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Verisimilidude posted:
Bitches be crazy.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 07:38 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 01:59 |
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normally, when i message or email strangers, i make sure to let them know from the get-go what i'm after. i don't open with "hey are you free?? ;-)"
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 08:05 |
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Pencils.quote:THIS has to be one of the BEST crowning moments of awesome EVER. When I was in junior school, sixth year, some guy completly high on drugs tries to break into the school (to steal pencils to 'defend himself from zombies'). While the head was trying to phone the police, the other teachers where trying to keep the kids in the classrooms, my class bursts out through the back exit of the classroom and round the back stairs to see what's going on. Led by me, my friend Georgia, a boy called Dave and my best friend Chloe, we plotted the best way to drive this guy out. We snuck down the stairs and, with me at the front, the rest of the class went into a V shape and charged this guy. We pounced on him, dragged him to the floor, kicked him into submission and stood gaurd. At one point the guy got up and grabbed a smallish girl in my class. I wasn't taking any poo poo from some wierdo, so I pounced on him and sunk my teeth (yes, I broke skin) into his ear and dragged him onto the ground. We then chased him into the stationery cupbord and guarded the door until the police arivved. He thought he'd been attacked by evil anthropomorphic animals (of whom I was the ring-leader) and was completly terrified of us. Especially me. I was 'the evil purple panther girl' who had ripped a chunk out of his ear. And I'm normally the shy one who hides in the background.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 08:46 |
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 09:13 |
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of course the selfie won't upload
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 09:15 |
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Well this is just depressing.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 09:39 |
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This is both the most Tumblr and TV Tropes thing I have ever read.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 10:06 |
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HA HA! I RECOGNIZE THING! IS FUNNY!
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 11:34 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Pencils. Ah, needlessly British terms in an American's story, where would tumblr be without you?
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 12:03 |
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Sentient Data posted:Ah, needlessly British terms in an American's story, where would tumblr be without you? What do you call pencils in America? E: Is it the head?
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 12:17 |
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Writey-sticks, of course "Sixth year" instead of sixth grade or freshman "Head" instead of teacher or whatever other specific authority figure Possibly "junior school" instead of junior high (or elementary/middle, the stated age makes junior high seem wrong), though that might be a regional dialect
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 12:23 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Pencils. "I am so gooder than police that they made me pinky swear not to tell anyone. They didn't even file a report, would you believe it? No record of this ever happening, anywhere. Don't bother looking it up. Secret." Your grandfather would be correct.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 15:15 |
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Sentient Data posted:Ah, needlessly British terms in an American's story, where would tumblr be without you? What gave away that it was an American?
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 16:56 |
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Exactly four words of that are true (the last four)
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 17:14 |
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 18:03 |
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I changed my mind. These are the worst STDH--the kind where an adult makes some poo poo up to make a fictional little kid sound eloquent and mature and oh-so-deep for his/her age. And then I asked her politely "So, why are you glad that Martin Luther King lived?" Without missing a beat, she said "because of him, I get to be friends with my best friend!" And that's how my daughter taught me that friendship is colorblind!!!!! (shutterstock image of a black and white kid hugging) 1 like = you agree 1 share = your colorblind too
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 18:15 |
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Maybe one day that lady will learn how to be a mother so that her kid doesn't have to be an adult at 11.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 19:03 |
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 21:06 |
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"legion of warrior goddesses" makes me madder than it should.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 21:12 |
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:"legion of warrior goddesses" makes me madder than it should. There's so many layers to this one. I like the suggestion that a grown rear end man would be completely intimidated by a bunch of children with makeup, or the relentless nods at "battle" and related terms.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 21:14 |
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When I was in high school we tried the "they can't ground everyone! " theory. Turns out they can.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 21:29 |
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why would they care enough GOTTA STAY FAI posted:And then I asked her politely "So, why are you glad that Martin Luther King lived?" Without missing a beat, she said "because of him, I get to be friends with my best friend!" And that's how my daughter taught me that friendship is colorblind!!!!! (shutterstock image of a black and white kid hugging) 1 like = you agree 1 share = your colorblind too The guilt-tripping options are always my favorite in these evolved email forwards.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 21:57 |
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Is this a Dr. Who thing? I always assume that any STDH that makes references to a TV show I don't get while making me feel disturbingly uncomfortable at the same time must be a Dr. Who thing.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 22:24 |
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Is this a Dr. Who thing? I always assume that any STDH that makes references to a TV show I don't get while making me feel disturbingly uncomfortable at the same time must be a Dr. Who thing. Doctor Who AND Supernatural. God help us all.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 22:38 |
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Evelyn Nesbit posted:Doctor Who AND Supernatural. God help us all. Just missing the trifecta of SuperWhoLock. e: The fact that I know this "term" brings great shame upon my family.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 22:45 |
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Is this a Dr. Who thing? I always assume that any STDH that makes references to a TV show I don't get while making me feel disturbingly uncomfortable at the same time must be a Dr. Who thing. It is a Doctor Who thing, Matt Smith played the Doctor for a few seasons, he, like David Tennant before him happened to be that combination of good looking yet socially awkward that these sort of fans go apeshit for, the current Doctor meanwhile is a grouchy old man, his actor is only mid fifties but might as well be over 100 years old to them.
