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Wait so if Waldo didn't vanish where did Fatbeard get that bike from 
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Dec 31, 2015 08:05
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The Saurus posted:Wait so if Waldo didn't vanish where did Fatbeard get that bike from The bike has been in the basement since 2009! It was apparently abandoned by the guy who was before the awesome kid in the property A!! 
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Dec 31, 2015 08:09
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:
What does everyone think the twist here is going to be? My money's on it turns out she's running a meth lab in her apartment.
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Dec 31, 2015 13:29
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I just realised that if Uncle Bruno's house had been full of empty plastic bottles, instead of magazines and books, it would have been a goldmine for fatbeard.
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Dec 31, 2015 14:45
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Shadow0 posted:What does everyone think the twist here is going to be? My money's on it turns out she's running a meth lab in her apartment. As if he'd even care considering his tenants have to stop him from smashing his own door while high. He'd probably let her start paying the entirety of her rent in cheap eastern european speed
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Dec 31, 2015 14:46
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Shadow0 posted:What does everyone think the twist here is going to be? My money's on it turns out she's running a meth lab in her apartment. Offers to sleep with him in exchange for free rent. Her boyfriend finds out and beats the poo poo out of Sweaty. He wants to kick her out but doesn't because he's fallen in love with her.
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Dec 31, 2015 17:32
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Shadow0 posted:What does everyone think the twist here is going to be? My money's on it turns out she's running a meth lab in her apartment.
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Dec 31, 2015 18:02
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This thread is amazing. I originally thought there was no way that A SWEATY FATBEARD could be real, but now I know that I've just lived an incredibly sheltered life. When I finally snap into a manic episode that compels me to throw away everything for a poorly-considered life-changing move, I'm gonna sell all my poo poo and move to Croatia. Maybe I'll get an apartment in one of your slums in a few years, ASF. I'm a quiet renter and I always pay on time. 
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Jan 1, 2016 01:56
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Now, for some actual content! Yesterday a mailman woke me up and brought me two letters! This sentence makes me laugh so much, partly because I'm imagining the mailman just sticking his head through a broken screen door to yell at ASF until he rouses himself off the floor to take his mail.
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Jan 1, 2016 07:42
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Bobbie Wickham posted:This sentence makes me laugh so much, partly because I'm imagining the mailman just sticking his head through a broken screen door to yell at ASF until he rouses himself off the floor to take his mail.  The mailman knows that there's a 90% chance that I'm passed out whenever he comes over with a letter, so he banged at the door with his fist until I woke up. You're on to something.
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Jan 1, 2016 12:27
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Bobbie Wickham posted:This sentence makes me laugh so much, partly because I'm imagining the mailman just sticking his head through a broken screen door to yell at ASF until he rouses himself off the floor to take his mail. 
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Jan 2, 2016 01:36
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Bobbie Wickham posted:This sentence makes me laugh so much, partly because I'm imagining the mailman just sticking his head through a broken screen door to yell at ASF until he rouses himself off the floor to take his mail. I just like to imagine that there's a giant hole in the wall that people come and go through, and that ASF is the only who who still goes through the pretense of using the door.
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Jan 2, 2016 11:17
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Geniasis posted:I just like to imagine that there's a giant hole in the wall that people come and go through, and that ASF is the only who who still goes through the pretense of using the door. Which makes him constantly locking himself out that much better.
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Jan 4, 2016 00:56
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GlitchThief posted:When I finally snap into a manic episode that compels me to throw away everything for a poorly-considered life-changing move, I'm gonna sell all my poo poo and move to Croatia. Maybe I'll get an apartment in one of your slums in a few years, ASF. I'm a quiet renter and I always pay on time. You won't be once you get settled in. Croatia does things to a man. Palpek posted:More like: A distinct possibility, but the mailman probably only does that for doors that still have glass. I'm beginning to think Croatia is [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cU3nU--X-o]Sunnyvale Trailer Park[/ur] from "Trailer Park Boys" writ large, probably all the way down to a currency made of hand-written coupons.
