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Ambi posted:Other variations proposed by the table were a piece of cheese on a string at the end of the cannon, so the rat runs out of it towards the cheese at supersonic speeds and launches itself that way. Make this, but replace the rats with hedgehogs. Here's the sound of it firing.
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Feb 18, 2016 08:48
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Golden Bee posted:Monster of the Week (2E) has some amazing playbooks. It's a very different game to play with two instead of three or four. Our group has +0 in charisma (+2 if we strongarm someone), with plenty of magical aptitude. So our three methods of solving mysteries are crime scene analysis, shakedowns, and mentally inhabiting the monsters to lure them to our location. Last week, our adventures brought us to Russia in 1915, where we managed to stop the villain (an old cult Satanist who took on the powers and evil of Beezlebub) only moments before the Revolution started. It says something that our way of dealing with his followers was "burn them out of the infectious disease fort, and shoot anyone who comes onto the beach." We said our tearful goodbyes to our corrupted friend, evacuated our factory owner friend, and another national collapse.
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Feb 18, 2016 18:05
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A friend just reminded me I was supposed to have posted a bunch of stuff to this thread like a year ago. Whoops.  Namely, the rest of the only succesful 3.5 Evil PC game I've ever run: quote:Highlights of the game include Why the Skeleton lost his Scythe, Cocaine Chicken Nuggets, Freebasing an Angel, Port Cities Made Easy, Just Slap More Leather Pants on It, The Fortress Molly, gently caress You Druids, Destroying The Fiat Currency of Justice, That Wasn't What the Cows were For, and What's in the Box Should have something tonight. Cuchulain fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Feb 19, 2016 |
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Feb 18, 2016 23:56
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The box! The box!
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Feb 19, 2016 00:13
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giVzxyoclE
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Feb 19, 2016 00:16
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Skellybones posted:The box! The box! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsNIFD7TxwU
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Feb 19, 2016 01:30
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https://youtu.be/XVMLivHTXac?t=112
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Feb 19, 2016 01:37
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https://youtu.be/KezvwARhBIc?t=55
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Feb 19, 2016 01:49
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The Box is the very last bit in the game, next up is one I forgot: Building Dave. So when last we left our vicious and vile villains, they had, though an almost complete abandonment of overt violence and embracing credit scams, taken over the small town of Stonecreek. With the town's Priest and Militia Captain dead, and a vast majority of the people converted to the Cult, the party decided on the most logical next step: Building a giant castle. The next few sessions of the game became SimCult. They kept the town operating for trade openly, even sending out caravans of goods, religious pilgrims, and Death and Partying Cultist tracts. They funneled money into building materials and cultist labor(they offered dental). The Blue Goblin was tasked with building a castle headquarters, walls for the For in-game months and actual weeks, my players were doting over their strange, evil SimCult game. I've never seen players so invested in a game. Bluff checks kept concerned Druids away from the city. Evil fog coming from our construction site? No no, that's just natural gas being vented from our newly formed hotsprings. All Northern Druid approved, I assure you, we have the paperwork right here. The Cowardly Rogue worked up a spy network, the Ninja practiced her cooking, the Barbarians and the Fighter ran a fightclub. The Drow priestess complained about wanting a tunnel to the Underdark. The Pirate Bard traveled with the Rogue, talking up the wonders of their new city. Illrisar and Xenos lead the cult, running recruitment through the others. Everyone had lots of ideas about the Castle, but everyone was too busy to oversee construction, leaving the insane, Blue Goblin DMPC to build it. I decided to just go with every suggestion, including the poorly phrased conflicting ones. They had lots of opinions on what the Castle should look like. Everyone agreed it needed a big skull motif, but there was confusion about if it was going to be on the door or the roof. Giant green flames were requested. Flames in the skull's eyes? Or skull eyes for windows. A spooky wizard's tower. A windowless, arcane tower with like a big orb of demonic energy on top. A little sanctum on the side of the wizard's tower. Floating skulls. A bigass great-hall with a skull themed stain glass window. Huge. Huger then huge. When they saw it for the first time, Illrisar named it. Castle Dave was born.  The most impressive thing was that the Goblin kept the whole thing covered by a sheet till it was finished. Cuchulain fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Feb 20, 2016 |
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Feb 19, 2016 08:06
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It looks just like a Wily Fortress. 
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Feb 19, 2016 08:16
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Wily was one of the big talking points. Castle Greyskull came up, even though Xenos's player Virgil harped on that being a good skull fortress. Soon, expansions would begin, a giant workshop for Illrisar, tunnels under the castle, chain restaurants run by a legion of ninja trainees, and a huge shipyard built by order of the Pirate. They were 250 miles inland.
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Feb 19, 2016 08:20
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Cuchulain posted:
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Feb 19, 2016 08:30
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Cuchulain posted:Castle Dave was born.
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Feb 20, 2016 13:49
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The welcome mat really ties it together.
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Feb 20, 2016 16:55
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Cuchulain posted:Castle Dave was born. Too beautiful...no words...should have rolled a poet.
