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When I was a kid I called mashed potatoes "clouds." Because they are white and fluffy. And tortellini soup was "ears" because it looked like a bowl of severed ears to me. My mom even adopted my weirdness, she'd be like "I'm making ears for dinner tonight" or "do you want any clouds on your plate?"
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Dec 27, 2015 09:40
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| # ? May 12, 2024 07:22 |
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Friend's daughter, 3. Points down a completely dark hallway and says to Dad "They're coming." 2 days later , same spot, she says "You can scare them away, Daddy." Actually, I haven't got any messages from him for a few days..
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Dec 27, 2015 09:52
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Kevyn posted:When I was a kid I called mashed potatoes "clouds." Because they are white and fluffy. Most parents find themselves learning as many words from their kids as vice versa. Just easier than arguing with them.
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Dec 27, 2015 17:16
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Got to tell my almost-four-year old about death. She suggested I could have a new papa. The next day, I mentioned I was sad. "Now you have no papa and no grandma" "Sweetie. That's not very nice." "You only have a mama. When will you not have a mama?" 
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Dec 28, 2015 00:09
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My kid is weird. Smart, but weird. Despite barely saying anything at 19 months with regularity, he knows how to navigate my iPad or iPhone to YouTube despite it being in different locations and folders on each, and click to his favorite shows. As long as it is unlocked. He also somehow plays clash of clans because I am always noticing gems missing. I mentioned how he teabags me before, but another weird one is how I will take a piss and he will loving run from where ever he hears it and bash through the door, get next to the wall and the toilet, watch me pee in the toilet then look up at me with this craziest loving smile. I don't know what to think anymore.
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Dec 29, 2015 08:00
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Kevyn posted:And tortellini soup was "ears" because it looked like a bowl of severed ears to me This reminds me a night when I was 9 or 10 where, after watching a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode, I declared that the waffle fries we had with dinner looked like skin grafts. I'm not sure my past self was actually wrong.
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Dec 29, 2015 09:05
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my son (age 3): momma, I have a a surprise for you! the wife: for me? son: yeah, but it's a secret, ok? you can't tell anyone about your surprise, which is a secret, ok? the wife: ok, I won't tell anyone about my secret surprise son: good. because if you tell anyone, I will hunt you down. little kid is hardcore...
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Dec 29, 2015 18:34
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My 1 yr old son, having watched both my wife and me turn the XBone/TV off and on using voice commands now yells "OFF!" at anything with a large enough screen. He does it in a slightly exasperated tone as well since my wife can't get the phrasing right sometimes or it doesn't recoginze her Jersey accent.
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Dec 29, 2015 19:44
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Colton posted:my son (age 3): momma, I have a a surprise for you! So what was the surprise?
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Dec 29, 2015 21:46
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Spalec posted:So what was the surprise? hey, she promised she wouldn't tell! 
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Dec 29, 2015 22:04
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3-4-year-old at work tonight: "When I big I gonna have a real gun.' This was in response to me asking what he drew at the coloring table.
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Dec 30, 2015 00:37
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I just remembered this: apparently when I was a preschooler, I kept asking my parents if I could go to "Egg-pit." I had only just started to figure out how to read and they soon realized that "Egg-pit" was how I interpreted the word "Egypt." Luckily for my parents there was a nearby museum with a bunch of Egyptian antiquities, which saved them an international trip.
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Dec 30, 2015 03:41
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Astrofig posted:3-4-year-old at work tonight: "I'm going to sacrifice you with a gun." 5 year old "Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!" Another 5 year old a few days earlier. "All of the people [in Syria] are leaving their planet because everything there is blowing up." 4 year old
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Dec 30, 2015 04:03
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tribbledirigible posted:My 1 yr old son, having watched both my wife and me turn the XBone/TV off and on using voice commands now yells "OFF!" at anything with a large enough screen. We had some friends over watching football and they brought their two year old son along. The two year old got off the couch and our dog immediately jumped up and took his place, so we taught him to say "off" and point at the ground to make the dog jump off the couch. He did, and the dog jumped off. The kid then proceeded to walk around the room sternly telling everybody "off" and pointing at the floor.
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Dec 30, 2015 04:19
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it came from tumblr:dakotaaaa posted:my youngest sister was trying to express that someone died with her limited child vocabulary and what she finally said was “his ghost fell out”
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Dec 30, 2015 23:40
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My 5 year old daughter last night: "You just got to get it wet and pray to God." In reference to me trying to hang a window decoration with a very torn and ripped suction cup.
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Dec 31, 2015 00:08
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Sex Hobbit posted:it came from tumblr: How does a child have the vocabulary and conceptual understanding to describe a ghost/spirit without knowing the word "dead" or at least a euphemism like "passed away?" Or am I misreading the intention of the quote? (i.e. the girl is trying to explain the concept of death) Or am I too jaded by the stdh thread?