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Jan 4, 2016 04:36
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Shoot, that link didn't work: Sunnyvale's finest. Like, I know you don't have a car, but I'm sure if/when the day comes, it'll be something like The Shitmobile: hosed up but somehow working all the same. (Plus you can use it as a summer home or a grow house.) If the time comes you need legal counsel, I think I can help.
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Jan 4, 2016 04:47
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Dirty Sanchez posted:Offers to sleep with him in exchange for free rent. Her boyfriend finds out and beats the poo poo out of Sweaty. He wants to kick her out but doesn't because he's fallen in love with her. Are we writing ASF slash fic now?
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Jan 4, 2016 05:06
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Please don't throw your money to someone that is probably making everything up. In the unlikely case that the story is true, this is a person with a crippling addiction who apparently enjoys torturing small animals. Don't enable his crackhead rear end.
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Jan 4, 2016 12:04
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Non Serviam posted:Please don't throw your money to someone that is probably making everything up. Woah, get a load of this guy. Please tell me about the time I tortured small animals because heck, I sure as hell can't remember any such incident.
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Jan 4, 2016 17:32
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Non Serviam posted:Please don't throw your money to someone that is probably making everything up. If he's making up I'd like to pay for my entertainment. Don't worry about how we spend our money ya grumpy bitch.
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Jan 5, 2016 00:45
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Woah, get a load of this guy. Please tell me about the time I tortured small animals because heck, I sure as hell can't remember any such incident. In all fairness, there's probably a lot of things you don't remember.
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Jan 5, 2016 01:05
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For a second I thought mb Fatbeard was the guy who gave squirrels benzos and threw them to their deaths from his apartment window while they were comatose, but I think that might have been some other TCC person
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Jan 5, 2016 01:24
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That doesn't sound like the Fatbeard I know.
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Jan 5, 2016 01:29
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Right. It would be ridiculous to waste benzos
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Jan 5, 2016 01:52
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i like nice words
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Woah, get a load of this guy. Please tell me about the time I tortured small animals because heck, I sure as hell can't remember any such incident. What do you call throwing a live mouse into a garbage compactor, you massive failure of a human being? A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:And then there was an incident when I caught a mouse on a glue trap I made. I picked up the mouse and went to the bathroom to drown the fucker in the toilet bowl, but judging from a stream of heavy grunting emanating from the stall, the toilet was very much in use. I felt like a complete moron, holding a sticky mouse (everybody wanted to see the catch), so I just dumped the little bastard (mouse w/trap) right into the garbage compactor and got it over with. Either you're making it up, or you seriously think it's funny to kill an animal like that. Either way, you truly deserve this alleged lovely life.
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Jan 5, 2016 03:21
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why would you want the mouse to keep suffering in the trap? Also can there please be a forum rule against begging for paypal donations in every other thread OH WAIT pretty sure thats already a rule
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Jan 5, 2016 03:40
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gently caress the ROW posted:why would you want the mouse to keep suffering in the trap? Also can there please be a forum rule against begging for paypal donations in every other thread OH WAIT pretty sure thats already a rule There are more humane ways to terminate the mouse (which was in a glue trap) than a loving garbage compactor. Sorry if it was a derail from the thread, but this rear end in a top hat seemed to seriously enjoy doing that. gently caress him.
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Jan 5, 2016 03:45
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Non Serviam posted:What do you call throwing a live mouse into a garbage compactor, you massive failure of a human being? Have you ever seen a glue trap in action? Leaving a mouse (or any animal) on one to slowly die of thirst and/or attempt to gnaw its own limbs off to escape is cruel. Throwing it in a trash compactor to be crushed is actually tremendously more humane. Even drowning it is faster, at least. The answer is to not use glue traps in the first place, but if you already have...
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Jan 5, 2016 03:45
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Non Serviam posted:What do you call throwing a live mouse into a garbage compactor, you massive failure of a human being? Who hurt you so, friend?
