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Herb Dington
Oct 6, 2013

Fil5000 posted:

Which mech has the most junk up in it's trunk



KCB-BUTT

Scoop that butt meat, yeah...

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Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
I never read any battletech novels, but I actually think the classic "successor states" is a cool setting with lots of opportunity. If you can ignore the 1980s weaboo garbage and rampaging Mary Sueism, it's not terrible. Mysterious Comstar, pirate kingdoms in the darkness, civilization trying to find a way forward after generations of devastation. The Kentares Massacre. Mercenaries. The 100th take on sci-fi Space Feudalism. Little blurbs in the mech descriptions about whatever badass legendary Whitworth pilot got killed on some frozen ice world. Very charming stuff.

Then the Clans show up and everything just becomes retarded. There's like twenty different clans all built on principles reflected by whatever stupid-name rear end baboon or catfish, like, loving animal names? Seriously? And then they built mechs that look like the animals, of course. And there's, like, kung fu rituals and TRIBAL LOREMASTERS and poo poo, and one of the clans is religious and one of them is all about money or something, and blah blah blah. It would be like trying to get the NFL to work if they players had to live a life inspired by tigers and dolphins and pirates instead of just being named after them.

So the clans invade and smash up the place, and then they have to stop after a big e-honoure ritual showdown, and then every Mary Sue in the galaxy goes and fights them on their home turf. Then Com Star gets taken over by religious fanatics and attacks everyone else in a JIHAD and a whole new generation of Mary Sues fights them. The whole thing makes about as much sense as building a war machine in the shape of a human being and sticking the pilot in the head piece and having it lumber around getting stuck on fences, and it can't lift up its arms to fire from shoulder-height.

Airspace
Nov 5, 2010

Tujague posted:

And then they built mechs that look like the animals, of course.

Uhhh...

Can you give examples? None of the mechs I can think of look anything like their animal name.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

Tujague posted:

I never read any battletech novels, but I actually think the classic "successor states" is a cool setting with lots of opportunity. If you can ignore the 1980s weaboo garbage and rampaging Mary Sueism, it's not terrible. Mysterious Comstar, pirate kingdoms in the darkness, civilization trying to find a way forward after generations of devastation. The Kentares Massacre. Mercenaries. The 100th take on sci-fi Space Feudalism. Little blurbs in the mech descriptions about whatever badass legendary Whitworth pilot got killed on some frozen ice world. Very charming stuff.

Then the Clans show up and everything just becomes retarded. There's like twenty different clans all built on principles reflected by whatever stupid-name rear end baboon or catfish, like, loving animal names? Seriously? And then they built mechs that look like the animals, of course. And there's, like, kung fu rituals and TRIBAL LOREMASTERS and poo poo, and one of the clans is religious and one of them is all about money or something, and blah blah blah. It would be like trying to get the NFL to work if they players had to live a life inspired by tigers and dolphins and pirates instead of just being named after them.

So the clans invade and smash up the place, and then they have to stop after a big e-honoure ritual showdown, and then every Mary Sue in the galaxy goes and fights them on their home turf. Then Com Star gets taken over by religious fanatics and attacks everyone else in a JIHAD and a whole new generation of Mary Sues fights them. The whole thing makes about as much sense as building a war machine in the shape of a human being and sticking the pilot in the head piece and having it lumber around getting stuck on fences, and it can't lift up its arms to fire from shoulder-height.

You missed the part where Space AT&T blows up the communication systems thus hitting the reset button on the universe because FASA is a bunch of lazy talentless hacks when it comes to story

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

Raven.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

Airspace posted:

Uhhh...

Can you give examples? None of the mechs I can think of look anything like their animal name.

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Mandrill

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Kodiak

there was a pony mech too I think

A Curvy Goonette
Jul 3, 2007

"Anyone who enjoys MWO is a shitty player. You have to hate it in order to be pro like me."

