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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:Once you complete basic training you only work one weekend a month, and most of that time you're drunk off your rear end. Well, let's see here. According to your background check, you've been in a mental institution, frequent problems with alcohol, beat up President Bush.
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Jan 7, 2016 03:42
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:Well, let's see here. According to your background check, you've been in a mental institution, frequent problems with alcohol, beat up President Bush. Former President Bush 
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Jan 7, 2016 04:37
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IMJack posted:Horseplay is down 40%, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all-time low... They've even begun blinking in unison! Say hello to our little genius, Martin, who looks even smarter in this vest and short-pant combination from Mr. Boy of Main Street. Or, how about little Lisa Simpson? She'll have no reason to play the blues in this snappy ensemble topped of with a saucy French beret that seems to scream, [French accent] "Silence!"
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Jan 7, 2016 04:45
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IMJack posted:Horseplay is down 40%, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all-time low... They've even begun blinking in unison! It's always the children's fault, isn't it, IMJack?
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Jan 7, 2016 04:48
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:Well, let's see here. According to your background check, you've been in a mental institution, frequent problems with alcohol, beat up President Bush. It also says that you once picked up a dog by its hind legs, and pushed it around like a vacuum cleaner.
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Jan 7, 2016 06:52
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TMMadman posted:It's always the children's fault, isn't it, IMJack? Well, something dug up my garden. 
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Jan 7, 2016 07:19
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DarklyDreaming posted:Former President Bush Hey! No one-termers! 
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Jan 7, 2016 13:52
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Root Bear posted:It also says that you once picked up a dog by its hind legs, and pushed it around like a vacuum cleaner. Don't worry, we'll get you a new dog - one with an untwistable stomach!
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Jan 7, 2016 14:05
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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:Don't worry, we'll get you a new dog - one with an untwistable stomach! We should feed him lots of eggs and olive oil to ensure a glossy coat. A dog like that you have to feed everyday.
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Jan 7, 2016 16:06
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York_M_Chan posted:We should feed him lots of eggs and olive oil to ensure a glossy coat. A dog like that you have to feed everyday. York_M_Chan, are you quite sure you know how to take care of a
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Jan 7, 2016 16:48
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TMMadman posted:York_M_Chan, are you quite sure you know how to take care of a I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar.
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Jan 7, 2016 16:53
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York_M_Chan posted:I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar. Isn't there a pound where you can pick up cheap ponies that ran away from home?
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Jan 7, 2016 17:40
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DarklyDreaming posted:Isn't there a pound where you can pick up cheap ponies that ran away from home? Isn't that cute? He's planning on joining the horsey set. That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it?
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Jan 7, 2016 17:53
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TMMadman posted:Isn't that cute? He's planning on joining the horsey set. That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it? With today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony
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Jan 7, 2016 18:00
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CatchrNdRy posted:With today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony I can't see the name of the station but the gas costs eight tenths.
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Jan 7, 2016 19:28
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TMMadman posted:Isn't that cute? He's planning on joining the horsey set. That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it? I have a horsey.... Neighhhh.... 
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Jan 7, 2016 20:14
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Jerusalem posted:What the hell is a pickabar? "I'm on my way!"  
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Jan 7, 2016 20:50
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Root Bear posted:I have a horsey.... Neighhhh.... ...pretty lame, Root Bear.
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Jan 8, 2016 02:29
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:I can't see the name of the station but the gas costs eight tenths. She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!
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Jan 8, 2016 02:52
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene! I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk for 4 gills of yours.
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Jan 8, 2016 04:09
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk for 4 gills of yours. My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it 
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Jan 8, 2016 04:18
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk for 4 gills of yours. A rather mediocre genius if ever I saw one
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Jan 8, 2016 09:30
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TMMadman posted:The following neighbourhood goons will not be killed by me: IMJack, The SituAsian…Doctor_Fruitbat, M Simpson, DrBouvenstein, that little baby Do over Ham. That is all. And dear god, please kill TMMadman. It's him or me, Lord!
