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IllegallySober posted:This is good. What concrete mechanisms do you have in place to keep you from drinking? (not just "I won't") Horking Delight posted:Is it correct to say you've used 90% of your eating out dollars as of the end of Monday? Incorrect. We went out for our 5 year anniversary which was that 90%, but we have $55 in gift cards for a restaurant. Plus I have around $30 in visa gift cards if it's really coming down to it. Plus discretionary. SiGmA_X posted:I haven't looked at your budget yet, too busy at work. But I wanted to say/ask 4 things: - Thanks. - I'm not exactly sure. I guess I thought a change in approach could help at this point. - Poorly. I need to move the weights inside still, as they've been made inaccessible regularly by weather. - Yep yep if I can find someone. There is something I'd like to talk with a therapist about actually, and it has to do with some of what I heard a family member talking about above. n8r posted:What about this change is strategy will work when your other attempts have failed? A change in budgeting strategies and a promise to stay sober are both things that have failed multiple times in the past. The next most logical step is to seek professional assistance. Sobriety isn't even something I caused myself to want this time. I personally feel like I have a relatively small problem with alcohol (it is there), but it's mostly seeing other people drunk that made me turn away this time. People get loving stupid and say some really hosed up things when they're drunk. I don't want to be like that. I've said this before, but I like being sober. I like having control of myself.
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Jan 6, 2016 17:53
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Order another debit card? Like a regular person would? Stop using the credit cards. If you truly don't need the credit don't give yourself the opportunity to backslide.
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Knyteguy posted:Incorrect. We went out for our 5 year anniversary which was that 90%, but we have $55 in gift cards for a restaurant. Plus I have around $30 in visa gift cards if it's really coming down to it. Plus discretionary. So is it more correct to say that you count gift cards as free money that doesn't need to be budgeted and are not basing your budget categories around what you expect to spend in that category for a given month? Do you understand that this is an example of the "playing shell games with your money" tendency that people have complained about before? (Sorry, I'm not trying to be a downer right away and I am really happy to see you posting again, but it's disappointing to see you still struggling with certain bad habits.)
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Jan 6, 2016 18:57
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First it was not having the physical insurance cards in hand, then you claimed the holidays prevented looking, now it's that you can't find a specialty that you like. Avoidance, avoidance, avoidance. I'm curious, does your wife buy this bullshit? I mean, you're not even creating convincing lies. You don't need some hard to find specialist, anyone with ADOA certifications is going to be very familiar with impulsivity, lying, avoidance ect. Stop lying, everyone sees right through you and no one believes anything you say.
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Jan 6, 2016 21:35
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Is this not the age of the internet? Is there no such thing as video conferencing or telephone therapy?
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Jan 6, 2016 21:54
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:I'm curious, does your wife buy this bullshit? I mean, you're not even creating convincing lies. I'm fairly sure Janus is totally on board with this in some capacity or another. They are enabling each other when it comes to the spending and decision making. They both need to #1 acknowledge that they have a problem and #2 seek professional help.
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Jan 6, 2016 22:06
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Nocheez posted:Is this not the age of the internet? Is there no such thing as video conferencing or telephone therapy?
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Jan 6, 2016 22:20
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:First it was not having the physical insurance cards in hand, then you claimed the holidays prevented looking, now it's that you can't find a specialty that you like. Avoidance, avoidance, avoidance. I'm curious, does your wife buy this bullshit? I mean, you're not even creating convincing lies. Back off. I don't need to justify my own non-financial processes here. Edit: look if you're trying to help with the therapy stuff, I can promise that saying I'm avoiding, and lying, and even being impulsive doesn't help. Help me focus on the financials again for the moment while I work on the other stuff, if you want to help. I'd like to point out that I was seeing a therapist just 6 months ago or so (so yes my baby was born), and many here didn't like what he had to say. Horking Delight posted:So is it more correct to say that you count gift cards as free money that doesn't need to be budgeted and are not basing your budget categories around what you expect to spend in that category for a given month? Well two of the gift cards are for a specific restaurant. I don't really feel like I should budget for that, but correct me if I'm wrong. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 6, 2016 |
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Jan 6, 2016 22:30
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GWM: This month I am going to use gift cards for the $100 of restaurant spending I have budgeted. The $100 'saved' will be used to pay down debt. BWM: This month I am going to use $100 in gift cards that doesn't 'count' and still spend another $100 on restaurants. Note: The whole 5 year anniversary meal sure did sneak up on you, no way you could plan ahead for / budget for that.
