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Robo Boogie Bot posted:A psych appointment is just as medically necessary, and no different than physical therapy or ongoing treatments that are routinely accomidated by employers. The two hours that you might miss can easily be made up that evening or spread out over the week. Don't use a lack of evening hours as an excuse. Excuses are done, you can do this. I also make going to the gym three days a week part of my schedule. No excuses, I make sure to go. You're lucky and your job requires you between X and Y vs X and "when it's done!", so you shouldn't have any excuses to not being able to schedule around everything. Especially the drat gym being you bought equipment!
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Jan 12, 2016 02:09
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Knyteguy posted:
Get back on MFP. Baby aside, I'm going to assume you're eating poorly since you're not logging on MFP anymore. I immediately notice poor sleeping / energy when I'm eating like garbage. It's like night and day. Give it a shot.
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Jan 12, 2016 03:37
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You don't get it. The job where he's underpaid and is doing the boss a lot of big favours by sticking around just isn't able to be negotiated whatsoever, not even for a medical appointment. But his boss totally loves him and has his back and is looking out for him, for realz yo.
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Jan 12, 2016 05:44
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Knyteguy posted:Secondly and the point where I could really use some input is regarding the bonus. My boss said I'll be taken care of in March. I would absolutely hate to miss out on a very nice bonus by leaving too soon, but there's no guarantee that a bonus would be very nice. What I'm thinking is that I could catch the bonus (apply it to debt), and then begin the process of moving jobs. If he hasn't given you a ballpark other than "bonus!" along with all of the other poo poo your boss has pulled, I'd say there's a good chance it will be under 1k. If you find a job that pays you 10k a year more in February, you're still ahead. That's why I said you don't need to go all out applying, but if something sounds like a good improvement, don't waste more of your life at your dead end job.
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Jan 12, 2016 18:57
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Everyone I've ever worked with who says "I'm going to wait until x review or x bonus and if it doesn't go favorable I'm going to leave" has never actually left when those things go unfavorable. It's just an excuse to put it off.
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Jan 12, 2016 22:32
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I think your substance abuse problems would be greatly helped by seeing a CBT therapist about impulse control, as well as your spending. Spending can be a sort of addiction. You seem to have a problem with saying "no" to yourself.
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Jan 12, 2016 22:53
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SiGmA_X posted:THIS. I work 40 (LOL optimistic) to 55 hours a week, with last week being the first I have missed my therapy appt due to work. And we scheduled around it being I knew the first week of the year was a nightmare (it was - 66.17hr, which is slightly understated cuz I worked an extra hour+ from bed Monday...). Even though my work is insanely time demanding normally, my boss knows to not expect me in the office after X o'clock X days per week. Except for the first week of the month, no questions about it I leave early to see my shrink. Got the gym setup yesterday. I did a workout last night, and a little this morning. We ended up putting it in the bedroom because I'm not mud bogging through the backyard every time I work out. It feels good feeling sore again. Thanks for the pressure I probably would have continued waiting. dreesemonkey posted:Get back on MFP. Baby aside, I'm going to assume you're eating poorly since you're not logging on MFP anymore. I immediately notice poor sleeping / energy when I'm eating like garbage. It's like night and day. Give it a shot. Probably the wrong subforum, but the one problem I had with MFP in regards to counting calories is that it seems to reward prepackaged/store bought meals. I had trouble whipping something up and then figuring out the calories in it. Any input? I can ask in YLS also. Old Fart posted:You don't get it. The job where he's underpaid and is doing the boss a lot of big favours by sticking around just isn't able to be negotiated whatsoever, not even for a medical appointment. Alright. What are you suggesting? I can't remember what was said before. Inept posted:If he hasn't given you a ballpark other than "bonus!" along with all of the other poo poo your boss has pulled, I'd say there's a good chance it will be under 1k. If you find a job that pays you 10k a year more in February, you're still ahead. That's why I said you don't need to go all out applying, but if something sounds like a good