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Feb 21, 2016 08:05
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Golden Bee posted:More Masks: Tales of the Super Teens. Outsider Una checked in with her Atlantean handler; after all her duplicity (w/r/t stealing supervillain artifacts), they wanted to bring her back and give her a Hero of the People award. Una tried to get her handler off the phone; she was making silly Snaps for the kids she babysat. *** Curious about their teammate Panther's actual first name, Una, Chip and Emet decided to call her supervillain mother. While they found it out ("Leave my Josefina alone!"), mom immediately called Panther. Panther stormed back from her girlfriend's and, after a non-apology, tried to beat up Chip. Una tried to intimidate her with threats of Atlantean justice and, failing, got coldcocked. Emet, the team's mud monster and moral center, calmed Panther down (enough for her to storm away instead of kicking everyone off the lease). As she was about to leave, she was approached by a strange woman who hired us to investigate the fitbits, the club Bubbles, and basically all the spare plot threads. [Like I said, the crime fighting bit took a backseat!] *** After some investigation, it turned out the person who hired us was in cahoots with our long time rival Octavia Spencer! Our team confronted them in a warehouse (with Una and Panther kind of making up)... Then Panther unleashed her Moment of Truth. Mechanics spoiler: (This is a levelup move in Masks that, when you take it, allows you to declare it as true.) Panther's Moment of Truth posted:This is what you do best. You let loose, all the pent up strength and rage and glee, and you break. poo poo. down. You are a walking demolition crew. What can stand up to you? Nothing. Not buildings. Not structures. Not enemies. Nothing. So our rage filled battle-maniac tore across the lair, defeating the final fight of the campaign without a roll. She grabbed both the villain by the throat and had them arrested within the hour. A little digging by the rest of the team revealed she was the strange woman who'd hired us, the one who BUILT the giant robots that destroyed all the evidence of their teamwork, and was going to use the resulting terror and surveillance to run a mayoral campaign. *** After battle, the team decided to go out for burgers. Una, who'd been outed as an Atlantean, confessed she didn't know if she should stay with the Topsiders or return to her post. Everyone expressed how hosed up, lonely, and pumped being a hero made them feel. Una said she'd let them know what she decided. Panther offered to let Una punch her in the face. And Una rolled an 11. Una gave her a leaping cowboy punch that sent her teammate to the ground, starry-eyed. As they hugged it out, Una realized something: pissing her teammate off was the most important thing in her life. Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Feb 21, 2016 |
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Feb 21, 2016 20:46
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PBS Newshour posted:Ran a one shot of Monster of the Week last night, it went pretty well I think. OK, so this has kinda a convoluted backstory but hang in here with me.
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Feb 22, 2016 02:15
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I’ve been playing in a 5th ed D&D campaign for the past few months with a homebrewed setting. The Dungeon Master (who in the interest of full disclosure is my wife’s ex-husband) has been running D&D campaigns in this setting for over TWENTY years, going all the way back to when he was in college. Aside from having a well-thought out history and pantheon, the coolest thing about this setting is that the actions of the players have become part of the history, so whatever they do during the campaign ends up affecting the larger world. This includes making sure a wedding goes through so that two nations form a powerful empire, funding an insurgency that overthrows a corrupt regime AFTER that campaign has ended, and one PC becoming a “Paul Bunyan tall tales” type among the world’s Illusionists. He also updates the world according to any new classes/races that are added/subtracted per the new official editions. In this campaign, there’s two main plots. One, a Archdevil named Kaos once tried to take over the world but got locked away by the gods (with an assist from the then-players) in a cask with twelve keys scattered around the world. Over time, the cask has become just brittle enough that Kaos can speak through a crack and has started to gather an army of demons, elementals, and dragons to take over the world, with a two-thousand year old elf (who, in elven fashion, holds a major grudge against her own kind) overseeing the earthly aspects of the plan. Two, there once was a demigod named Az who assisted an god who had been kicked out of their own pantheon on another plane and decided to take over this one. The god was defeated and Az was thrown into darkness, his name wiped from all texts and tomes and forgotten by the mortals. He had been forgotten for over 2000 years, so when “The Cult of the Burning Eye” showed up 100 years ago and started talking about how “all gods are just an aspect of the One True God” a few people started to worship that god, who eventually revealed his name to be Az. And because he’s slowly gaining power again, all the tomes and texts that once had his name written inside are reverting to their “original” form. So there’s now a whole bunch of ancient scrolls and tomes out there that are suddenly showing this “new” demigod and are throwing the organized religions for a loop. At the moment, there’s a conclave forming of all the major religious groups and organizations to determine if this “forgotten” god should become an official member of the world’s pantheon. This has the gods themselves worried because of an ancient prophecy that stated “when the Eye turns upon the gods, the gods themselves will fall.” So in response, the gods have begun giving their power directly to a few select Clerics and Paladins, as well as any other “worthy” mortals, so if they do fall their divinity can live on and perhaps allow them to “reform” somewhere down the line. The players (all who have over 10+ years of role-playing experience save one) Fallinrae – Elven Paladin, Knight of the Swan, sworn to Dynae, the Storm Queen, goddess of light, beasts, weather, agriculture, and fertility. Strict, honorable, loyal, has a unicorn for a steed. Tellisyn – Elven Fighter/Eldritch Knight who has made contact with the Faewild and is slowly becoming a Fighter/Warlock. Her grandmother is the two-thousand year old elf who is working for Kaos. Out of her entire family tree she is the only one who is Good and is bloodsworn to stop her grandmother. So far we’ve slain two of her cousins and gathered one of the Kaos keys for safekeeping. Feels like she's not living up to the challenge. Aiena – Greensidhe (Halfling) Cleric