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JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

Qwijib0 posted:

Diamondbacks used to be awesome gold/purple/teal



now they're boring "sedona red"



Yea, why the gently caress did they change? They only won a WS in those colors, and it wasn't so long ago. The new logo/font is rear end. :mad:

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Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Non-traditional color schemes rule.

The Kings' purple/silver/black is fantastic and I'm like 95% sure they're going back to red/white/baby blue when the new arena opens, which is bullshit.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Qwijib0 posted:

Diamondbacks used to be awesome gold/purple/teal



now they're boring "sedona red"



As a kid I cheered for the DBacks partly because they have the best mascot in sports, partly because those are the best colors in sports. Then I grew up and realized baseball is lame and I dont care. I didn't even know they changed colors. Now that I do know I am gravely offended. Arizona was already too red, drat it. :argh:

Spoeank posted:

Non-traditional color schemes rule.

The Kings' purple/silver/black is fantastic and I'm like 95% sure they're going back to red/white/baby blue when the new arena opens, which is bullshit.

The Kings unis are awesome. Agreed.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Donkwich posted:

This season's made me very sick of navy blue

There's too much navy blue in the NFL

e: Case in point

Patriots
Cowboys
Broncos
Seahawks
Texans
Bears
Rams
Titans
Chargers

I've rarely seen the Cowboys' color uniforms though.



You mean orange now.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Spoeank posted:

Non-traditional color schemes rule.

The Kings' purple/silver/black is fantastic and I'm like 95% sure they're going back to red/white/baby blue when the new arena opens, which is bullshit.

Late 90s/early 00s Kings jerseys were sick as poo poo.



(e): I now realize you meant Sacremento.

Still, my point stands. :colbert:

Gyro Zeppeli fucked around with this message at 17:51 on Jan 18, 2016

WHOOPS
Nov 6, 2009

JPrime posted:

Yea, why the gently caress did they change? They only won a WS in those colors, and it wasn't so long ago. The new logo/font is rear end. :mad:

No doubt to make it look more "modern", much like how all the bird logos were given attitude after the turn of the century.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

Late 90s/early 00s Kings jerseys were sick as poo poo.



Wrong kings

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Fun fact, the LA Kings and LA Lakers (BULLSHIT TEAM) matched

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
yo gently caress the hockey kings

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



I made a casual fan's guide on who to root for in the coming weeks.

:siren: Long :siren:

The best way to cheer for a team once your's is eliminated, or you don't know a lot about football is to choose one person who has been in the league a long time, has never won a Superbowl, and this is probably their last best chance.
So without further ado,

The New England Patriots



Steven Jackson RB
Drafted 24th overall in 2004

Teams:
9 years on the LA St. Louis Rams
2 years on the Atlanta Falcons
Signed by the New England Patriots on Dec 21st 2015

Currently has 11 438 rushing yards: 18th all time
3x Pro Bowl
2x 2nd Team All Pro
2009 NFC Rushing Leader
Career rushing yards leader for the Rams

Fun Fact: Has never been on a winning team before being signed by New England this season.




Arizona Cardinals



Carson Palmer QB

Notes
Drafted 1st overall in 2003

Teams:
6 years with The Cincinnati Bengals
2 years with The Oakland Raiders
Was traded to Oakland for Oakland's 2012 1st Round Pick / 2013 2nd round pick (Conditional)
3 years with The Arizona Cardinals


40,036 Career Passing Yards: 18th all time.
259 Career Passing Touchdowns: 16th all time
2002 Heisman Trophy Winner
3x Pro Bowler
1x 2nd Team All Pro
PFF 2015 MVP

Fun Fact: Had never won a playoff game in his career before Saturday.




Jason Babin LB
Drafted 27th overall in 2004

Teams:
3 Years with the Houston Texans
1 Year with The Kansas City Chiefs / Tennessee Titans
3 Total Years with the Philadelphia Eagles
2 Years with the Jacksonville Jaguars
< 1 Year with the New York Jets
< 1 Year with the Baltimore Ravens
1 Year with the Arizona Cardinals

Has 62.5 career sacks, and a season high of 18 sacks in 2011 (with Philadelphia)

