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Women getting unusual odors after having sex with a new partner happens sometimes, as it takes awhile for the bacteria in the vagina to normalize itself in response to the pH change of new semen.
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Jan 6, 2016 06:34
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Today I learned something new! ...what constitutes an "unusual" odor? I smell different at different times of the month already.
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Jan 6, 2016 07:07
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So me and my girlfriend are both young and we're each other's first. We started having sex some months ago but very irregularly as our relationship is a bit long distance until I move back home in february. Fortunately she knows what she likes so I managed to get her off easily with fingers and oral. However, after our first time with penetrative sex she seemed disappointed and told me she couldn't feel much. She was looking forward to the feeling of me ejaculating inside of her but she couldn't feel that at all, and she's slightly upset that she can't have a "real" (aka vaginal) orgasm from penetrative sex alone. I told her that we've got lots of time to figure it out when I'm back and that she shouldn't worry about having a vaginal orgasm or not. She comes quite easily from clitoral stimulation so it's not a big deal to me. But since I'm not a woman I have to ask; the inside of the vagina is relatively insensitive, yes? She says she feels something but couldn't possibly come from the feeling. We tried stuff like doggy or me rubbing her g-spot, but she says deeper or other angles don't do much (going too deep during doggy actually hurt her), and she can't even feel anything different when I rub her g-spot. Admittedly I haven't tried very hard there, but I'm almost certain I found it (rougher spot under the pubic bone that swells when she's aroused.) Also, we tried fingering during penetrative sex but it doesn't work very well. We need some sort of lube and spit doesn't work for her (less viscuous and colder than her juices). She feels it's somewhat unfair that she can't come during penetrative sex but I'm unsure what to do or say except finishing her off with my fingers or tongue before or after. I'm fairly certain it's a nonissue and we'll figure it out when we have more experience but I would appreciate some pointers nonetheless. Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for her, either by stimulating her vagina more, or by stimulating her clit? I've heard people say the bumping of the pubic bone against a woman's clit during missionary can be pleasurable but I don't think I hit hers.
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Jan 6, 2016 18:12
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It's totally normal, not weird or broken. Look up "coital alignment technique" if you want something easy to try, but it still may not happen. If you want, you can include a vibrator or whatever else during penetration. And penetration doesn't have to be the main course if you guys don't want it to be. If you prefer oral, it's totally fine to just do that, or do mostly that, whatever you like. The important thing is just to have fun and not put pressure on yourselves.quote:She was looking forward to the feeling of me ejaculating inside of her but she couldn't feel that at all quote:going too deep during doggy actually hurt her quote:Also, we tried fingering during penetrative sex but it doesn't work very well. We need some sort of lube and spit doesn't work for her (less viscuous and colder than her juices).
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Jan 6, 2016 18:23
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i like nice words
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IANALady but in my experience vaginal sex is often not especially stimulating for a woman even if you're hung like a racehorse. It's not like an inside out penis, or at least imagine if you cut the head off your penis and taped it to your belly button. The primary stimulating areas are not located in the vagina. She may enjoy having something in there, my girlfriend does, and she enjoys the feeling of intercourse but near as I can gather it's more like if you masturbated by just rubbing the base of your penis, it's pleasant but it probably won't finish you off. You can, if you're flexible/good enough at concentrating, find a position where you can both have penetrative sex and also play with her a bit, though it's pretty hard to keep concentration I find and you need long arms. It's also worth noting that for a lot of people, climax isn't just a matter of jamming your thumb on the cum button repeatedly, you can help a lot by having the right mood and doing things that you both enjoy that aren't directly linked to orgasming. You have an entire body at your disposal and you can probably find something to be doing while your penis is inside her. If she's been anticipating it she may be worried that it doesn't feel like she expected and that may be getting in the way of her enjoyment a bit. So it might help to perhaps talk with her about it and try to make sex just about having a good time rather than fulfilling any particular expectations. Or you could buy a cock ring that does stuff to her clit when you gently caress her.