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Jan 6, 2016 22:41
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n8r posted:GWM: I did budget for it. We're not over in restaurants.
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Jan 6, 2016 22:44
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Your budget says "I'm going to spend $100 dollars on eating out," but you're saying "I'm going to spend more than $100 dollars on eating out and not count it because reasons". The budget represents what you're going to spend, not "how you're going to pay for it". What I would have done if I were you, assuming I had exactly the same spending plan, would be "My eating out budget is 155 (55 of that is from a restaurant gift card I can only use for eating out, and the budget is higher than usual because we have our 5-year anniversary coming up). My stupid-discretionary-overages budget has $30 in it from a visa gift card and is for covering me if I go over my discretionary and still want something. I'm treating it as a windfall." (Better would be n8r's suggestion but you're behaving as if you think you wouldn't be able to avoid using it as free money, so the least you could do is account for it.) EDIT: To clarify, your gift card in this situation is currently "hidden" money, because it is not accounted for anywhere in your budget but is still being spent.
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Jan 7, 2016 00:02
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Knyteguy posted:Incorrect. We went out for our 5 year anniversary which was that 90%, but we have $55 in gift cards for a restaurant. Plus I have around $30 in visa gift cards if it's really coming down to it. Plus discretionary. Your thinking is still incredibly flawed. You are defending having spent to the limit on restaurants while there are 25 days left in this month. Historically you have spent up to or over this limit, and there is essentially the entire month left in front of you. In other words, you have two options: don't eat out again this month (or try and do only what you can cover with the gift cards), or keep to old habits and start cutting into discretionary.* The ultimate problem is that in both scenarios you will feel deprived - either you can't eat out like you are used to, or you end up depriving yourself of something you want that you would have paid for from discretionary.** And, historically, every plunge you've taken over the last two years can be traced back to you believing that you are owed because you deprived yourself. Also, as far as I can see, we are entering another turn on the turn-style of the boom-bust KG cycle. We've gotten over our last rage-athon of your overspending with you sulking for a few months. You have not come back with a renewed sense of commitment and have glommed onto what you think this time will fix everything (Dave Ramsey). You have already set yourself up in month one to feel deprived. By March/April I can almost predict the next PS4/Camero/gaming rig/side-of-the-road BBQ***/single item clothing washing machine*** because drat you were so good and gave up so much and just tried so hard, drat it! You are the definition of insane: trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Try therapy. * $85 will still not cover your usual restaurant spending, though you are trying to convince yourself it will. ** There is the very real possibility he will just overshoot the budget by spending over on discretionary (c.f. previous shell games), but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he actually wants to not overspend this month. *** Not an actual purchase, but did have to be talked out of it.
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Jan 7, 2016 00:45
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Meh I got a $60 gift card for best buy at Christmas. I didn't count it as income to budget or take it out when I spent it. Maybe you can spend less and do the GWM thing but I really don't see it as a problem honestly. I mean when my girlfriend pays for stuff I don't split out what I would have paid and take it off my budget, that is just dumb. Honestly if I was KG I would say here is what I am going to spend and try my best to be under it. As long as that budget brings him happiness and puts him on a path to have debt paid off in a time frame he is happy with who cares. He tried the frugal as crap BS and that was crash and burn. If he sticks to the budget is a 24 month payoff that much worse than a 18 month payoff? His budget has never been realistic and if he sets it realistically then good and move on. As long as it is in the black I don't care how much he spends.
