The Last Dog: Doobie Saga: the final chapter.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Last Dog: Doobie Saga: the final chapter.

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

WhyFoxy posted:

Did soundmonkey ever explain why he started a campaign to help doobie? Of all the charity to choose from, why did he pick this guy?

Didn't it happen organically in some thread where people were making fun of stupid kickstarters and then people started to say hey, why not actually support this silly dude, and then soundmonkey started the main thread from there?

# ? Jan 10, 2016 08:12

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# ? May 31, 2024 17:03

TheRecogScene: Aug 22, 2010; I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

OctoberBlues posted:

Didn't it happen organically in some thread where people were making fun of stupid kickstarters and then people started to say hey, why not actually support this silly dude, and then soundmonkey started the main thread from there?

IIRC one of the major motivators behind it was Noni, who had two major posts about it - one that was quoted on the first page of the original thread, and one made in that thread, that really push the idea of hot-dog-shaped-time-machines to bring childhood wonder to Reform, Alabama. They read like a motivational speech from a particularly silly B-movie.

Noni posted:

I think we've all been there, jobless with nothing but a bucket of hotdogs, a block of processed cheese, a van, an American flag, and a goddamn dream.

Or at least that was my initial impression. Since the campaign started, the guy has actually built his kitchen (look at the updates!), done some hotdog catering, set up his entire supply chain, and he appears to have his budget planned very well, albeit with the help of "How to Start a Hotdog Cart" eBooks. He's got a dream, man, and none of us and not even the devil himself is going to be able to stop him. Unlike a lot of crappy Kickstarters, I believe this is going to happen with or without our funding. This guy is Forrest Gump and his shrimping boat/hotdog stand might as well be built right next to the Field of Dreams. I don't mean to imply that he's an idiot, but that I admire his blind confidence and hotdog faith.

I come from Hipsterville where we only eat hotdogs ironically, as a joke, so that other people can look at us and say "Haha. That's hilarious. Let me take an Instagram of that. Imagine if you ate hotdogs and actually liked them." So this campaign touches me in ways both mystical and nostalgic. It makes me yearn for the days when I could eat bad food unironically and wear plaid because it's warm and because lumberjacks are cool, not because I'm trying to convey some dumb hidden message. Every time you eat a hotdog, you get to become a kid again for two minutes.

The hotdogs are hilarious, but I genuinely hate it when people get flak for "trying too hard." We badly need more people who try too hard. It's the most foolish insult to say, "I dislike you because I dislike effort." We are a generation of people who were told their entire lives by nurturing, caring, hippie parents they we are all geniuses. Every boy a wonderboy. Every child above average. But rare is a parent who doesn't care about test scores and IQs, but instead praises their kid only for trying and failing. Effort, man. Effort. That matters so much more than innate intelligence, than knowledge, than wit. You should try to do new things even when (hell, especially when) you think you will fail. This man is trying hard, with all his might, for an aspiration that isn't even lofty. It's humble man wanting for a reachable goal involving the most meager of foods in the tiniest of towns in the poorest of states.

Yeah, I'll be damned if I'm going to dislike a guy for trying too hard. It's apparent that he has turned to crowdfunding only because he has already put every spare dollar he owns into this business. I might not believe in the superior deliciousness of Doobie's hotdogs, but I want to believe in them. And I would eat one.

Another thing is that this appears to be a very small town where the median household income is 20 grand and the most prominent restaurant is a Subway. A hotdog stand, of all things, could affect real change there. It's a good story: The unfeeling internet hordes pulling together to fund a rural hotdog stand in Reform, Alabama. That is something I want to be part of. "Doobie's Dog House" is a name worthy of headlines. I want confused journalists to try to figure out what the gently caress happened, why it happened, and how they can possibly convey the idea of crowdfunding to their readers. It'll be like when CNN tries to explain memes. At the very least, this has the potential to make an entire town wonder about Something Awful. Someday, I would like to drive to Doobie's Dog House, eat a hotdog, and think of goons.

To finally answer your question about our motivations, it's definitely the third option. We are good and bad meats processed together and extruded as 6 foot tall tubes, both cynical and kind, complicated and salty. Goons are actual hotdogs. I pledged $25 for both entertainment and charity. If this works and there's a hungry Alabama goon who wants my hotdogs, they can have them. Just please take pictures so it's like a child sponsorship charity, only for meat tubes instead of impoverished children. If the Kickstarter fails, then I will have paid nothing and told a guy that I admire his efforts and his gumption.