2x Pro Bowl
1x 2nd Team All Pro



Larry Fitzgerald WR
Drafted 3rd overall in 2011

Teams:
Spent his entire career with the Arizona Cardinals

13 336 Career receiving yards: 15th all time
9x Pro Bowl
1x 1st Team All Pro
2x 2nd Team All Pro
Cardinals career leader in receiving TDs/Receptions/Yards
Lost Superbowl 43 against the Pittsburgh Steelers (One of the best Superbowls ever)

Fun Fact: Has arguably the best hands of any receiver ever




The Denver Broncos



Demarcus Ware OLB
Drafted 11th overall in the 2005 NFL Draft

Teams:
Played 9 years for the Dallas Cowboys
Played 2 years for the Denver Broncos
9x Pro Bowl
4x 1st Team All Pro
3x 2nd Team All Pro
2008 Defensive Player of the Year
2x NFL Sack Leader
136 Career Sacks tied for 9th all time (Tied with Jared Allen)

Fun Fact: Is the second fastest player to 100 sacks. (Behind only Reggie White)




Evan Mathis OG
Drafted 79th overall in 2005

Teams:
3 Years with the Carolina Panthers
<1 Year with the Miami Dolphins
3 Years with the Cincinnati Bengals
4 Years with the Philadelphia Eagles
1 Year with the Denver Broncos

2x Pro Bowler
1x 1st Team All Pro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcFAw1x1sRU



Vernon Davis TE
Drafted 6th overall in 2006

Teams:
9.5 Years with the San Francisco 49ers
Traded with a 2015 7th round pick to the Denver Broncos for 2016 and 2017 6th Round pick
.5 Years with the Denver Broncos

2x Pro Bowler
1x 2nd Team All Pro

Fun Fact: Brother of Colts CB Vontae Davis, also once got tackled by the dick.



Otherwise,





The Carolina Panthers



Cortland Finnegan CB

Drafted 216th overall in 2006

Teams:
6 Years with the Tennessee Titans
2 Years with the St. Louis Rams
1 Year with the Miami Dolphins
1 Year with the Carolina Panthers

1x Pro Bowl
1x 1st Team All Pro

Fun Fact: Once got his rear end kicked by Andre Johnson



Otherwise,




Thomas Davis OLB

Drafted 14th Overall in 2005

Teams:
Played his entire career for the Carolina Panthers

1x Pro Bowl
1x All Pro

Fun Fact: Won the 2014 Walter Payton Man of the Year Award (An award given for a players volunteer and charity work)




Charles "Peanut" Tillman CB

Drafted 35th overall in 2003.

Teams:
12 Years for the Chicago Bears
1 Year for the Carolina Panthers

2x Pro Bowl
1x 1st Team All Pro

Has torn his ACL and has been IR'ed for the season. :rip:


Fun Fact: His nickname is Peanut, and is often referred to as "Peanut Tillman"

"Q: How did you get the nickname Peanut?

A: My aunt gave me the nickname when I was a little baby and it just stuck. I was a small kid growing up."




Is also a cool dude.


Jared Allen DE :swoon:
Drafted 126th in 2004

Teams
4 Years for the Kansas City Chiefs
Traded to Minnesota Vikings along with a 6th round pick for a 1st, 2 3rd round picks, and a 6th round pick.
6 Years for the Minnesota Vikings
1.5 Years for the Chicago Bears
Traded for a conditional 6th round pick
.5 Years for the Carolina Panthers

5x Pro Bowl
4x 1st Team All Pro
2x NFL Sack Leader
136 Career Sacks, tied for 9th all time. (With Demarcus Ware)
22 Sacks in one season ties him for 2nd all time in single season sacks. (Along with Justin Houston and Mark Gastineau. Michael Strahan has the record with 22.5)

Fractured a bone in his foot against SEA on Sunday, that will require surgery and end his season. :rip:

Fun Fact: Used to sport a mullet (before getting married) and would shave a racing stripe into the side for every sack he got during a season.






Edit: I forgot Jared Allen's greatest moment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTdRXMKh7VI

Paint Crop Pro fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jan 18, 2016

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
Finnegan :3:

Go cards though

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

If you have no personal stake in any currently in the playoff, you should be rooting for Larry Fitzgerald to get a ring. He's up there in terms of the greatest players ever to not win a ring.