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Dec 31, 2015 00:59
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sweeperbravo posted:How does a child have the vocabulary and conceptual understanding to describe a ghost/spirit without knowing the word "dead" or at least a euphemism like "passed away?" Assuming the kid has a religious family, she'd probably have had death explained to her as the soul/spirit leaving the body, and from that it's not a huge leap to "his ghost fell out."
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Dec 31, 2015 01:49
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Kids misinterpret religious stuff all the time. As a child, I was taken to some christmas or easter thing in church and they had a youth pastor who showed these cartoony pictures of Jesus entering Nazareth with the palm leaves and the donkey & all that, and there's an apostle or someone watching from a tree. "Look at the monkey!" one of the kids yelled.
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Dec 31, 2015 03:34
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Keystoned posted:Right this second im in the movie theatre bathroom with my five year old. The guy on the stall next to us has very loud gas and my son is losing his goddamn mind laughing like crazy. Every time the guy farts he goes into another bout of laughter. I can't imagine trying to keep some composure while a 5 year old also is also laughing.
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Dec 31, 2015 03:40
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Okay, I'm a teacher, I have a billion of these. I taught third grade last year. Paper introductions: Everybody has a birthday if they're born. Do you have a birthday? Well, I do! Have you ever done something that almost killed yourself? Have you ever almost drowned in a pool? Have you ever almost died? I have, by a fleamarket. Have you ever fell off your Tia's truck? Paper Conclusions: So I told my mom if I was a psychic but she said no one was and I was confused but I just flowed with it.
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Dec 31, 2015 06:20
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When I was a kid my mum tried to explain God to me and said something like 'He's a great power'. So naturally I assumed it was electricity.
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Dec 31, 2015 06:28
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Snapchat A Titty posted:Kids misinterpret religious stuff all the time. So do adults. Not something my son said, but something he did. My wife has taken the kids up North for christmas with her parents, and due to a cyclone the weather has been really lovely up there. So most of their fun activities this year have been indoor stuff. They went to this place called "Monkey Business" I think it was, it's basically a big playground/kids entertainment complex indoors. Our youngest loves the ball pit, which is fair enough, but our eldest who is 4 just wanted to dance. I was sent video of him grooving his little heart out on Facebook, and I'll be damned if he isn't really quite good. I have no idea where he learned any of that, (he was pulling hip-hop moves and some terribly cute faux breakdancing stuff) and he has the beat nailed down. Blew me away.
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Dec 31, 2015 09:05
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WeaponGradeSadness posted:Assuming the kid has a religious family, she'd probably have had death explained to her as the soul/spirit leaving the body, and from that it's not a huge leap to "his ghost fell out." Death in cartoons is also often depicted as a ghost leaving the body.
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Dec 31, 2015 09:32
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Also X s on the eyes
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Dec 31, 2015 09:54
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The other day my sister let her two daughters go out to play in the snow/slush while wearing boots, hats, and jackets over their pajamas. Ten minutes later the four year old comes back in the house with mud all over her pajama pants and says "by accident I had too much fun!"
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Jan 1, 2016 22:39
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I've got a few from my youngest sister and cousin over the holidays: The first few come courtesy of a map I managed to dig up when she was skeptical that most of the world was water. What you must know was that this's grandma's map, and was old enough to have the soviets and east and west germany, and one big korea. It's a really loving old map. Naturally, the first thing I noticed was it still said "USSR" over Russia.  "Oh, this is a pretty old map, that says the soviet union, but that's all gone now." "All gone?" "Yep, all gone." "...Then it really IS full of water!"It took me a few seconds to realise she'd made the jump from "there's lots of water" and "there's no more soviet union" to "the entire landmass of the soviet union has been replaced with water since this map was drawn"  I also showed her the UK specifically. She' s only wee and she thinks that basically the entire rest of her family lives up with grandma like I do. We've told her they're not here, but I think she conceives of that like "They're off at the shops right now" and not "They're in different counties entirely for several months". But, one thing I often tell her is that my girlfriend's off "near scotland". So...  "And up here's scotland!" "Is that where [your girlfriend]'s house lives?"Finally, at the dinner table, she got really obsessed with the christmas candles, and demanded we turn the lights off. Grandma related how, during the blitz, candles were all they had when it got dark, which lead to us trying to explain the concept of WW2 to a toddler, especially since she's been told all my tank models have "telescopes" on them.  "There were some very bad people and there was a big fight all across the world" "Even at my house..?!"Then there's my cousin. He's a few years older than my sister, and has just started school. Naturally, I figured that'd be a good topic of conversation, but he told me he didn't go to school. At least until I had to go help him get his shoes on:  "Spec, can I tell you a secret" "...Sure?" "Promise you won't tell." "Okay." "I do go to school really."And then we had the trailer incident. The kid's obsessed with the new pixar film "The Good Dinosaur", so we all had to get youtube up and watch the trailer. When it starts, he starts shushing everyone, and we watch in rapt silence, and all go "Ooh" and "Aah!" at appropriate moments. Then, halfway through:  "You do know it's all just drawings right?"
