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Harold Stassen posted:Hmm.. do I vote for "Hale & Healthy Harry" or am I a Van Buren Boy through and through... Have you considered that Martin Van Buren might actually be a sissy that embraces "New York values" over traditional American virtues? He's a wimp that can't stand the taste of good, wholesome hard apple cider.  God, look at that elitist. What a disgrace. I bet he speaks Dutch at home. CuwiKhons posted:Oh my god, everyone's awful. There's always more, and it's always worse. QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 16:56 on Feb 7, 2016 |
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Feb 7, 2016 16:49
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Voting for Van Buren, the first DJ president.
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Feb 7, 2016 17:04
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I love these things. 
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Feb 7, 2016 18:11
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QuoProQuid posted:As an aside, I don't think I have ever hated a party as much as the Whigs with their "hey, let's run six competing tickets in a first past the post system and see what happens" strategy. The best thing is Van Buren won a majority of the popular vote anyway so it literally did nothing.
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Feb 7, 2016 18:58
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I think the only one of them who isn't completely awful is Francis Granger. Tippecanoe and Webster both are terrible, but my hope is that if one of them gets elected, they'll die in office, and Granger can be president.
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Feb 7, 2016 19:17
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i guess in theory if the whigs had nominated candidates with the local appeal to win states with more than half the EVs (although i forget the timeline on when different states went from proportional EV allocation to all-or-nothing) and split a majority of the EVs amongst themselves, sending it to the house, then van buren could still have won the popular vote by running up his total in states where the whigs hadn't nominated a favorite son, and it wouldn't have mattered but that didn't happen either
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Feb 7, 2016 19:36
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oystertoadfish posted:i guess in theory if the whigs had nominated candidates with the local appeal to win states with more than half the EVs (although i forget the timeline on when different states went from proportional EV allocation to all-or-nothing) and split a majority of the EVs amongst themselves, sending it to the house, then van buren could still have won the popular vote by running up his total in states where the whigs hadn't nominated a favorite son, and it wouldn't have mattered I'm being a little hard on the Whigs because I had to write up profiles for ten different candidates. Really, their plan wasn't completely crazy. The Whigs were honest with their supporters that they were never going to win a majority of electoral votes, or even a majority of the popular vote. The goal was always to trigger a run-off election. While their scheme failed, it wasn't that far off base. Had William Harrison won 4,000 more votes in Pennsylvania, the election would have gone exactly as planned. Instead of Van Buren sweeping across the country, Congress would have been forced to elected William H. Harrison, who would then have had to make major concessions to the various factions of the Whig Party, much like John Quincy Adams did in 1820. It would have resolved some of the Whig Party's ideological issues while unseating a major Jacksonian. Unfortunately, that didn't work and the Whigs ended up looking really dumb in the election's aftermath. QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 19:46 on Feb 7, 2016 |
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Feb 7, 2016 19:43
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:Webster/Devil '36 This. I literally forgot how much Van Buren threw in with Jackson in his time as VP. Van Buren is a great candidate if you just look at his compromises to Jacksonian thought. But his loving rhetoric is Jackson through and through and I can't vote for Jackson. So, America's Greatest Lawyer gets my vote.
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Feb 7, 2016 19:47
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Webster/Granger just by virtue of being the most anti-slavery ticket, as low as that bar is in this period.
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Feb 7, 2016 20:20
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tippecanoe and granger too, where is our respect for war heroes? a whole generation has passed since our last glorious battles and we have weaned a soft youth
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Feb 7, 2016 20:24
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ill go with webster
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Feb 7, 2016 20:26
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Three cheers for Webster, New England's native son!
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Feb 7, 2016 20:37
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Granger seems pretty decent all things considered, and Webster's at the very least tolerable *cue a post with indisputable evidence that they were actually proto-nazis or some other horrible poo poo*
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Feb 7, 2016 21:22
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Bryter posted:Granger seems pretty decent all things considered, and Webster's at the very least tolerable Daniel Webster was pretty decent for his whole career but then threw his legacy away by supporting the Compromise of 1850, going from beloved Whig statesman to detested turncoat instantly.
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Feb 7, 2016 21:27
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Abner Cadaver II posted:Daniel Webster was pretty decent for his whole career but then threw his legacy away by supporting the Compromise of 1850, going from beloved Whig statesman to detested turncoat instantly. He also made a big deal of being in favor of the Fugitive Slave Act.
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Feb 7, 2016 21:49
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voting for Daniel Webster so as to continue the New England junta
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Feb 7, 2016 21:55
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To me, Webster seems like kind of the early nineteenth century equivalent of the "useless liberal" leftists on forums complain about. So like, p decent by the standards of the time, but not really willing to spend the capital (political, social, literal) or otherwise to actually make meaningful changes or progress.
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Feb 7, 2016 22:27
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Webster/Granger '36!
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Feb 7, 2016 22:43
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Possible choices for me: WHH, who drank the AntiMasonic koolaid even in our timeline and also had no objectionable policies as President, which is tough to manage. He's a bit flimsy on slavery, but he'll probably be a worthy successor to His Elective Majesty, President Wirt. Webster has been covered, but would be likely to have more problematic policies than historical-WHH and may have been coopted by the Freemasons.
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Feb 7, 2016 23:41
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I can't believe the Anti-Masons actually won. I'm so glad.
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Feb 8, 2016 01:24
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Honestly given the Anti-MAsonic coup last election how can we not vote for William Henry Harrison? He is the only candidate to firmly commit himself to be wholeheartedly against freemasonry.
