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A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx
No patch this week :cry:

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Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.

Lowtax posted:

Okay I just started writing this two hours ago, so it's not near finished or edited, but feel free to have a preview of my Star Citizen article so far:

http://www.somethingawful.com/cms-preview/3.eb1fea423589/

Please do not share it since I'd rather have the finished one shared instead of this incomplete one. Any feedback or ideas would be great!

I hope there's an article on the fans of Star Citizen. Bunnydude needs his place in the sun.

Edit: The Space News Van.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

If that bust is "big", I apparently had had sex with a lot of freakishly deformed women. (Of course, this assumes Sandi IS a woman.)

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Samizdata posted:

Naaaaaah. Antonov An-225's exist. I am sure CIG has bought one.

$250M a pop. They need more backers.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

ShredsYouSay posted:

Make sure to use the really creepy one with the shrine and shaved head.

can't forget

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

Happy Sisyphus posted:

How much does Ben weigh?

more.

he weighs more.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
did they release that millionaire club yet?

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

A Neurotic Jew posted:

No patch this week :cry:



they should just state "WE NEED TO FIX EVERYTHING" weekly.

2DCAT
Jun 25, 2015

pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss

Gravy Boat 2k

Wafflz posted:

yeah a comment section will only add to the comedy

Yes, please this.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

It was a few hours later that she responded, although how she "just got this" after nearly a week is beyond me.

Damage control. The media (I sent that one guy to you btw) have been contacting them since the news broke on social media.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

A Neurotic Jew posted:

No patch this week :cry:



"we are confident in letting everyone know 2.1.0 won't go to Live this week."

great that they're confident in their ability to not deliver

guess they've had lots of practice

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Scruffpuff posted:

That last one is a perfect representation of the PTU.
The video that was posted earlier where a guy is in a space station when a ship bounces into it and then suddenly he's in the ship would make for a good gif. The caption reads, "Seamless transition from space station to ship. No loading screens!" Or something like that.

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007

6. Actors have agents therefore this can't be a scam.

If an actor is being paid, what the gently caress does it matter if it's a scam or not?

That whole thing, oh man. It is definitely a scam when someone sells you a digital thing that doesn't exist, and even if it comes to exist, you don't own it, and it stays within a gameworld you similarly don't own.

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

Thronde
Aug 4, 2012

Fun Shoe

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

"we are confident in letting everyone know 2.1.0 won't go to Live this week."

great that they're confident in their ability to not deliver

guess they've had lots of practice

:captainpop:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Lowtax posted:

Okay I just started writing this two hours ago, so it's not near finished or edited, but feel free to have a preview of my Star Citizen article so far:

http://www.somethingawful.com/cms-preview/3.eb1fea423589/

Please do not share it since I'd rather have the finished one shared instead of this incomplete one. Any feedback or ideas would be great!

I liked Mall Madness. Not enough Orange Julius in the real world. Shouldn't that be Mall 42 Commander though? Also, as a representative of goonhood, I want an Aviator to run into expensive ships, but only if I can get pilot goggles to put on my helmet and a white space scarf. Also, given their long pedigree in gaming excellence, shouldn't they include giant frogs? Also, can you only get the fake wood paneling with concierge level?

Futon is misspelled, BTW.

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

"we are confident in letting everyone know 2.1.0 won't go to Live this week."

great that they're confident in their ability to not deliver

guess they've had lots of practice

yet if you ask for a release date for either game....

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

A Neurotic Jew posted:

this.

I can't believe that they've been asked for comment from the media on this and said something that completely contradicts their own story up to this point. This is the most incompetent and uncoordinated PR staff I have ever seen. They're somehow going to snowball what should be a complete non-issue into a story.

Yes. It's par for the course.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Sarsapariller posted:

I ran an analysis on one of Chris's letters from the chairman:



Where do you get those?

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

Samizdata posted:

Where do you get those?

from the same guy who did the threat assessment on derek

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

Madcosby posted:

did they release that millionaire club yet?

from what I can tell it's just something loaded into the hangar that noone can actually visit. So there's a bouncer outside guarding a small empty room aside from an NPC bartender that you can't interact with.

If you didn't pay $10,000 you can just copy the contents into a file and load it up off-line, although why anyone would bother is beyond me.

It's poo poo.

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

A Neurotic Jew posted:

from what I can tell it's just something loaded into the hangar that noone can actually visit. So there's a bouncer outside guarding a small room with an NPC bartender that you can't interact with.

If you didn't pay $10,000 you can just copy the contents into a file and load it up off-line, although why anyone would bother is beyond me.

It's poo poo.

its literally a way for them to try to get people to spend 10k

Fractal Wave
Feb 7, 2009

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

"we are confident in letting everyone know 2.1.0 won't go to Live this week."

great that they're confident in their ability to not deliver

guess they've had lots of practice

No, they will proceed to release it tomorrow.

