FARTHOUSE 5: - sounds funny but ultimately you just shit your pants

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Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

I wrote a thing. You can read it if you hate yourself.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2015/12/27/week-16-preview-none-of-this-matters/

# ? Dec 27, 2015 16:59

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# ? May 13, 2024 22:00

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

I'm going to write a piece called "Peyton Manning is a big fat cheater I knew it all along everyone who cheats should be banned".

# ? Dec 27, 2015 17:04

Agronox: Feb 4, 2005

We could just pull a Tom Brady piece from last year. Probably wouldn't have to change too many words.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 17:13

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

a deliberately tone deaf patsfan article about how mannings legacy is tarnished could actually be pretty funny.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 20:49

Agronox: Feb 4, 2005

Hmm, it could be the hot take troll bait post of the season.

FART editor, is there any way to put an author's byline at the bottom of a post?

# ? Dec 27, 2015 21:07

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

hey dave

# ? Dec 28, 2015 18:19

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

Ehud posted:

hey dave

oh nooo

# ? Dec 28, 2015 18:53

TyroneGoldstein: Mar 30, 2005

Magicpants posted:

I wrote a thing. You can read it if you hate yourself.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2015/12/27/week-16-preview-none-of-this-matters/

This was a fun read...and I may be missing an in-joke or something...but you reference Ryan Tannehill when talking about the Colts....

# ? Dec 28, 2015 19:05

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Ehud posted:

hey dave

Mercury Mor-owns

# ? Dec 28, 2015 19:37

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

...He followed me

There is no way that's actually him, is it? He's not verified and has just 2k followers

Edit: he's followed by official dolphins accounts gently caress did I just legitimately get followed by mercury morris lol

I hope he doesn't read my string of depressive drunk Giants tweets from last night

Febreeze fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Dec 28, 2015

# ? Dec 28, 2015 19:47

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Febreeze posted:

...He followed me

There is no way that's actually him, is it? He's not verified and has just 2k followers

It's him. He's followed by almost all of the Dolphins beat writers and Adam Schefter.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 19:50

SirPhoebos: Dec 10, 2007; WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Ehud posted:

hey dave

Every time these insufferable asshats resurface, I just think of Larry Czonka being murdered by black-hooded Canadian cultists and my blood pressure returns to normal.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 20:03

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

SirPhoebos posted:

Every time these insufferable asshats resurface, I just think of Larry Czonka being murdered by black-hooded Canadian cultists and my blood pressure returns to normal.

...I think I know what I'm watching this afternoon.

ROWSDOWER!

# ? Dec 28, 2015 20:05

SirPhoebos: Dec 10, 2007; WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

whypick1 posted:

...I think I know what I'm watching this afternoon.

ROWSDOWER!

Giant Spider Invasion is the silver lining of whenever the Packers do really well :unsmith:

# ? Dec 28, 2015 20:07

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

TyroneGoldstein posted:

This was a fun read...and I may be missing an in-joke or something...but you reference Ryan Tannehill when talking about the Colts....

Yeah I meant that Ryan Tannehill and whoever was QBing for the Colts were gonna poo poo it up in OT. I phrased some of those jokes poorly for sure.

Febreeze posted:

...He followed me

There is no way that's actually him, is it? He's not verified and has just 2k followers

Edit: he's followed by official dolphins accounts gently caress did I just legitimately get followed by mercury morris lol

I hope he doesn't read my string of depressive drunk Giants tweets from last night

Tweet goatse at him or we're not friends

# ? Dec 28, 2015 22:53

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

SirPhoebos posted:

Every time these insufferable asshats resurface, I just think of Larry Czonka being murdered by black-hooded Canadian cultists and my blood pressure returns to normal.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 22:55

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Mercury Morris is cool and the best part of The Black Six and if you were in his shoes you'd all be doing the same

# ? Dec 29, 2015 01:26

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

# ? Dec 29, 2015 02:22

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Wait, Vince Wilfork was one of the Koopas in the Super Mario Bros. movie? :confused:

# ? Dec 29, 2015 02:32

will_colorado: Jun 30, 2007

whypick1 posted:

Wait, Vince Wilfork was one of the Koopas in the Super Mario Bros. movie?