improvement, don't waste more of your life at your dead end job. Bugamol posted:Everyone I've ever worked with who says "I'm going to wait until x review or x bonus and if it doesn't go favorable I'm going to leave" has never actually left when those things go unfavorable. It's just an excuse to put it off. I'll go ahead and start looking again then. BarbarianElephant posted:I think your substance abuse problems would be greatly helped by seeing a CBT therapist about impulse control, as well as your spending. Spending can be a sort of addiction. You seem to have a problem with saying "no" to yourself. I've definitely felt this way about spending when I was drunk. "I want to go spend some money woo". Stupid. It didn't really ever happen because my wife would say no, but still, stupid. Yeah as I said I'll need until Thursday to start calling around to see what's going on wrt therapy. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jan 13, 2016 |
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Jan 13, 2016 01:07
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Knyteguy posted:Probably the wrong subforum, but the one problem I had with MFP in regards to counting calories is that it seems to reward prepackaged/store bought meals. I had trouble whipping something up and then figuring out the calories in it. Any input? I can ask in YLS also. Measure all the ingredients, figure out the calories, divide it by servings. In fact, these days the website will let you put in a recipe and will look up the ingredients for you and you just have to tweak it and confirm that it found the right ingredients.
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Jan 13, 2016 01:21
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Good work re gym! I'm working on getting out of work in time to hit the weights tonight too. Shooting for 4 days this week, Friday run, Saturday weights, and Sunday run. I don't run distance, just 1-2mi. My dog and I are out of shape cardio wise (so for him, entirely  )
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Jan 13, 2016 01:26
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Jose Valasquez posted:Measure all the ingredients, figure out the calories, divide it by servings. I'll perhaps give it a shot again. I lost 60 lbs before without counting calories, so I'm confident I can give it solid run again like before. SiGmA_X posted:Good work re gym! I'm working on getting out of work in time to hit the weights tonight too. Shooting for 4 days this week, Friday run, Saturday weights, and Sunday run. I don't run distance, just 1-2mi. My dog and I are out of shape cardio wise (so for him, entirely Thanks. Re: running - man I can't do that anymore. It's too rough on my knees anymore for sure. Years of stupid teenage antics and probably running itself has started to catch up with me  .I applied for like 5 jobs on Indeed. It always annoys me when a software job has you require a resume, and then you have to fill out an entire form anyways (kind of like that minimum wage thread explains). I pushed through a couple, and I found a nice opportunity actually that could be a good fit. We'll see.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:00
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Knyteguy posted:Probably the wrong subforum, but the one problem I had with MFP in regards to counting calories is that it seems to reward prepackaged/store bought meals. I had trouble whipping something up and then figuring out the calories in it. Any input? I can ask in YLS also. If you get your recipes online for the things you are "Whipping up" you can actually go to MFP, under Food, click Recipes, and then you can paste a direct link to the recipe and MFP can do some magic to try to calculate rough calories. Note this is not always perfect as it screws up the ingredients sometimes, so u have to pay attention to what you are doing, BUT it's pretty drat close. I use it and have lost 6lbs since the new year.
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Jan 13, 2016 16:41
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DogsCantBudget posted:If you get your recipes online for the things you are "Whipping up" you can actually go to MFP, under Food, click Recipes, and then you can paste a direct link to the recipe and MFP can do some magic to try to calculate rough calories. Note this is not always perfect as it screws up the ingredients sometimes, so u have to pay attention to what you are doing, BUT it's pretty drat close. I use it and have lost 6lbs since the new year. Congrats that's awesome. I'll have to check out the recipes import thing, because that sounds nice. Before I'd make like burritos and finally just resign myself to choose "generic burritos", which obviously won't be very accurate. Got a company that wants to interview me. They're a national company and their corporate headquarters are near Reno. 45 minute to 1hour 10 minute one way commute depending on traffic and accidents (assumedly). I'll call sometime this afternoon. I've also been contemplating scrimping pennies and starting a freelance business, and seeing if I could feasibly move to that full time by Fall instead. I'll continue thinking about this.