Noni posted:

This is magical. I personally did a complete 180 on this Kickstarter. A few weeks ago, I absolutely tore into his hotdog pictures and then I gradually became entranced, curious, filled with nostalgia and warm fuzzy feelings for this Alabama Hotdog Man's humble project.

I think what we've all discovered is that it's representative of something much greater.

He's not a goon. Nobody here knows the hotdog guy. Heck, I don't even know if he has yet heard the name "Somethingawful." I suppose that is part of the beauty of this.

We haven't talked too much about the town where this Kickstarter is from, but I think that's part of the story: Reform, Alabama. Named apparently by an irate preacher. Population: 1675. Median household income: $15k. 45% African Americans. It has a a Dollar General, a Subway, a small grocery store, and some gas stations. Google maps comically labels nothing but three cemeteries and an airport.

It's like a place we all picture in our minds when we think of proverbial small town America. Heck, if you walk the town there are American flags down the entire stretch of the road. But this place has lost a fifth of its population in 10 years. Incomes, already poverty-line, have dropped 25% in a decade. Exactly a year ago, a storm wrecked the place. It decimated a thrift store (now rebuilt) that is right next to where Doobie's Dog House will be located. I tell you all of this just to make a round-about point: A humble hotdog stand, of all the things in the world, could help this town. It could affect real change.

Hotdogs are hilarious. They're also universal, a sort of basic meat currency. And they're edible time machines. They bring us back to child-like states of glee and energy. If you eat a hotdog, you get to travel back to an age when you thought that anything was possible, you could do anything, you could become anyone.

Reform, Alabama could probably use a few hotdog-shaped time machines.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 09:06

Michael Bayleaf: Jun 4, 2006; Tortured By Flan

OctoberBlues posted:

Didn't it happen organically in some thread where people were making fun of stupid kickstarters and then people started to say hey, why not actually support this silly dude, and then soundmonkey started the main thread from there?

yeah and now stupid weirdos have been posting about it for years

# ? Jan 10, 2016 09:09

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Lord Binky posted:

yeah and now stupid weirdos have been posting about it for years

I hope to one day be one of those stupid weirdos!

edit: I only don't qualify now because of the "years" part

# ? Jan 10, 2016 09:14

jenny jones fan: Dec 24, 2007

jjd74 posted:

Need to sale a car?

This never fails to make me laugh for some reason.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 09:24

Dely Apple: Apr 22, 2006; Sing me Spanish Techno

Official thread theme 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQJvyesk7r8

# ? Jan 10, 2016 13:02

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

WhyFoxy posted:

Did soundmonkey ever explain why he started a campaign to help doobie? Of all the charity to choose from, why did he pick this guy?

He felt a subconscious calling from his retarded brethren

E: lmbo at those Noni posts

bradzilla fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jan 10, 2016

# ? Jan 10, 2016 13:44

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

I remember there was a South American hotdog guy that some Doobsters chucked money at after Doobie proved to be a fuckup. A sort of anti-Doobie if you will. It was a micro loan rather than a donation though. I wonder what happened to him and his hotdog business...

# ? Jan 10, 2016 14:11

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

dooboe is literally retarded, like his iq is so low doctors have a medical term and its retarded, which is what dooby is

# ? Jan 10, 2016 15:31

Halah: Sep 1, 2003; Maybe just another light that shines

Enfield posted:

dooboe is literally retarded, like his iq is so low doctors have a medical term and its retarded, which is what dooby is

Yeah, but he's owned so many people on this forum the Haus qualifies as a plantation.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 16:03

GAYS FOR DAYS: Dec 22, 2005; by exmarx

I'm glad others gave money to this idiot so I could watch the saga unfold before my eyes.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 16:15

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

Enfield posted:

dooboe is literally retarded, like his iq is so low doctors have a medical term and its retarded, which is what dooby is

He's a retard who made 80K a year before he quit his job to work for sub minimum wage in the dogshack

He also thanked hotdogprofits.com which I reckon gave him the idea

If you think about it hotdogprofits really ruined his life, goons only enabled him

I'm glad he's branching out now. Got to diversify your portfolio Doobs

# ? Jan 10, 2016 16:17

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

Berious posted:

He's a retard who made 80K a year before he quit his job to work for sub minimum wage in the dogshack

He also thanked hotdogprofits.com which I reckon gave him the idea

If you think about it hotdogprofits really ruined his life, goons only enabled him

I'm glad he's branching out now. Got to diversify your portfolio Doobs

I don't think ol Doobster has earned 80k totally in his life, let alone per year.