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Jan 7, 2016 01:54
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spwrozek posted:If he sticks to the budget is a 24 month payoff that much worse than a 18 month payoff? His budget has never been realistic and if he sets it realistically then good and move on. As long as it is in the black I don't care how much he spends. And stop making excuses and see a shrink. It's fun! Just like working out. Do the latter 3-5 days a week at a minimum. Don't be an average depressed fat American! Endorphins are awesome drug (alcohol, whatever) replacements, too.
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Jan 7, 2016 03:33
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Aagar posted:Your thinking is still incredibly flawed. You are defending having spent to the limit on restaurants while there are 25 days left in this month. Historically you have spent up to or over this limit, and there is essentially the entire month left in front of you. In other words, you have two options: don't eat out again this month (or try and do only what you can cover with the gift cards), or keep to old habits and start cutting into discretionary.* I wasn't planning on buying a side of the road bbq. That was more of a hey this would be cool to do in my golden years. I get where you're coming from on the restaurants. I think we've been doing pretty well for the past month and a half or so now. Boom-bust sure. I'm hoping that I can keep up the boom this time. I'm doing a bit more to help some of the negative feelings that came with this before. I'm also not doing this for the thread any longer. I'm doing it for myself. I don't really care what the forums think of me anymore. Some individuals, sure, but as a whole not really. This process has thickened my skin a bit which is a good thing. spwrozek posted:Meh I got a $60 gift card for best buy at Christmas. I didn't count it as income to budget or take it out when I spent it. Maybe you can spend less and do the GWM thing but I really don't see it as a problem honestly. I mean when my girlfriend pays for stuff I don't split out what I would have paid and take it off my budget, that is just dumb. I hadn't even thought to budget with a gift card. A gift card has a lower real value than the equivalent amount in cash for nearly every store-tied gift card, and I don't really think that a Christmas gift should be used with the purpose of being responsible. HOWEVER - we have like $100-$200 in Walmart gift cards, so we'll use that for grocery shopping this month. I'll simply rollover whatever we have left in groceries to next month rather than budgeting the gift cards in YNAB. Horking Delight posted:Your budget says "I'm going to spend $100 dollars on eating out," but you're saying "I'm going to spend more than $100 dollars on eating out and not count it because reasons". The budget represents what you're going to spend, not "how you're going to pay for it". What I would have done if I were you, assuming I had exactly the same spending plan, would be "My eating out budget is 155 (55 of that is from a restaurant gift card I can only use for eating out, and the budget is higher than usual because we have our 5-year anniversary coming up). My stupid-discretionary-overages budget has $30 in it from a visa gift card and is for covering me if I go over my discretionary and still want something. I'm treating it as a windfall." (Better would be n8r's suggestion but you're behaving as if you think you wouldn't be able to avoid using it as free money, so the least you could do is account for it.) I think I met a happy medium with this advice with the Walmart gift cards outlined in the post above. I'm willing to be challenged on that though. SiGmA_X posted:This. It's not that easy. Everyone wants to assume I'm making excuses. I'd rather hear "why are you having a hard time?", because I would answer: "office hours". All but 1 or 2 psychologists are in Reno. I live in Sparks, specifically a suburb of Sparks which is about 20-30 minutes from Sparks itself, which is about 10-30 minutes from Reno depending on traffic. I get off at 5:00pm, and there's no way I could make it on my lunch break. One guy has office hours until 7:00pm and he's in Sparks, but I've seen him and I don't think he would help me. MOST have office hours until 6:00pm. The guy I was seeing has office hours on Saturdays, but I don't feel like I'd benefit from him further. So, I've explained myself, and I will be happy to update the thread when I find someone I can work with. Until then I don't see the need to answer further inquiries regarding this, unless it regards to advice on the above paragraph, which I'd genuinely like to hear about.