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Jan 13, 2016 19:03
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Knyteguy posted:I've also been contemplating scrimping pennies and starting a freelance business, and seeing if I could feasibly move to that full time by Fall instead. I'll continue thinking about this. Write up a business plan.
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Jan 13, 2016 19:24
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I thought you already had a side business? Also, I'm really tired of you saying " I've done it before, so I'm sure I can do it again." It seems like every time you say that, you don't actually do it again.
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Jan 13, 2016 19:37
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n8r posted:Write up a business plan. This and make it a 5 year plan. If you don't goal set it won't matter at all.
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Jan 13, 2016 19:39
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n8r posted:Write up a business plan. Tigntink posted:This and make it a 5 year plan. If you don't goal set it won't matter at all. Alright. I know that for something so drastic I'll need a rock solid plan if I'm going to do it. I'll look into seeing what I'd need to do for that this evening if I get a chance (ie not working late). foxatee posted:I thought you already had a side business? Also, I'm really tired of you saying " I've done it before, so I'm sure I can do it again." It seems like every time you say that, you don't actually do it again. My side business is pretty weak. My microscope sales have started to see competition especially in pricing, and at the volume I get it's really not worth it. My web hosting does OK for what it is. I did an SSL install yesterday that cost me $8 and 30 minutes of time, and I'll bill $50 for that. I also have a recurring client @ $75/mo, which is like $40/mo gross income after costs. Easy money, but obviously that's not enough to make a real impact. Fair point on the repetition. I have said that a lot.
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Jan 13, 2016 19:54
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That length of commute really sucks a lot. I have a 40 minute bike commute and it already kind of sucks, but at least it doubles as exercise. 2 hours every day in the car sounds like a recipe for getting fat.
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Jan 13, 2016 20:19
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Yeah, but Knyteguy rents so he could move closer when his lease is up if that doesn't affect his wife's commute too much and the job is worth it.
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Jan 13, 2016 20:42
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Why wait until his lease is up? At just $40 per half hour (rounded down from $42) it would be stupid not to break his lease and move closer now. He's literally losing $3,200 every month to his commute.
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Jan 13, 2016 21:02
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bringer posted:Why wait until his lease is up? At just $40 per half hour (rounded down from $42) it would be stupid not to break his lease and move closer now. He's literally losing $3,200 every month to his commute. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
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Jan 13, 2016 21:17
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bringer posted:Why wait until his lease is up? At just $40 per half hour (rounded down from $42) it would be stupid not to break his lease and move closer now. He's literally losing $3,200 every month to his commute. I wasn't sure if it was satire until I realized you said per half hour. detectivemonkey posted:Yeah, but Knyteguy rents so he could move closer when his lease is up if that doesn't affect his wife's commute too much and the job is worth it. True true. This does have some added costs though. Estimated additional costs 1) We could move into the area near my wife's work which would cut around 35 minutes from the commute. They're very nice homes. They're also pricey. The average is about $1,700/mo from a quick glance. If we looked around a long time we could probably find something in the $1,500 range. +$400-$600/mo 2) We would have to find a new day care, or make my wife's commute ~1.5 hours to drop our son off with my sister in the morning alone. The former is much more likely. +$500-700/mo 3) There would be added fuel, auto maintenance, and auto depreciation costs. +$? Assuming a high rent cost and a "low" day care cost that would immediately eat away a $13,200 increase in income not including fuel and maintenance, which is what I'd expect to get for the most part. I believe there's some tax finagling in there, but I don't believe that would be worth the time to calculate. Without moving there's still the added fuel and maintenance costs. Plus the opportunity/health cost of the commute. Let's say I impress a lot and they offer me $80,000 and we take the low cost option of staying where we are, ignoring everything else. According to a paycheck estimator my net pay would be about $1,000 more per month. @ 0 deductions (which is what I claim now). At $75,000 that's +$780/mo. I think it could work with a net pay increase, but I'm not sure if it would be worth it.
