Verisimilidude posted:

BURNNNNNN

quote:

THIS has to be one of the BEST crowning moments of awesome EVER. When I was in junior school, sixth year, some guy completly high on drugs tries to break into the school (to steal pencils to 'defend himself from zombies'). While the head was trying to phone the police, the other teachers where trying to keep the kids in the classrooms, my class bursts out through the back exit of the classroom and round the back stairs to see what's going on. Led by me, my friend Georgia, a boy called Dave and my best friend Chloe, we plotted the best way to drive this guy out. We snuck down the stairs and, with me at the front, the rest of the class went into a V shape and charged this guy. We pounced on him, dragged him to the floor, kicked him into submission and stood gaurd. At one point the guy got up and grabbed a smallish girl in my class. I wasn't taking any poo poo from some wierdo, so I pounced on him and sunk my teeth (yes, I broke skin) into his ear and dragged him onto the ground. We then chased him into the stationery cupbord and guarded the door until the police arivved. He thought he'd been attacked by evil anthropomorphic animals (of whom I was the ring-leader) and was completly terrified of us. Especially me. I was 'the evil purple panther girl' who had ripped a chunk out of his ear. And I'm normally the shy one who hides in the background.
And do you know what's really crap about it? We were sworn to secrecy by the police so that people wouldn't think that a bunch of 10-11 year olds could do a better job than the police.

Such Fun posted:

Such Fun posted:

Khazar-khum posted:

Pencils.

Sentient Data posted:

Ah, needlessly British terms in an American's story, where would tumblr be without you?

Khazar-khum posted:

Pencils.

Such Fun posted:

Sentient Data posted:

Ah, needlessly British terms in an American's story, where would tumblr be without you?

Such Fun posted:

Rondette posted:

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

"legion of warrior goddesses" makes me madder than it should.

cash crab posted:

cash crab posted:

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

And then I asked her politely "So, why are you glad that Martin Luther King lived?" Without missing a beat, she said "because of him, I get to be friends with my best friend!" And that's how my daughter taught me that friendship is colorblind!!!!! (shutterstock image of a black and white kid hugging) 1 like = you agree 1 share = your colorblind too

Such Fun posted:

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Is this a Dr. Who thing? I always assume that any STDH that makes references to a TV show I don't get while making me feel disturbingly uncomfortable at the same time must be a Dr. Who thing.

Evelyn Nesbit posted:

Doctor Who AND Supernatural. God help us all.

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Is this a Dr. Who thing? I always assume that any STDH that makes references to a TV show I don't get while making me feel disturbingly uncomfortable at the same time must be a Dr. Who thing.

cray zee lay dee posted:

Where to begin…well, we are approaching our 1 year anniversary and I still have not gotten over the hurt that I experienced on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of our life. The problems began the very day we got engaged and continued. I've never encountered such self-centered people in my life. To begin when my husband and I decided that we would pay for the entire wedding ourselves. This decision was made so that we didn't burden either side. There were no regrets regarding this decision and we were both happy with it. Our decisions/plans were made based on what we could afford. With each decision we made, we told them so that they didn't feel excluded and with EACH decision we were criticized. Not ONCE was there any nice words spoken. With each and EVERY decision, there was criticism. Here is what we encountered thanks to his family:

1. His mother wanted us to reduce the guest list. I'm not sure why considering it wouldn't affect her in any way shape or form. This conversation was held about 3 times. Her list consisted of "well I know this person won't show but we'll add them" ….

2. His mother felt thee reception hall was too far away (1/2 hr away). Considering the hall was in our price range and accommodated the number of guests. This conversation was also debated several times.

3. His mother wanted REAL flowers. Our decision was to use silk flowers to reduce cost. I was able to put the flowers together myself which saved us approximately 3 thousand dollars. This conversation was held 2 times (reason/justification provided each time for our decision) and then my bridesmaids were emailed requesting that I be talked into real flowers because they are so much prettier.

4. We had decided that in order to keep the size of our bridal party in control, we would not be putting boyfriends/girlfriends in the bridal party. That included my own brothers as well. His mother argued that his brother's girlfriend should be in it because they are getting married (no proposal). Well, two months went by and we stood by our decision, and the brother and girlfriend broke up.

5. His sister (18 years old) emailed me to tell me it was inconsiderate of me to pick out dresses for the bridesmaids that she didn't like. My response was it is our wedding and we are making decisions based on what we like. Our wedding did not revolve around her and with or without her we are getting married. She dropped out of the wedding.

6. On to the entertainment. We decided to go with a band that I had known. Since the band could play and would learn anything we asked them to, it was ideal for us. We had to hear on several occasions that a DJ would be so much better.

7. The bridal shower location was also another issue. Due to time constraints (our weekends we so busy) we decided to do ONE shower. V (his mother) was not too happy with this decision either. The hall was too far away (1/2 hour away).

8. My husband had asked me to include his mother in so that she feels a part of everything. So, I found something for her to do (since he indicated that was the problem) – I asked her to help set up for the shower, she refused.

9. His mother wore ALL BLACK for the ceremony.

10. His sister (18 year old) told us to go to he** as she walked out of the church after the ceremony.

11. 18 year old wrote "go to he**" in our guest book

12. The 18 year old decided to get heavily intoxicated with the alcohol that she brought to the hall with her. Considering she is not old enough to buy it and came with her parents, it's not a mystery where she got the alcohol.

