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quote:We used to joke that my uncle carried a sack with him everywhere he went. In that sack he put everything hurtful, all the negative poo poo that ever happened to him, all the wrongs ever done against him and anything that didnt go right for him. Every now and again he'd put down the sack, pull something out, look it over, handle it, think about it and reminisce on the hurt it caused him. He died a very sad, very lonely, very mentally unwell man at 58. I've never had someone describe my Mother so accurately. She really does carry all these grudges and hurt feelings around and the moment someone doesn't cowtow to her narcissism, she lashes out and throws a bag full of her previous grievances at you. She'll scream bloody murder about me marrying my wife calling it 'stabbing them in the back' but when I mention how she kicked a hole in a cabinet when I was 9 because she missed kicking me in the face because I was tying my shoes too slowly, she somehow forgets she ever could ever do something like that. Part of me wonders if enormo/fucknag got raised by a narcissist and the reason he's so emotionally stunted and unable to deal with life's ups and downs is because she was always there to coddle him. I had the worst trouble with this until I cut off all contact with my parents for two years. Now she knows to give me my space, but she'll still lash out at me from time to time. I know your Mom is making your current life possible, but sometimes you just gotta get out there on your own.
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Feb 24, 2016 13:28
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PROTIP: Don't A: pop your valve at your work supervisor B: get physical
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Feb 24, 2016 14:20
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Oh I do love a good Enourmo meltdown
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Feb 24, 2016 14:28
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Cakefool posted:Anyway, to cheer today up I've been called a lazy loving liar today, to my face. Because I won't embark on a quarter million pound safety modification with no proven benefit, no budget, no time in my plan and it's barely within my circle of responsibility. Requested by someone lower down the ladder than me. I'm expected to treat this person with dignity and respect when they treat me like that right to my face with their supervisor standing right there. I'm so loving angry. There are times when the words "gently caress off" are perfectly reasonable to use. Seems to me like this is one of those times.
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Feb 24, 2016 15:32
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What's the verdict on the first gen Audi TT 1.8T Quattro? A mate is considering one.
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Feb 24, 2016 15:39
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The Locator posted:There are times when the words "gently caress off" are perfectly reasonable to use. Seems to me like this is one of those times. You're right.
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Feb 24, 2016 15:40
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corn in the fridge posted:Oh I do love a good Enourmo meltdown thanks m8 glad to be of service
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Feb 24, 2016 15:43
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bolind posted:What's the verdict on the first gen Audi TT 1.8T Quattro? A mate is considering one. It's a VW MKIV platform car. 'Nuf said. The engines are decent, once the coil packs get replaced, the water pump impeller is plastic and likes to break, which takes out the timing belt. The biggest forums with info about the car and/or engine are festering cesspools of human indignity. The interior is very nice, but the soft touch plastics like to peel and smell like crayons.
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Feb 24, 2016 16:06
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Cakefool posted:I'm less than a mile from work, I've moved 0.4 miles in the last 45 minutes. I'm already late. When I find out who had a crash and caused this I'm going to tut in an emphatically British manner. Try to avoid the cars moving at 0 mph while you walk. ilkhan fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 16:31
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Enourmo, I honestly think you're a pretty cool dude 'cause you drive my favorite car of all time and you're studying cool stuff. In other news, this is what the weather looks like here:  I'm looking at 40-50 mph gusts outside my window, and they're calling fro 1-7" of snow today. WOOO!
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Feb 24, 2016 16:57
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ilkhan posted:Drive home and then loving walk. Home was 25 miles away at that point and I had no exit. I was nearly at work.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:01
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I don't like beer, but I'm having a Redd's with my tavern lunch, and it's not bad.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:28
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Thats like saying I dont like coke, but this sprite is pretty good. Redds aren't bad though. If you can find it still, woodchuck private reserve is amazing. Just a hint of pumpkin, it tastes like a sparkling apple wine. Plus its 7% so its got some nice kick. 
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Feb 24, 2016 17:31
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I'll drink Redds if its ice freaking cold and the temp outside is hot as balls. Otherwise, nah. It's kind of like Corona. I have to be outside and hot, and the bottle has to be near freezing, to enjoy it.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:44
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Safety Dance posted:Enourmo, I honestly think you're a pretty cool dude 'cause you drive my favorite car of all time and you're studying cool stuff. I think Kankakee county is supposed to get like 12 inches of love from Old Man Winter. I'm farther north and haven't seen a flake yet. Blowy as gently caress, though.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:44
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Tide posted:I'll drink Redds if its ice freaking cold and the temp outside is hot as balls. Otherwise, nah. It's kind of like Corona. I have to be outside and hot, and the bottle has to be near freezing, to enjoy it.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:46
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Cakefool posted:Home was 25 miles away at that point and I had no exit. I was nearly at work. Carry on.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:52
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Cage posted:Thats like saying I dont like coke, but this sprite is pretty good. Woodchuck has a hopped cider that is loving amazing.