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Jan 6, 2016 18:31
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Anne Whateley posted:It's totally normal, not weird or broken. Look up "coital alignment technique" if you want something easy to try, but it still may not happen. If you want, you can include a vibrator or whatever else during penetration. And penetration doesn't have to be the main course if you guys don't want it to be. If you prefer oral, it's totally fine to just do that, or do mostly that, whatever you like. The important thing is just to have fun and not put pressure on yourselves. Right, yes, that's all what I thought. I'm not sure I hit the cervix (I'm p average, but maybe a vagina is smaller than I thought). I'll try the coital alignment technique to see if it changes anything. She does get really wet so I'll try pulling out for a second and doing that. So vaginas are just really insensitive, then? Does that ever change? I've read about women only being to achieve vaginal orgasms with their husbands after years of marriage. I assumed it's just because they don't communicate but I read it's somehow linked to hormone levels? (Estrogen making it harder to feel something in your vagina). With all the diverging theories my own guess is just that every woman is different, and my girlfriend just happens to come easily from clitoral stimulation than penetration. OwlFancier posted:She may enjoy having something in there, my girlfriend does, and she enjoys the feeling of intercourse but near as I can gather it's more like if you masturbated by just rubbing the base of your penis, it's pleasant but it probably won't finish you off. She does enjoy the feeling a lot, just not enough to climax from it. I guess she's perfectly fine and it's just a matter of her coming to terms with the fact that sex isn't the way Cosmo describes it. (She's been anticipating for a long time.) Deltasquid fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Jan 6, 2016 |
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Jan 6, 2016 18:35
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Deltasquid posted:With all the diverging theories my own guess is just that every woman is different This is rather true, yes. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and it's generally more complicated with women than men, as most of us will climax pretty well if you fiddle with the dick for long enough. I guess perhaps the way I interpret it is imagine if you needed something that really works for you in order to climax at all. Sex would be a lot more involved. Deltasquid posted:She does enjoy the feeling a lot, just not enough to climax from it. I guess she's perfectly fine and it's just a matter of her coming to terms with the fact that sex isn't the way Cosmo describes it. (She's been anticipating for a long time.) Anticipation and expectations are a bugger. There's not much that will spoil your sex life as much as anxiety and stress and not much you're likely to run across short of STDs that are more stressful than the yawning terror of "it's not working right!!" It's fine to look forward to sex but building it up to be some sort of transcendent experience will probably make it far less of one, good sex takes practice and generally, I think, knowledge and understanding of your partner. Sadly I don't think sex wizards are real who can just pelvic thrust at you and make you cream your pants with the power of their sexual magnetism. Give care to what you're doing, have fun with it, and be happy during sex, if you're happy, with someone who cares enough to find out what you like, and you're having fun, you'll have a good time. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Jan 6, 2016 |
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Jan 6, 2016 18:37
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Deltasquid posted:So me and my girlfriend are both young and we're each other's first. We started having sex some months ago but very irregularly as our relationship is a bit long distance until I move back home in february. I'll probably do a big post going paragraph by paragraph tonight, but as I'm phone posting, I'll do the TLDR version here. The two most important things about sex are as follows: 1: Sex is a skill like any other, meaning you'll start by sucking at it. Just keep trying different things and the average quality of sex will rise for both of you. 2. Most women can't cum from solely penetration, and need some clitoral stimulation. That's nothing to be ashamed of. 3. There's no right or wrong way to have sex or orgasm. All that matters is you're both enjoying it. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jan 6, 2016 |
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Jan 6, 2016 18:42
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Deltasquid posted:With all the diverging theories my own guess is just that every woman is different, and my girlfriend just happens to come easily from clitoral stimulation than penetration. Sometimes things change as you age or after huge changes like childbirth. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes stuff doesn't make a lot of intuitive sense -- like mine is super sensitive, and in a great way, buuut not at all in a way that makes me come. You basically just have to roll with whatever. Your next girlfriend is probably going to be way different and you'll have to start figuring out what works for her, almost from scratch. That's just how it works for everybody. Learning about someone is really fun if it stays chill.
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Jan 6, 2016 18:44
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hoobajoo posted:1: Sex is a skill like any other, meaning you'll start by sucking at it. This was deliberate, right?
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Jan 6, 2016 19:56
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silvergoose posted:This was deliberate, right? There are no coincidences.
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Jan 6, 2016 20:03
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Deltasquid posted:So me and my girlfriend are both young and we're each other's first. We started having sex some months ago but very irregularly as our relationship is a bit long distance until I move back home in february. She needs to go to Scarleteen.com and read all the relevant articles about how a majority of women never come from vaginal stimulation alone. Also, she doesn't do a good job of reading Cosmo if she missed all the articles about how a majority of women never come from vaginal stimulation alone, because they're in there. I blame romance and erotica novels for this myth that all/most ladies get off from loving. Anyway, next time get some lube (Sliquid is good) and go to town on her clit while you guys are loving.
