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Who do you think has paid off more women to keep quiet after awkward sexual encounters, Peyton or Papa John Schatter
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Feb 13, 2016 23:35
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AsInHowe posted:his tainted UT career. I see what you did there.
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Feb 13, 2016 23:37
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Toilet Mouth posted:Mods please rename me either oval office Bumper or Toilet Mouth. zen death robot is the MVP 
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Feb 13, 2016 23:53
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Grittybeard posted:Split end is X and Flanker is the Z if that helps any. Split end is actually the end on his side of the field, as in lined up on the LoS, which is where the term comes from. it does thanks. i've just never heard those terms before. I have alshon Jeffery and Deandre hopkins, unfortunately it's as hard to draft a QB in this game as in Real life.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:07
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PrinceRandom posted:it does thanks. i've just never heard those terms before. Am I the one who's going to have to say it? Draft The Weed Man.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:09
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Hijo Del Helmsley posted:Am I the one who's going to have to say it? Draft The Weed Man. this game has a joke about that, where players are suspended for violating the leagues strict anti tobacco policies.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:12
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Magicpants posted:Yeah think about it. If there was no football, Peyton would be like a chemist somewhere in the midwest. His wife would let him have passionless sex with her like once a month. He'd probably have a mustache. Years pass as he grows more and more numb until one day he hands his coworker the wrong solvent and watches unflinchingly as the reaction goes horribly wrong and his coworker writhes around on the floor in agony. It is the first time he has felt alive since high school he realizes. A new passion awakens. Someone post the Matt Ryan fanfiction
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Feb 14, 2016 00:15
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DOOP posted:Someone post the Matt Ryan fanfiction http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Matt_Ryan I know this is a couple pages old, but drat Matt Ryan looks like a pretty successful businessman who is rapidly closing in on 40. He competes in triathlons in his spare time and he has come to the realization that he never really loved his wife. He goes on long runs early on Saturday mornings, and the last several weeks he's been arriving at the river trail a few minutes later than normal so that he spends part of his run staring at the rear end of the 20-something grad-student who he has started to chat up. Maybe this weekend he'll invite her to get some coffee after their run. He's fantasizes about the impending divorce. He doesn't hate his wife; he plans on making sure that she is comfortable and well taken care of, and he'd prefer to not have a contentious split since he knows that would be harder on his daughter. He tells himself that he wants to make sure he is still a part of his daughter's life, but he hasn't really ever been that involved with her and deep down he knows their relationship will devolve into the odd phone call and birthday card. If he could pinpoint where it all started to go wrong it would probably be after his wife had her third miscarriage. He had always wanted a big family, but at that point it was just too much for her and they stopped trying. He thinks that if they had more kids they could have made it work, but he's still not quite 40 and it isn't too late to start over. He wonders if the grad-student wants a big family... You guys can't tell me that when you look into that picture of Matt Ryan you don't see a man who grew up in the shadow of an older brother. Jerry was the better athlete, Jerry had all the girlfriends, Jerry was the charmer who could roll around in pig poo poo, flash that million dollar smile, and come out smelling like roses. That’s not to say Matt wasn’t a decent athlete or didn’t have any girlfriends, but Jerry was the star player on the high school football team (although “star” is a relative term on a team that won 6 games in 2 years) and Jerry’s wife (then girlfriend) was the prom queen, and how exactly was Matt supposed to compete with that? Matt would say he had the last laugh now that Jerry is a balding, over-weight claims adjuster living in Overland Park Kansas, but Jerry and Cynthia found Jesus and have five kids and Matt is preparing to divorce his wife whom he hasn’t seen naked in over a year so it’s difficult to feel superior. Matt stopped being bitter at Jerry a long time ago anyways. Once they grew up and stopped competing with each other at everything Matt realized that his brother is just like everyone else, trying to do his best and get by day to day. Matt sometimes lies awake at night wondering if his