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Ramc posted:Our fight with them was a nailbiting shitshow. Well yeah but then you guys all upgraded your poo poo in ways that make sense. I slapped on dual layers of mail to slow me down so I didnt run out there and die first. I dont even know what the other guys did.
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Jan 16, 2016 22:47
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| # ? May 10, 2024 18:44 |
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Things. With wrestling. I even got some new boots! I think. Point is, those points were definitely spent on things.
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Jan 16, 2016 22:51
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Spermy Smurf posted:Well yeah but then you guys all upgraded your poo poo in ways that make sense. I slapped on dual layers of mail to slow me down so I didnt run out there and die first. I have been tempted to weigh Josie down with armor to slow her, but ehhh. She either wrecks poo poo and takes no damage, or wrecks poo poo and loses all her limbs, not stopping fighting until she bleeds to death because passing out is for scrub casual losers.
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Jan 16, 2016 22:57
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Jan 16, 2016 23:01
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Big betting war on the Animists vs Dentists fight!
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Jan 16, 2016 23:06
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jon joe posted:Big betting war on the Animists vs Dentists fight! That is going to be a good one.
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Jan 16, 2016 23:58
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Bet on the Dwarves. Always.
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Jan 17, 2016 00:47
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Apeliminator. Apeliminator.
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Jan 17, 2016 00:48
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Looking at the log our team had great copper armor that round. I counted 5 instances of copper armor turning blows from iron weapons.
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Jan 17, 2016 02:24
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I call foul  . The mamga result should have been played out. Mere incliment weather shouldn't stop a match.
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Jan 17, 2016 02:25
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Tunicate posted:I call foul "And a forgotten beast has just rampaged into the arena! How will our contestants handle this one?!"
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Jan 17, 2016 02:26
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Hey. Guess who is an admin on the site? Get ready for mystery boxes, everyone. We really could have a forgotten beast appear in the arena as a third team.
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Jan 17, 2016 02:40
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Tunicate posted:I call foul I actually did.  The fight went the same way, except Antwoman burned to death, and A Lost Cowman ended up throwing the gremlin almost into the lava. Didn't save the fight log, though.
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Jan 17, 2016 02:40
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Spermy Smurf posted:Get ready for mystery boxes, everyone. We really could have a forgotten beast appear in the arena as a third team. E: Unless you are spawning a cow with amnesia or something.
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Jan 17, 2016 03:02
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Spermy Smurf posted:Looking at the log our team had great copper armor that round. I counted 5 instances of copper armor turning blows from iron weapons. Only 3, actually. The first is a kobold's iron battleaxe bouncing off a molemarian's mail shirt. Kobolds are fairly small and weak, molemarians are fairly large, and axes have a large contact area. Add that up on a glancing blow, and you have a deflection. It's one of those cases where other factors sometimes cause the armor to work better or worse than it normally does. The second is a human zweihander bouncing off a minotaur's greaves. The hit was on the lower body. The torso in general has the thickest armor, minotaurs are really big, humans are merely average in strength, and the weapon has a large contact area. So, same as the above, but with bigger participants and stronger armor. The third is a dagger. As awesome as dagger stabs are, dagger cuts are lame, and even an adamantine dagger sometimes fails to penetrate armor on a slash.
