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Axiem posted:My daughter has on multiple occasions over the past few months stated that her favorite super hero is "Darth Vader!" My niece's favorite Harry Potter character is He who shall not be named because he doesn't have a nose.
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# ? Jan 18, 2016 02:27 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 07:42 |
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My four year old nephew has some trouble with words ending with S sometimes. Recently i've shown him some rube golberg/dice falling over videos since he likes looking at the designs. Now once per day he'll run up to me and say "Uncle J, can we watch the dyke videos??"
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# ? Jan 18, 2016 06:36 |
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I used to work on the butchery counter in a supermarket, which was right next to the fishmonger's counter. We'd get a lot of kids who either thought the fish on display were cool or gross, but one time this kid took one look at the counter, turned to his dad and said "Daddy, those fish are dead " in the kind of tone that suggested he didn't think his dad had realised.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 16:48 |
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My 3 year old son is fixated on a game called "Jail." He pretends to buy a new car, then smacks the car and breaks it (he is a sound effects machine and loves shouting all the noises the breaking glass would make). Then he expects me to come and make police siren noises, lets me arrest him, and send him to one of many specific jails. We have work jail, where he is required to pick up toys to get out, we have food jail where he needs to eat lunch / dinner / snacks to get out, and we have lockup jail where I wrap him in a few blankets and he's not allowed to move until his time is up. One part of me is worried that I'm making the idea of "jail" fun. The other is kind of relieved that he actually listens and fully completes whatever task I give him without any complaints. Either way, when I come home from work he's waiting there saying "don't smack that car don't smack that car don't smack that car.... POW ding ding sshhhh ding ding. Uh oh, police man is comin! He's putting me in jail!"
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:34 |
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You might have to show him OZ when he gets older to re-scare him but good work finding a game that involves cleaning! My niece was obsessed for a while with a game where I picked her up and "put her in the oven" (threw her on the sofa). She's never tried to cook anyone as far as I know.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:19 |
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Dabir posted:When I was a kid my mum tried to explain God to me and said something like 'He's a great power'. So naturally I assumed it was electricity. I always imagined him as a superhero, flying around and kicking Satan's rear end from time to time. How disappointed I was.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:24 |
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My son was playing in his room, whispering to himself, which if you've never experienced from a toddler can be a bit unnerving. I asked him "What are you saying?" "I didn't say nothin!" "What were you whispering? I heard you say something" "I didn't, the people in my eye are talking." It took me a few minutes to piece together that he was playing Inside Out, pretending to be the characters that live in his head.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:54 |
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Judge Schnoopy posted:My son was playing in his room, whispering to himself, which if you've never experienced from a toddler can be a bit unnerving. I asked him "What are you saying?" "I didn't say nothin!" "What were you whispering? I heard you say something" My youngest niece is barely 3, and loves to whisper to herself. It sounds like demonic possession.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:56 |
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Judge Schnoopy posted:My 3 year old son is fixated on a game called "Jail."
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 00:47 |
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Tsunemori posted:You son is a future goon fixated with MMO grinding. Wash his socks! Don't you put that evil on him!
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 01:11 |
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Kevyn posted:The other day my sister let her two daughters go out to play in the snow/slush while wearing boots, hats, and jackets over their pajamas. Ten minutes later the four year old comes back in the house with mud all over her pajama pants and says "by accident I had too much fun!" This is just too drat cute
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 21:31 |
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I was awoken mid-nap to this (and failing fists) by a 4yo my girlfriend was babysitting today: "You've got a cap-pit-iller in your leg! you've got a cap-pit-iller in your leg!" The "cap-pit-tiller" in my leg was my calf muscle cramping up that didn't hurt enough to wake me up and release it.
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 04:20 |
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Watching the neighbor boys again (ages 7 and 8), and I was helping the younger one with some homework, which happened to be a crossword puzzle about Michigan. Me: Okay, this clue says "Michigan has two ____" Kid: uh.... Me: It looks like it starts with a P. Kid: ...pirate coves? Peninsulas. The word he was looking for was peninsulas.
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 06:29 |
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My son, 2 months, has colic something fierce. For anyone who doesn't know, it's essentially gas pains. So after a bout of grunting and fussing this morning my older son went to investigate the commotion. This little 1 and a half year old is awesome and loves his brother already which is hella cool. Anyways the little one finally farts akin to the sound of a balloon letting the air out of its valve, to which the biggun runs away screaming "WHY!?" One of the only words he knows, but drat if he doesn't do it correctly. I laugh my rear end off because I am also a child and farts are funny.