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Jan 8, 2016 19:34
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New job outline (wife and I collaborated) - Starting March 15th (enough time to potentially get that potential bonus potentially) I will be applying heavily to remote jobs and the very few local jobs I can find. If I get a nice bonus and/or raise I may stay. I will do this until September 15th. If by September 20th I have no confidence in finding something remotely or local any longer, then I will start to expand my job search to the Seattle area. Since December 8th there have been exactly 2 posts in the software section of Craigslist here in Reno, and a little over 200 in Seattle also since December 8th. If by October 15 I have no confidence in finding something in Seattle any longer, then I will start to expand my job search to the SF Bay area. The SF Bay are has had roughly 500 job postings in software in December 8th. If I can't find something by November 15th, then I will look into starting a consulting gig or something. I don't think I'll reach this point. Our lease is up December 1st. So schedule: March 15th - September 15th Local/Remote jobs September 20th - October 15th Seattle jobs October 15th - November 15th SF Bay area jobs November 15+ I'm starting a software consulting or SaaS business. Perhaps Austin/Vegas in there too with SF Bay.
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Jan 8, 2016 19:44
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Knyteguy posted:If by September 20th I have no confidence in finding something remotely or local any longer, then I will start to expand my job search to the Seattle area. Since December 8th there have been exactly 2 posts in the software section of Craigslist here in Reno, and a little over 200 in Seattle also since December 8th. Craigslist is terrible for jobs. Use Indeed or some other job search engine. Any reason you can't start applying for jobs that really interest you right away? Not saying you have to go all out, just check every other day and if anything interesting comes up, apply to it. Nothing says you have to wait until you get your raise to look elsewhere.
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Jan 8, 2016 20:38
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Knyteguy posted:
So, I'm not sure I'd consider "we're treating it as free, invisible cash but we're gonna treat it as free grocery cash" to be a happy medium between "windfalls are free and don't have to be budgeted" and "windfalls should be put completely in savings/debt repayment". Do you think that throwing the gift cards in as extra income, adding it entirely to the grocery budget (so your budget would go to 600 instead of 400 or something), and then recording your spending even if it's spent off the gift card, and still doing the rollover is too... complicated or something? Which it very well might be; I've never used YNAB, but it's way more complicated than what I do. Anyways, I think that would be a happier medium. You can still use it however you want. What I want is for you to have an accurate record of how much money you intend to spend this month and how much money you have already spent so far. I don't care that much about what those numbers actually are, as long as you're not breaking your budget. By not budgeting your spending, it becomes confusing for people who are trying to figure out how much you're spending/what you have left for the month (see: "So you have 8 dollars left in your eating out budget?" "No, I have 60-90, but the budget doesn't know about it"), and it's important to know "how much do I have left" for planning the rest of your month. For Bay Area jobs, use LinkedIn and get in touch with recruiters or whatever. Or StackOverflow's job postings section or any of the other tech websites that have job postings.
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Jan 8, 2016 20:49
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I sometimes get small Visa gift cards from work. If I spend them at the grocery store, I first add them as income to whatever credit card I use there. Then if I spend $25 from a gift card and $75 on my card, I put in $100 and $100 is taken from my grocery budget. It's not hard and has a lot of advantages. The biggest one is that next month when I look at what I've spent on groceries in the previous months, that amount is real. In 6 months you'll look at gift card month, forget about the gift cards, and say "well I only spent $200 on groceries in January so I can obviously do that again". This obfuscation had been a huge, huge issue for you throughout this thread. Track what you actually spend in their actual categories or your data is useless.
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Jan 9, 2016 00:11
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You can also just apply directly to companies. I got my job with Amazon by applying to their student recruiting link on their main jobs page. If you want to go to Seattle, find out what companies have offices there* and apply at them. But keep in mind that Seattle is an expensive metro, getting enough space there for 3 people and 4 (?) pets will probably cost you a pretty penny unless you can tolerate a long commute. * off the top of my head: Amazon, MS, Zillow, Expedia, Hulu, Zulily, Facebook, Google, Apple, and I know I'm missing tons. Cicero fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Jan 9, 2016 |
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Jan 9, 2016 00:12
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Disney, redfin, nintendo as well. Husband recently applied for a position off all their websites and received callbacks pretty quickly for phone screens. Recruiters are really on the ball right now because everyone is competing for talent.
