KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

Capt. Sticl: Jul 24, 2002; In Zion I was meant to be
'Doze the homes
Block the sea
With this great ship at my command
I'll plunder all the Promised Land!

Sash! posted:

I've prepared some science experiments that will illuminate the mind and dazzle the eye.

You see that guy over there quoting lines? I invented that.

When I started out as a poster, I made original content. It was my idea to quote things, to attract a fan base.

By the way, you're doing it too fast. You'll disorient the other posters.

# ? Jan 5, 2016 15:47

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 22:54

Red: Apr 15, 2003; Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage.

Huh?

There was a goon that posted in TVIV - no arms! He got more quotes done than I did, made more money, had a wife, a family, drove a better car than I did!

# ? Jan 5, 2016 16:29

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

He made posts with no arms?

# ? Jan 5, 2016 17:36

Red: Apr 15, 2003; Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

potee posted:

He made posts with no arms?

All right, I made up the part about the posts, but the rest is true!

And he hated me anyway! :mad:

# ? Jan 6, 2016 00:56

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

Red posted:

All right, I made up the part about the posts, but the rest is true!

And he hated me anyway!

Maybe some people don't like you. I could see that.

# ? Jan 6, 2016 14:55

Doubtful Guest: Jun 23, 2008; Meanwhile, Conradin made himself another piece of toazzzzzzt.

A sketch show I follow did The Contest in the style of Hancock's Half Hour - an old British radio show featuring Tony Hancock, Sid James, Bill Kerr and Hattie Jacques. Hancock Half Hour was a kind of proto-Seinfeld - with Tony Hancock playing a version of himself surrounded by his stupid or scheming friends.

https://youtu.be/JJUJAbI2A4U

Contains references to British celebrities of the late 1950's which may be alarming, frightening or incomprehensible to young or American goons.

potee posted:

Maybe some people don't like you. I could see that.

What kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations. But what tempts you?

# ? Jan 6, 2016 19:44

LifeGetsWorser: Oct 23, 2010; Me "IRL"; Fun Shoe

Doubtful Guest posted:

What kind of man are you?

I like to think I'm pretty much like you - only successful.

# ? Jan 6, 2016 19:53

Ginette Reno: Nov 18, 2006; How Doers get more done; Fun Shoe

LifeGetsWorser posted:

I like to think I'm pretty much like you - only successful.

I'm not too worried about it.

# ? Jan 6, 2016 20:17

Red: Apr 15, 2003; Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

I wish I don't drop dead!

# ? Jan 6, 2016 20:21

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

LifeGetsWorser posted:

I like to think I'm pretty much like you - only successful.

So then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?" Yeah, well let me clue you in on something: There isnt.

I mean, what are you thinking about, LifeGetsWorser, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. "Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!" And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner? You talk about your day. "How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?"

It's sad, LifeGetsWorser. It's a sad state of affairs.

# ? Jan 6, 2016 21:53

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

potee posted:

So then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?" Yeah, well let me clue you in on something: There isnt.

I mean, what are you thinking about, LifeGetsWorser, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. "Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!" And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner? You talk about your day. "How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?"

It's sad, LifeGetsWorser. It's a sad state of affairs.

Well, we've officially bottomed out.

# ? Jan 7, 2016 00:28

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I haven't has a decent sandwich in thirteen years!

# ? Jan 7, 2016 00:36

LifeGetsWorser: Oct 23, 2010; Me "IRL"; Fun Shoe

TMMadman posted:

Well, we've officially bottomed out.

Hey, what about a guest host?

# ? Jan 7, 2016 00:43

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

LifeGetsWorser posted:

Hey, what about a guest host?

Franklin Delano Romanowski

# ? Jan 7, 2016 01:23

Rageaholic: May 31, 2005; Old Town Road to EGOT

LifeGetsWorser posted:

Hey, what about a guest host?

I'll pretend I didn't hear that :geno:

# ? Jan 7, 2016 04:25

Cape Cod Crab Chip: Feb 20, 2011; Now you don't have to suck meat from an exoskeleton!

Ehud posted:

I haven't has a decent sandwich in thirteen years!

No, no, no. Ehud let me tell you something. When I find something I like I stick with it. From 1973 to 1982 I ate the exact same lunch everyday. Turkey chili in a bowl made out of bread. Bread bowl Ehud. First you eat the chili then you eat the bowl. There's nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing nothing but a table.

# ? Jan 8, 2016 03:35

Root Bear: Nov 15, 2004; DARKEST SKETCH

Cape Cod Crab Chip posted:

No, no, no. Ehud let me tell you something. When I find something I like I stick with it. From 1973 to 1982 I ate the exact same lunch everyday. Turkey chili in a bowl made out of bread. Bread bowl Ehud. First you eat the chili then you eat the bowl. There's nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing nothing but a table.

You want bread? THREE DOLLARS! :mad:

# ? Jan 12, 2016 19:56

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Root Bear posted:

You want bread? THREE DOLLARS!

You're pushing your luck little man.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 23:37

Gyshall: Feb 24, 2009; Had a couple of drinks.
Saw a couple of things.

TMMadman posted:

You're pushing your luck little man.

You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!

# ? Jan 13, 2016 03:51

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

Gyshall posted:

You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!

Because... as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? :mad:

# ? Jan 13, 2016 16:29

mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

potee posted:

Because... as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown?

Yeah... in six games.

# ? Jan 13, 2016 17:58

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

potee posted:

Because... as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown?

I love the Drake! I'm looking forward to meeting the Drakette.

# ? Jan 13, 2016 18:10

Capt. Sticl: Jul 24, 2002; In Zion I was meant to be
'Doze the homes
Block the sea
With this great ship at my command
I'll plunder all the Promised Land!

Anyway, I want you to pick up this big screen TV,

AND

DE

LIV

ER

IT

TO HER

Do you think you can handle it?

# ? Jan 14, 2016 14:30

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

Capt. Sticl posted:

Anyway, I want you to pick up this big screen TV,

AND

DE

LIV

ER

IT

TO HER

Do you think you can handle it?

No. But two men could.

# ? Jan 14, 2016 14:38

Capt. Sticl: Jul 24, 2002; In Zion I was meant to be
'Doze the homes
Block the sea
With this great ship at my command
I'll plunder all the Promised Land!

That's my cabana shirt, you stole my shirt you son of a bitch!!

# ? Jan 14, 2016 15:07