who had the blood of Siyri, the Blessed Lady, goddess of healing and mercy, in her veins. Happy. Chipper. Bouncy. Think Tasslehoff Burrfoot on a two-week cocaine binge. She’s communed directly with Siyri several times, but she’s a crisis of faith as it turned out that one of the angels of Siyri she had talked to was really a daeva pledged to Az. Ksena – Human Monk of the Order of Emanyn, the Wave Master, god of water. She had been cloistered her entire life in a monastery, so it was her who realized that a book she had been studying for months was now talking about this demigod Az who she had never heard of. She’s travelling with the party to find more books to back up her claim about Az coming back and more importantly track down the author of these books, a seemingly immortal bard. Seeing the world for the first time and is a mix of intrigued and confused. Has been “chosen, but not yet called” by an secret order of all-female Monks of Emanyn. Skeever – Lizardman Barbarian/Bard who is pledged to Halaal, Draconic Goddess of Trickery, Muses, and Humor. Skeever was once a gnome. Then he died. And Halaal chose him to be reincarnated as her champion upon the world, only for the Trickster God Cymber to cause him to come back as a Lizardman instead of a gnome. To make up for this change, Halaal gave him a book that allows him to talk to her directly as well as scribe the deeds of his party so, if they’re worthy enough, their legend can endure throughout the ages of the world. Is slowly turning from a Lizardman to a Copper Dragonborn, and thinks his new acid breath is nothing more than indigestion. So all five of them have been touched by the gods in some manner. Then there’s… Cullus – Halfling Rogue. Dungeon Delver. VERY interested in how the gold is divvied up. Sends a large portion of his gold somewhere anytime the party is in a major town with a delivery service. Makes no bones that he’s not a nice guy, even though he IS a nice guy. Has the best reason to stay with our group. “I’m not here for the gods or to save the world. I’m only here because you guys keep stumbling into more money than I’ve ever seen in my life!” Varis Stormglass – my character. Halfsidhe (half-elf) Draconic (bronze) Sorcerer. Son of a elven noblewoman and a knight from the Lawful Evil empire of Korvis. Orphaned when the father was killed for “siring a racially impure bastard” and the mother died three years later of stomach cancer. Raised by his father’s sister on the edge of a small farming town, dabbled more in alchemy and folk medicine than his sorcery. Killed a Banshee who was threatening his town through sheer luck and became a local Folk Hero. Ended up travelling with the party due to the standard “had a dream to be at this location on this day” cliché. Only 19 years old, incredibly unsure and nervous outside of combat, incredibly confident and heroic in combat when he’s slinging magic around. Nicknamed “The Lightning Lord” by Skeever (and picked up by the rest of the party) because of all the “great deeds” Varis does and because is embarrasses the HELL out of Varis. Said “great deeds” have seen him nicknamed “The Slayer of Gorgons,” “The Tamer of Cyclops,” “Banisher of the Behir,” “Daeva’s Bane,” and “Dances with Devils.” Is not bound to any one god (acknowledges the gods exist but doesn't really worship any of them) but has been “touched” by Riva, the Weaver of Fate, god of fortune and destiny, to perform one great and world-changing event in his lifetime. X X X X X So last session, our party is traveling through a Lawful Good theocracy on the way to the capital city of Caern Kell. The other religious groups and organizations are having a secret conclave about Az, but the theocracy told them “you’re all idiots” and is preparing for the upcoming holy war. We’re looking to get the location and invitation from the Priest King so we can crash the conclave and convince everyone just how evil and horrible Az is. We stop in the port town of Galesport for the evening, and by virtue of being an adventuring party the locals fawn all over us. It’s a nice roleplaying moment – Varis does some prestidigitation cantrips for the crowd, Skeever deals with a group of children who are following him and trying not to be seen – and we settle in for the night. Then the bells ring. “PIRATES!” Ok, we’re thinking this is going to be a nice distraction, an easy fight to keep us on our toes heading towards Caern Kell. The GM puts down the dock tiles, puts the plastic overlay on it, and sets out six pirates figures – four brutes, one first mate (with fringed shoulders) and one captain (with cape and hat). The great thing about this GM is he’s got a figure for EVERYTHING. His rule is “I will only throw it against you IF I have a figure for it.” So he’s got a nice mix of old and new school D&D figures, along with some Pathfinder and Reaper models and a few from other games like “Warhammer Fantasy.” The fight begins, the first mate blow a horn to summon a water elemental, we say “ok, this is going to be a bit harder than we thought, but still no sweat.” Then the captain, on her turn, yells “CANNON!” We’re thinking this means the ship is going to run out the cannons – which is weird because the ship is actually at dockside and has nothing to shoot at. Until, like a Transformer, THIS raises off the deck.   Yep. A Cannon Golem. It came with the Pathfinder Pirate Pack and the GM decided “there’s no way I CAN’T throw this at my players.” So he stats it up, and on its first turn it fires a cannonball at the bunched up melee. On impact, it hits the target for 3d6 and blows everyone within a square 2 squares away on a failed Dex save and pushes them back 1 square on a Dex save. Well, it knocks everyone down and sends the unicorn into the water, and meanwhile the thing’s “arm” is an auto-reloading mechanism that instantly loads a new cannonball for next round. The Rogue and I look at each other…and he leaps onto the ship while I Misty Step into the hold. The rest of the party is dealing with the pirates and the water elemental, but the water elemental casts Spirt Guardians…which ends up taking out more of the pirates than the party since the party kept getting knocked down because of the drat animals. Cullus dodges a swipe from the Golem’s blade and gets nicked by the other one (he did the “take half damage” Rogue thing) before climbing the Cannon Golem’s arm and using a piton to JAM the Golem’s reloading mechanism. He spends the next three rounds dodging the HELL out of the Golem to keep its attention while in the hold, using a mix of my 10 STR Sorcerer, Mage Hand, and some very creative use of Misty Step, I manage to get a metal plate (probably used to fix/repair the Golem) on the hold’s floor right underneath the Golem. With six barrels of gunpowder on the plate. Cue “FIRE IN THE HOLE!” Cue Cullus LEAPING off the side of the boat (where the unicorn, who was still in the shallow water, manages to catch him). Cue my character using a Wand of Witchfire to set off the trail of gunpowder