financial success, which he considers moderate but which any sane person would consider substantial, has really bought him anything but heartburn and a failed marriage, but it’s the sort of crisis that doesn’t lead to any meaningful change and is forgotten by the time the alarm goes off and it’s time to hit the river trail. It’s a cold morning and Matt hopes the grad-student doesn’t decide to hit the snooze button. And what it looks like is a man who has been calling his lawyer’s office for the past week and a half and hanging up as soon as the receptionist answers because he feels guilty for beginning this process and blindsiding his wife with divorce papers. But it isn’t really blindsiding is it? Shannon has to know this is coming. She has to. She knows what has been going on for the past five years, or, more to the point, what has not been going on. Hell, she’s probably been seeing someone else behind his back. Who the gently caress knows what goes on all day when he’s at the office? But then again, this is a woman who spends forty-five minutes in the bathroom at a time and he can hear the sobbing through the door on occasion when she forgets to run the sink to drown it out. She still isn’t well and probably never will be, and if he were to serve her and she were to hurt herself he’s not sure he could forgive himself, not to mention the damage that would do to their daughter. So he continues to put it off, and most nights when he gets home from work he parks his Lexus in the driveway and rehearses what he’s going to say when he walks through the door. “Shannon, we both know this isn’t working. It’s not good for either of us to go on this way.” But what if she wants to work things out? He’s well past wanting to try and make it work, but what if she wants to? Could he actually say no to counseling? Wouldn’t that make him a bad person? And as soon as he’s ready to finally say it, he walks in the door and into the bedroom and the master bathroom door is closed and he can hear the sink running. So he changes into his running clothes and heads out to the river trail. Matt looks like he feels pretty empty inside, sort of like a man who just had a two hour argument with his wife because she felt “Way too loving fat” to go to dinner at the club with the Applebaums. But he’s tired of making excuses for her, “Oh sorry, Shannon is a bit under the weather,” “Oh sorry, our baby sitter canceled at the last minute,” “Oh sorry, Shannon is feeling way too loving fat to come tonight.” So he begs and pleads and she slams the bathroom door so hard the windows shake. They ride to the club in total silence. He reaches for the radio, but she shifts in her seat and groans so he retracts his hand and curses to himself internally. At the club it’s all handshakes and smiles, though she does manage a subtle glare at him when he orders a double Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. Janice Applebaum asks if she’d like to share a bottle of wine, and she says “No thank you, I think one of us should remain sober.” Other than that little dig things go smoothly enough, but before they’ve ordered dessert she excuses herself and doesn’t return for twenty or so minutes. She claims to have run into Emilia Parker in the ladies restroom and she just couldn’t get away any sooner, but he notices the hastily reapplied lipstick and he’s sure the Applebaum’s do as well. On the way home he catches a brief whiff of sour breath from her and he almost says something, but before he can she asks if he wouldn’t mind sleeping on the couch tonight because he always wakes her up when he leaves early to head out for a run. As they walk through the door she heads straight into the master bath and shuts the door.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:18
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Chichevache posted:I wonder how Archie feels about Super Bowl 50. Is he still proud even though a bunch of black men had to help his son finish? Isnt this exactly what they accused Naughright of
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Feb 14, 2016 00:20
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Spoeank posted:Isnt this exactly what they accused Naughright of That's the joke.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:24
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I don't know how well liked Jezebel is around here but I really want them to run hard with the Peypey rubbing his naenae story. I'd have to hear "Hurr durr SJWs at it again. Is there nothing sacred?" from shitkicking gutter hicks on my facebook page for a week but it would be so worth it to hurt his brand. gently caress Peyton Manning.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:39
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I do really hope this story gets big enough that Peyton has to address it somehow because I'm curious how he'll play it if he goes after her it might get people to look into him more
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Feb 14, 2016 00:42
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My reaction to this news.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:44
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AsInHowe posted:My reaction to this news. 