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Jan 9, 2016 00:38
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detectivemonkey posted:This obfuscation had been a huge, huge issue for you throughout this thread. Track what you actually spend in their actual categories or your data is useless. If only I could emptyquote this repeatedly.
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Jan 9, 2016 01:14
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Knyteguy posted:New job outline (wife and I collaborated) - if you want to stay local check meetup.com for software dev focused meetups. introduce yourself and try to make friends with as many people as you can. don't even bother with craigslist
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Jan 9, 2016 05:59
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detectivemonkey posted:This obfuscation had been a huge, huge issue for you throughout this thread. Track what you actually spend in their actual categories or your data is useless. Yup, this. There's a reason this keeps coming up.
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Jan 9, 2016 06:05
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detectivemonkey posted:I sometimes get small Visa gift cards from work. If I spend them at the grocery store, I first add them as income to whatever credit card I use there. Then if I spend $25 from a gift card and $75 on my card, I put in $100 and $100 is taken from my grocery budget. It's not hard and has a lot of advantages. The biggest one is that next month when I look at what I've spent on groceries in the previous months, that amount is real. In 6 months you'll look at gift card month, forget about the gift cards, and say "well I only spent $200 on groceries in January so I can obviously do that again".
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Jan 9, 2016 18:04
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Cicero posted:But keep in mind that Seattle is an expensive metro, getting enough space there for 3 people and 4 (?) pets will probably cost you a pretty penny unless you can tolerate a long commute. I just want to highlight this as someone who relocated to Seattle. Yes, the jobs pay well, and it was the right decision for my family, but it was drat near impossible to find a place to live that would accept our 3 pets. Most rentals have a hard limit of 2 pets. And you really should rent for a year to get the lay of the land, figure out the kind of neighborhood you'd want to live in, and understand how traffic works around here. If you wanted to buy a house, decent houses with acceptable commutes typically cost over $500,000 and the market is fiercely competitive. Like "cash offer, write a heartfelt letter to the seller about why you're the perfect buyer, and waive inspections" kind of competitive.
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Jan 9, 2016 20:48
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LoreOfSerpents posted:write a heartfelt letter to the seller about why you're the perfect buyer No joke, people actually do this in Seattle. The hard limit of two pets in a rental is real too. Also, OP, I didn't mean to discourage you from the Dave Ramsey plan. It is solid and it worked great for me. However, at some point you will need to stop changing gears and actually grind out some results. That will matter far more than the particulars of your plan.
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Jan 10, 2016 02:24
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Can you just do one thing consistently for 6 months? I think you'll be surprised how that works out for you.quote:Knyteguy's Finances: More harebrained schemes than a sitcom dad I mean I want to find what works for you, but you still treat budgeting and "meeting your financial goals" like dieting. You try some crazy scheme / fad diet which nets you a little bit of progress and then you eat fast food for two weeks straight and can't understand why you haven't lost weight. It's not about getting a better job (not saying you shouldn't do this) or doing the Dave Ramsey Method or the YNAB approach or the Mint or or or or or or or or or or or Budgeting is like dieting. If you want to lose weight you need to burn more calories than you consume. If you want to "get ahead financially" you have to spend less money than you earn. I'm in no way advocating that you shouldn't look for a better job, but man you could really gently caress yourself up pretty quickly if you move to somewhere with a higher cost of living even if you're earning more money especially considering your wife just got her foot in the door for an "office job". I think it'd be great if you going forward anytime you wanted to buy something >$100 you posted in the thread about it and then didn't actually buy that thing until your post turns 30 days old. This isn't in anyway to get feedback from the forum on whether or not it's a good purchase (and I'd be willing to commit to making 0 comments about these purchases), but more about you documenting your desire for an item and then giving yourself a cool down period before buying. Hopefully this would curb impulse purchases and help you realize that you don't need a lot of the things you want to buy "in the moment" Good luck man - I'm pretty much stepping out of your thread for 2016 because if 2014 and 2015 are any indication you don't really want anyone's help anyway.