leading to the barrels before diving off the boat... The metal plate directed a good chunk of the explosion straight up, though the rest of the explosion kind of maybe blew out the side of the hold. The Golem FLIES into the air…and crashes back down to the deck. And through the deck. And through the hold floor. And the hull. The good news is, the ship sank and pinned the Golem underneath it and without the Captain once we took her out, it went inert. The bad news is I missed my chance to become Captain Varis Stormglass of the sloop “Lightning Lord,” but it did get “Sinker of Sloops” added to my titles. The monk just patted me on the shoulder and said Emanyn appreciated the offering. X X X X X Now, Skeever has always been a mix of Barbarian and Bard, but with the threat of Az on the horizon he decided that one of the best ways to fight the demigod was to spread the “non-gospel of Az” about he’s an evil jerk. This means becoming an actual bard, complete with musical instrument and song singing ability. There’s just one problem – he’s physically incapable of playing a musical instrument. He doesn’t have the lips for a wind instrument (not even a kazoo, he tried) and his claws keep breaking the strings on lutes and harps. And drums? Just give him a headache. So he’s trying to figure out a way to perform without a musical instrument…and he comes up with a brilliant idea. Puppets. Yes, puppets, ala Banjo from The Order of the Stick. He’s got the Az puppet on one hand, the peasant puppet on the other hand. We’re walking south through the grasslands towards Caern Kell and he pulls me aside. “Varis, check this out!” Az – “I’m the All Seeing Eye and I’m all powerful. Make me a god!” Peasant – “No, you’re not a god! You’re nothing!” Az – “I am a god! No one can stand before me!” Peasant – “I know who can!” And here comes the tail. And a puppet on the end of his tail. A puppet that looks a LOT like my character. Varis – “I’m the Lightning Lord and I say you’re nothing!” A little prestidigitation and lightning shoots from the tail to the Az puppet. Az – “Ah! I can’t defeat the Lightning Lord! And…scene!” Varis (real) – “Oh, no, Skeever. No, no, no, no, no, no.” Skeever – “Why not?” Varis – “I’m not…I’m not going around shooting gods with lightning! This event never happened!” Skeever – “When the legend beats the fact, puppet the legend.” Varis – “There wasn’t any legend! Or fact! This is…I never approved you to use my likeness! drat it, Skeever! I am not a fan of this!” Skeever – “Why not? You don't like the show? Give me an honest critique." Varis - "Ok, fine. For one, the plot is farfetched!" Skeever - "Who cares? You’re defeating a wannabe god! The people will love it!” Varis – “I don’t want his attention on me! A god named ‘The All-Seeing Eye’ hears that there’s some 19 year old Sorcerer saying he’s blasting him with lightning and what do you think is going to happen?” And now the Paladin speaks up. Fallinrae – “You know, what if you said Varis was a demigod himself?” Varis – “I AM NOT A DEMIGOD!” Fallinrae – “Not yet. Skeever?” Skeever – “THAT’S A WONDERFUL IDEA! I’m going to make sure that you become a demigod Varis! The god of lightning!” Varis – “I…” Skeever (with his book out, writing) – “Dear Halaal, today Varis agreed to work towards becoming a demigod.” Varis – “For the record, I am not comfortable with this.” Skeever – “Varis was modest in his decision.” Fortunately, a leather-clad Devil, four githyanki, and a young red dragon showed up before things got worse. CobiWann fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Apr 25, 2016 |
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Feb 22, 2016 18:33
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I am completely jealous and in absolute awe of what sounds like an excellent campaign.
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Feb 22, 2016 19:00
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New roleplaying achievement: Got eaten by a giant bio-mechanical monster while flying through the air with rocket boots.
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Feb 22, 2016 19:01
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CobiWann posted:Fallinrae – “You know, what if you said Varis was a demigod himself?”
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Feb 23, 2016 16:14
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Brief correction ahead of my update tonight: Illrisar's player corrected something I got wrong in the very first post I made about the Evil Campaign. I didn't take his Skeleton's scythe away after it killed the Priest at Stonecreek. I took the scythe away after it oneshot an additional 2 "boss" encounters, for a total of 3 in a row. Scythes in 3.5 are a hell of a drug. Freebasing an Angel So things for the Shadowsworn are progressing nicely at this point, but not exactly the way I had originally planned. Instead of a Hack & Slash adventure against progressively stronger good-guys, the party has transformed the city of Stonecreek into a well oiled machine of Evil. They began exerting control over the countryside, forging a trade agreement with the nearby dwarven fortress of Khaz'gol. Most of the party moved up to newer schemes, bartering their success for divinely granted rewards from the Three Shadows, at this point a bunch of items were created by or gifted to the players in rapid succession. The Purple Pirate had a whistle which could summon a 108lbs cannon. She had also grown to be nearly 9 feet tall at this point, her Storm Giant bloodline making her bigger and purpler every level. She had decided she was going to amass the world's greatest pirate horde, and began designing a new ship for herself. The Ninja Chef had decided to combine seven forbidden ninja herbs and spices, creating a taste sensation that was so good, it was blasphemous. She opened a fried chicken place. All the cultists and travelling merchants loved it. The Goblin DMPC had been serving as the party's packmule, as I described him as a hoarder in his introduction. He had requested an unbreakable safe you could put things in, but never take them back out of from the Three Shadows. He would frequently crystallize or use the psychic power quintessence to time-stop bits of loot and chunks of enemies, and stuff them in The Box. Importantly, The Box was not infinitely large on the inside, just made of demonically reinforced adamantine with a magical, one way entrance. Illrisar the Necromancer had decided to do away with the forged Writs, now that they had become the "legitimate" rulers of Stonecreek. Instead, he announced that Gold, Silver, and Copper pieces no longer held any value within Stonecreek, and everyone must instead use his new currency: Illrisar Funbux.  