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Feb 14, 2016 00:46
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Febreeze posted:I do really hope this story gets big enough that Peyton has to address it somehow because I'm curious how he'll play it ESPN will never touch it unless it gets huge because they don't want to risk pissing off their biggest demographic of 30-60 year old white guys with money who think their country is being taken from them. AsInHowe posted:My reaction to this news. Owns. Tom Brady loving owns. Chromatic fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Feb 14, 2016 |
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Feb 14, 2016 00:48
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AsInHowe posted:My reaction to this news. So you reaction is to boo this sucker QB alongside the whole stadium? Same
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Feb 14, 2016 00:51
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AsInHowe posted:That's the joke. See I wasn't sure if it was that or an Archie Manning is southern/racist joke
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Feb 14, 2016 00:51
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Why does it autocensor  whenever I type his name? is a good football player.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:52
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Chromatic posted:Why does it autocensor Because Tom Brady is a cheater Tom Brady Tom Brady Tom Brady Can we up a word filter to make it Tainton Manning
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Feb 14, 2016 00:54
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Could have been six, Tom. But you got dunked on twice by a guy who can't even get his face muscles to work in unison.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:54
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Chromatic posted:Why does it autocensor Corrected
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Feb 14, 2016 00:54
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Tom Brady is great, and somehow this breaking is only the second best news of the day. Have fun y'all, gonna try to party til I die like a Liverpool fan when Thatcher shat it.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:55
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Kalli posted:Tom Brady is great, and somehow this breaking is only the second best news of the day. You celebrating Scalia too?
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Feb 14, 2016 00:57
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 Maybe it is picking up steam.
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Feb 14, 2016 00:58
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this was a comment on a friend's wall who posted the manning article lol
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Feb 14, 2016 00:59
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AsInHowe posted:You celebrating Scalia too? As every good American should.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:00
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Chromatic posted:
Waiting on pins and needles for Peyton's reputation to end like this 
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Feb 14, 2016 01:00
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AsInHowe posted:Waiting on pins and needles for Peyton's reputation to end like this I get the feeling Dungy's reputation outside of places like here is doing just fine.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:08
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I hope that Tom Brady's health and sports medicine company, TB12, makes a big deal out of hiring Dr. Jamie Naughright as a new partner.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:10
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I hope that Tom Brady signs on as a spokesman for Soylent
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Feb 14, 2016 01:14
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AsInHowe posted:I hope that Tom Brady's health and sports medicine company, TB12, makes a big deal out of hiring Dr. Jamie Naughright as a new partner. That is so cute using bb code to circumvent the word filter.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:15
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Tom Brady was the good guy all along.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:16
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ChickenMedium posted:I love that even though they both now have two SB rings, Eli defeated the greatest team of this century twice, and Peyton beat one of the worst teams to ever make a Super Bowl for his first one and wasn't even a factor in the second. Also, Eli isn't a drug cheat or known sex criminal. Also stupid because he beat the Pats in the AFC Championship both times.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:16
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Kalli posted:Tom Brady is great, and somehow this breaking is only the second best news of the day. The hat trick will be Goodell's Bangkok vacation photos.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:16
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Can a mod change my name to Jort Shartles
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Feb 14, 2016 01:17
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Peyton keeps skeletons in his closet on purpose just in case he needs a new spine
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Feb 14, 2016 01:19
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Peyton going to play another season now just to change the story from this to "Old Man QB still loving sucks for the LA Rams"
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Feb 14, 2016 01:20
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AsInHowe posted:Waiting on pins and needles for Peyton's reputation to end like this Goldy Knows (Bitch)
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Feb 14, 2016 01:20
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In other news, Scalia is dead. This is one case where I'm not too worried over being happy about the death of another person
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Feb 14, 2016 01:21
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sweet thursday posted:In other news, Scalia is dead. This is one case where I'm not too worried over being happy about the death of another person I hope the last thing he read was the Manning story.
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Feb 14, 2016 01:22
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