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Jan 10, 2016 04:06
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Bugamol posted:I think it'd be great if you going forward anytime you wanted to buy something >$100 you posted in the thread about it and then didn't actually buy that thing until your post turns 30 days old. This isn't in anyway to get feedback from the forum on whether or not it's a good purchase (and I'd be willing to commit to making 0 comments about these purchases), but more about you documenting your desire for an item and then giving yourself a cool down period before buying. Hopefully this would curb impulse purchases and help you realize that you don't need a lot of the things you want to buy "in the moment"
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Jan 10, 2016 05:54
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Old Fart posted:This is the best idea in the thread. I think it would have the opposite effect. The more time Knyte has to think about a purchase, the more he can convince himself he needs it. And then he won't save anything, buy it anyway and say "What? We've been planning this for a month!"
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Jan 10, 2016 15:03
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April posted:I think it would have the opposite effect. The more time Knyte has to think about a purchase, the more he can convince himself he needs it. And then he won't save anything, buy it anyway and say "What? We've been planning this for a month!" It's definitely possible it could have this effect, but I think more often than not if he actually sat on purchases for 30 days he's forget he even wanted it in the first place. And if he "planned for it for 30 days" at least it maybe somehow made it into his napkin budget. As opposed to just coming into the thread and saying "HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT DON'T WORRY THOUGH WE'LL MAKE UP FOR IT NEXT MONTH!"
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Jan 10, 2016 18:17
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Bugamol posted:It's definitely possible it could have this effect, but I think more often than not if he actually sat on purchases for 30 days he's forget he even wanted it in the first place. This is my entire Amazon wish list. I see things I want, add it to my wish list, then leave it be. I find that most of the time, they're just things I want, but not necessarily need, and the impulse to buy them goes away. I tend to update the list, getting rid of stuff I no longer care to have. Edit: I meant to ask how the smoking thing was coming along.
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Jan 11, 2016 02:01
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With enough time not posting, and enough drama about limiting the areas where advice can be given and arbitrary definitions about what is and is not within the areas where advice can be given, you too can derail a thread from unanimously concluding that you need therapy and all financial advice is pointless until you get your head right.
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Jan 11, 2016 16:10
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Dwight Eisenhower posted:With enough time not posting, and enough drama about limiting the areas where advice can be given and arbitrary definitions about what is and is not within the areas where advice can be given, you too can derail a thread from unanimously concluding that you need therapy and all financial advice is pointless until you get your head right. I'm open to advice; I just get annoyed when it gets said over and over. I guess it's a flaw of mine. foxatee posted:This is my entire Amazon wish list. I see things I want, add it to my wish list, then leave it be. I find that most of the time, they're just things I want, but not necessarily need, and the impulse to buy them goes away. I tend to update the list, getting rid of stuff I no longer care to have. I kinda do this with the "save for later" feature from the cart. I don't find online shopping to be much of a big deal for me really. In fact just generally shopping hasn't been much of a deal lately. I have really wanted to get some things setup lately, and I feel like I've done it pretty well ie in a frugal manner. I'll expand on this later. Smoking - I'm not trying it still. My smoking habit pisses me off (I hate being beholden), but alcohol by far is the more important thing to me right now, so I'm focusing on alcohol at the moment. This is something I learned from an alcohol counselor back in the day. 17 days sober. What's cool is drinking didn't even pop into my mind this past weekend. Normally I'm wanting a few beers or a 375ml of Fireball on Fridays. Makes me sick to think about it still for personal reasons. April posted:I think it would have the opposite effect. The more time Knyte has to think about a purchase, the more he can convince himself he needs it. And then he won't save anything, buy it anyway and say "What? We've been planning this for a month!" I'd actually appreciate the input. If nothing else I could get some help on how to budget for it... But yeah I could also see how it could potentially make me think about it more, rather than being a passing want. I'll do a second post in a little bit to hit the posts above these I wanted to reply to. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jan 11, 2016 |
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Jan 11, 2016 17:48
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Knyteguy posted:I'm open to advice; I just get annoyed when it gets said over and over. I guess it's a flaw of mine.