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Jan 2, 2016 02:34
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My son (20 months) has started talking. He knows some words, but not always the context. However, sometimes he gets it so spot on its crazy. He doesn't say " mom, dad, milk..." Whatever. We learned what words he can say the following ways: One night, just before going to bed, my wife grabbed the iPad he was using to watch his videos. He looked at her and shouted "WHY!?" Another night, he was happily watching some countin show or whatever on the iPad when he rips a loving full grown man sized fart. Without missing a beat he says "Uh-Oh!" Turns out it wasn't just gas. He says other things that are crazy to us, like "what's this?" And "Apple" but doesn't communicate quite as much as we thought he would by now. I think it's because it's a dual language household. He's smart, he can navigate my iPad and iPhone from any screen, find YouTube in whatever folder I have it in, and find his shows. He also essentially skipped his crawling phase and went right to walking. Just doesn't speak coherently yet. He blabs a lot of gibberish though.
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Jan 10, 2016 09:22
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I'm not a parent, but maybe one of their first words "apple" or maybe "youtube" has something to do with it. I just had the apple II and win 3.1/dos at age 6 or so. Kids these days. I really like the phrase, "their ghost fell out" it's too bad it's impolite to use unless you are describing fictional characters, it definitely came from cartoons. Quaint Quail Quilt has a new favorite as of 10:45 on Jan 10, 2016 |
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Jan 10, 2016 10:41
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He says Apple because of a phonetics song. He calls balls apples, because Apple, and a ball sound the same to him I guess. He doesn't say YouTube though.
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Jan 10, 2016 10:45
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Soulex posted:He says Apple because of a phonetics song. He calls balls apples, because Apple, and a ball sound the same to him I guess. He doesn't say YouTube though. Or because they're both round. An apple is a kind of ball.
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Jan 10, 2016 15:24
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Seriously, like any alphabet toy or game for toddlers that doesn't restrict itself to animals for their pictures will use Apple for A. Probably because it's a common enough fruit that most kids will figure out what it is quickly. Some time like 15 years ago or so, toy manufacturers discovered the X-Ray Fish (a fish whose bones are visible naturally) and thanked the stars that they had something else besides Xylophone to put on that letter. What's funny is my kid had some toys that instead of Quail for Q would have Quetzel, a South American bird, and every adult that looked at it would be like "what's a Quetzel??"
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Jan 11, 2016 01:29
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Choco1980 posted:Seriously, like any alphabet toy or game for toddlers that doesn't restrict itself to animals for their pictures will use Apple for A. Probably because it's a common enough fruit that most kids will figure out what it is quickly. A lot of ESL alphabet materials produced outside English-speaking countries will use a word that has X at the end, like fox. Occasionally, though, they just ignore it altogether. I used to visit kindergartens in Japan on a bi-weekly basis to play English games with the midgets and one location had a beautiful alphabet chart with NO X ON IT. The kids would ask me where the X was and I would usually say it went to fight Iron Man or something. Luckily, when you have forty three-year-olds in a single room, the subject changes quickly.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:53
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Xenomorph.
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Jan 11, 2016 05:06
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Dabir posted:Xenomorph. For the record, I realize this is not from a real kids learning tool, but if it had been when my kid was of that age, my ex wife and I would have killed to have it for him. (we're both horror junkies)
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Jan 11, 2016 06:37
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"Uncle Whiteyfats, why are you fat?" ~pause~ "Are you fat?"  My then four year old nephew.
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Jan 14, 2016 19:58
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Quote is not edit.
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Jan 14, 2016 19:58
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My daughter has on multiple occasions over the past few months stated that her favorite super hero is "Darth Vader!"
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Jan 17, 2016 23:19
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Apparently, my 5 year old daughter overheard my watching Blazing Saddles last week, as she just came up to me and asked me to sing a "Good old n***** work song. " Ooops.
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Jan 18, 2016 00:18
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Axiem posted:My daughter has on multiple occasions over the past few months stated that her favorite super hero is "Darth Vader!" I was walking a coworker's 5 yo kid to the bathroom at work a few months ago and making small talk with her as we went down the hallway. "What's your favorite animal?" "A peacock." 
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Jan 18, 2016 00:33
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