|
"You are fat." 
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 06:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 17, 2024 02:22 |
|
|
A lot of young kids seem to use fat to mean tall. I mean, I'm not exactly skinny, but I've heard godfather's youngest call a number of six footers fat, even if their proportions were nearly anorexic.
Mind Loving Owl has a new favorite as of 07:13 on Dec 19, 2015 |
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 07:07
|
|
|
I think it's more "wider than me=fat" and they often don't realize yet how much feelings can be hurt by words.
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 07:12
|
|
|
Slight background, my dad has a fairly long beard that is mostly grey/white, and his coat is red and this year he bought a Santa hat to wear for winter, so of course guess who all children think he is. So the other night we were out for pizza and while we were eating this lady walked by with two little girls I'm guessing around 5 or 6, and they were just staring at my dad. The mom said to us, "They're pretty sure this is really happening." So my dad said hi to them and they giggled and ran off to their table. We went back to eating and pretending we notice them staring, until they came back by and asked if they could tell "Santa" what they wanted for Christmas. The first girl asked for a Barbie, the second screwed up her courage to ask Santa to bring her "a kitchen from Costco" it was adorable.
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 10:02
|
|
|
Right this second im in the movie theatre bathroom with my five year old. The guy on the stall next to us has very loud gas and my son is losing his goddamn mind laughing like crazy. Every time the guy farts he goes into another bout of laughter.
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 16:31
|
|
|
Choco1980 posted:I think it's more "wider than me=fat" and they often don't realize yet how much feelings can be hurt by words. Years ago, I went away for a long weekend with some friends of mine and one of them brought his two children. His eldest, Rhiannon, was about 4 or 5 and the loving living embodiment of this. I was a teenager and I always wore quite a lot of make up, often favouring bright colours or glitters. The first morning we had there, she came right up to me, looked at my make-up free face for the very first time and asked: "Bad Roy, why aren't you pretty today?"
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 17:00
|
|
|
Shayu posted:"You are fat." The other day one of the 3-year-olds I work with was sat next to me and started sniffing the air dramatically, I asked her what was up and she said, "I can smell something. Something smelly. It's you."
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 17:59
|
|
|
eating only apples posted:"I can smell something. Something smelly. It's you." Ha, the same time happened to me, also with a 3 year old. Kid was sitting next to me when she sniffed my side and went "Miss (mania), you very smelly. Why you never shower today?"
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2015 19:10
|
|
|
HellCopter posted:"Let the children name the dog" When I was little we had a cat named Truck Driver, thanks to my older sister. She was the fattest, hairiest, orneriest cat ever. Personally, I named every single pet I had 'Jessica', including my rabbit. My favorite movie at the time was Who Framed Roger Rabbit  My youngest stepbrother, at age 5, decided to give new names to everyone in the family... I had them all written down at one point, but I only remember a couple now: I was FenceWood Lightning, his oldest sister was LeafThat'sOnFire Butterfly.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 02:51
|
|
|
HellCopter posted:"Let the children name the dog" is why I had a poodle for 10 years named Mini-me. The corollary is letting the adults name the pets: "the big one", "the small one", and "the old one"
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 03:06
|
|
|
Snapchat A Titty posted:The corollary is letting the adults name the pets: "the big one", "the small one", and "the old one" It's true. I don't have kids and my pets are the blue dog, the spotted dog, the black one, and fatass. They all have real names that are rarely used.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 04:07
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:It's true. I don't have kids and my pets are the blue dog, the spotted dog, the black one, and fatass. They all have real names that are rarely used. Somehow my cousin's cat went from Tigger to Cathead over the years.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 19:07
|
|
|
Astrofig posted:Somehow my cousin's cat went from Tigger to Cathead over the years. My cousins' went from Marty to Gumball to lovely.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:38
|
|
|
A 4yo neighbor kid taught me how to drink yesterday while we were kid-sitting: - When you "drink like a ball", you fill your mouth up, and then gulp it all down. The more gulps it takes to empty your mouth, the better. - When you "drink like a string", you gulp down the liquid as you're pouring more in. According to the child, you're "being rude" if you think milk like a string, or of you drink water like a ball. Orange juice has to be drank like a ball.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 09:53
|
|
|
A Kindergarten wrote a cookbook that reminded me of this thread: http://imgur.com/a/tAwPp These are my favorites.  