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Jan 13, 2016 21:41
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It's not a decision you need to make until at least the interview is over. But it's a quality of life issue. I'm on the east coast and a 40-minute commute is pretty normal here. I used to do an hour and a half and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but if an hour is the max then that really doesn't seem that bad. I'm about 20 minutes on a bad day and that is by far the shortest commute I've ever had or could reasonably expect. But you're doing that thing where you start obsessing about a new possible thing way more than is necessary so chill until the interview. How's your budget for Jan coming?
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Jan 13, 2016 22:50
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The difference between a 40 minute and hour commute is a lot more than you'd think.
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Jan 13, 2016 23:00
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No Butt Stuff posted:The difference between a 40 minute and hour commute is a lot more than you'd think. Agreed. After about 30 minutes each way, the minutes start being exponential, because each minute is a greater percentage of the free time you have left. If you're at work 8.5 hours, sleep 7 hours, and commute 40 minutes each way, you have about 7.17 hours available. An extra 20 minutes of commuting each way shaves off nearly 10% of your waking free time. Plus, the longer you have to commute, the likelihood and impact of delays becomes much greater. I used to do an hour and a half...now I'm between 30 and 40 minutes depending on some factors/timing. I'll never go over 40 again. Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Jan 13, 2016 |
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Jan 13, 2016 23:04
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detectivemonkey posted:It's not a decision you need to make until at least the interview is over. But it's a quality of life issue. I'm on the east coast and a 40-minute commute is pretty normal here. I used to do an hour and a half and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but if an hour is the max then that really doesn't seem that bad. I'm about 20 minutes on a bad day and that is by far the shortest commute I've ever had or could reasonably expect. It's going pretty well I'd say. Better than most months for sure. I'm trying not to obsess here, because I know I have a tendency to do that. I'm simply trying to figure out if it's worth the time to even interview. I don't feel like I need much more interview practice after as many as I've done just in the past 5-8 months. I'm focused on my career, but I also realize that unless I learn to e: I'm more interested in perhaps doing 9 months of solid therapy and figuring out my next pursuit in the process. I like the idea of freelancing, but it's not even beyond an idea yet. Nail Rat posted:Agreed. After about 30 minutes each way, the minutes start being exponential, because each minute is a greater percentage of the free time you have left. Yeesh. I find time scarce as it is.
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Jan 13, 2016 23:17
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And I bitch about a 25min/6mi commute...in rush hour. 15min if I leave at a decent hour (630-645/1500) Y'all are crazy with 40-60min commutes.
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Jan 13, 2016 23:57
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Knyteguy posted:I'm trying not to obsess here, because I know I have a tendency to do that. I'm simply trying to figure out if it's worth the time to even interview. For all you know they'll let you work from home 2-3 days a week. Just go in with an open mind and not too much analysis for the first round.
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Jan 14, 2016 04:23
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And ditch the 80k number in your head. For all you know they'd offer 100k. Have you done the research? You'll get more than what they'd offer anyway if you negotiate correctly. Hell, maybe they give you a moving stipend. Don't make excuses for why it wouldn't work until you know it won't work.
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Jan 14, 2016 16:33
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Inept posted:For all you know they'll let you work from home 2-3 days a week. Just go in with an open mind and not too much analysis for the first round. They said no remote and it was M-F in office on the job posting. I'll try to do this moving forward however. No Butt Stuff posted:And ditch the 80k number in your head. For all you know they'd offer 100k. Have you done the research? You'll get more than what they'd offer anyway if you negotiate correctly. Hell, maybe they give you a moving stipend. Don't make excuses for why it wouldn't work until you know it won't work. Alright I will do this in the future. I do think I tend to get a salary number stuck in my head. I've decided that I'm going to dismiss this opportunity. I don't like the website I would have been working on if I had got the job, and it's all ASP classic which isn't going to do much for my career at this point. I have to work with ASP every now and then at my current job, and I find it really uninteresting. I don't want to settle. I'm going to formulate a plan this weekend with my wife regarding my next career move and go from there. I've been too wishy washy on my next step.