He was adamant about the Finger Guns. Currency exchanges were set up within the City, Cultists got a monthly salary, and all trade caravans would carry and accept Funbux with them. Each member of the "Stonecreek City Council" got a picture on one. His Skeleton minion Mor'ladim was the 1bux bill. And Xenos the Hedonist Devil was cranking up his alchemy. He had taken liking to hard drugs at his parties. This would become an important swingpoint in the game's plot. While teaching several of his Cultist Elite how to summons demons, either through sabotage or incompotence, one of Xenos' students screwed up the ritual to summon a Fiendish Wolverine. Instead, on the top floor of Xenos' tower, they got an Astral Deva. After a split second of hesitation(after all, the material plane was practically good aligned at this point), the Deva recognized that these were bad guys, and all hell broke loose. After a long, bloody encounter, costing the Shadowsworn half of the Cultist Elite Sorcerers on payroll and severe damage to the Arcane Tower, the Deva had been subdued and her summoned backup defeated. I say subdued, because Xenos had halfway through the battle decided that they needed to capture the Angels alive instead of destroying them and sending them back to the Upper planes. This lead to quite a few extra casualties before they could jury-rig a binding circle. I figured he wanted to permenantly kill her for like, Devil Brownie points or something, but he had another, far more ridiculous plan in mind. As the party licked their wounds and assesed the damage done to Dave, Xenos asked for the Goblin DMPC. Yeah, Blue is currently on the roof of Dave, trying to figure out how to keep your tower from falling over. Forget that, I need him here right now.So the Goblin came before Xenos and the Deva. Blue tells you he'll have more ectoplasmic scaffolding up soon, the tower wont fall over, but everything in it is going to be a little slanted from now on.Neat, I need him to crystallize this angel first. I... Why? Because! O...k... Blue shrugs and focuses his psychic energy on the helpless Deva. Let's see if she saves against the power... Nope, you've got one Crystal Deva statue, radiating holy power.Great, I cast Shatter. And now your floor is covered in sparkly, glowing crystal angel bits. What was the point of I GRAB A FISTFULL AND SNORT IT I explain that while that hurts like hell, it doesn't actually get him high on magic or anything, as all he's done is get a facefull of Holy Energy jammed right into his Devil-Bloodline nose. Ok, I have the Cultists collect what's left of her, I'm going to borrow some of Illrisar's Alchemists and take this to his lab. We'll grind her up, distill her essence into a powder form, then, I dunno, smoke her or something. I'm behind this plan 100% *Finger guns*Several ridiculous rolls and a hefty amount of RP later, they had converted the Deva into a hardcore, Arcane-power boosting, highly addictive powder. Xenos snorted some, instantly mastered a new spell of his own design, and smoked some for a longer lasting effect. Oh yeah, I'm going to keep some of the powder on me at all times, incase I need a little extra juice. Oh! And I should get all my Sorcerers hooked on it. That sounds perfect!Sure, why not. Can I have some of the processed angel power? I want to add it to my spice blend.Sure, why not. There's a very limited supply th Anyway let's get the Arcane Tower fixed up so we can get a team of Sorcerers Planar Binding angels down here for a steady supply. Great, I assign a full half of my Alchemists to the refinery.SURE WHY THE gently caress NOT
Cuchulain fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Feb 25, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 08:06
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Cuchulain posted:Freebasing an Angel I love this story, and I love the Funbux.
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Feb 25, 2016 03:53
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Cuchulain posted:Freebasing an Angel Cherish these players, for they are some of the good ones.
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Feb 25, 2016 05:01
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Somehow the greatest thing about that plan is just how terribly, terribly awry it could eventually go. They've certainly nailed 'cartoonishly evil' with 'highly addictive drug made from distilled angelic beings', I think that's worth at least double points.
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Feb 25, 2016 06:21
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There are players who are evil for evil's sake and then there are players who are evil because "WHY THE gently caress NOT?" Funbux is the best thing ever.
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Feb 25, 2016 11:30
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The next few stories are all kinda long and I have work early, but hopefully I can get some of them done soon Cocaine Chicken Nuggets So another session goes by, the Fighter and Barbs taking the lead on some forgettable excursion out of Stonecreek to further their evil ends. They run into some Druids and Fae creatures who have been attacking caravans to Khaz'gol (nobody can remember the name of the Dwarven fortress, they just call it "the dwarf place") and kill them, scaring some info out of them in the process. The Druids are convinced the goods are tainted in some way and that Stonecreek has fallen under the sway of an evil cult. The Cowardly Rogue decides to move some spies to the Druid's forest under the guise of wanting to help liberate Stonecreek so they can have better intel. Xenos is riding a fine line between crippling addiction and overdose at this point, taking massive CON damage any time his drugs wear off and unwilling to stop. Illrisar has decided to start work on a new project to spite the druids, having his remaining non-drug producing Alchemists begin work on a virulent toxin. His tower is expanded to include a larger Alchemical lab at the top (because that's how buildings work, new stuff goes on top), the Arcane Tower has been re-secured to the side of Dave, and a massive shipyard has been built for the Purple Pirate. The Pirate has begun selecting crewmen for her new ship from the Cult and nearby towns, basing her selection on two criteria: Hunky Guys and Actual Pirate types. She has also gotten herself named the City/Party treasurer, with all the gold being kept in the hold of her massive, unfinished ship. She sits on it when she's in the City. It's only real use: Making Magic Items and casting Raise Dead. The Priestess of Lloth has demanded that, with the other construction complete, the Blue Goblin start tunneling into the Underdark. The Blue explains that this would take him months to do alone, and the other Shadowsworn aren't willing to have him stop building things for that long. But there is an entrance to the Underdark, sealed, beneath Khaz'gol(Dwarftown, whatever). Meanwhile, the Ninja Chef's new, 7 Forbidden Spice and Powdered Celestial Chicken recipe is causing some... changes. The people of Stonecreek are developing strange Arcane abilities, becoming aggressive, and willing to do anything for another bucket of chicken. Some are turning downright feral. The Guard