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 22:56
|
|
|
You can tell which kid got help from their dad.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 23:43
|
|
|
When I was in Kindergarten we did that. I tried really hard to say what my grandma did to bake cookies, but I totally mixed up ingredients. Like I thought the vanilla extract she would use was vinegar...that uh, would not have been so good. You could tell which kid lived on a farm because his chicken soup recipe started out with you grabbing a chicken from your coop, killing it, plucking it, then chopping it up. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2015 00:41
|
|
|
I love the pizza recipe: just get it from some guy and cook it 2 or 4 hours.
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2015 07:08
|
|
|
Choco1980 posted:You could tell which kid lived on a farm because his chicken soup recipe started out with you grabbing a chicken from your coop, killing it, plucking it, then chopping it up. In my experience, the children of farmers are always weirdly pragmatic in outlook.
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2015 08:15
|
|
|
My niece got an ipad for christmas this year and my sister had the foresight to set it up first so when turned on, it was unlocked and my niece blurts out "ipad! It's even unlocked!" in the most excited voice 
|
|
#
?
Dec 25, 2015 06:38
|
|
|
I'm 5'0'', 105 lbs, and 26 years old. I had a group of my boyfriends younger relatives (8 yrs and younger) surround me tonight and demand to know if I was "fully grown." When I said that I was, a few of them got the most astounded look on their faces while another (age 6) mused loudly that "maybe her heart's messed up and it makes her small".
|
|
#
?
Dec 25, 2015 06:56
|
|
|
My son doesn't know how to speak yet, but somehow was able to yell "MY BUTT!" When I was play spanking and tickling him.
|
|
#
?
Dec 25, 2015 10:40
|
|
|
Not a thing said, but my 5 year old nephew's favorite gift by far today was a bottle of Coke with his name on it. Everything else he did his usual "It's a ___!" or "Just what I wanted!" before moving on to the next thing, but when he pulled the Coke bottle out of his stocking he got up and hugged his grandmother.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 05:01
|
|
|
Do teenagers count? ME: "Hi, Student, I like your shirt." STUDENT:  "I LIKE YOUR BOOBS!!!!!" ME: 
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 06:27
|
|
|
My parents have a nativity scene on a table at their house for Christmas. Tonight my dad asked my four year old niece if she knew the name of the little baby. She said "Massachusetts" I think she has some wires crossed.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 07:31
|
|
|
I couldn't be with extended family this year, so we "adopted" animals from WWF for my nieces and nephews. They got a stuffed animal, and information about the animals. My 8 year old niece was concerned about when her actual sea turtle would be arriving and where they would keep it. And my 10 year old nephew wanted to plan a trip to visit his tiger. They also told me that they ate 100 cookies each, but only so they wouldn't hurt Grandmas feelings. And the 8 year old told me she knows that Santa isn't real, but not to tell her brothers because they still believe. They have been trying to convince her that Santa is real to keep the magic alive or something, and she's interpreted that as them still believing. It's cute.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 13:26
|
|
|
We got my nephews (2, 6 and 8) an inflatable punching bag that has a Chicago Blackhawks guy on it. They got a lot of other super fancy presents, but they really enjoyed taking turns beating the poo poo out of the punching bag. Also they all opened presents and ate dinner shirtless.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
I participated in a secret Santa this year, and we had wish lists to go along with our names in the drawing. I just put for mine "the power to decide who lives and who dies" because nobody's taking this poo poo seriously and whatever junk I get I'll just end up throwing out anyway. I got my present yesterday, it was a donation in my name to doctors without borders and a handwritten note saying that this would at least empower somebody qualified to make those decisions. It was his kid's idea. Dude won secret Santa.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 16:32
|
|
|
The boyfriend and I went out for breakfast on Christmas Eve, and sitting near us were a couple with their daughter, maybe 4 years old. As they're ordering, the girl is chanting "butter butter butter butter." I look over maybe ten minutes later and she's got one of the little butter things from the table and is eating it, looking happy as a clam.
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 19:37
|
|
|
My 2 1/2yr old daughter has discovered that if she starts to song a particular song my wife and I seem to have trouble continuing to talk. That song is of course "Willy Willy Willy, Willy Willy Willy, Willy Willy Willy!"