Goombas

# ? Dec 29, 2015 07:12

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Alaois posted:

Mercury Morris is cool and the best part of The Black Six and if you were in his shoes you'd all be doing the same

# ? Dec 29, 2015 09:07

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

We ruined dabbing in like, a month. Good job america

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/america-gets-dabbing/

# ? Dec 29, 2015 17:54

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Cam should just start reviving other dances that have been beat into the ground in reverse chronological order. Bust out the Dougie.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 18:02

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Spoeank posted:

Cam should just start reviving other dances that have been beat into the ground in reverse chronological order. Bust out the Dougie.

Cam should just act like he's been there.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:59

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Chichevache posted:

Cam should just act like he's been there.

but he hasnt

# ? Dec 29, 2015 21:11

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

Febreeze posted:

We ruined dabbing in like, a month. Good job america

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/america-gets-dabbing/

Much like everything else, it jumped the shark when old white people started doing it.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 22:22

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

Volkerball posted:

but he hasnt

blah blah dress for the job you want something something

# ? Dec 29, 2015 23:35

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

Newton is gonna start doing the Charleston ironically

# ? Dec 29, 2015 23:38

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chichevache posted:

I'm phoneposting, so someone else find that beautiful gif of that Cardinal killing it back in 2012, I think.

This one?

# ? Dec 30, 2015 00:09

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

JPrime posted:

This one?

Nah. Some white linebacker. Bradham or Bradford or something like that. I have it on my laptop. I'll try and find it tomorrow when I pick it up. It's a great gif.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 03:32

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

so uh. i need a new avatar now. any ideas? i was thinking howie roseman pulling a red wedding on chip kelly.

or something else hilarious, i dunno.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 05:50

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

axeil posted:

so uh. i need a new avatar now. any ideas? i was thinking howie roseman pulling a red wedding on chip kelly.

or something else hilarious, i dunno.

http://i.imgur.com/GWn40K9.gifv

# ? Dec 30, 2015 05:52

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

axeil posted:

so uh. i need a new avatar now. any ideas? i was thinking howie roseman pulling a red wedding on chip kelly.

or something else hilarious, i dunno.

This in a Star Wars intro

axeil posted:

So the more I think about it, the more sure I am that Kelly is not getting fired.

My rationale:

1. Two 10 win seasons.

Say what you will about last year, but usually going 10-6 is enough to get you in the playoffs. The NFC had a strong year last year, so it wasn't enough but I find it hard to fault him for that.

2. Full Control

The entire scouting department, personnel office, etc just changed to be what Chip wants. To fire him now would mean you're now going to have another year of restructuring everything. Even more insane are the idiots in the Philly media who think Lurie should strip Kelly's GM powers. Which would yield the same lack of consistency and cause problems.

3. Carolina/Cincy

Look at what Marvin Lewis and Ron Rivera have done during their career. Lewis had not just one, but two 4 win seasons and now the Bengals are a powerhouse. Similarly, Rivera looked absolutely hopeless back in 2012 but ownership was patient and he's now going to have either a 14 or 15 win season. Knee-jerk firing simply is not a winning strategy in the NFL. For an example of what it does, take a look at the Browns.

4. He Finally Has A QB

Kelly has said the #1 priority in the offseason is signing Sam long-term, which is really exciting. He had a rough start to the year, but once he figured things out, man has he looked good. I think with a full offseason to train and Kelly upgrading the OL and teaching the WRs how to catch, Sam could be something really special. If you can Kelly, who's to say his replacement wouldn't jettison Bradford?

5. Bright Spots

The season sucked as a whole, but there were plenty of glimmers of hope. Look at the game against the Patriots, or the game against the Giants. This team is one that can play well at times, they're just horribly inconsistent. I say you give Kelly another year to coach the players up and give them a chance to stop being so Jekyll and Hyde.

Basically, yes the season was super frustrating for Philly fans. However, that doesn't mean that emotional knee-jerk reactions are going to fix anything. Now if things are as bad or worse next year? Then yeah, maybe you make a change. But firing a coach simply because the media and fans over-hyped the team and were disappointed when their delusions didn't come true is insane.