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Jan 17, 2016 03:43
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so uh how bout lightly whipped? we gonna win this round, i feel it
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Jan 17, 2016 07:19
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Chaz and In like Flynn are both joint top of the leaderboard on 13, so let's look at the other end. Stephen Harper is at last worthy of his name, and the ranks of the Unblooded are down to five nameless peons. Lightly Whipped and This Bites sully the arena with two unblooded each. The last stain upon honour resides in Cool Rad Awesome Pals. Shame them! Now, this seventh round was the end of the first tranche of division versus division battles. How did each of the four fortresses fare? Boatmurdered vs Bronzestabbed 3 wins to 1 13 kills to 7 3 wins to 1 12 kills to 4 2 wins to 2 9 kills to 10 3 wins to 1 13 kills to 7 Total: Boatmurdered wins series 11-5, 47 kills to 28 Gemclod vs Syrupleaf 2 wins to 2 9 kills to 10 1 win to 3 7 kills to 15 3 wins to 1 15 kills to 5 2 wins to 2 8 kills to 8 Total: Series drawn 8-8, Gemclod tiebreak by 39 kills to 38 Boatmurdered curbstomped Bronzestabbed, emerging as the clear divisional frontrunners. Gemclod and Syrupleaf are virtually inseparable, just a single death over sixteen matches giving Gemclod the slimmest of edges. It will be fascinating to see over the next four bouts if Boatmurdered is unusually strong or Bronzestabbed is unusually weak as they face off against the teams setting par. Next four rounds: Boatmurdered vs Syrupleaf, Gemclod vs Bronzestabbed.
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Jan 17, 2016 14:05
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E: Mistake. I am feeling really bad about the betting on the next dentists match. Most of it is just Jon Joe 
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Jan 17, 2016 16:07
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Pickled Tink posted:E: Mistake. Yeah, and? Most of the other team is just Klokwork. Take away both our bets and Dentists is still winning in bet amount (though not pure # of bets). That's what's happens when the wealthiest 1% control 80% of the betting. Dwarfie Sanders 2016.
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Jan 17, 2016 19:23
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This is probably going to go badly for me as I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm betting against jon joe when he's not trying to be wrong.
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Jan 17, 2016 20:32
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Maarak posted:This would've been a good time to have that glowing blue shirt. Maarak, the next round has This Bites- who has two of my favorite gladiators- going up against the Plump Helmets. I respect the work you have done managing Roland "2 Chainz" Gorchnik, taking him from a hapless layabout wasting all his money on expensive, showy shirts to a lean, mean fighting machine. The lessons you learned training dogs to dance no doubt served you well. (Or so I assume from your avatar). His is truly an inspirational story to all would-be lashers. It is with a heavy heart that we will have to destroy your team in the ring. (My other favorite is Sun Tzulander. He one-punched a yeti and rips out peoples bones in my fan fictions.)
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Jan 17, 2016 20:50
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Klokwurk posted:This is probably going to go badly for me as I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm betting against jon joe when he's not trying to be wrong. Literally 90% of my process is looking at the most recent round for equipment and comparing them for anything that stands out as a hard counter to the other team, or at least a murder advantage.
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Jan 17, 2016 20:56
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And you still bet on us? You're mad!
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Jan 17, 2016 22:45
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Pickled Tink posted:And you still bet on us? You're mad! Hell's Dentists is on the left side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears no armor. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Subterranean Animists is on the right side of the arena. Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a copper short sword, a copper short sword, and a copper short sword and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, iron leggings, and iron gauntlets. Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, and iron gauntlets. Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and iron gauntlets. Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.
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Jan 17, 2016 22:55
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See, I'm too lazy to actually check things like that.
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Jan 17, 2016 23:05
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APELIMINATOR.
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Jan 17, 2016 23:33
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alcharagia posted:APELIMINATOR. Are you okay?
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Jan 17, 2016 23:42
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jon joe posted:Are you okay? Perfect mechanical bodies are a little tough on one's mind.
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Jan 18, 2016 00:08
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jon joe posted:Are you okay? 
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Jan 18, 2016 00:15
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alcharagia posted:APELIMINATOR. APELIMINATOR
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Jan 18, 2016 00:19
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alcharagia posted:NAMELESS UNBLOODED. Fixed that for you. It hasn't earned a name.
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Jan 18, 2016 00:35
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I don't know alcharagia, have you tried wanting it more?
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Jan 18, 2016 01:16
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 oh my god I finally got a kill oh my god hell it was even a good fight, I beat the bejeezus out of that guy.
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Jan 18, 2016 16:45
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Good work killing that dude! It looks like builds are locked again ahead of impending violence.
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Jan 19, 2016 04:17
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Ramc posted:Good work killing that dude! I love violence!