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 23:14
|
|
|
My four-year-old cousin received a little-kid smartwatch for Christmas and asked if he could take a picture of two of my aunts with it. One aunt asked if they should say "cheese!" while he took the picture, ad he insistently replied, "NO! THIS KIND OF CAMERA DOESN'T LET YOU SAY WORDS!!"
|
|
#
?
Dec 26, 2015 23:38
|
|
|
Im spending xmas with my kids over at my brothers house. Between us, we have 4 kids ages 3-6. After stockings, but before presents my nephew (6) says to me: "Uncle Bob, what if Santa isnt real and its just grown ups putting our presents under the tree and thats why we have to go to bed early?" "Michael," I say, "that's ridiculous."
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 03:01
|
|
|
omnibobb posted:After stockings, but before presents What's "stockings"?
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 04:31
|
|
|
RandomFerret posted:I participated in a secret Santa this year, and we had wish lists to go along with our names in the drawing. I just put for mine "the power to decide who lives and who dies" because nobody's taking this poo poo seriously and whatever junk I get I'll just end up throwing out anyway. This is amazing!
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 04:46
|
|
|
RandomFerret posted:I participated in a secret Santa this year, and we had wish lists to go along with our names in the drawing. I just put for mine "the power to decide who lives and who dies" because nobody's taking this poo poo seriously and whatever junk I get I'll just end up throwing out anyway.  I live with a roommate with a 7 year old. We went out to her parent's place for Christmas dinner. Her kid looked at potatoes and decided he didn't want to eat them, and came up with an almost clever excuse of "Mommy, these came out of the ground. I don't want to eat things that were on the ground." The little poo poo, if I tried that I'd probably have gone without eating.
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 04:57
|
|
|
Tiggum posted:What's "stockings"? In some places/families the tradition is you put up stocking over the fireplace and Santa brings you little gifts like chocolate/small gifts and sweets kind of stuff. These days, since fireplaces aren't such a big thing, they go at the end of your bed, or somewhere. "Stockings" are the small presents, that come before the "main" presents. They go in the stocking (maybe I should clarify? Stockings are like socks, they go on your feet) and they're the first thing you encounter, gift wise, on Christmas Day. In my family, the tradition was that anything in the Stockings were directly from Santa, all the gifts under the tree were from friends/relatives, because while the stocking stuff was cheap, the "real" presents were from a real person who had put thought and spent a decent amount of money on them, and therefore deserved credit and a thank you. I don't know how other families do it, but with us, stockings generally had chocolates, maybe some colouring books and/or coloured pencils/crayons, underwear, really cheap toys, playing cards, tat sort of stuff. Also it's wort mentioning that our stockings were less "clothing to keep your feet warm" and more "big loving sack".
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 05:19
|
|
|
Always had a clementine orange, a pencil or pen, and Chapstick.
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 05:27
|
|
|
Subjunctive posted:Always had a clementine orange, a pencil or pen, and Chapstick. Yeah, we always got toothbrushes, a scratch game, one of those small Russell Stover chocolate boxes, and a clementine for good luck!
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 06:05
|
|
|
Our family has a traditional Christmas Eve lunch at a fancy restaurant. This year, they put out little LED candles instead of real ones, and naturally the younger cousins were playing with them. My mom and I were sitting by the oldest of the cousins, who had a reputation for being a bit of a comedian. Mom: Every time I see you reach in there I think you're gonna get burned. Cousin: I've lived a good seven years. ...I'm nine. And on Christmas: Cousin: Mom, do we have to write thank-you notes for Christmas presents? Her mom: No, sweetie. Cousin: Good.
|
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 06:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 17, 2024 02:22 |
|
|
HellCopter posted:"Let the children name the dog" is why I had a poodle for 10 years named Mini-me. Late reply but my brother was well into his 20s when he decided to name our cat mini-me (cause she looked like another cat we had at the time)  (Obligatory picture of mini) Edit: content! I was face timing a friend at work and his 10 year old daughter came over to bring him some food and started talking about the food he had on his plate, specifically the mashed potatoes. I asked if she helped make them to which she replied "no. I don't like them so I didn't help  "CeramicPig has a new favorite as of 08:42 on Dec 27, 2015 |
|
#
?
Dec 27, 2015 08:29
|
|