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Feb 24, 2016 17:57
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Bucephalus posted:PROTIP: Don't Some idiot kid I worked with got fired for this, right after his girlfriend had his baby, so now he's out of work with a baby at home. There should be a law against kids having kids.
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Feb 24, 2016 18:12
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leica posted:There should be a law against kids having kids. There's a couple down the hall that have two dogs that they can't even be bothered to pick up their poo poo while they let them run off leash through the parking lot. She also looks about 7 months pregnant and I'm sure based on his lifted bro-blazer that kid is going to be all kinds of terror.
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Feb 24, 2016 18:20
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Safety Dance posted:Enourmo, I honestly think you're a pretty cool dude 'cause you drive my favorite car of all time and you're studying cool stuff. I love it when that happens and you end up with entire areas with 0.25" of ice and then surprise 4 foot snowdrifts, usually where you don't want them. It was -15 with significant amounts of windchill V-day weekend, and then a day later it was 50 out. Last weekend it was in the 50s and sunny and then last night it went back to 20s-30s and snowing. We're due for the better part of a foot of snow over the next few days. Winter, either stick around (don't do this) or gently caress off (please do this), enough already. I did get to watch a hawk tear a squirrel nest to pieces in a tree outside my bedroom window during the below-zero weekend, though, and then this morning shot all the squirrels that escaped the hawk after discovering they had taken up residence in my porch roof AGAIN. I guess life aint bad.
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Feb 24, 2016 18:22
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leica posted:There should be a law against kids having kids. Does 19 count? If so, hi 
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Feb 24, 2016 18:55
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ilkhan posted:Oh. I read it as you lived a mile from work, not you lived a ways away and were almost there. If I lived a mile from work I'd alternate between not giving a poo poo about fuel prices in a V8 and cycling in. E:bosuoku 1UZ TT RX8. cakesmith handyman fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 19:17
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The Locator posted:There are times when the words "gently caress off" are perfectly reasonable to use. Seems to me like this is one of those times.
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Feb 24, 2016 19:22
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Adiabatic posted:Mindfulness meditation and Zen Buddhism is a conscious effort to propagate Option A. Mindfulness practice changed everything for me, but instead of Buddhism I came to it through Morita psychotherapy. It's an application of Buddhist principles to psychology. The goal of the therapy is to teach students how to become aware of their feelings and accept them, without letting them get in the way of doing things that need to be done in their lives. When I was a sophomore in college (c.2008) I had an existential crisis because I realized that I was the only one responsible for my future success or failure (yes, in hindsight it's incredibly pathetic that I couldn't handle this), realized that I was gay, and realized that my chosen major (audio production) only worked out for trust-fund kids in the space of about a month. I was a really sheltered kid and I didn't have good coping mechanisms, so I basically shut down and let myself wallow in anxiety and depression. I couldn't see a way forward with school, but instead of doing anything productive about it I started sabotaging myself because the financial crisis was the end of the world and failing out of school was better than living openly as a gay guy with a degree, because in my mind none of it mattered. v  vFortunately, one of my friends saw what was going on, called me out on it (a bit more gently than the thread has with Enourmo, but still), gave me a book about mindfulness, and guided me toward a major (telecommunications) that I could finish without throwing away all of my audio coursework. Thanks to (sometimes inconsistent) mindfulness practice and my SO, I managed to finish both majors, scrape by with a 3.0 GPA, find a job in my field, and manage my depression. It's been a journey but I've ended up in a much better place than I thought I would a few years ago. Just so this isn't totally e/n, I started working on my car in the midst of all that, and having something to do with my hands with immediate, tangible results was really positive for my state of mind and self-worth, even when I messed up and it was really frustrating. It sounds really cliche, but you just have to keep taking the next smallest step toward your end goal, no matter how insignificant it might seem, because in aggregate those steps can and will make a big difference. SUSE Creamcheese fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 19:22