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Jan 19, 2016 04:49
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Jan 19, 2016 13:43
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 Round 8, Fight 1 This Bites is on the left side of the arena. Knife Toseeu (synthorange) is a female strangler. She wields a copper large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears a bronze cap. Sun Tzulander the Philomodel (Keru) is a male elf. He is empty handed and wears a steel cap, a copper mail shirt, a silver breast plate, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Roland Gorchnik (Maarak) is a male human. He wields a copper whip and a copper scourge and wears an iron cap, leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Eyeteeth IV (Revenant Threshold) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver buckler and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. The Plump Helmets is on the right side of the arena. Dory (my dad) is a female minotaur. She wields a copper spear and a copper spear and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. James LargeSausage (Afriscipio) is a male human. He wields an iron halberd and wears a copper cap, an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Josie the Bludgeonatrix (Ramc) is a female elf. She wields a copper mace and a wooden shield and wears leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Return of Panty Thief (Mr. Vile) is a male yeti. He is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, a bronze breast plate, bronze greaves, bronze gauntlets, and bronze low boots.  The Plump Helmets is a 3.33 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 10378.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 3118.00 dwarfbucks for This Bites.  James Largesausage sends his halberd into Sun Tzu's hand. Sun Tzu decides punching Dory in the horn is the way to go. It does nothing, I just thought it was worth a mention. I mean, it's a giant cow. Why would you punch it's horn? Dory responds by taking off the elf's nose.  Eyeteeth bites the huge Yeti's tongue somehow and won't let go. Cat got your tongue? LOL I am hilarious. Josie slams her mace into Knife Toseeu's lower body and the strangler looks sick. Dory stabs Roland's hand, forcing him to drop his weapon that had caused a number of bruises so far.  Knife Toseeu and James Largesausage trade equal blows to left hands. Nerves are severed, muscles are hosed, and bone is fractured for both gladiators. Good thing the strangler has 3 other hands compared to James' single unfucked hand.  Eyeteeth has taken a few charges, but stands back up each time. Panty Thief causes multiple bruises with his buckler, and one to the neck finally pisses Eyeteeth off enough to enrage him. I dont know what that means, but he's flashing a red ! Sun Tzulander punches Dory in the cheek, and the minotaurs facebone collapses into a lump of gore. There is a lot of bruising and deflected attacks by everyone at this point... And then James Largesausage gets another solid blow in against Knife Toseeu. The strangler passes out from the pain as a second arm is pulped by the halberd. Roland gets a solid blow in against Dory, and the minotaur's lung is bruised.  James Largesausage puts her out of her misery quickly.  Dory finally gets the better of one-weapon-Roland. The spear cleaves the humans forearm in two! James darts in and puts his halberd into the humans hand, and then Dory sticks her other spear clean through his stomach. Roland passes out.  Dory fails to kill Roland with a headshot, so James takes his head clean off instead.  I dont even know. Fartstorm isn't even in this fight. That's Sun Tzulander who gets teamed up by Dory, James, and Josie. James puts him down with another arm hacking.  James Largesausage takes the kill again. At the same time Dory had moved and stabbed Eyeteeth in the chest from the side. Down goes Eyeteeth.  Dory gets the kill. Team DickJoke won with a 4-0 flawless victory. The 3:1 betting ratio was absolutely correct. Also I now have zero dwarfbux until I can figure out how to change my numbers within the site. So far, no luck. I did find the "Ban Bad Munki" button which is an odd thing to have scripted into a site, but whatever. Kills: James Largesausage: 3 Dory: 1 Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Jan 19, 2016 |
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Jan 19, 2016 17:57
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nobody should be surprised
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Jan 19, 2016 18:01
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James Largesausage claims third place behind Chaz Steadyfist and In like Flynn with 12 kills, effectively three teams soloed. This Bites still have two Unblooded. 32 chances to kill an opponent, none taken.
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Jan 19, 2016 18:04
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It's worth pointing out that Panty thief stole the silver buckler during the fight and proceeded to maul its previous owner half to death with it.
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Jan 19, 2016 18:05
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