13. I was given "the finger" by V's lovely sisters. The lovely women that they are. And one even decided to stick her tongue out at me as she walked by. Very mature ladies.

14. I was kicked by the 18 year old BRAT. One of the guests had approached me after the incident to warn me that she hears he in the bathroom. However, it was too late.

15. Both sisters proceeded to steal from the hall. They made 3 trips from the hall to the vehicle taking centerpieces and bottles of wine from the tables. When confronted, the 18 year old Vikki decided to dump hot wax on me.

16. The 18 year old decided to also run around calling all the bridesmaids B*tches and flipping the bird.

17. V (despite numerous guests from THEIR side going up to her to tell her everything her rotten daughter was doing) did NOTHING. I guess this doesn't fall under "how to be a wonderful mother in law / sister in law" category.

18. My husband did nothing either. This has also put a strain on our relationship.

19. V's wonderful sisters (my husband's selfish aunts) couldn't even spring for a CARD let alone a gift.

20. The sisters were ever so generous. NO card as well. 1 year and STILL no apology. They still believe that it was very inconsiderate of ME (not us) for the decisions that WE made. And that the 18 year old is "ONLY a child". Well who stopped that "child" from drinking and making a fool out herself and the rest of the family?

bringmyfishback posted:

Starts normal, then goes off the rails.


UGH THEY KICKED ME AND RAN AROUND CALLING EVERYONE BITCHES AND THEY DIDN'T SEND A CARD like who DOES that ladies?!/!?

13Pandora13 posted:

Uh all of this sounds like a really reasonable reason to be upset? Weddings are like $50 a plate on the cheap end and $200+ on higher.

Decrepus posted:

There is always one poster saying that insane stories sound legit.

TheMadMilkman posted:

I want to believe this one. In my head, it all happened, but since the writer is the most insufferable person in the world, she deserved all of the bad treatment.

Or maybe I've just watched too many episodes of bridezillas. Don't judge me. I work from home and need some level of distraction.

kizudarake posted:

During the "for richer or for poorer" part, I whispered to my wife "there's going to be a lot of poorer." She thought I said porn, looked horrified, asked me to repeat that, I said poorer again, she understood, everything was ok.

Drunk Tomato posted:

Should have doubled down instead of waffling out.

But really it's hilarious to imagine someone choosing that moment of all moments to inform their soon-to-be spouse how much porno they plan to watch

quote:

Their Love Awakens
HOME | BERKELEY, CA, USA | ENGAGED
(My fiancé and I are both huge nerds. This is about two weeks before the new Star Wars movies come out and we’re discussing the upcoming films.)

Me: “I’m starting to get that excited feeling in my stomach. I can’t wait to see them! I mean, I know that once I see them they’ll be terrible and my very soul will be crushed, but until then—”

Fiancé: *talking over me* “You might even say you’ll have…”

Me: *at the same time* “—I’ve got…”

Both Of Us: *simultaneously* “A New Hope!”

Khazar-khum posted:

Just so long as they share, right?

The limo never came to pick us up, so we rode to the reception hall in a friend's 1960 Chrysler. At least it was white and clean. My Mom was waiting for my MIL to do something at the church so she could kill her. Before the wedding, MIL had begged the Bishop to prevent it any way he could. Fortunately Father Joe went to bat for us and she was reduced to fuming in the back row. It was 27 years before I could speak to my MIL without her being angry with me or insulting. At least when she died we had reconciled. I hope she liked the eulogy I gave for her.

Rick_Hunter posted:

So were you not Catholic or something?

kizudarake posted:

My wedding was really reasonable. I, my parents, and my wife's parents each chipped in 2000 bucks per group, 6k total, and we paid for the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and the photos out of it, we had a lovely day with minor drama that was not a huge deal at all, and everyone got along.

Drama:

Best man's wife (rightfully) was pissed because he was flirting on Facebook. She bailed out of helping decorate the hall, which barely affected anything, and didn't come to the wedding at all, which meant she didn't bring my best man's shoes, belt, socks, and underwear for the wedding. No big deal, I lived 3 minutes from wal-mart, and had his suit, shirt, tie and cuff links.

Dressing room at the church was still locked when my wife and her maid of honor showed. I called the preacher, he came and opened it up.

During the "for richer or for poorer" part, I whispered to my wife "there's going to be a lot of poorer." She thought I said porn, looked horrified, asked me to repeat that, I said poorer again, she understood, everything was ok.

We'd packed the car with our luggage for the honeymoon, and planned to take it from the church to the reception, so we could cut out of the reception early to get on the road to Gatlinburg, TN. Father-in-law surprised us with a limo, didn't think through logistics. Entire wedding party, including two ushers(my dad and brother), best man, maid of honor, my parents, her parents, and brother's girlfriend have to pile into 10 person limo. We get deposited at the reception, father-in-law expects me to tip the driver. All I have are 50s, so the driver gets a 50 dollar tip. Bride and maid of honor's coats, purses, clothes(wedding being December 18) are all locked in church. Best man remembers to grab our coats. No transport back to church to get stuff and car without begging rides from extended family. Instead of leaving town at 4, we leave at 8 pm, after getting someone to unlock church and tracking everything down.

We have to drop best man off at home on way out of town, as his wife bailed. This was an hour detour.

I got food poisoning at Hard Rock Cafe in Gatlinburg on last night of honeymoon.

Both sides of the family got along all day.