Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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Keru: Aug 2, 2004; 'n suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us 'n the sky was full of what looked like 'uge bats, all swooping 'n screeching 'n divin' around the ute.

Ramc posted:

What is going on here.

I wanted to see if it'd make any real difference. It didn't.

# ? Feb 27, 2016 09:53

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:29

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

jon joe posted:

I agree, there should be more things to do with dorfbux!

Mother loving Mystery Boxes!

The people have spoken, Jazz!

# ? Feb 27, 2016 12:36

fallingdownjoe: Mar 16, 2007; Please love me

Bah! I wanted to buy a better sword but couldn't afford it even with selling almost all of my armour!

# ? Feb 27, 2016 18:47

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

Round 10, Fight 5 :siren:

Go big and/or go home is on the left side of the arena.
Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets.
Tyler Durden is Hobbes (Iunnrais) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears leather armor.
3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.
Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.

The Petting Zoo is on the right side of the arena.
Antwoman (Spermy Smurf) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields an iron large dagger, a copper large dagger, and a bronze large dagger and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper low boots.
A Lost Cowman (Locomotive breath) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears a silver helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, silver gauntlets, and iron low boots.
Simon Belmole (Ablative) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper scourge and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, and copper high boots.
Stephen Harper (ChickenWing) is a male serpent man. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears leather gauntlets and leather high boots.

The Petting Zoo is a 1.51 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5393.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 3575.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home.

Stephen lags behind, and doesn't stay in his assigned row. Simon steps up to cover for the laggard, lashing at Moon Shirt and drawing blood immediately, then jumping away from Tyler's punch. Just because he doesn't feel pain is no reason to take an inury.

Antwoman starts a stab, but Tyler snatches at her wrist before the stab lands. I... did not know Dwarf Fortress modeled that. Moon Shirt smashes in one of her other arms, then Tyler brutally throws her to the ground. Finally, she gets back up and stabs at Tyler, drawing a little blood from a slash across his chest.

Meanwhile, Cowman has decided it's time to show Moon Shirt what for, rushing at the werewolf to knock him back and stun him, giving him a chance to catch the werewolf by the thumb. Moon Shirt punches back with his buckler, and Cowman's cheek is ruined.

Back to Antwoman. She continues to be Go Big's primary target, probably just because she's small. Another arm is pulped. She loses a dagger. Stephen finally enters the fray, and breaks Tyler's skull with a hammer blow. He doesn't let that stop him. He runs roughshod over Antwoman, and she falls back, stunned. Stephen continues to give her support, with another hammer swing making Tyler queasy. Tyler doesn't let that stop him, instead snatching at Antwoman's armor. He doesn't have the leverage to yank it clean off, though.

I haven't mentioned Snowshank yet because he literally doesn't have any combat lines to this point, incidentally. He only now gets involved, having very deliberately held back until he had a moment to stab Stephen in the back. Unarmored, bone and spine crack apart. The triopelagic (trinipelagic?) serpent falls over. He's still got the ability to bite, at least, if anyone accidentally sets an ankle down near his mouth.

Two stunned, one feeling sick, one paralyzed. The fight's only just begun. Now it's time for tongues. Willy somehow clubs Simon's tongue into a blood explosion, and Cowman grabs Tyler by his. Tyler will not be distracted, not even by that. He continues attacking Antwoman, clawing chunks out of another of her arms.

Simon lashes Willy, breaking the werewolf's right arm. Antwoman stabs the bloody-minded Tyler back, cutting his arm. He considers the cut, pukes all over it, faints away, and then falls over. In that order. Cowman is still holding his tongue, too. Snowshank, on the other hand, just puts his dagger in Stephen's back again, and lungs and ribs go, too.

Moon Shirt hasn't been completely idle. After getting thrown around by Cowman for a bit, he stabs Antwoman in the foot, cleanly pinning to the ground. Moon Shirt follows up with another stab, and she loses a second dagger. That leaves only the bronze one left to fight with, and only two of six limbs unharmed. It's too much. She's down, too. It takes a few attacks from both werewolves, but Willy flattens her head. Meanwhile, Simon, who really should be doing something more productive, is still trying to strike down Tyler. Moon Shirt demonstrates by removing one of the mole's arms.

The fight is still clumped. For some reason, now, Snowshank decides it's time to bite Stephen, and rips the useless right hand cleanly away. I guess that was a mid-fight snack. Cowman, too, is just obsessed with trying to kill Tyler, whose skull might as well be slade for all the luck they're having.

Then, um, I accidentally unpaused the game and the rest of the fight was over in an instant, so I'm trying to recreate this from logs after the fact. Sorry guys, but this was seriously something like half a second; the fight was just about played out. So no more images.

Simon eventually does manage to break open Tyler's skull, so he's dead. Snowshank continues making stab wounds in Stephen for a bit for a kill there. The werewolves run an instant one-two combo on Cowman, with Willy breaking his torso and Moon Shirt removing his head. Simon fares a little better, but the werewolf combo pack don't give him much of a chance to react, either, as again Willy pulls a torso shot and Moon Shirt removes his head.

The victors, and final disposition of separated body parts.