I'm actually just very good at curb stomping randoms on a team. :ssh:

Tujague posted:

I never read any battletech novels, but I actually think the classic "successor states" is a cool setting with lots of opportunity. If you can ignore the 1980s weaboo garbage and rampaging Mary Sueism, it's not terrible. Mysterious Comstar, pirate kingdoms in the darkness, civilization trying to find a way forward after generations of devastation. The Kentares Massacre. Mercenaries. The 100th take on sci-fi Space Feudalism. Little blurbs in the mech descriptions about whatever badass legendary Whitworth pilot got killed on some frozen ice world. Very charming stuff.

Then the Clans show up and everything just becomes retarded. There's like twenty different clans all built on principles reflected by whatever stupid-name rear end baboon or catfish, like, loving animal names? Seriously? And then they built mechs that look like the animals, of course. And there's, like, kung fu rituals and TRIBAL LOREMASTERS and poo poo, and one of the clans is religious and one of them is all about money or something, and blah blah blah. It would be like trying to get the NFL to work if they players had to live a life inspired by tigers and dolphins and pirates instead of just being named after them.

So the clans invade and smash up the place, and then they have to stop after a big e-honoure ritual showdown, and then every Mary Sue in the galaxy goes and fights them on their home turf. Then Com Star gets taken over by religious fanatics and attacks everyone else in a JIHAD and a whole new generation of Mary Sues fights them. The whole thing makes about as much sense as building a war machine in the shape of a human being and sticking the pilot in the head piece and having it lumber around getting stuck on fences, and it can't lift up its arms to fire from shoulder-height.

Ah, Kentares. 52 million Davion combatants bravely defeated by superior Kuritan tactics and bushido. As Alexander the Great wrote in The Art of War, the way to honor your enemy the most is to provide no mercy to them, even when asked.

Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
Raven aint' poo poo. I mean, sure, putting a beak on a robot is dumb, but it gets way worse.

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Thunder_Stallion

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Eyrie

This one walks on its loving knuckles

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Mandrill

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule
speaking of the Kodiak

Airspace
Nov 5, 2010

Fair enough, I forgot the Mandrill existed and I apparently have the Kodiak confused with something else.

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 26, 2007

Never Stop Posting

Pattonesque posted:

speaking of the Kodiak



I'm hard.

Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Balius

It was a formative experience for a young goon, watching his beloved fandom take a hard turn into tardville. I had to choose between scoffing at everything for the rest of my life and pretending that this poo poo wasn't dumb as hell and ending up like that redditor with "multiple degrees in literary fields" quoted on the last page.

No regrets, dog.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule
and also

Oh Snapple!
Dec 27, 2005

Cyrano4747 posted:

The problem has nothing to do with the mechanics of the game themselves. Buff or nerf sniping/brawling/whatever and it doesn't loving matter as long as the maps each have a dominant play style that they favor. The key to fixing these problems is to design maps where both styles of play are effective. The best example of this within MWO itself is Crimson Strait. You have some big, open areas where long range mechs can really gently caress up anyone caught out in the open, but you also have some narrow, congested areas that can be used to get around those. The canyons map is also similar in this regard, and to a lesser extent so is mining collective. Note that the solo maps that everyone hates are ones that enforce a single play style. Dropped in a brawler on polar highlands or alpine? Might as well just overheat-suicide and grab another match.


I'm glad you posted this because it's been my primary problem with the existence of Highlands (and also Alpine).

You mentioned Crimson Strait and Canyon Network as two maps that allow for several styles of play, but I honestly feel like every map outside of Highlands and Alpine is conducive to this - which is why these two in particular stick out so goddamn much. You can drop onto pretty much every other map in whatever kind of (sensible) build you want and not be at any kind of real disadvantage for it. In my experiences they all allow for sniping, brawling, and gently caress even lurming without actively penalizing you for dropping onto whatever map with a particular loadout (even if the map might not be completely favorable to it - this can usually still be overcome and you can meaningfully contribute).

Highlands and Alpine though? Drop long range or blow yourself up.

Bait and Swatch
Sep 5, 2012

Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread

Wasn't the Raven a new design built by House Liao rather than the clans?

mashed
Jul 27, 2004

Those claws and no melee :negative:

Lemon-Lime
Aug 6, 2009

:swoon:

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

My favorite mechs were the ones that were repurposed farm equipment with like hatchets and chainsaws in tabletop.