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Jan 6, 2016 21:13
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Faerunner posted:Today I learned something new! If it's a weird lurking strong smell that doesn't go away, or is anything like the stereotypical fishy vag joke, it's probably either a yeast infection or BV. Those problems are common, but not normal. They can also be triggered in some unfortunate women by hormonal changes alone, especially if you take hormonal BC. (You can be on the verge of yeast without seeing that classic cottage cheese from hell thing). If it's really strong or smells like literal death it could be an STD like trich. If you have an odor like the above but don't have any obvious symptoms such as itching, burning or odd discharge, take some probiotics. Different ones seem to work better for different women, I swear by Acidophilus Reuteri. Also this may be woo-woo holistic Newage poo poo but coconut oil seems to work really well also (at least for my body. Again, YMMV)
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Jan 6, 2016 21:17
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AlbieQuirky posted:She needs to go to Scarleteen.com and read all the relevant articles about how a majority of women never come from vaginal stimulation alone. Also, she doesn't do a good job of reading Cosmo if she missed all the articles about how a majority of women never come from vaginal stimulation alone, because they're in there. I blame romance and erotica novels for this myth that all/most ladies get off from loving. I don't know if she actually reads cosmo, I just threw that out there because I only ever see articles like "5 tricks that will blow his mind and make his penis explode into space" pop up on my facebook. But blaming erotica novels wouldn't surprise me, since she read that trash as a teenager.
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Jan 6, 2016 21:23
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Deltasquid posted:I don't know if she actually reads cosmo, I just threw that out there because I only ever see articles like "5 tricks that will blow his mind and make his penis explode into space" pop up on my facebook. But blaming erotica novels wouldn't surprise me, since she read that trash as a teenager. Many young women in general have a lot to learn about sex and what their own body likes just through practice/experience. It sounds like she can get off in general, which is good and honestly all that matters. Just keep doing what she likes. One possibility if she wants to try penetration more is a good rabbit vibrator, as those stimulate both the clit and inside at the same time. Not getting off from plain old sex is very common for women, however. To go on about how many ladies have different bodies and preferences, I have the weirdest vagina in the world. I can almost only get off through penetration alone (whether by guy or toy). Climaxes from clit play alone are rare and take forever, and usually the clit is too sensitive and I don't like it being touched much. Oral does loving nothing for me, and multiple partners have sworn that I'd change my mind after they tried...nope. But I have a weird, also guy-ish problem. When I'm alone jerking (jilling?) I cum WAY too fast. Like in about a minute. I know part of the problem is likely my vibrator - this doesn't happen when I'm with a partner, I still get off fairly quickly but can easily keep going until we're both happy. When I'm alone though, after one I'm done. While it's nice for discreet purposes to get the whole thing over with quickly, it's also a little annoying to have all the prepwork done only to shoot off too fast. On the other side if I get rid of my vibrator, I have trouble climaxing at all - probably not due to the vibrations, as a guy works just as well, but more likely because fingers aren't enough penetration. This problem is apparently so uncommon nothing on Google has an answer, at least for women.
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Jan 6, 2016 21:32
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Don't turn the vibrator on?
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Jan 6, 2016 22:12
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KillHour posted:Don't turn the vibrator on?
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Jan 6, 2016 23:34
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A different vibrate speed might do it also - maybe you've found your, uhh, resonant frequency and that causes you to orgasm too quickly. If it's a a plug-in vibrator you could try a dimmer switch. If that works then, when you feel like finishing, just turn the dial and it's done.
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Jan 7, 2016 00:15
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Deltasquid posted:So me and my girlfriend are both young and we're each other's first. We started having sex some months ago but very irregularly as our relationship is a bit long distance until I move back home in february. Others have said it, but to reiterate: very few women can come from penetrative sex alone. Get yourselves the book I posted earlier, "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski. Much of it focuses on addressing myths about female sexuality such as "you're supposed to come from vaginal penetration alone and you're broken or not having real orgasms if you can't". http://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090
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Jan 7, 2016 00:49
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Cuckoo posted:But I have a weird, also guy-ish problem. When I'm alone jerking (jilling?) I cum WAY too fast. Like in about a minute. Um, why not just go for another one?
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Jan 7, 2016 01:54
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Yeah you're real young. When I was a teenager my gf didn't climax for a while after we started bangin. You try a few different things. There's ways to stimulate the clit while youre bangin, either with your hands or your own pubic area. You tried it with her on top? That's a popular one for young ladies trying to make it work from penetrative sex. Just gently caress a lot. Youll find something that works for you. Even if she never comes with a D in her V that's not weird or unusual at all and you can still have a lot of fun with it.
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Jan 7, 2016 01:56
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Travis343 posted:Yeah you're real young. When I was a teenager my gf didn't climax for a while after we started bangin. You try a few different things. There's ways to stimulate the clit while youre bangin, either with your hands or your own pubic area. If you've been at this awhile and she still can't reach a vaginal climax, you might try one of those inner/outer vibrators (they look like a clamp) that she wears while you penetrate her. It will give her some clitoral and g-spot stimulation during penetration. Additionally, you'd better get your oral sex practice in. Cuckoo posted:If it's a weird lurking strong smell that doesn't go away, or is anything like the stereotypical fishy vag joke This is where the whole "fish vag" thing came from. The idea was that women who had lots of unprotected sex with new partners would have their vaginal bacteria and pH constantly trying to adjust to the foreign material (semen is essentially a foreign material with a high pH). Of course, the etymology of fish vag is older than our knowledge of bacteria and microbiotic processes, so it was just seen as "loose women smell funny". It's not uncommon to get odorous after unprotected sex with a new partner while you adjust, it's only if it continues (and you're having sex regularly and aren't switching partners). PRADA SLUT fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Jan 7, 2016 |
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Jan 7, 2016 02:14
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Sex Questions Megathread: just gently caress a lot
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Jan 7, 2016 02:16
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You learn something new every day, in my case both that 1: vaginas are more complicatedly homeostatic than I realised and 2: that I jizz soap. Though I guess I should have been able to deduce 2 from sex ed.