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Jan 11, 2016 18:50
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Jose Valasquez posted:Have you considered the reason advice gets said over and over? Of course.
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Jan 11, 2016 18:55
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Knyteguy posted:I'm open to advice I think you acknowledge the value in being open to advice and that you hold it as an aspiration. But part of being open to advice is trying new things that might not seem intuitively sensible to you. I think your behavior demonstrates that every piece of advice offered has to go through rigorous analysis and still bear a significant probability of rejection. Now, to completely throw caution to the wind and follow every piece of advice every person on the internet throws your way would be disasterous, so you shouldn't go there, but you reject lots of low hanging fruit too. With seeing a psychologist, what would it REALLY cost you to go to a psychologist once apart from your time and your insurance co-pay? Is the total cost of seeing a psychologist sufficient that a hoard of people who apparently have your best interests at heart, telling you to go do it consistently since early November, commensurate with your refusal to do so? If it's not commensurate are you behaving in a manner which is open to advice?
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Jan 11, 2016 20:09
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I'm pretty sad about the smoking thing. I remember when you decided to quit, but kept coming up with why you couldn't that day (I think it was something to do with your boss being away), so you were going to quit [date]. And we all kept saying that was bullshit and if you wanted to quit, you'd do it now. We knew you weren't going to quit when you said you would, but I think we really had hopes you'd prove us wrong. Edit: I do want to say that I'm extremely proud that you're giving up drinking. My parents drank in social settings, but after the divorce, my mom just became a drunk. It seemed like every weekend she was wasted. I don't know what made her ease off the sauce, but I'm glad she did. I got tired of helping her up the stairs and holding her hair while she puked. Whatever reason you found, hold onto that poo poo. foxatee fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Jan 11, 2016 |
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Jan 11, 2016 22:02
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Dwight Eisenhower posted:I think you acknowledge the value in being open to advice and that you hold it as an aspiration. But part of being open to advice is trying new things that might not seem intuitively sensible to you. I think your behavior demonstrates that every piece of advice offered has to go through rigorous analysis and still bear a significant probability of rejection. I think you're correct. I'm not averted to seeing a psychologist. However I did outline why the time and stress cost of that is high (especially to start). It will very likely cost me an hour+ a week that I'll need to negotiate with my boss to actually hit office hours. I'm not unwilling to do that, but I do need to figure out exactly what that's going to take. I dunno I guess keep hounding me if you guys want and I'll try to figure it out. What I want out of it mostly is to build a lot of willpower. I want to be an iron-willed mother fucker. Bugamol posted:Can you just do one thing consistently for 6 months? I think you'll be surprised how that works out for you. Moving for a job - Frankly I don't really want to. It's just getting to the point though where I feel like I'm really hindering my career by not relocating. I have committed to a six month search here in town and remotely first though. There were some great posts on resources to use to look for jobs, so I'll begin looking there. I believe that Reno will have its time as a relatively tech-friendly place, but it's not here yet. Gigabit internet will help (that's coming this year, so I'll need to readjust the budget for that). eBay and Apple are opening data centers here, Tesla is building their factory just outside of town, etc. I'll trial the $100 thing. As of now I can't think of anything worth listing right now that I'd seriously consider purchasing. I'll update when I do. Thanks for the well wishes. There's too many job posts to quote, but thanks for the resources and information. Working at Nintendo would be rad I'm sure my kid would love that as he gets older. Plus there's some uncle works at Nintendo jokes in there too. I'd also love to work for a big tech firm like Facebook/Amazon/Microsoft or something. One of the reasons I think it's time to move on, is because I'm veeerrry stuck in my knowledge and responsibilities here at this point. I've lost much of the personal growth I was