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ex post facho
Oct 25, 2007

mcmagic posted:

https://twitter.com/clmazin/status/687849028537593856

Ted Cruz's old college roomie made a funny.

ahahaha this is great

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Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

https://twitter.com/relevantorgans/status/687832726104313856

fantastic

Bethamphetamine
Oct 29, 2012


Between the Tiawanese Animators and the chinese twitter-ers, if America's nascent 24 hour election cycle turns into an entertaining global cultural phenomenon I might eventually grow to forgive Cruz's former roommate for not killing that awful piece of trash when he had the chance.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008


Basically correct as far as I can tell.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



mcmagic posted:

https://twitter.com/clmazin/status/687849028537593856

Ted Cruz's old college roomie made a funny.

I really wonder what Ted Cruz did to his roommates to provoke these reactions. I would expect something like 'he was kind of a weirdo', not outright hatred.

CortezFantastic
Aug 10, 2003

I SEE DEMONS

Phlegmish posted:

I really wonder what Ted Cruz did to his roommates to provoke these reactions. I would expect something like 'he was kind of a weirdo', not outright hatred.

I imagine he is just a weasel. Will do or say anything to get ahead. Has no loyality. Just a weirdo in general.

It actually made me think of my college roommates and if any that I just had an "ok" relationship with would talk poo poo about me like this, and the answer was a resounding no. There are very very few people I would talk about like this if I knew them in person, so I think the hatred must be just. Considering Cruz's track record especially.

ex post facho
Oct 25, 2007
He also probably ratted them out to the TAs more than once and was probably just a massive buzzkill in general

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012


I can hear the kill Bill siren in my head

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

etalian posted:

This a good idea, Bernie should buy out theaters for free showings of the big short in Iowa.

It can't be that expensive tbqh.

Xenophon
Jun 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer
Cruz seems like the kind of guy that would endlessly harangue you about hygiene if you left the cap off your own toothpaste and then ignore you when you complained about him eating your last steak and drinking your last beer

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/687984703887007744

Pepe Silvia Browne
Jan 1, 2007

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames

Phlegmish posted:

I really wonder what Ted Cruz did to his roommates to provoke these reactions. I would expect something like 'he was kind of a weirdo', not outright hatred.

Dude is probably just trying to get his 15 minutes TBQH.

e; nevermind, forgot about the girls bathroom thing VVVVV

Roland Jones
Aug 18, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
Didn't someone also talk about Cruz going to the girls' dorms in nothing but a bathrobe until people complained to his roommate to make him stop? Apparently he was just thoroughly awful even then.

thethreeman
May 10, 2008
Fallen Rib

pathetic little tramp posted:

#newyorkvalues is currently the top trend on Twitter,

https://twitter.com/jfreewright/status/688033026459176960

https://twitter.com/MichelleAKline/status/688031966197846017

https://twitter.com/Clarknt67/status/688031381721604096

Like I said before, this might actually work in Iowa amongst the "YOU drat LATTE LIBERALS" crowd, but this is beyond poison for the national. Will the GOP recognise that and run from Cruz though?

lol I'm seeing a lot more of these than the type you picked

https://twitter.com/MikeIsaac/status/687861386484027393

also I saw a tweet with a poll that showed something like 70-80% of republicans harbor negative feelings towards New York nationally, so I don't think Cruz's move will hurt him in early states, even with the 911 response. It's impossible to break down, but I bet the Canada stuff is a much bigger deal

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Phlegmish posted:

I really wonder what Ted Cruz did to his roommates to provoke these reactions. I would expect something like 'he was kind of a weirdo', not outright hatred.

Probably just be himself.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

Roland Jones posted:

Didn't someone also talk about Cruz going to the girls' dorms in nothing but a bathrobe until people complained to his roommate to make him stop? Apparently he was just thoroughly awful even then.

Sounds like some real New York values to me.

Montasque
Jul 18, 2003

Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven
Rush thinks Cruz, Trump, and Rubio had their best nights, thinks Cruz won, and is now defending Trump and Cruz against that evil GOPe!

E: Cruz has spent most of his adult either in the Ivy league or in Washington DC. Him trying to play the hayseed with that NEW YORK VALUES dig while his wife works for Goldman Sachs is peak Cruz.

I'm so happy he ate poo poo on that one.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
What's with the lowercase e in GOPe?