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Jan 5, 2016 04:20
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Big difference between "enjoying torturing small animals and thinking its funny" and "doing your job as a janitor at a warehouse because it is your job". Also, it isn't exactly stunning that they don't have state of the art, as humane as possible mouse traps, in a third rate garbage dump of a warehouse in Croatia. This, of all previous stories and misshaps, is apparantly either the least believable or the tipping point that makes ASF's life choices questionable? 
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Jan 5, 2016 04:43
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Yeah glue traps are really cruel and also surprisingly common. Not sure how I would kill mice that were caught, but a trash compactor seems like a relatively quick and effective end to it.
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Jan 5, 2016 05:22
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NotAnArtist posted:Who hurt you so, friend? You're right. None of my business. Carry on.
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Jan 5, 2016 05:33
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I'm extremely concerned this raconteur Croatian drug dealer might be using the wrong kind of mouse traps.
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Jan 5, 2016 05:41
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Non Serviam posted:What do you call throwing a live mouse into a garbage compactor, you massive failure of a human being? It's called pest control, you massive bleeding heart pussy, and it was a part of my job. Should I call the waaaaaaambulance? Seriously though, you probably don't realize that rodents are the enemy #1 in a food warehouse. Mice would gnaw holes in the flour bags, spilling flour everywhere, and since rodents don't have time to waste, they would relieve themselves anywhere they could. If it weren't for the pest control, having to toss entire 950 kg pallets of produce because the rats constructed an elaborate system of nests and walkways in it would've been a daily occurence and we would have ended up with nothing to sell. How about that time when I was junking the whole pallet of pomegranate but had no idea that there was a football-sized rat living inside and it suddenly JUMPED INTO MY FACE? Oh, and the mouse in question made itself at home in our "office" (which in reality was a dilapidated kiosk stashed in the corner, but you get the idea) and the glue was used as a last resort because we couldn't chase the little fucker out? Rodents can go fuckin die in explosions as far as I'm concerned, I hate them. fake edit: it seems that the goons grew wary of giving money to random internet people after the doob fiasco. I passingly mentioned a possibility that I might do it in the future, and yeah some people are already treating me like I scammed them out of their hard earn'd money. 
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Jan 5, 2016 10:10
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The only way people would feel scammed, imo, is if you took that money and cleaned up your life, then moved to somewhere dull and safe. What I'm saying is, I think you're a sound investment.
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Jan 5, 2016 14:26
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Non Serviam posted:There are more humane ways to terminate the mouse (which was in a glue trap) than a loving garbage compactor. that's not that bad really. its probably quicker if he were to stomp on it but that feels way more barbaric. really they should just have used snap traps. but even then a mouse is going to suffer sometimes. unfortunately in a warehouse where there's food and stuff, you have to kill rodents that get in quickly and cheaply.
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Jan 5, 2016 15:02
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Dude hasn't even set up a paypal but gets accused of begging for money. Awesome.
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Jan 5, 2016 20:45
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Non Serviam posted:Please don't throw your money to someone that is probably making everything up. It's true. All janitors are basically nazis. Remind me never to visit your house, which I can only imagine is some kind of rodent safe house. Ok. I'll admit it, the imagine of a little rat refugee family with their tiny passports is pretty cute.
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Jan 5, 2016 22:51
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Non serviam's posts in this thread are all about saying fatbeard is a liar and made everything up despite fatbeard posting multiple pictures of the stuff he's done
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Jan 5, 2016 23:55
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Is anyone else starting to think this thread is some sort of elaborate attempt to create a paper trail, for when the Croatian government hit fatbeard up for undeclared rental income from his property empire?
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Jan 6, 2016 01:17
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Mr Enderby posted:Is anyone else starting to think this thread is some sort of elaborate attempt to create a paper trail, for when the Croatian government hit fatbeard up for undeclared rental income from his property empire? Based on his stories I'd be more inclined to think that the Croatian "government" is an elaborate ponzi scheme instead.
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Jan 6, 2016 02:28
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