getting for the first couple of years. It's like getting to the point where I feel like I need to move on or go to college for something else and get out of software. I do want to hit this specific post, because I'm not sure what to think about the situation: Inept posted:Any reason you can't start applying for jobs that really interest you right away? Not saying you have to go all out, just check every other day and if anything interesting comes up, apply to it. Nothing says you have to wait until you get your raise to look elsewhere. Secondly and the point where I could really use some input is regarding the bonus. My boss said I'll be taken care of in March. I would absolutely hate to miss out on a very nice bonus by leaving too soon, but there's no guarantee that a bonus would be very nice. What I'm thinking is that I could catch the bonus (apply it to debt), and then begin the process of moving jobs. foxatee posted:I'm pretty sad about the smoking thing. I remember when you decided to quit, but kept coming up with why you couldn't that day (I think it was something to do with your boss being away), so you were going to quit [date]. And we all kept saying that was bullshit and if you wanted to quit, you'd do it now. We knew you weren't going to quit when you said you would, but I think we really had hopes you'd prove us wrong. Yeah I'm disappointed in it as well. I'll quit soon. I'm not sure if this is confirmation bias or what, but I did just find this: http://www.quityoursmokingaddiction.com/return_of_the_lost_energy.php I'm hoping that my energy problems from the past year or so have to do with smoking and drinking again. Because I do feel constantly drained. Probably part baby, part smoking, and part drinking. I feel like the obvious answer is quitting the baby.  Thanks agreed on the alcohol part. This time it's less about how it's affected me, and more about how I've seen it affect other people. That's a first. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:11 on Jan 11, 2016 |
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Jan 11, 2016 22:09
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A psych appointment is just as medically necessary, and no different than physical therapy or ongoing treatments that are routinely accomidated by employers. The two hours that you might miss can easily be made up that evening or spread out over the week. Don't use a lack of evening hours as an excuse. Excuses are done, you can do this.
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Jan 11, 2016 23:05
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Horking Delight posted:So, I'm not sure I'd consider "we're treating it as free, invisible cash but we're gonna treat it as free grocery cash" to be a happy medium between "windfalls are free and don't have to be budgeted" and "windfalls should be put completely in savings/debt repayment". Do you think that throwing the gift cards in as extra income, adding it entirely to the grocery budget (so your budget would go to 600 instead of 400 or something), and then recording your spending even if it's spent off the gift card, and still doing the rollover is too... complicated or something? Which it very well might be; I've never used YNAB, but it's way more complicated than what I do. Anyways, I think that would be a happier medium. You can still use it however you want. detectivemonkey posted:I sometimes get small Visa gift cards from work. If I spend them at the grocery store, I first add them as income to whatever credit card I use there. Then if I spend $25 from a gift card and $75 on my card, I put in $100 and $100 is taken from my grocery budget. It's not hard and has a lot of advantages. The biggest one is that next month when I look at what I've spent on groceries in the previous months, that amount is real. In 6 months you'll look at gift card month, forget about the gift cards, and say "well I only spent $200 on groceries in January so I can obviously do that again". Gift card stuff I meant to reply to also. Alright well I will budget the gift cards in as income this evening or tomorrow (I'm not even sure what their exact values are). I believe we have around around $75 in restaurant gift cards, and as I said $100-$200 or so in Walmart gift cards which we can use for groceries. Not promising I'll always move forward this way with all gift cards... but I'll at least give a try this time. Robo Boogie Bot posted:A psych appointment is just as medically necessary, and no different than physical therapy or ongoing treatments that are routinely accomidated by employers. The two hours that you might miss can easily be made up that evening or spread out over the week. Don't use a lack of evening hours as an excuse. Excuses are done, you can do this.
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Jan 12, 2016 01:55
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