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 08:25 |
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Soulex posted:My son, 2 months, has colic something fierce. For anyone who doesn't know, it's essentially gas pains. So after a bout of grunting and fussing this morning my older son went to investigate the commotion. This little 1 and a half year old is awesome and loves his brother already which is hella cool. Anyways the little one finally farts akin to the sound of a balloon letting the air out of its valve, to which the biggun runs away screaming "WHY!?" One of the only words he knows, but drat if he doesn't do it correctly. Babies farting never not funny.
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 10:19 |
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 14:19 |
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Provin' my point.
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 14:23 |
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Couples years ago i was in a park, its a family thing everyone invited. so mhy nephews come to hang around, and theyre hilarious.
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# ? Jan 24, 2016 05:25 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQm4RvuWBwI you were born in KC missouri to a girl who wasnt married
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# ? Jan 24, 2016 05:26 |
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A friend of mine taught his nephew how to say "DEEZ NUTS". Kid also likes to point at things while doing so. The best part is that because he's only 3-4 yrs old, his height makes it so that everything he points at is generally nutsack level. His mother is not very pleased.
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# ? Jan 28, 2016 04:48 |
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Soulex posted:My son, 2 months, has colic something fierce. For anyone who doesn't know, it's essentially gas pains. So after a bout of grunting and fussing this morning my older son went to investigate the commotion. This little 1 and a half year old is awesome and loves his brother already which is hella cool. Anyways the little one finally farts akin to the sound of a balloon letting the air out of its valve, to which the biggun runs away screaming "WHY!?" One of the only words he knows, but drat if he doesn't do it correctly. My son is the gassiest child I have ever known. It never bothers him, he just farts with the best of them. One of his favorite things to do is bounce like loving Tigger all over the place and I never cease to laugh at him farting every time he lands on the ground. Jumpin' farts!
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# ? Jan 28, 2016 05:02 |
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TINY T-REX ARMS posted:My son is the gassiest child I have ever known. It never bothers him, he just farts with the best of them. One of his favorite things to do is bounce like loving Tigger all over the place and I never cease to laugh at him farting every time he lands on the ground. Jumpin' farts! It always amazes me to hear tiny humans fart like 250lb men from Wisconsin.
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# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:06 |
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Kids and farts stories eh? Well the funniest moment I'll ever have in my entire life is one of these, and nobody else got to see it. My son was around 18-24 months at the time. He's sitting on the couch at the far end of the living room. I'm standing to the side, my back facing the room. I let out a big fart because I'm a classy dad. He gets up and starts running through the room with a big grin on his face as toddlers are wont to do. And then it happens. He hits the wall of stink. He stops dead and his arms fly into the air while a look of pure unbridled terror and disgust cross his face and he practically falls over. I DO fall over laughing so hard at the reaction, nearly peeing myself. I still laugh hard at this event, and he's nearly 9.
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# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:21 |
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My son is still very young and is in the stage where he only puts a few words together. Lately he has been asking me to "wrestle", which is your typical Dad horseplay stuff of grabs and spins and hollering. Anyway after a wrestle session a few days ago he's still not satisfied, and he comes over to me on the couch and says "wrestle!" and I say, "oh daddy needs a break right now, we're about to have dinner." He tries a few more times, then takes my hand and says "papi, walk!" which is my cue to come with him and he usually he takes me over to a toy or book or something and we goof off, or we go see the dogs in the backyard or something else varied. So I stand up and he says "WRESTLE!" with a big smile on his face, like "well buddy you're standing up now so you better wrestle with me". So I did, because I figured he earned it. Next day, same story, we horseplay around and afterwards I'm sitting down and he comes over and says "wrestle!" and I say "oh bud, we already wrestled, let's read a book" and of course he immediately says "ok, papi, walk!" and I look him in the eye and say "son, I know you're trying to get me to stand up so we can wrestle" and he is silent for a moment and then gently takes my hand and looks at me with the most loving innocent look and says "papi, walk..." very gently and a little sadly. I feel a bit guilty and say "ok" and stand up and he immediately starts giggling so hard he can barely say "w...w...wrestle!" and then literally doubles over with laughter, cracking up at his own cleverness at tricking me. I didn't even have to wrestle with him, he got back up and wandered off to his books, satisfied.