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Feb 8, 2016 02:10
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Carrasco posted:I can't believe the Anti-Masons actually won. I'm so glad. it was a huge landslide. might even have more retroactive forum support than the federalists
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Feb 8, 2016 03:04
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Carrasco posted:I can't believe the Anti-Masons actually won. I'm so glad. Well, I mean, the alternatives were Andrew Jackson, Murderous Masonic Monster and defender of the common man, Henry Clay, generally competent statesman who is entirely too pro-slavery, and John Floyd, States Rights Anti-Federalist. William Wirt, the (only) reasonable man from the Anti-Masonic Party, was almost a slam dunk if we didn't have some eloquent Clay lobbyists. Which we didn't. -- Unfortunately, Wirt dies in 1834, so we'd have his raving madman Vice President in charge for two years finally getting his chance to purge anyone accused of Freemasonry, suspected of Freemasonry, or who he otherwise doesn't like.
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Feb 8, 2016 03:39
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GreyjoyBastard posted:Unfortunately, Wirt dies in 1834, so we'd have his raving madman Vice President in charge for two years finally getting his chance to purge anyone accused of Freemasonry, suspected of Freemasonry, or who he otherwise doesn't like. His election fills him with vigour, and he lives longer.
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Feb 8, 2016 03:46
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Maybe our new rule should be to vote for whoever would have died in office the soonest.
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Feb 8, 2016 03:52
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I don't know. His Elective Majesty Amos Ellmaker devolving into a paranoid and bloody tyrant in his quest to destroy Freemasonry has some narrative appeal, and it would explain the Anti-Mason Party's disappearance from future elections. It also gives John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson to become unlikely allies. This blockbuster is coming soon to a theatre near you. QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 03:59 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 03:54
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Heck, how do we know Wirt died of natural causes? A former Freemason dies in office, to be succeeded by an obsessive antiMasonic lunatic? How convenient.  I particularly like the sequence where a heavily armed Andrew Jackson infiltrates the White House to uncover evidence against Ellmaker and his co-conspirators.
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Feb 8, 2016 04:10
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GreyjoyBastard posted:a heavily armed Andrew Jackson Ah, but you repeat yourself.
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Feb 8, 2016 04:17
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Voted for William Henry Harrison. I figure he deserves a shot at a full term.
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Feb 8, 2016 04:20
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Platystemon posted:vigour Royalist spy spotted.
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Feb 8, 2016 04:27
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Pakled posted:Royalist spy spotted. Time traveller spotted. Spelling reform in America has started, but it will not be till 1846 that “vigor” overtakes “vigour”. Something to look forward to: 
Platystemon has issued a correction as of 04:38 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 04:34
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I love this thread.
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Feb 8, 2016 05:23
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Just as the Monroe Doctrine states that South America is the Union's backyard, the Johnson Doctrine states that the hollow core of the Earth is the USA's basement. We shall explore this planet's virgin cavity, colonize it, and protect it from the multitude of menaces in the Old World. It is the divine Creator's will and our sacred duty as His chosen, enlightened few.
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Feb 8, 2016 06:48
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GlyphGryph posted:I love this thread.
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Feb 8, 2016 06:51
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John Dough posted:Voting for Van Buren, the first DJ president. Don't blame me, I voted for Ferry Corsten.
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Feb 8, 2016 07:17
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just rust posted:Just as the Monroe Doctrine states that South America is the Union's backyard, the Johnson Doctrine states that the hollow core of the Earth is the USA's basement. We shall explore this planet's virgin cavity, colonize it, and protect it from the multitude of menaces in the Old World. It is the divine Creator's will and our sacred duty as His chosen, enlightened few. I completely skipped that sentence in the summary.  Uh, well, hm. Are you completely certain that Johnson, noted Jacksonian agent, would not allow the Freemasons to dominate Inner Terra? Certainly, we need to launch an expedition, but now is not the time, and Johnson is not the leader we need. William Henry Harrison will lay the groundwork we need to ensure that true Americans are the heirs to the fecundity of the lower caverns.
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Feb 8, 2016 07:27
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The year is 1836. Presidential candidate Richard Johnson is convinced that the earth is hollow. He secretly begins to perform experiments to see if there might be some caverns under the surface to hide Freemason groups, who are currently being persecuted by President Ellmaker. To his delight, he discovers that his theory is correct, but that delight soon turns to horror as he realizes that the center of the earth contains prehistoric twelve-foot Freemasons--cavemen brothers whose only interest is taking over the world! As the giant Freemasons terrorize the country, Johnson and Ellmaker must team up together with the only man they know can beat the prehistoric horror. Andrew Jackson: *cocks musket* This meeting has been called to order! Coming soon to a bookstore near you.
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Feb 8, 2016 15:40
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lambeth posted:The year is 1836. Presidential candidate Richard Johnson is convinced that the earth is hollow. He secretly begins to perform experiments to see if there might be some caverns under the surface to hide Freemason groups, who are currently being persecuted by President Ellmaker. To his delight, he discovers that his theory is correct, but that delight soon turns to horror as he realizes that the center of the earth contains prehistoric twelve-foot Freemasons--cavemen brothers whose only interest is taking over the world! As the giant Freemasons terrorize the country, Johnson and Ellmaker must team up together with the only man they know can beat the prehistoric horror. This summer's most explosively popular anime Attack on Mason.
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Feb 8, 2016 16:26
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Popero posted:Three cheers for Webster, New England's native son! He only actually ran in New England. Harrison ran in all other New England states.
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Feb 8, 2016 19:49
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whigs are stupid. voting harrison and hoping he pnumonias himself to death early.
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Feb 9, 2016 01:06
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