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Zelder posted:

I can hear the kill Bill siren in my head

https://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/jfiHlU9.gif&v=cOy6hqzfsAs&s=7

Stagger_Lee
Mar 25, 2009

Vox Nihili posted:

Basically correct as far as I can tell.

Jewish Homosexual Communist, more precisely, but I can see why they wouldn't explore that in context.

Xenophon
Jun 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer
One of the other big stories in the media today is Christie doubling down on just saying he never said what he said:

Chris Christie, last night posted:

Let’s get the facts straight. First of all, I didn’t support Sonia Sotomayor.

Chris Christie, 2009 posted:

After watching and listening to Judge Sotomayor's performance at the confirmation hearings this week, I am confident that she is qualified for the position of Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court…While Judge Sotomayor would not have been my choice, President Obama has used his opportunity to fill a seat on the Supreme Court by choosing a nominee who has more than proven her capability, competence and ability. I support her appointment to the Supreme Court and urge the Senate to keep politics out of the process and confirm her nomination.

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

Golden Bee posted:

What's with the lowercase e in GOPe?

I assume it's for Establishment. And GOPE would be a little weird.

Montasque
Jul 18, 2003

Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Golden Bee posted:

What's with the lowercase e in GOPe?

"Establishment"

Also lol Ted Cruz:




Ted "HEY JEW YORK GIVE ME THAT GAY MONEY" Cruz.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


lol, Cruz basically writes attacks ads to go after himself.

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib

Gosts posted:

By far the hardest fight in Republican Primaries 2016 is Ted Cruz. I've never seen so many people get stuck on a battle. That's why I've made this walkthrough specifically to help everyone. First things first, if you've already saved your game in Texas, and you don't have the stuff in this guide, i'm sorry, but it's too late. After you enter Texas, there's no way to exit until you beat cruz, so if you missed any essential items or party members, there's no way to win. You can still grind the canadian immigrants outside Cruz's lair if you're underleveled, though, so if you have party members under the rank of neurosurgeon (that's what i recommend for the fight, MINIMUM) you can at least fix that and try again before you restart the game from the beginning.

So, tips before you start. Other than being appropriate rank, I recommend having the party lineup of Trump, Christie, Rubio. Fourth party member does not really matter as long as they have DPS. If you have no idea what to do for a fourth, use Paul if you already completed his story quest and killed Ron, or, if you haven't done that, use Carson. If you don't have either, then it REALLY doesn't matter, as long as you don't use Walker.

Trump is going to be taunting and soaking up most of the damage. If you didn't get enough gold to give to Trump to add him to your party you basically lose the game, because nobody else can absorb Cruz's hits and you can't cheese the game with the 9/11 skip. Christie is good because he can absorb even more damage than Trump, but he doesn't have the taunt ability. Still, if your party gets AoEd, sometimes Christie has juuuust enough body fat left to keep from getting killed and he can revive the rest of the party. Rubio is a no-brainer because the Sword of Chiang Kai-Shek is the best DPS in the game and gives amazing party buffs, and nobody else can use the sword but Rubio.

Ok, so enough pre-combat stuff. For the actual fight you have a few free turns to either cast buffs or start doing damage while Cruz buffs himself. Every fight, first three turns he'll cast Keep the Promise I, II, and then III. Here's the most important part. DO NOT REMOVE HIS BUFFS. If you debuff cruz, he casts Re-ignite the Promise, which has the effects of all three, PLUS health regen, and you can never remove it. This is what fucks most people up.

Other than that, the fight is pretty straightforward. Taunt with Trump, keep Christie at full health, deal damage with Rubio and whoever your 4th is. As long as you follow these instructions, you should win the election.

Edit 1: Ok, some smartass keeps PMing me saying that Jeb can also use the Sword of Chiang Kai-Shek. WHILE THIS IS TRUE, if you EVEN HAVE JEB IN THE PARTY, you'll never even go to texas and fight Cruz. Instead of fighting Fiorina at the executive's office in chapter 4, you go to the prairie chapel ranch and get the Jeb! Ending. So no, you can't use him if you want to actually finish the game.

Oiled and Ready posted:

Also if you use a GameGenie you can get H.W. in your party even though Clinton killed him in the prequel. He can dual wield Chang's Blade and Desert Shield and he's basically unstoppable.

Barring that, remember that you'll have to face Queen Clinton on the 3rd disc. NOTE: YOU CAN ONLY RETAIN TWO PARTY MEMBERS FOR THIS.