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# ? Jan 28, 2016 23:29 |
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Five year old A:"I wouldn't care if I died" Five year old B: "But...then you couldn't eat food."
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# ? Jan 29, 2016 02:04 |
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Mr Confetti posted:A friend of mine taught his nephew how to say "DEEZ NUTS". Kid also likes to point at things while doing so. The best part is that because he's only 3-4 yrs old, his height makes it so that everything he points at is generally nutsack level. I did this with my nephew back when he was around 5, but I taught it to him as a knock knock joke. Of course the first person he told it to was his mother, who was immensely displeased with me to say the least. And my brother couldn't stop laughing, which only served to make her even madder (as well as insure that the little guy was gonna tell his awesome new joke to every single person he laid eyes on). She laughs about it now but man, at the time I thought I was a dead man.
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# ? Jan 29, 2016 06:44 |
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:My son is still very young and is in the stage where he only puts a few words together. That's a smart kid right there! I see great things in his future.
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# ? Jan 29, 2016 07:19 |
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Your Dunkle Sans posted:That's a smart kid right there! I see great things in his future. Thank you! He's basically a human text adventure right now. He tries all his verbs on everything, it's adorable. code:
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# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:00 |
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:Thank you! He's basically a human text adventure right now. He tries all his verbs on everything, it's adorable. I would legit download a Z-engine emulator to play this.
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# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:04 |
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My four year-old today: "You're the Master of liking penis, papa" (Fair enough, unlike mama, I still laugh each time she yells "Penis!") Last week I was talking about the planets of the solar system, because she's been very interested in space, watching the moon landing on youtube, etc. As I started listing the planets she smiles big, raising her hand. "Venus sounds like you said... penis" I laugh, mama even cracks a grin. "Now do you like penis, mama? Mama, do you like penis?"
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# ? Jan 31, 2016 03:05 |
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At children's sermon time, in front of church: Pastor: Who's your favorite superhero? My 3.5 Yr. Old: DARTH VADER!!!! Entire Church: <cracks up laughing> At least she's been consistent; this has been her answer to that question for the past few months.
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 06:00 |
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From a friend:quote:
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 18:24 |
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kbdragon posted:At children's sermon time, in front of church: When you ask her what she wants to do when she grows up is her answer "Rule the world!"? Because if that's the case you might be raising a super villain.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 04:38 |
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The Mentalizer posted:When you ask her what she wants to do when she grows up is her answer "Rule the world!"? Because if that's the case you might be raising a super villain. Mine worked out when she was around four or five that as far as video game characters are concerned, humans are the bosses that kill them easily and are hard to kill. A nice bit of developing a theory of mind there. Of course, she cackled with supervillain glee when I pointed out this made her the bad guy.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 14:08 |
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Bobby Digital posted:From a friend: He is all ready for marriage.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 17:09 |
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My (autistic) 8-year-old has recently become obsessed with Kerbal Space Program. He was complaining to my boyfriend that he was having a hard time getting some particular rocket to go as high as he wanted. Boyfriend explained that if he had two stages of rocket boosters, then the rocket would become lighter after the first boosters fell off, which would allow the second stage to propel it higher. Kid: (Sigh) "Yeah, I know I could do that, but you see, the problem is I'm too lazy." ETA: Since then, boyfriend and I have started using "But you see, the problem is I'm too lazy" as a reason not to do things. Seems legit.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 17:12 |
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Today at the library I picked up a local publication of kids' writing and artwork and had to share this: no name for the sake of anonymity posted:
All the poetry I've written in my day pales in comparison to those last two lines.
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# ? Feb 12, 2016 04:52 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Today at the library I picked up a local publication of kids' writing and artwork and had to share this:
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# ? Feb 12, 2016 05:29 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Today at the library I picked up a local publication of kids' writing and artwork and had to share this: I can't stop giggling. That's art right there.
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# ? Feb 12, 2016 13:25 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 07:42 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Today at the library I picked up a local publication of kids' writing and artwork and had to share this: Last year in the elementary school I worked at, I found a poetry notebook a 2nd grader had left behind. Most of the poems involved death somehow, even a poem about the moon. But my favorite poem was called "Jass." Jass it a tune So amarikle Just, just beautiful Just, just spectacly.
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# ? Feb 12, 2016 15:49 |