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 26, 2007

Never Stop Posting

So it looks like 4 medium lasers in the right arm, 2 ballistics in the right torso, a CT laser, and at least an SRM 6 in the left torso. The left arm is obscured but possibly 4 more lasers?
Combined with what looks like Atlas hitboxes it could be a good mech.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007


Holy poo poo it looks like a Swoll Dad

Stringbean
Aug 6, 2010

Random Number posted:

So it looks like 4 medium lasers in the right arm, 2 ballistics in the right torso, a CT laser, and at least an SRM 6 in the left torso. The left arm is obscured but possibly 4 more lasers?
Combined with what looks like Atlas hitboxes it could be a good mech.

That ballistics looks like a UAC of some sort. So it could just be a single Ballistics hardpoint.

It's a fat Dad

Bait and Swatch
Sep 5, 2012

Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread
More clan animal mechs:
Fire Scorpion of clan Goliath scorpion
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Fire_Scorpion

The rabid coyote of clan coyote
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Rabid_Coyote

Then there's the stalking spider, from clan cloud cobra for some reason:


Oh, it jumps. Like a jumping spider if you will.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

Random Number posted:

So it looks like 4 medium lasers in the right arm, 2 ballistics in the right torso, a CT laser, and at least an SRM 6 in the left torso. The left arm is obscured but possibly 4 more lasers?
Combined with what looks like Atlas hitboxes it could be a good mech.

I think it'll play like a Dad but you won't quite be able to do the twist-fire-twist back in .1 seconds playstyle. UAC plus the energy loadout (8 SPLs, maybe?) mean you'll have to stare for a bit

then again you'll be tooling around in a near-70 KPH 100-tonner with JJ and MASC, sooooo

Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
Sounds perfect for a LRMboat!!!!

A FESTIVE SKELETON
Oct 2, 2011

TIS THE SEASON BITCH
I recall seeing the original art for the Kodiak on Sarna and I thought it looked goofy as poo poo, but it seems that PGI have a nack for making goofy mechs (that is to say, just about all of them) look badass. If the Kodiak plays anything like an Atlas would, I'm sold.

On the totem mechs, I guess the Ebon Jaguar is one they already added, but jeezy petes it's ugly as piss in its original form. It seems Clan Wolf has some pretty salvageable totem mechs as well:

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Arctic_Wolf
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Warwolf
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Wulfen

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

Kodiak looks neat

Sarmhan
Nov 1, 2011

The Kodiak has great hardpoint options, this is the bare minimum based on the stock loadouts. They should be nice and high too based on the model.
1- 1 CT energy, 4 energy in each arm, 1 ballistic RT, 2 missile LT
2- 1 CT energy, 2 energy in each arm 1 ballistic RT, 1 missile LT,
3- 1 CT energy, 1 ballistic RT and LT, 2 energy in each arm.

Lemon-Lime
Aug 6, 2009

Stringbean posted:

It's a fat Dad

It looks like a very angry, very hateful dad.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Washout posted:

She succeeds in every task set before her with no problems whatsoever and why am I even arguing about these terrible books that I hate? And no that was not me.

That does not make her a Mary Sue, and she doesn't succeed at overcoming her crippling emotional problems. She's very good at solving immediate physical threats because that's pretty much all she's capable of handling. It's why her first resort to all of her problems is violence, which is why she's completely useless in the third novel in her own trilogy, because the problems put before her are too complex for 'find someone and break their nose' to be effective.

She's a 1980s action movie star. And mostly she succeeds at getting her friends killed.


It's fine that you don't like her or her trilogy, but there are far worse offenders.