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Well, hey, look at all the drama in here. Seriously Enourmo, I don't think anyone hates you, I just think some are getting frustrated at you. I'm poo poo at advice for personal problems, but I think they're trying to help. I'm 46 now, and I think I can safely say that the stuff that seems so vital and important to you right now will likely not be in the future, just like how stuff that was so damned life or death in high school isn't now. If you need to vent, talk to a friend who will listen (they will, if they really are a friend) or a therapist. The therapist will more than likely also be able to offer useful suggestions as well. If you need meds, get them. Find a hobby if you can - this may be difficult with school and work, etc., so something small, maybe. I think that we as humans have a tendency to dwell on failures and negative aspects. I know I certainly do. You're not abnormal for feeling bad. Make an effort to think about the things you do have, and the opportunities available. Start with the fact that you are able to go to school, for example. While it may not be ideal, you have a place to live, and enough to eat. For god's sake, don't feel bad for feeling bad while others have it worse (been there.) That's human. Sometimes the platitudes work. One day at a time is not bad advice, if that's how you have to plow through. Everybody feels like their stuck or going in circles at some time, to one degree or another. Just keep going, keep trying. No one can ask more, really. Anyway, I noticed that I typo'd in my last post. My GPA was 3.4 not 4.3, which would be silly. I'm surprised someone didn't point that out. For work fun, our contract for outsourcing is coming up, and we're having to basically justify our continued existence to the host company. I hate working for an outsourcer. It's marginally better than being a contractor, but only just. Hope I don't have to find a new job, because I have zero interest in working for my company if it's not where I am now. I don't think my company has any other contracts near my location, and I'm not moving my family for these people.
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Feb 24, 2016 20:24
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Darchangel posted:Seriously Enourmo, I don't think anyone hates you, I just think some are getting frustrated at you. He had 20 people giving sincere advice trying to help, and what does he choose to focus on? The two posters who were negative and flippant. And I don't blame those posters, this is SA and you have to expect that at some point. Again, this is a case of americans typically treating mental illness as something you can tough your way through. If you broke your arm you'd see a doctor, but it's the brain that needs treatment in this case. Don't give up on treatment. If it doesn't work change it up. Without this holding you back you have all the advantage in the world for a great life. At least recognize good advice when you hear it and push through the wall to take it. I'm coming up on 6 months unemployed, I'm now 11k in the hole because of it (probably more because I didn't withhold taxes from unemployment insurance, which is taxable, how hosed up is that?) My mom died at Christmas, and I'm bored out of my mind while simultaneously totally unmotivated to do anything. But I'm not melting down because I'm not prone to clinical depression. Although the unemployment is a real kick in the junk emotionally. I mean, I think I'm good at what I do, I think my resume is impressive, so what the gently caress? So I keep waiting. LloydDobler fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 20:48
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A part of my IT job has me spending 4 hours a week in a hedge fund's office that smells like stale cigarettes. 90% of their infrastructure is well beyond end-of-life (who the gently caress uses Windows ISA? Who EVER did?) and there's no reason for a company with fewer than 10 employees to have an on-premise Exchange server. I've told all of this to my supervisors and they're having me fill out a spreadsheet that's a zillion miles long with clandestine acronyms that I have to keep looking up which are only used for this sheet. It's a complete cluster gently caress and my asthma is acting up and it's just a sad, sad place. All I wanna do is fix computers and go home, this bullshit is so far out of my job description that it's beyond the curvature of the Earth. 
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Feb 24, 2016 21:01
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LloydDobler posted:He had 20 people giving sincere advice trying to help, and what does he choose to focus on? The two posters who were negative and flippant. And I don't blame those posters, this is SA and you have to expect that at some point. When you have that many people giving you advice, it kind of feels like everyone is ganging up on you. I don't think we were trying to gang up on you, we just wanted to help and see him succeed.
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Feb 24, 2016 21:12
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this owns; you own I should really quit tying it to Buddhism honestly, as sometimes people have a blanket stigma against "religions" even though my experience has been entirely secular. Mindfulness practice has 100% changed my brain, and whenever I start feeling crazy or down or in a rut I (eventually and stubbornly because I AM A DUMB) turn back to mindfulness and poo poo instantly gets better and I'm all "hey retard you should probably do this more often". That's what I meant about popping the valve, not blowing up on somebody, though I understand how it could be construed that way. brb gonna go be mindful Edit: holy poo poo I know we all hate reddit but check this smart motherfucker out: Before meditation you identify with your ego. After, you remember who you really are. If you're frustrated, let THAT be your focus of meditation, because frustration is how your ego is manifesting. Adiabatic fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 22:07
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Adiabatic posted:this owns; you own https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fRCaHJof_U meatpimp.mpv
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Feb 24, 2016 22:14
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scuz posted:who the gently caress uses Windows ISA? Who EVER did? Holy poo poo, I forgot about that.. Thing.. 