They have a tradition of being wrong on all dates concerning releases to maintain after all.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

D_Smart posted:

Damage control. The media (I sent that one guy to you btw) have been contacting them since the news broke on social media.

We're just talking about Gaming Media (I know, :lol: ) right? I mean even for them "Person is banned from forum" seems to be a complete non-story.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Samizdata posted:

Where do you get those?

http://www.ibm.com/smarterplanet/us/en/ibmwatson/developercloud/tone-analyzer.html apparently.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

No, poo poo you get for free

When you pay $10k, it's called Dreams

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Kakarot posted:

Looks like Lowtax pulled a Sandi

Nope. He can find out why he got banned pretty much instantly.

Wafflz posted:

I wonder if the CIG peon sandi "garbage person" roberts forces to read every post in this thread reports back on all the bad stuff that comes out about her here or if they are afraid to tell her

Now THERE is a job for me. I already spend too much time around here anyway. Getting paid for it (real money, thanks, not JPGs) would be awesome.

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe

SirPhoebos posted:

We're just talking about Gaming Media (I know, :lol: ) right? I mean even for them "Person is banned from forum" seems to be a complete non-story.

the real story is sandi gardiner, vp of marketing, failed actress, wife of the ceo, responding in the worst possible way to regular customer service emails. lol.

also i think two forbes tech guys picked up the escapist article, then was hammered by cultists, and the other did an article about the horrible community that is star citizen and they proved his point within the hour. lol.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Fractal Wave posted:

No, they will proceed to release it tomorrow.

They have a tradition of being wrong on all dates concerning releases to maintain after all.

To my knowledge, they yet have to break a single promise of non-delivery

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

Romes128 posted:

its literally a way for them to try to get people to spend 10k

I must say I was deceived by the amount of time they devoted to it at CitizenCon into thinking you would actually get to see other 10k backers when you went into the club. Like a safe space in the social module while the rabble down below blow themselves up with golf carts. Somehow they managed to deliver even less than that.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

A Neurotic Jew posted:

dsmart is gonna explode when he sees the last two pages of this thread haha.

I got wind of it last night actually. But in between sporting a massive boner from this latest reveal, while resisting the urge to post about it last night, instead of waiting for today (I just did), it has been rough.

Back in Sept when I said she was using backer funds for this poo poo, again, some people chose not to believe it. There is a movie she shot (for some Paris show) using staff and equipment and which I have seen and have access to. It is solid proof of this.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

:vince:

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

spacetoaster posted:

This is the analysis of Chris's letter/rant to the escapist mag.



While scanning that letter I forgot that Chris actually accused Derek Smart, and detractors (goons?), of trying to put 260+ people OUT OF A JOB. And to ruin THE DREAMS OF ALMOST A MILLION PEOPLE.

He really is going to lay any failure of Star Citizen at the feet of Derek Smart and, by extension, goons.

I think we all should invest in remote starters for our cars because we know these people are nuts.
I just ran one on Derek's blog.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I'm routinely impressed that people both think that everything Derek Smart is saying is fabricated/patently false, but that Beer was engaged in spreading corporate information he obtained from Derek Smart.

D_Smart is both sharing the truth but also lying about everything at the same time.

Bait and Swatch
Sep 5, 2012

Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread

Samizdata posted:

Nope. He can find out why he got banned pretty much instantly.

When is the goonmeet to discuss if he should stay banned? I won't contribute to the discussion, but I wrote a list of fart jokes to share

Spoiler alert, first one contains the words shart and citizen. It's a real doozy

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009



What I love about this is how blissfully unaware they are about how Twitter works (you can be searched despite a block), and that simply being blocked from a feed doesn't give you carte blanche to slander on the internet, or that their lame witticisms behind the doubtful safety of a nick are of such importance. It's so hilariously juvenile.

I'd also love to know exactly what DickWulf is asking in the repeated FOIC requests, since the answer is so very carefully "did not identify a record that would respond to your request". :allears:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Bait and Swatch posted:

When is the goonmeet to discuss if he should stay banned? I won't contribute to the discussion, but I wrote a list of fart jokes to share

Spoiler alert, first one contains the words shart and citizen. It's a real doozy

FINALLY! SOMEONE SAID IT!

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Unfunny Poster posted:

I'm routinely impressed that people both think that everything Derek Smart is saying is fabricated/patently false, but that Beer was engaged in spreading corporate information he obtained from Derek Smart.

D_Smart is both sharing the truth but also lying about everything at the same time.

It owns

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

AlmightyPants posted:

Also, I find it interesting that Chris and Sandi are merely leasing their Porsches and mansion. I assume that's so that when their assets are seized during the investigation proper, they don't lose any assets they own?

Yes. If you don't own anything (which, considering all the money they've made according to public records, they don't), there's nothing to seize.

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Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
35/divorced/high admiral/BWW*

lookin to collude

your ship or mine


*Big White Whale

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