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Jan 8, 2016 14:27
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Writer Cath posted:And dear god, please kill TMMadman. It's him or me, Lord! Well, Writer Cath, your uncle TMMadman used to have a saying ''Shoot 'em all, and let God sort 'em out. Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, let's never speak of him again.
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Jan 8, 2016 15:23
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The Nastier Nate posted:Well, Writer Cath, your uncle TMMadman used to have a saying ''Shoot 'em all, and let God sort 'em out. "Uncle TMMadman" sounds so formal. Do you think you could call him "Unky TMMadman"?
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Jan 8, 2016 16:48
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Skeesix posted:A rather mediocre genius if ever I saw one 
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Jan 8, 2016 23:34
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Writer Cath posted:And dear god, please kill TMMadman. It's him or me, Lord! The Nastier Nate posted:Well, Writer Cath, your uncle TMMadman used to have a saying ''Shoot 'em all, and let God sort 'em out. York_M_Chan posted:"Uncle TMMadman" sounds so formal. Hello. I am TMMadman, or as some of you wags have dubbed me, Father Goose. You know, everybody believed the worst about me right away; nobody cares that I didn't do it. But I didn't! OK, look: I've done some bad things in my life, but harassing women is not one of them. Like one time, we were having this race with this stupid old timey bicycle with the big wheel in front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and... INNOCENT! TMMadman fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Jan 9, 2016 |
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Jan 8, 2016 23:59
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We are the mediocre Presidents. You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents. There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes, There's William Henry Harrison. I died in thirty days! We... Are... The... Adequate, forgettable, Occasionally regrettable Caretaker Presidents of the U.S.A.!
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Jan 9, 2016 16:34
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Do over Ham posted:We are the mediocre Presidents. We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say If you want to drink beer, well Duff's the only way! I said the only way! Break down!
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Jan 9, 2016 23:49
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Class3KillStorm posted:We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say Hey Huck Finn, what's L.I.N.C.O.N. doing here?
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Jan 10, 2016 01:27
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Class3KillStorm posted:We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say  Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress?  I'm not garbage...♪ ♪ I'm an Amendment-to-beeee, Yes, an Amendment-to-be, And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify meeeee. ♪ ♪ There's a lot of flag burners, who have got too much freedom, I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em. 'Cuz there's limits to our libertieees At least I hope and pray that there are, 'cuz those liberal freaks go too faaaarrrr. Well, why can't we just make a law against flag burning? Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution— Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws! Now you're catching on!♪ ♪ What if people say you're not good enough to be in the constitution?♪ ♪  Then I'll crush all opposition to meeeee,And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay. If he fights back, I'll say that he's gaaaayyyy. ♪ ♪  Good news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the U.S. Constitution!Oh yeah! Doors open, boys!   
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Jan 10, 2016 04:15
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We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little 
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Jan 10, 2016 04:56
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There's a helpful bear on the 28th floor~
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Jan 10, 2016 05:45
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Deviant posted:There's a helpful bear on the 28th floor~ Hmmm, what would Curtis E. Bear do in this situation?
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Jan 10, 2016 06:56
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IMJack posted:Hey Huck Finn, what's L.I.N.C.O.N. doing here? He sold poison milk to schoolchildren.
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Jan 10, 2016 09:44
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CatchrNdRy posted:He sold poison milk to schoolchildren. 
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Jan 10, 2016 16:42
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Deviant posted:There's a helpful bear on the 28th floor~ 
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Jan 10, 2016 17:22
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CatchrNdRy posted:He sold poison milk to schoolchildren. Rats? I'm outraged! You promised me dog or higher!
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Jan 10, 2016 18:48
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The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog! D - O - G!
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Jan 10, 2016 19:39
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog! D - O - G! No dogs were harmed in the making of this quote thread. A cat got sick and somebody shot a duck but that is it.
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Jan 10, 2016 19:40
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