No. 6 fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Jan 10, 2016

# ? Jan 10, 2016 16:20

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

Macaroni n Smegma posted:

at least he's got a consistent business model

I was gonna go post their Halloween pic but nothing can top this. Eventually he's gonna own the whole drat county

# ? Jan 10, 2016 17:41

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Dely Apple posted:

brake fluid topped off for extra!

that short block 350 looks plumb give out

# ? Jan 10, 2016 17:58

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

a starwar betamax posted:

that short block 350 looks plumb give out

I can't wait til Doob writes lonely stories about his potential customers going across the street to the gas station... again

# ? Jan 10, 2016 18:03

Jukeboxblues: Jul 29, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Doobie doobie dooo keep making strange, bad and seemingly unrelated life choices because this man is my hero.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 18:03

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

Jukeboxblues posted:

Doobie doobie dooo keep making strange, bad and seemingly unrelated life choices because this man is my hero.

He's pretty smart, he managed to guilt an entire town into buying his crappy food until he got it afloat enough to have someone else make it

# ? Jan 10, 2016 18:05

Jukeboxblues: Jul 29, 2015; Grimey Drawer

CrashCat posted:

He's pretty smart, he managed to guilt an entire town into buying his crappy food until he got it afloat enough to have someone else make it

Yeah but he still makes weird decisions, and it's great.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 18:07

Puppy Galaxy: Aug 1, 2004

Doobie owns and operates two successful small businesses.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 18:56

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Puppy Galaxy posted:

Doobie owns and operates two successful small businesses.

Job creator.

# ? Jan 10, 2016 20:07

Lord of Pie: Mar 2, 2007

always liked the original coat of bad frogger green on the ol dog shack

# ? Jan 10, 2016 20:13

Elwood P Dowd: Jan 4, 2003; Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.

jjd74 posted:

http://m.yelp.com/biz/west-alabama-automotive-reform

Doobs reviewing himself and giving the dog house a plug.

Fortunately you can report reviews to Yelp to get them pulled

# ? Jan 10, 2016 20:29

Egbert Souse: Nov 6, 2008

Puppy Galaxy posted:

Doobie "owns" and "operates" "two" "successful" small "businesses."

# ? Jan 10, 2016 23:22

von Braun: Oct 30, 2009; Broder Daniel Forever

He seems to have it together

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:04

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Bregor posted:

Great pic Doob, keep on slingin' them dogs

Wait, those dogs and buns are the same size. :raise:

What happened to classic 2.0 dogs?

Remember when he shrunk the buns and claimed his customers liked it that way? Did the buns get longer again, or did the meat get smaller to match the buns?

LOL, dogs keep shrinking but the high prices stay the same.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:44

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

GrimGypsy posted:

does anyone have a link to the last and/or best doober thread?

Last one is here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749058&pagenumber=1 The deceptive title made it hard to find.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:46

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

^^^ I think those were his "footlongs" which he started offering on the old dogs. He just stopped offering footlongs altogether after a while because who would buy that poo poo all flapping out of the bun.

Some people are insulting the doobiepedia but I'm for it, I've been riding the doob train since near the start and it's great to check it out and be reminded of items that the Doobster came up with while in his empty shack that he posted and forgot about the same day, such as:

http://doobies-doghouse.wikia.com/wiki/BBQ_Chicken_Pup

http://doobies-doghouse.wikia.com/wiki/Garlic_Parmesan_Chicken_Sandwich

And let not forget the all-you-can-eat pinto beans, cornbread and raw onion for $5.50:

Has Doobie ever taken a photo of a customer who looked like they were enjoying being forced to take part in social media while just trying to eat their overpriced meal?

The Saurus fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Jan 11, 2016

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:49

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

The Saurus posted:

Some people are insulting the doobiepedia but I'm for it

lmao

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:05

smoobles: Sep 4, 2014

is it true that doobie is a racist

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:10

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

^ probably, but he only publicly goes after the gays

as someone who never wrote on the Doobiepedia, this is my favorite page: http://doobies-doghouse.wikia.com/wiki/CrashCat

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:11