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Feb 24, 2016 22:17
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I think I need more literature on mindfulness because I want to understand. All it reads like to me is : you have a problem, focus on fixing it instead of crying and bitching about it, because it'll still be there when you're cried out and nobody is around to listen to your kvetching.
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Feb 24, 2016 22:28
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I dunno, we had some mindfulness classes at work a little while back, and it all just seemed like new-age trippy-dippy bullshit to me. Sure, it's fine to be conscious of yourself, your own decision-making processes, and your reactions to the world around you. But there's no reason to tie it up in mystical bullshit. Hi, it's me. I'm the cynical misanthropic nihilist. God is dead, everything is bullshit, leave me alone. KozmoNaut fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 22:29
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KozmoNaut posted:Hi, it's me. I'm the cynical misanthropic nihilist. God is dead, everything is bullshit, leave me alone. Ditto. Everything is terrible and empty, there is no hidden meaning or mystical structure, there is no good solution beyond balancing hedonism in the now with slotting acorns away for an uncertain future and nothing will ever make you feel better like it's magic. It's all in your head. Just try not to think about how goddamn terrible nearly every aspect of this hideous fungus we call a civilisation is. FWIW I think therapists are like mechanics for your brain but they can't get in there with a screwdriver themselves, all they can do is tell you how to use the tools and what goes where. Kind of like when a mate needs help with his car and I stand there telling him what to do without getting my hands dirty
Slavvy fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 24, 2016 22:35
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BloodBag posted:I think I need more literature on mindfulness because I want to understand. All it reads like to me is : you have a problem, focus on fixing it instead of crying and bitching about it, because it'll still be there when you're cried out and nobody is around to listen to your kvetching. Not exactly but kinda. It's more about being able to say to yourself "this thing (pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral) is happening (to me/within me) and I acknowledge it but/and I do/do not need to immediately act upon it." It's also about being aware of the world around you as well as inside you. Most meditation practices begin with just becoming aware of your breath as it moves in and out without attempting to control it. Notice that air is entering your nostrils and mentally trace it as it flows in and inflates your lungs. Notice its coolness or heat. Now follow as your lungs deflate and press the air back out. If other thoughts enter your mind while that's happening, that's okay. Don't try and act upon them but that also means don't try and shoo them away before they want to leave, either. Just acknowledge the thought and let it pass on its own time--again, automatically. Just one minute of mindfulness of breath can dramatically decrease your heart rate, lower blood pressure, and allow you to resume whatever it was you were doing with increased attention and efficacy. edit: KozmoNaut posted:I dunno, we had some mindfulness classes at work a little while back, and it all just seemed like new-age trippy-dippy bullshit to me. Just because some dipshits wrap it up in woo-woo hippy b.s. doesn't mean there isn't an actual physiological rationale behind it.
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Feb 24, 2016 22:37
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scuz posted:and there's no reason for a company with fewer than 10 employees to have an on-premise Exchange server Yes there is. You loving hate cloud as the abortion it truly is
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Feb 24, 2016 22:39
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Slavvy posted:Just try not to think about how goddamn terrible nearly every aspect of this hideous fungus we call a civilization is. Slavvy posted:FWIW I think therapists are like mechanics for your brain but they can't get in there with a screwdriver themselves, all they can do is tell you how to use the tools and what goes where. Kind of like when a mate needs help with his car and I stand there telling him what to do without getting my hands dirty This.
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Feb 24, 2016 22:42
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Be that as it may I'm pretty alright with my google apps setup on my domain, all the benefits of gmail except I have it on my own domain, so if for some reason gmail does go away or google does collapse I can at least keep my same email address. Reminds me, at some point it'd be wise to archive all my email off of it, even though I seriously doubt google/gmail is going anywhere. e: I'm alright trying to help people but from my occasional glances into E/N it's more like trying to get a 300ZX owner to put new battery cables on than trying to talk a buddy through repairing their car while standing off to the side with a beer, metaphorically speaking.
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Feb 24, 2016 22:42
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CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:Yes there is. You loving hate cloud as the abortion it truly is
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