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Jan 14, 2016 18:07
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You need to at least try still. Maybe the website is poo poo, but it might also let you uncover flaws in your interviewing OR understand the market a little better. You have nothing to lose by continuing correspondence.
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Jan 14, 2016 18:13
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If they want to interview you just do it. At least get some practice!
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Jan 14, 2016 18:25
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Jesus Christ they might be hiring you to help revamp the website stop deciding your future before you ever interview anywhere. Take opportunities as they come.
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Jan 14, 2016 18:30
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Alright fine I scheduled an interview for tomorrow evening, and it sounds like he's thinking I'll get some offer based on his verbage during the phone call. He's the president of the company so at least his say would be final. Dammit it's supported by an Access backend why am I doing this 
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Jan 14, 2016 18:45
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Because they could be talking about updating the entire system and paying you a ton of money. Or they could just be preparing you to not look like an incompetent at an interview for a good job?
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Jan 14, 2016 18:49
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No Butt Stuff posted:Because they could be talking about updating the entire system and paying you a ton of money. Or they could just be preparing you to not look like an incompetent at an interview for a good job? I took the advice I just want to be negative for a minute.  Alright I'm done. I'll put on my best face tomorrow. I'd again be the sole software dev if I got the job, but oh well if it pays well and it has a decent culture.
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Jan 14, 2016 18:57
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Knyteguy posted:Alright fine I scheduled an interview for tomorrow evening, and it sounds like he's thinking I'll get some offer based on his verbage during the phone call. He's the president of the company so at least his say would be final. One of the things about being a dev with no degree is that you are going to get the less glamorous offers. They often still pay pretty well. Someone has to maintain the "unique" systems used by small/medium-sized businesses out there. If they are feeling really good about you, you can ask for a nice salary. And if you are in charge you can say to the bosses "Access is an obsolete technology. Here's my timeline for upgrading it to current technology." and get some nice experience in whatever you port it to.
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Jan 14, 2016 19:05
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Taking the interview is good, although repeatedly being the sole software developer doesn't sound great for career development to me.
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Jan 14, 2016 19:05
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Man, I'm glad my husband didn't think this way when he took his poo poo job roughly eight years ago working with loving FORTRAN or some crap. That poo poo job turned out to be the first step on a path that led him to a six figure salary. Opportunities and calculated risk, man. Stop being so negative. I mean, you got a better job once, you can do it again, right? (You see what I did thar?)
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Jan 14, 2016 19:16
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BarbarianElephant posted:One of the things about being a dev with no degree is that you are going to get the less glamorous offers. They often still pay pretty well. Someone has to maintain the "unique" systems used by small/medium-sized businesses out there. If they are feeling really good about you, you can ask for a nice salary. That would be a hell of a responsibility to lead the charge on an entire conversion, but it does sound exciting I suppose. Cicero posted:Taking the interview is good, although repeatedly being the sole software developer doesn't sound great for career development to me. Yeah it sounds similar to my job in a lot of respects. The owner knows a little bit about software dev and likes backend database stuff (and in my case my current boss is excellent with SQL), but that's about it. foxatee posted:Man, I'm glad my husband didn't think this way when he took his poo poo job roughly eight years ago working with loving FORTRAN or some crap. That poo poo job turned out to be the first step on a path that led him to a six figure salary. Opportunities and calculated risk, man. Stop being so negative. I mean, you got a better job once, you can do it again, right? foxatee don't talk to me about poo poo jobs ok, that stuff triggers me  .You guys are impossible to win with sometimes I swear. Thanks for looking out though I'm glad I called after a little reflection.
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Jan 14, 2016 19:37
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Knyteguy posted:That would be a hell of a responsibility to lead the charge on an entire conversion, but it does sound exciting I suppose. That's more for after you have been working there a while, not the job interview.
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Jan 14, 2016 20:00
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