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# ? Jan 20, 2016 23:39 |
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Starts normal, then goes off the rails.cray zee lay dee posted:
UGH THEY KICKED ME AND RAN AROUND CALLING EVERYONE BITCHES AND THEY DIDN'T SEND A CARD like who DOES that ladies?!/!?
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 03:37 |
Good for that young couple who has thousands of dollars to pay for their own wedding out of principle.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:18 |
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bringmyfishback posted:Starts normal, then goes off the rails. Uh all of this sounds like a really reasonable reason to be upset? Weddings are like $50 a plate on the cheap end and $200+ on higher.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:25 |
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13Pandora13 posted:Uh all of this sounds like a really reasonable reason to be upset? Weddings are like $50 a plate on the cheap end and $200+ on higher. Uh half of it sounds fake. Really, really fake. As I said, it started off reasonable, and then suddenly there was all this stuff about a college freshman drunkenly kicking people and her aunts flipping off bridesmaids? Really? Okay. Plus, if someone kicked me and had apparently been announcing plans to kick me in the bathroom to all and sundry, as the writer alleges, then I would not give a poo poo if that person sent me a card. I agree that most of this is realistic. I don't think the stuff involving the eighteen-year-old happened. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 04:49 on Jan 21, 2016 |
# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:47 |
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Even if it's real, and even if weddings are expensive, any wedding chat especially complaints always sound super shrill to me.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:52 |
There is always one poster saying that insane stories sound legit.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:53 |
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Decrepus posted:There is always one poster saying that insane stories sound legit. I want to believe this one. In my head, it all happened, but since the writer is the most insufferable person in the world, she deserved all of the bad treatment. Or maybe I've just watched too many episodes of bridezillas. Don't judge me. I work from home and need some level of distraction.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 05:21 |
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TheMadMilkman posted:I want to believe this one. In my head, it all happened, but since the writer is the most insufferable person in the world, she deserved all of the bad treatment. I loving love Bridezillas and I don't have ANY excuse.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:54 |
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My wedding was really reasonable. I, my parents, and my wife's parents each chipped in 2000 bucks per group, 6k total, and we paid for the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and the photos out of it, we had a lovely day with minor drama that was not a huge deal at all, and everyone got along. Drama: Best man's wife (rightfully) was pissed because he was flirting on Facebook. She bailed out of helping decorate the hall, which barely affected anything, and didn't come to the wedding at all, which meant she didn't bring my best man's shoes, belt, socks, and underwear for the wedding. No big deal, I lived 3 minutes from wal-mart, and had his suit, shirt, tie and cuff links. Dressing room at the church was still locked when my wife and her maid of honor showed. I called the preacher, he came and opened it up. During the "for richer or for poorer" part, I whispered to my wife "there's going to be a lot of poorer." She thought I said porn, looked horrified, asked me to repeat that, I said poorer again, she understood, everything was ok. We'd packed the car with our luggage for the honeymoon, and planned to take it from the church to the reception, so we could cut out of the reception early to get on the road to Gatlinburg, TN. Father-in-law surprised us with a limo, didn't think through logistics. Entire wedding party, including two ushers(my dad and brother), best man, maid of honor, my parents, her parents, and brother's girlfriend have to pile into 10 person limo. We get deposited at the reception, father-in-law expects me to tip the driver. All I have are 50s, so the driver gets a 50 dollar tip. Bride and maid of honor's coats, purses, clothes(wedding being December 18) are all locked in church. Best man remembers to grab our coats. No transport back to church to get stuff and car without begging rides from extended family. Instead of leaving town at 4, we leave at 8 pm, after getting someone to unlock church and tracking everything down. We have to drop best man off at home on way out of town, as his wife bailed. This was an hour detour. I got food poisoning at Hard Rock Cafe in Gatlinburg on last night of honeymoon. Both sides of the family got along all day.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:36 |
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kizudarake posted:During the "for richer or for poorer" part, I whispered to my wife "there's going to be a lot of poorer." She thought I said porn, looked horrified, asked me to repeat that, I said poorer again, she understood, everything was ok. Should have doubled down instead of waffling out. But really it's hilarious to imagine someone choosing that moment of all moments to inform their soon-to-be spouse how much porno they plan to watch
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:21 |
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Drunk Tomato posted:Should have doubled down instead of waffling out. Just so long as they share, right? The limo never came to pick us up, so we rode to the reception hall in a friend's 1960 Chrysler. At least it was white and clean. My Mom was waiting for my MIL to do something at the church so she could kill her. Before the wedding, MIL had begged the Bishop to prevent it any way he could. Fortunately Father Joe went to bat for us and she was reduced to fuming in the back row. It was 27 years before I could speak to my MIL without her being angry with me or insulting. At least when she died we had reconciled. I hope she liked the eulogy I gave for her. I hate these people. quote:Their Love Awakens
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:30 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Just so long as they share, right? So were you not Catholic or something?
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:37 |
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Rick_Hunter posted:So were you not Catholic or something? I'm Catholic, all right. She just hated me because I'm Hispanic.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:50 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 01:59 |
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kizudarake posted:My wedding was really reasonable. I, my parents, and my wife's parents each chipped in 2000 bucks per group, 6k total, and we paid for the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and the photos out of it, we had a lovely day with minor drama that was not a huge deal at all, and everyone got along. I wish this post didn't happen, but alas
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 13:11 |