is upgraded with Skeleton Cops by Illrisar. They can't be bribed with Chicken. The Cowardly Rogue forms a Secret Police to keep an eye on the non-Cultist townsfolk just in case. He also spends a bunch of money making a metric fuckton of amulets of Nystul's Obfuscating Aura + Disguise Undead. Slap the Skeletons in full-plate and give them an amulet and nobody can tell you they're not just clumsy riot cops. The population in Stonecreek was steadily increasing now, as merchants seeking wealth, cultist converts, and hapless Dwarves unknowingly addicted to Celestial Cocaine made their way to the city and petitioned for citizenship. Rejected applicants would sit in a shanty town outside the gate asking passerby if they had any more of that chicken? Which meant that pretty much every time the Shadowsworn left the gate they reenacted the Cheeseburgers scene from Menace 2 Society. The players had been working on something else in whispers, but I wasn't sure what. I had been dropping breadcrumbs about Khaz'gol(where? oh yeah Dwarftown) being target #2 since the first week of the game, I figured with their approach to the game at this point they were going to try to like, barter with the Dwarves to join them or something instead of just murdering them. At some point during all this, Xeno asked if it was possible to summon Infernal Chickens. I told him sure, just slap the fiendish template on a normal one. They were the mascot animal of the Goddess of Death after all, I figured he wanted to like, impress her or something. I was horribly wrong. Things are going well, but then the Shadowsworn get a visit from Three Shadows. Kitos, Goddess of Mayhem, Naurian, the Goddess of Death, and Kugen Eisenfaust, the Lord of Tyrants. The avatars interrupt a banquet/evil villain meeting. Naurian is displeased by the relatively low bodycount in the recent months, while Kitos is furious that their initial blitz had given way to slow, methodical conquest. Kugen was perfectly happy with how things were going, but warned that the continuous harvest of celestial beings from the upper planes was going to drawn divine attention eventually, and that they had to either stop making drugs or cause some kind of large distraction on the material plane to drawn attention away. Not continuing the insane plane of kidnapping angels to turn into Arcane Blow was clearly ridiculous so they opted to do something more drastic. They had The Rogue step up the Infiltration of Dwarftown(Khaz- whatever, it's Dwarftown now), and then moved on to Phase 2: Franchising I uh, what? You heard me, we're going to open a chain of my chicken joints. Easy access to hot, fresh, delicious, highly addictive fried chicken. And the restaurant only needs Three Cultists to run a location.What? How. We train a Necromancer how to make the Chicken in an easy, step-by-step process. He breaks this down has a skeleton do each task. We get a Sorcerer on Infernal Chicken Summoning duty. Cult Assassin acts as costumer relations and discreetly kills anyone who gets nosy. Slap an Amulet on each skeleton and they're undetectable. You.... I... what... you all...  YEP And I take it your first location will be in Kha DWARFTOWN So you're just going to get the Dwarves all hooked on drugs? I'll have my spies make some prime real-estate available.To be Continued in: The Fortress Molly Cuchulain fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Feb 26, 2016 |
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Feb 26, 2016 08:14
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Cherish your players, Cuchulain. Cherish them, for they will always churn out stories like these.
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Feb 26, 2016 08:37
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These stories are scratching an itch that hasn't been able to be dealt with since DivineCoffeeBinge's Star War stories.
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Feb 26, 2016 08:41
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berenzen posted:Cherish your players, Cuchulain. Cherish them, for they will always churn out stories like these. Sadly, most of us have long since gone our separate ways. 
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Feb 26, 2016 08:58
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Your players are insane and I love it.
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Feb 26, 2016 09:13
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So the Cult spread around the lands by getting people addicted to Infernal Fried Chickens sprinkled with Angel dust?
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Feb 26, 2016 11:31
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Please tell me they called it Kultist Fried Chicken.
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Feb 26, 2016 11:42
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Cuchulain posted:Sadly, most of us have long since gone our separate ways.
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Feb 26, 2016 15:31
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berenzen posted:Please tell me they called it Kultist Fried Chicken. I'm so sorry, we did not. The ninja's name started with a K so we went with that.
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Feb 26, 2016 18:43
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the_steve posted:These stories are scratching an itch that hasn't been able to be dealt with since DivineCoffeeBinge's Star War stories. D'awww, it's good to be remembered. (Star Wars is still on hiatus. We've been discussing starting something else up at some point, so we'll see...)
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Feb 27, 2016 01:37
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So my friend was testing his Dark Mysteries meets Downtown Abbey game. We only had two people (after massive amounts of bailing), so most of the session was the upstairs maid and the driver (me) sniping at each other. We had to prep the house for the daughter's new fiancee who was arriving today. We were momentarily distracted, however, by discovery of a body in the new beau's trunk. And the eventual (after much embarrassment) discovery of a prisoner's outfit and a murder weapon in his affects. Valuing discretion (and unable to convince the Head of Staff), I decided the best way to the daughter about her beloved's wrongdoing. Moving the body or murder weapon would be awkward. Confronting the killer would be dangerous! I took the best, easiest solution. First, I took out some notebook paper. Then, I made a two part treasure hunt.
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Feb 29, 2016 08:34
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the_steve posted:These stories are scratching an itch that hasn't been able to be dealt with since DivineCoffeeBinge's Star War stories. This is the highest praise I could hope to achieve.  Should have an update in the morning if I get up early enough, been sick as a dog the last few days.