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



I tried to find gifs from all the teams people played on, but for a few they near impossible to find (Mathis) or one play was literally all of the gifs they had of them (Finnegan/Babin)

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet
Your Jared Allen entry needs a GIF of him lighting up Johnny Knoxville.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Okay you just reminded me to root against the Panthers because gently caress Cortland Finnegan and anything associated with him.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Root for whomever you want. gently caress everyone else.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
Finnegan owns gently caress the haters
https://youtu.be/dRplHW-WQfQ

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

NC-17 posted:

Root for whomever you want no one, because your team isn't in the playoffs, and you're spiteful. gently caress everyone.

Much better.

Go Bird Gang

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Babin's cool, I wish we kept him.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

No Safe Word posted:

Okay you just reminded me to root against the Panthers because gently caress Cortland Finnegan and anything associated with him.

CARDS, BITCH!

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Metapod posted:

Finnegan owns gently caress the haters
https://youtu.be/dRplHW-WQfQ

Oh my god, Cortland Finnegan's MOM owns. Watch this video. She's a bad-rear end.

go 1995 cat themed expansion team

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009
There's also the time Jared Allen killed an elk with a hand-thrown spear. It's at 13:30 in this long-rear end video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfmOzW1KEKA

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

The X-man cometh posted:

There's also the time Jared Allen killed an elk with a hand-thrown spear. It's at 13:30 in this long-rear end video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfmOzW1KEKA

Jared Allen is a real-life Viking.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

MechaFrogzilla posted:

It's even worse in baseball. Nearly every team is some combination of red or blue.



Yeah, I see it.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

If you have no personal stake in any currently in the playoff, you should be rooting for Larry Fitzgerald to get a ring. He's up there in terms of the greatest players ever to not win a ring.

He shouldn't have signed with the pats if he wanted me to root for him.


edit: got confused with steve jackson.


anyway, gently caress the pats and the cards

got any sevens fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Jan 19, 2016

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

effectual posted:

He shouldn't have signed with the pats if he wanted me to root for him.

Huh? Larry has spent his entire career with the Cards.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

effectual posted:

He shouldn't have signed with the pats if he wanted me to root for him.

some guy with dreads, they all look the same etc

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

Huh? Larry has spent his entire career with the Cards.

I think he's talking about Randy Moss for some reason

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

No Safe Word posted:

some guy with dreads, they all look the same etc

Lol

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
Huh. This was from two years ago but can be applied to now:

http://imgur.com/Ks0pLIL

E: Actually Palmer is a geezer too but gently caress it

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal
I want Steven Jackson to get a ring so bad, but gently caress the pats. Go go Larry!

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

I really want jared to get his ring but I can't not root for Fitz and Palmer

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

IcePhoenix posted:

I really want jared to get his ring but I can't not root for Fitz and Palmer
This. I would be all for Carolina if they still had Steve Smith tho.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

gently caress rooting for the cards because of Fitzgerald, root for the Panthers because of Thomas Davis dude fought through hell to get back to being a player, this season he dislocated his finger disengaging from a block, popped that bitch back in place and made a tackle. Larry had his shot and blew it.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

BlindSite posted:

gently caress rooting for the cards because of Fitzgerald, root for the Panthers because of Thomas Davis dude fought through hell to get back to being a player, this season he dislocated his finger disengaging from a block, popped that bitch back in place and made a tackle. Larry had his shot and blew it.

me right now:

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

BlindSite posted:

gently caress rooting for the cards because of Fitzgerald, root for the Panthers because of Thomas Davis dude fought through hell to get back to being a player, this season he dislocated his finger disengaging from a block, popped that bitch back in place and made a tackle. Larry had his shot and blew it.

Yes Larry blew it not the lovely defense

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Metapod posted:

Yes Larry blew it not the lovely defense
Not some clown that got in his way when he was trying to chase down James Harrison who was streaking for the endzone after nabbing an INT right before the half.

Ramadu
Aug 25, 2004

2015 NFL MVP


Bort Bortles posted:

Not some clown that got in his way when he was trying to chase down James Harrison who was streaking for the endzone after nabbing an INT right before the half.

*eye twitches*

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

BlindSite posted:

gently caress rooting for the cards because of Fitzgerald, root for the Panthers because of Thomas Davis dude fought through hell to get back to being a player, this season he dislocated his finger disengaging from a block, popped that bitch back in place and made a tackle. Larry had his shot and blew it.

well this solidifies it, go cards

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whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet

Metapod posted:

Yes Larry blew it not the lovely defense

Don't forget the stable of QBs between Warner and Palmer that constituted one of the worst versions of "Marry, gently caress, Kill" ever.

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