Such as:
- Kid who finds a cache of Clan `Mechs on a world the Clans never set foot on and then destroys an entire pirate BattleMech company by himself.
- Elemental who takes out an Atlas without any other elementals to back him up.
- A literal terrorist whose villains are all two-dimensional moustache-twirling cardboard cutouts so the novel he's in can pretend he's not a completely abhorrent human being
- A Word of Blake Sleeper Agent who captures 7 Clan `Mechs in his first outing as a mercenary and then captures 15 more on his second after killing an Elemental with a screwdriver and a puddle of water.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

sarmhan posted:

The Kodiak has great hardpoint options, this is the bare minimum based on the stock loadouts. They should be nice and high too based on the model.
1- 1 CT energy, 4 energy in each arm, 1 ballistic RT, 2 missile LT
2- 1 CT energy, 2 energy in each arm 1 ballistic RT, 1 missile LT,
3- 1 CT energy, 1 ballistic RT and LT, 2 energy in each arm.

So like ...

1. 8 CSPL, CUAC/20, 2 CSRM6A

2. 3 CLPL, CGauss

3. 2 CGauss, 2/3 CLPL or 4 CERML or

Washout
Jun 27, 2003

"Your toy soldiers are not pigmented to my scrupulous standards. As a result, you are not worthy of my time. Good day sir"

Oh Snapple! posted:

I'm glad you posted this because it's been my primary problem with the existence of Highlands (and also Alpine).

You mentioned Crimson Strait and Canyon Network as two maps that allow for several styles of play, but I honestly feel like every map outside of Highlands and Alpine is conducive to this - which is why these two in particular stick out so goddamn much. You can drop onto pretty much every other map in whatever kind of (sensible) build you want and not be at any kind of real disadvantage for it. In my experiences they all allow for sniping, brawling, and gently caress even lurming without actively penalizing you for dropping onto whatever map with a particular loadout (even if the map might not be completely favorable to it - this can usually still be overcome and you can meaningfully contribute).

Highlands and Alpine though? Drop long range or blow yourself up.

But got a 10 kill game on alpine with my hunchback so therefore

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

When does clan dad come out

Devorum
Jul 30, 2005

ZenVulgarity posted:

When does clan dad come out

I'm wondering if it's a solo release or "Wave 4".

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 26, 2007

Never Stop Posting
Also Clan Dad is not an omnimech, right?

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

Random Number posted:

Also Clan Dad is not an omnimech, right?

Correct

I wonder how much tonnage it would have with max engine/armor/endo

Sarmhan
Nov 1, 2011

No, clan dad is a battlemech, and can mount a 400 XL allowing it to get up to 64.8 km/h without speed tweak. Also, the Kodiak 2 gets jump jets, I forgot to mention that.

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

Clan Dad has game?

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

ZenVulgarity posted:

Clan Dad has game?

Bear Dad can indeed jump.

Sarmhan
Nov 1, 2011

For the curious: A clan dad with FF, endo, 3-points-off-max armor and a 400 XL gets 44 tons of weaponry. You can get 11.5 more tons by going down to an XL 350.

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ZombyDog
Jul 11, 2001

Ere to fix yer gubbinz

Oh Snapple! posted:

I'm glad you posted this because it's been my primary problem with the existence of Highlands (and also Alpine).

You mentioned Crimson Strait and Canyon Network as two maps that allow for several styles of play, but I honestly feel like every map outside of Highlands and Alpine is conducive to this - which is why these two in particular stick out so goddamn much. You can drop onto pretty much every other map in whatever kind of (sensible) build you want and not be at any kind of real disadvantage for it. In my experiences they all allow for sniping, brawling, and gently caress even lurming without actively penalizing you for dropping onto whatever map with a particular loadout (even if the map might not be completely favorable to it - this can usually still be overcome and you can meaningfully contribute).

Highlands and Alpine though? Drop long range or blow yourself up.
I'm the worst goon because almost all of my robots have a 270m range limit, but I really don't hate Highlands or Alpine, I mean I'll piss and moan when they do come up, but I don't feel hugely disadvantaged when they do come up. I'm in my Ghost Dad, or my brawly Marauders or my Cataphract 0XP, and sure ECM helps when I can take it, but I enjoy flanking from defilades into brawl range while the firing lines are occupied on each other on Highlands, and you don't have to climb up the slope under withering fire, objective allowing you can ignore Candy mountain all together.

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