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Feb 29, 2016 08:53
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We're playing World Wide Wrestling. A fire-themed luchador does his fire-breathing audience pleasing trick over a fallen opponent. Said opponent, a coked-out ex-MMA reject tried to chug down her opponent's flask (kept on him solely for the fire-breathing gimmick) as a form of diss earlier on in the match, but got knocked down from behind, meaning she spat fuel all over herself. The luchador botches his roll, so the obvious ensues. Now, the guy is in a tricky situation, as he also flubbed an important roll during his first fight of the campaign, seriously injuring his opponent's neck and gaining unwelcome notoriety in the locker room. So I put him in a spot: the audience, thinking it was a pre-planned stunt, goes apeshit - so the guy can either help his opponent stop loving burning, or keep up the illusion and hype, hoping that paramedics will rush in time. In a true Solomon fashion, the player decides that a kayfabe way to put the fire out is to start bashing the opponent with a steel chair. Another player rushes in, giving him a furious, kayfabe-breaking talk-down. Great drama, terrible on-camera disaster for the promotion. Other than cutting to commercials (of Luchitos-branded snacks), a quick interview is being set up about the shocking development, to get everyone to skim over the kayfabe-breaking part and pretend it's just another stunt to push a storyline. With one babyface seething with anger after his outburst and basically uncontrollable, I'm only left with Tenshi - an exiled yakuza member playing up his babyface aspect as a sad, honor-among-thieves ronin kind of thing. So what does our stern babyface have to say about the thing?  "I think Fuego did the right thing - he was stronger than his opponent and executed his rights. If anything, the only dishonourable thing was infringing on the sanctity of the ring. If it were up to me, I'd say he should burn them by the dozens, as long as he does that outside of these ropes."Hell of a match to open the night.
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Feb 29, 2016 10:22
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| # ? May 21, 2024 10:49 |
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So the weekend before last, I went to my first ever LARP convention. I'd been involved with a lot of really ornate, self-involved theatrical style LARPs in college (through the same community that introduced me to hosed Up Hell Building), but hadn't done any LARPing for a little under three years before that convention. Me, my fiancee, and a married couple who are our longtime friends drove up to Massachusetts for this thing, and I wasn't really sure what to expect. I knew that 2 of the 3 LARPs I'd signed up for featured some combination of the people I was traveling with as other players, so at least I could rely on them for a fun experience, but I was feeling pretty nervous about walking right into some pocket-protecting motherfucker's tedious wish fulfillment slog. The first LARP, on Friday, was an allegedly cyberpunk thing that looked really promising and turned out to mostly be a disappointing clusterfuck. That one might be worth going into? But after 10 posts worth of hosed Up Hell Building, I kinda wanna switch gears to the positive, at least for a bit. The second LARP, on Saturday, was a kinda abstract ghosts-and-feelings affair that started slow but turned out quite fun. The third LARP, on Sunday, was based on the 1960's Batman show and was delightful as gently caress. That's the one I'll be talking about today. My account is only gonna really be able to contain my own experiences, so apologies if it comes off as "And then I did this hilarious thing and this hilarious thing" - I want to stress that pretty much everyone involved was getting into equivalent hijinks constantly. --- The setup is that after a thrilling battle with his rogue's gallery last night, Batman has fallen off a bridge and is missing, presumed dead. Fearing that the Caped Crusader's absence will embolden Gotham's criminal element, pretty much every upstanding citizen of the city dusts off the old Batman disguise that they have in their closet, in order to impersonate Batman until his return and thus keep the crooks at bay. Similarly, pretty much every rogue in his gallery dusts off their old Batman disguise, in order to bring their vile schemes to fruition while placing the blame on that infuriating bat. The game takes place of the course of a day's worth of this, and everyone is expected to put on disguises, dramatically unmask themselves or others, concoct preposterous plots, and above all, be extremely credulous of everyone else's harebrained schemes. One of the most important pre-game GM instructions was "If you all acted reasonably, this game would be over in 10 minutes, so please don't try to use things like logic or common sense when puzzling out which of these Batmen in front of you is the real deal, at least until the very end of the game". My character is Eleanor Vandersmythe, CEO of a multinational chemical conglomerate and one of this week's guest stars. She, along with her museum owner brother Stanley and her high-society friends Bruce Wayne (ugh!) and Britt Reed, have a series of shared goals revolving around dressing up as Batman in order to make sure that the super-criminals don't compromise their financial, charitable, or artistic interests. On the morning of game day, Eleanor is set to receive an important chemical formula from a courier, and Stanley is set to receive a rare Egyptian scarab for his museum, so clearly Britt and Bruce will each dress up as one Batman to stand guard at our respective events, and then we'll repay the favor later. I try very hard to get Britt to pair up with me, as Bruce is clearly a wastrel and layabout who got so drunk last night that he doesn't even have any memory of the evening, but Stanley is really obviously trying to set me up with Bruce (ugh!) so I reluctantly accept his aid. Fortunately, as soon as we step out of our country club hideout, we encounter a man who's very obviously the Joker dressed up as Batman. Relieved, I tell Bruce (ugh!) that his services as Batman will no longer be necessary, since I have the genuine article right here. I grab Joker-Batman by the arm and take him to my formula-handoff event, where another fake Batman is lying in wait. The two of them argue over who the real Batman was, and seem to think that questions like "If you're the real Batman, what's Batman's favorite food?" are the way to settle the matter. At that point, a fake Green Hornet and fake Kato jump out and assault both fake Batmen, while the Riddler and Catwoman take advantage of the confusion to corner me and demand the formula. Remembering that I have a Catwoman disguise back at the country club, I gave