado, writing under the pseudonym of John Blackthorn.
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Dec 23, 2015 12:54
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Was this the YA cringefest of male protag is bullied for liking ponies (that he only got into because little sister watches it) but gets a girlfriend in the end because she's an uber-fan who appreciates his ~*~sensitivity~*~? I am basing this on the cover alone. When I think of terrible books I will always think of Dresden Files. There are certainly a lot more terrible books out there, but no other book in recent memory made me want to toss it into a wall after the first few chapters (and I only refrained from doing so because it belonged to a friend). All the "but the writing gets better" or "Harry is supposed to be chauvinist" or "but animated fossil T-Rex" excuses in the world a good series make, and my understanding is there's really no character development, either. No wonder a bunch of goons swear by them.
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Dec 23, 2015 15:56
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Every once in a while I consider writing romance-parody novels, but then I see some of the stuff that's out there and wonder if even half the readers would understand it's a joke. (Managed to piss off an entire online community of self-published writers for daring to imply that, regardless of actual content, romance novels are seen as low quality erotica by many people) For content, Xenocide by OSC has been mentioned before...multiple times...but it bears repeating. I won't defend Ender's Game as some sort of masterpiece, but it was at least fun and a little escapist for an awkward dork in advanced courses in high school (realizing years later that it's problematic to continue to identify with Ender). But you can only take so many passages of a character literally following cracks in a floorboard before you have to give up on a book.
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Dec 23, 2015 23:05
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So the guy behind the infamous Wild Animus (which holds the distinction of "the only book everyone in jail started but nobody finished") has written more! Another fully interactive experience complete with app! http://www.thehopeweseek.com ... How long until he goes bankrupt thanks to trying to live his dream?
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Dec 25, 2015 18:16
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AA is for Quitters posted:So the guy behind the infamous Wild Animus (which holds the distinction of "the only book everyone in jail started but nobody finished") has written more! Another fully interactive experience complete with app! Holy poo poo, this is the same guy?! My university's theatre and film dept had a HUGE box full of copies of this book and accompanying CD!
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Dec 27, 2015 12:42
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Sic Semper Goon posted:By an astonishing coincidence, I just read who made that novel about an hour before I read your post. He was one of the "Atari Democrats", this explains so much.
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Dec 27, 2015 16:43
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AA is for Quitters posted:So the guy behind the infamous Wild Animus (which holds the distinction of "the only book everyone in jail started but nobody finished") has written more! Another fully interactive experience complete with app! I got a copy of this when I went to a music festival and someone was handing them out. By far the most prominently discarded thing - they weren't trash so nobody wanted to just throw them away, so you would find several copies sitting on fence posts or floating around in the mud
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Dec 27, 2015 19:33
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https://gumroad.com/l/GirlCorrupted posted:A Girl Corrupted by the Internet is the Summoned Hero?!  quote:Table of Contents quote:Foreword
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Jan 31, 2016 03:13
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aka Pounded In The Butt By My Own Girl with Red Tidday Up and White Tidday Down Corrupted by the Internet who is the Summoned Hero?! by Roko's Tingliskthis is an underage girl who is supposedly saying this posted:Though I am a little worried. I’ve never gone more than a day or two without giving myself release. Even when I tried to deny myself for perverted reasons, my willpower failed. I hope that I can clear up this Wicked Emperor matter in a month, and not go insane with repressed desires before then.
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Jan 31, 2016 03:28
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ugh ugh get it away
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Jan 31, 2016 06:17
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Yudkowsky is living, breathing proof of why we need bullies in our schools. On an unrelated note I bought a copy of Seven Deadly Wonders for a dollar and gave it to my fiancé. I am excited to hear her thoughts on Grizzled Badass McRobotarm's adventures with Awesome Pet Hawk and Precocious Magic Girl.
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Feb 2, 2016 00:31
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red tidday UP white tidday DOWN review: i have read it. (did not pay for it.) * it is self consciously a pastiche of a trash genre, and that's fine y'know. it has no pretensions to quality * i observably have no literary standards and read worse fanfic * as a story it's reasonably constructed * (the intro is fatuous) * contains no actual porn * i laughed out loud once * will probably not read it a second time * is not worth 99c * but is not actually an offence against all human dignity * just some of it
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Feb 29, 2016 20:12
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I'm going gonna hunt through 25 pages just to see if someone else posted this obscure piece of poo poo, but a buddy of mine had this sitting on his toilet tank for the longest time(I assume to baffle his houseguests).quote:"This Book is based on the turning point for Earth into a new era of space travel and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. The story focuses on one Man by the Name of David Braymer and his adventures from High school teacher to 1st Science Officer on board the Lunar Base 1 Mobile Base Station and his encounters with Alien Life forms through out our universe and the space Battle of all battles David experiences. I hope you enjoy the many adventures of David Braymer and his conquest in space and our journey into the Age of Aquarius." It was really, really bad. http://www.amazon.com/Moon-People-Dale-M-Courtney/dp/1436372135
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Feb 29, 2016 20:15
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I dunno if I'm the odd one out here, but I watched the first six episodes of The Magicians on SyFy, then picked up the ebook - the book seems so incredibly slow and dull compared to the show. It's one of those books that's described as "sublime" in reviews but I just couldn't get into it. The show took some serious creative liberties to the point it's barely even the same story, but I feel like the show version would have made a much better book. Maybe I'm just jaded on urban fantasy at this point.