I heavily recommend Trump and the hidden character Webb. You can find Webb in Cooper's Lair if you backtrack all the way to Act I on the first disk. Deny Chafee 3 times and he'll sulk away, find the pillbox on the far side of the screen and engage Webb who will be wounded. Offer him [Charlie's Tears] and he will rejuvenate and join you, but only if you have Trump alone in your party.

From there, return to the final disc and engage Clinton. Use Webb's counterattack on any Gender Cards She throws and make sure Trump uses Invoke Record on cooldown. It's not a hard fight but make sure every time she disappears not to attack while she is offscreen or you will activate several Gender Cards that not even Webb can counter. Good luck!

Archive all of this so they can never be lost to time.

InsanityIsCrazy
Jan 25, 2003

by Lowtax
I hope when Trump clinches this he stuffs Cruz into a box and ships him to that warehouse from Indiana Jones

jackofarcades
Sep 2, 2011

Okay, I'll admit it took me a bit to get into it... But I think I kinda love this!! I'm Spider-Man!! I'm actually Spider-Man!! HA!
People hate Ted Cruz so much they're spiking the football alongside Donald Trump. It's amazing. gently caress that guy.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.




InsanityIsCrazy posted:

I hope when Trump clinches this he stuffs Cruz into a box and ships him to that warehouse from Indiana Jones

"We have men looking into his constitutional eligibility. TOP... men."

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Slate Action posted:

Cruz's face at the very end is priceless.





(internal screaming)

sexy fucking muskrat
Aug 22, 2010

by exmarx

Getting a real 'Mr Mime' vibe from this

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



jackofarcades posted:

People hate Ted Cruz so much they're spiking the football alongside Donald Trump. It's amazing. gently caress that guy.

Donald Trump is infinitely more likeable than Ted Cruz, and the only one up there with the grapes to actually take the smarmy prick down a peg. By default, he's the best person on that stage and should be rooted for.

InsanityIsCrazy
Jan 25, 2003

by Lowtax

Mr Jaunts posted:

Getting a real 'Mr Mime' vibe from this

Here's carson stabbing an invisible belt buckle

now he's taking an invisible ambien

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

I love my avatar that they gave me in the FFL2 LP but I'm seriously, seriously considering taking this one.

e: gently caress it time to retire action duck for a while anyway

Montasque
Jul 18, 2003

Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven
Rush has a caller make the point about NEW YORK VALUES and how everyone KNOWS what Cruz meant.

Rush agrees in part with the caller and adds Trump defends the cops and first responders but de Blasio is working against the cops... Rush then says that the DRIVE BY MEDIA are now in love with Trump and hate Cruz... But then he hints that maybe Cruz hosed up but that Cruz won the birther fight.

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
Since Cruz renounced his Canadian citizenship where is Trump going to deport him to once he wins?

Pepe Silvia Browne
Jan 1, 2007

Michael Corleone posted:

Since Cruz renounced his Canadian citizenship where is Trump going to deport him to once he wins?

He may not be able to run for President, but he can still run for Lord Commander of the Mexican Wall.

Xenophon
Jun 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer
Scott Starnes is my new favorite comedian

quote:

Donald Trump and the Mainstream Media are foaming at the mouth over the comment Senator Ted Cruz made about New York values.

Now, all of us folks who are not New York City liberals know exactly what Senator Cruz was talking about -- and it had nothing to do with the aftermath of 9-11.

Click here to join Todd’s American Dispatch – a must-read for Conservatives!

Senator Cruz was talking about cultural and political values.

Duck Dynasty values versus Bill de Blasio values.

He was referring to the permissive New York values celebrating public debauchery that would make the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah blush. Just ask the families from the Heartland who’ve been accosted by topless women in Times Square.

Remember Occupy Wall Street -- turning public parks into human cesspools - people defecating on police cars? He was talking about those values, too.

Along with the values that propelled citizens into the streets to justify violence against police officers.

Senator Cruz was talking about the values that banned churches from public spaces and relegated Christians to second class citizens.

He was referring to the values that let a candidate says he's a pro-abortion Democrat one day and a pro-life Republican the next -- the kind of values that would compel someone to use a national tragedy like 9-11 to score cheap political points.

You see - in that land New Yorkers like to call fly-over country - character counts. A man's word matters.

Those are the values Senator Cruz was talking about.

Montasque
Jul 18, 2003

Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven
https://twitter.com/CNNPolitics/status/688059661073924096

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InsanityIsCrazy
Jan 25, 2003

by Lowtax

:aaaaa:

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