up the formula without a fight - after all, I can just flag down the Riddler later while dressed as Catwoman and ask him where he stashed the formula. Feeling smug about my plan, I find the Riddler a little later, put on my Catwoman disguise, and ask him where the formula is so I can put it on top of a huge tacky pile of treasure or whatever weird stuff I'm into. Unfortunately, this guy is the real Riddler, not the fake that I met earlier, so he has no idea what I'm even talking about. I immediately understand what's going on here - he's the Riddler, so rather than tell me directly, he's posing a fiendish riddle. After asking him to repeat his answer a few times, I nod wisely and set off in search of more clues - the other members of the criminal underworld will surely have hints for me. I confront the Joker, still dressed as Catwoman... he has nothing for me. I confront the Penguin, still dressed as Catwoman... he has nothing for me either. At that point I grow frustrated enough with this devious riddle that I throw a tantrum, beat the Penguin up, and toss him in jail. This has a side benefit: by loudly telling everyone in earshot that I'm Catwoman, I've gone straight, I'm beating up villains now, I get to ruin her reputation among the crooks to get back at her for stealing my formula. I find the same Catwoman that stole from me earlier and begin to gloat about this, but she pulls me aside, reveals herself as Barbara Gordon, and explains that she and her dad Jim dressed up as Catwoman and the Riddler in order to fake the formula's theft and stash it in a safe place until all these criminals get caught. She even offers to take me to her and Jim's secret meeting place so I can see for myself! I take off the Catwoman disguise and agree to come along. When I get there, Jim is very obviously holding the formula, but I scoff and immediately dismiss it as a second-hand fake. He's suspicious at first of whether I'm the real Eleanor, but after some rapid-fire nonsense wherein he confirms that he would not give the real formula to a fake Eleanor or a fake formula to the real Eleanor, he agrees to give what we both now are convinced is a fake formula to me, the real Eleanor that he thinks is a fake Eleanor. Confident that I've got a fake and that Jim is still keeping the real thing in an extra-secure secret location, I begin irresponsibly tossing the formula between my hands and loudly telling everyone that I've got the formula back, in the hope that some villain will overhear and try to steal my fake (actually real, though) formula for me and look like an idiot (actually become rich, though) when they do. Shortly afterwards, I dress up as Catwoman again because I wanted to watch a fight and Eleanor Vandersmythe is too refined to be seen enjoying bloodsport in public. It's then that the real Catwoman - who, again, I haven't interacted with at all up until this point - finally tracks me down and demands revenge over how I've been slandering her bad reputation for no reason. She challenges me to a fight, I get lucky and beat her, and I try to dramatically unmask her. This has no effect, of course, since I'm the one wearing a Catwoman disguise and she's the real Catwoman, so I throw another tantrum and haul her off to prison. While I'm at the prison, Barbara flags me down and requests help from "Catwoman II, the Good Catwoman with the Posh Transatlantic Accent" to help save her father. Apparently he'd tracked down the villains' hideout, but got himself captured when he went in alone. Always up for more opportunities to beat down criminals (Two! I've gotten two of them so far! I'm really good at this!), I agree to go along, and the Batgirl/Catwoman team makes a dramatic entrance just as Jim begins to get lowered into a deathtrap made of chattering teeth. Barbara beats down the Joker while I take out the Riddler, and as I take the Riddler to prison, Barbara chooses to save her father over arresting the Joker, allowing him to escape. Still, a victory for the forces of justice. When I arrive at prison to drop the Riddler off, I see that Catwoman has somehow escaped! (Note that all villains automatically escape prison in this game after like 5 minutes) My worst fears are realized when I find her, impersonating me, trying to seduce Bruce Wayne of all people. Ugh! What's worse, Stanley is so blinded by his wish to get his sister Eleanor and his friend Bruce together that he seems to believe her over me. The deck's stacked against me here, but Stanley asks both Catwoman and I a question that only the real Eleanor would know how to answer: what was the name of our first childhood maid? Catwoman hems and haws, offering something like, "It started with a J... or was it an L?", whereas I give my answer with confidence: "A Vandersmythe would never lower herself to knowing the name of the help." Stanley is immediately convinced. That still leaves Bruce, though, who's sharper now that he's recovered from his head-trauma-induced temporary amnesia and is once again the World's Greatest Detective, but who's still deeply tempted by the idea of an Eleanor that actually returns his affections. He admits he's slightly suspicious, since before today Eleanor's always called him a... wasteland, was that the word? Eleanor: "Wastrel, my dear." Bruce: "Yes, that's it!" Eleanor: "Once again, my vocabulary saves the day." We share a hearty laugh, unmask Catwoman for who she is, and the game ends. In the post-game epilogue, we decide that Selina and Eleanor have become grudging friends throughout this whole affair, and we agree to split each of our lives down the middle. I get to be Eleanor Vandersmythe, CEO of Vandersmythe Industries, while also acting as the anti-heroic masked vigilante (and occasional lover of Batman), Catwoman. Selina, meanwhile, gets to be Eleanor Vandersmythe, betrothed to Bruce Wayne, while also acting as the great villainous jewel thief Catwoman. Sure, this arrangement means that Selina will occasionally steal from Vandersmythe or from me personally, but that's a price I can gladly pay in order to get Stanley off my back about marrying Bruce Wayne (ugh!) and to have the opportunity to play out more of these criminal-punching power fantasies whenever I want. --- This game was seriously fun as hell, and only took 2 hours to boot. If I go to this same convention next year, I'm definitely going to play in another run of it, since they put it on every year and there are no real restrictions around spoilers or anything when the core roleplaying conceit of the game is to indulge in willfully dense "yes and" stuff. It felt like all the things I love about Fiasco in the form of a breezy 2-hour LARP, and that's some pretty high praise. Jenny Angel fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Mar 1, 2016 |
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Feb 29, 2016 23:04
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