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Feb 29, 2016 20:30
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Once you get through the school stuff (which is only a part of the first book) the pace picks up quite a bit.
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Feb 29, 2016 20:36
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Speaking of The Magicians, there's a part in the book where their teacher turns the students into weird ferret creatures and has them gently caress each other. The purpose of which is to make them feel so awkward around one another that they devote themselves entirely to their studies. Really I hated the whole aspect of a bunch of pretentious nerds doing horrible things to one another . I get that it's the point, but it doesn't mean that it's particularly engaging to me.
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Feb 29, 2016 22:06
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Is that not also the bog-standard "fantasy author bends story to include his hosed-up fetish" thing, or does it not scan that way?
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Feb 29, 2016 22:45
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Whiz Palace posted:Is that not also the bog-standard "fantasy author bends story to include his hosed-up fetish" thing, or does it not scan that way? I'm more surprised by sci-fi that doesn't overload on the fetish stuff then not at this point. James Corey. You are incredibly not creepy and that makes you special in a field of creeps. 
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Feb 29, 2016 23:28
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I'd like to nominate the works of T.L. Winslow (TLW), "the World's Greatest Genius" (tm), which he has been kind enough to host and share freely with the rest of us. I especially recommend "Isn't Jack In Jail? Heavy Lesbianism". It's written from the perspective of a 25th century woman trying to explain to a cryogenically frozen 21st century woman how men were made extinct in a 500 year campaign of lesbian supremacy, jumping around from century to century with no real overarching plot. It's as bizarre, conspiratorial, and pornographic as you'd expect (if not more so) and one of the longer substories is called "Space Cunnilingus". It's hard to really get across how strange it is without doing a full Let's Read, but here are a couple choice lines:quote:The project is the creation of larger and larger orbiting racemix colonies, to lead eventually to whole orbiting cities of racemix dickless citizens. quote:This was a dick evacuation. We were witnessing the quiet exit of the last dicks from our island.
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Feb 29, 2016 23:37
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Klaus88 posted:I'm more surprised by sci-fi that doesn't overload on the fetish stuff then not at this point. It probably helps that James Corey is a pen name used for the collaboration of two authors. Like a fetish check-and-balance system.
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Feb 29, 2016 23:40
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There's a book I once "read"(previewed on Amazon, so it's an Amazon book) a long while ago, about some space adventurer or whatever. While that may not be the most descriptive summary about the book, the important part is how the story was written. It's very...simplistic. The sentences are very short, lack flavor, and feel like they were written by someone without the ability to put real emotion in their lines. An example passage might be something like: "Franklin was an astronaut. He worked in a space ship. He was station in Space Station 5..." It's not as if it seemed the author was an ESL, but it still read really weird, which added to the humor of what seemed like it was supposed to be a serious scifi book. e: Those loving chapter names. If you're going to make loving chapter names like that, stick with it until the end! Don't just half rear end and go from "Do you really think you can?!" to "The meaning of probability is—". And stick with one version of interrobang man Postal Parcel has a new favorite as of 00:21 on Mar 1, 2016 |
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Mar 1, 2016 00:18
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TheKennedys posted:I dunno if I'm the odd one out here, but I watched the first six episodes of The Magicians on SyFy, then picked up the ebook - the book seems so incredibly slow and dull compared to the show. It's one of those books that's described as "sublime" in reviews but I just couldn't get into it. The show took some serious creative liberties to the point it's barely even the same story, but I feel like the show version would have made a much better book. Maybe I'm just jaded on urban fantasy at this point. I thought the setting and magic was interesting in the book for a while, and that carried it longer than it should have. I don't really like "lovely people do lovely things" stories, but it felt like almost a satire on Harry Potter and monomyth stories where the main character realizes he's not that special and he fucks up his life and relationships with his own inferiority complex. That seemed interesting, until I started to get the feeling Lev Grossman was as petty and vindictive as his characters. Then the end fucks up any point the book may have had by having a bunch of forgotten characters show up out of nowhere to tell the main character, who has earned nothing and deserves nothing, that he actually is amazing and needs to come be a badass magical king with them. I honestly expected it to be a loving dream sequence, it felt so hollow and tacked on just to open up for sequels.
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Mar 1, 2016 04:25
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Whiz Palace posted:Is that not also the bog-standard "fantasy author bends story to include his hosed-up fetish" thing, or does it not scan that way? its supremely not sexy at all
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Mar 1, 2016 04:48
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On vacation, I picked up a copy of Untold Story by Monica Ali. I am grateful that it was picked from a free book bin. Here is the plot: Princess Diana faked her own death by jumping off her rich boyfriend's yacht while he was sleeping and swimming to meet her old personal assistant, who helped her emigrate to America. (The car crash that actually killed Princess Diana is referenced, but it wasn't fatal in the book.) The she starts a new life in a small town and works at a dog shelter. Holy poo poo, what a stupid loving book. It was so stupid I gave it to my parents and they both read it because they also found it stupid. It was amazing.
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Mar 1, 2016 07:25
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