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Jan 7, 2016 03:29
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Cuckoo posted:If it's a weird lurking strong smell that doesn't go away, or is anything like the stereotypical fishy vag joke, it's probably either a yeast infection or BV. Those problems are common, but not normal. They can also be triggered in some unfortunate women by hormonal changes alone, especially if you take hormonal BC. (You can be on the verge of yeast without seeing that classic cottage cheese from hell thing). If it's really strong or smells like literal death it could be an STD like trich. I had bacterial vaginosis with no symptoms one time and my gp told me to masturbate with plain yogurt and get it waaaay up there. It was gross but also surprisingly effective as lube.
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Jan 7, 2016 03:49
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Cuckoo posted:Many young women in general have a lot to learn about sex and what their own body likes just through practice/experience. It sounds like she can get off in general, which is good and honestly all that matters. Just keep doing what she likes. One possibility if she wants to try penetration more is a good rabbit vibrator, as those stimulate both the clit and inside at the same time. Not getting off from plain old sex is very common for women, however. I'm still pretty jealous, haha. I'm pretty sure I'm anorgasmic, which doesn't detract from sex but is pretty frustrating regardless.
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Jan 7, 2016 03:53
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halenaw posted:I had bacterial vaginosis with no symptoms one time and my gp told me to masturbate with plain yogurt and get it waaaay up there. It was gross but also surprisingly effective as lube. Uhhh I would... not expect that to work given that getting sugar in your cooch is... not a good idea to the best of my understanding?
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Jan 7, 2016 04:36
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Plain yogurt shouldn't contain sugars besides lactose.
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Jan 7, 2016 06:56
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It's a lot easier to put the yogurt on a tampon. And, yeah, plain whole-milk yogurt, not Yoplait or whatever.
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Jan 7, 2016 07:02
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Go-Gurt comes with a convenient applicator as well.
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Jan 7, 2016 07:06
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Alright, thanks for the suggestions, thread. I guess we just have to learn to stop worrying and love the clit.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:19
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Is there a sex toy good enough to forget my girlfriend and my sad life for like a minute and a half? $30 budget please.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:21
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PRADA SLUT posted:Go-Gurt comes with a convenient applicator as well. Except Go-Gurt is Yoplait, which had been advised against in literally the post before yours. I know you think you're being funny, but don't make jokes about inserting substances into your body without a big neon flashing sign reading "JOKE" because you should also know that someone will try it.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:31
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Turtlicious posted:Is there a sex toy good enough to forget my girlfriend and my sad life for like a minute and a half? $30 budget please.
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Jan 7, 2016 10:16
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Cuckoo posted:But I have a weird, also guy-ish problem. When I'm alone jerking (jilling?) I cum WAY too fast. Like in about a minute. I know part of the problem is likely my vibrator - this doesn't happen when I'm with a partner, I still get off fairly quickly but can easily keep going until we're both happy. When I'm alone though, after one I'm done. While it's nice for discreet purposes to get the whole thing over with quickly, it's also a little annoying to have all the prepwork done only to shoot off too fast. On the other side if I get rid of my vibrator, I have trouble climaxing at all - probably not due to the vibrations, as a guy works just as well, but more likely because fingers aren't enough penetration. I have the same problem. I figure a lot of it is a mental thing, like horny with a partner being different from horny alone, plus having trouble getting the right sensations unassisted.
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Jan 7, 2016 11:17
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Jedit posted:I know you think you're being funny, but don't make jokes about inserting substances into your body without a big neon flashing sign reading "JOKE" because you should also know that someone will try it. then they deserve whatever happens.
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Jan 7, 2016 11:42
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Sex is freaking complicated.
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Jan 7, 2016 15:20
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bowmore posted:Go-Gurt is pretty cheap  You just made me shoot Go-Gurt out my nose.
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Jan 7, 2016 16:29
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DandyLion posted:
Which orifice was it originally inserted into?
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Jan 7, 2016 17:05
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The Sex Questions Megathread: Go-Gurt comes with a convenient applicator
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Jan 7, 2016 17:22
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