Kills
Snowshank Redemption: 1
3 Wolf Moon Shirt: 2 Kills Moon Shirt
Slam Whale Willy: 1
Simon Belmole: 1

MVP: Tyler Durden's skull, for distracting two fighters for the majority of the match.

Combat Log

And that's it. I lost all my bets this round. Darn it.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 20:27

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Simon Belmole joins the double-figured ranks, whilst 3 Wolf Moon Shirt continues to enhance his standing with thirteen kills. Despite that, the Zoo is still one kill ahead of Go big and/or Home, 27-26.

I'll do a leaderboard after I'm done cooking.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 20:36

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

ZeeToo posted:

And that's it. I lost all my bets this round. Darn it.

Don't feel bad. We can't all be betting superstars, catapulting to the top 6 despite registering for the forums halfway through the tournament.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 20:38

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

Cathode Raymond posted:

Don't feel bad. We can't all be betting superstars, catapulting to the top 6 despite registering for the forums halfway through the tournament.

And that's another thing! You ingrate kids these days; you have no idea how good you have it.

Back in my day, betting was by hand, and finding out what the gladiators used last round usually involved reading the combat logs to see if it was mentioned, and there was no easy, constantly up-to-date list of bets to reference! And it was uphill both ways! :argh:

You never could've if it weren't for _{trailblazers and leading the way and letting _{stealing our systems and _{coming in with no burden of remembering what things were like two tournaments ago _{and etc}}}}

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:00

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

ZeeToo posted:

And that's another thing! You ingrate kids these days; you have no idea how good you have it.

Back in my day, betting was by hand, and finding out what the gladiators used last round usually involved reading the combat logs to see if it was mentioned, and there was no easy, constantly up-to-date list of bets to reference! And it was uphill both ways! You never could've if it weren't for _{trailblazers and leading the way and letting _{stealing our systems and _{coming in with no burden of remembering what things were like two tournaments ago _{and etc}}}}

And champions were respected. Kids these days don't give the champions the respect and solid gold items they deserve :colbert:

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:05

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

ZeeToo posted:

And that's another thing! You ingrate kids these days; you have no idea how good you have it.

Back in my day, betting was by hand, and finding out what the gladiators used last round usually involved reading the combat logs to see if it was mentioned, and there was no easy, constantly up-to-date list of bets to reference! And it was uphill both ways! You never could've if it weren't for _{trailblazers and leading the way and letting _{stealing our systems and _{coming in with no burden of remembering what things were like two tournaments ago _{and etc}}}}

I find your crotchety ramblings implausible.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:16

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Those were dark days, when I had to manually enter every single bet and post updates with all the current bets and amounts and payouts and standings. You kids and your newfangled "web sites!"

code:

================================================================================
Chump                         Change   ||   Chump                         Change
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AJ_Impy                            0   ||   Al!                             1020
AmadeusVonBlastoise               10   ||   Anchors                            0
Anta                               0   ||   Astus                              0
Bad Munki                          0   ||   Bene Elim                          0
Boing                             10   ||   Brick Moses                      951
BUTTERWORBS                     1120   ||   Chariot                          849
Chicken Slayer                   300   ||   ChickenWing                      110
CommaToes                          0   ||   crandlebomb                     1020
Cythereal                       1220   ||   December Octopodes                 9
Deki                            1120   ||   Exercu                          1218
FebrezeNinja                       0   ||   FiddlersThree                      0
fluppet                           10   ||   Furypants                       1961
gbuchold                        1542   ||   Geekkake                           0
Gils                               0   ||   goatface                        1947
Gomegoth                        1875   ||   Haystack                           1
HiHo ChiRho                     5063   ||   Hihohe                           869
HisMajestyBOB                    200   ||   homerlaw                          10
i81icu812                        120   ||   Jack Anderson                   1220
Jack the Lad                       0   ||   Joe Der Maus                     214
Klokwurk                           0   ||   Krysmphoenix                       0
Lando131                        1220   ||   LCQC                              10
markus_cz                       1222   ||   matterhorn                        20
Maugrim                            0   ||   Mazerunner                       978
Monk E                          1220   ||   Morvus                          1220
Mr. Vile                          21   ||   Mr_Ham97                         901
nimby                              0   ||   Nobody                          1000
ObMeiste                        1220   ||   Ogianres                          10
Onean                           1320   ||   Orv                                0
Pasco                             10   ||   pelao                           1020
polystyrus                       357   ||   Pozzo                              0
Praisebetome                    2424   ||   PublicOpinion                     35
pun pundit                         0   ||   PureRok                           10
Ramc                            1103   ||   Random rear end in a top hat                   917
sants                             10   ||   Schneeble                        240
Selious                         1311   ||   semper wifi                     1020
shark mafia                       10   ||   shelper                         1020
spacejung                         10   ||   Spermy Smurf                     315
Tag Plastic                       20   ||   Tarezax                           10
Teledahn                          15   ||   The Happy Hyperbole             1020
The Lord of Hats                  20   ||   TheWhaler                          0
tourettedog                     1610   ||   ToxicFrog                          0
veekie                          1019   ||   VladTheEater                      20
Vox Nihili                     12302   ||   ZeeToo                             0
================================================================================

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:22

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

quote:

code:

Bad Munki                          0

I see some things never change

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:24

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Tunicate posted:

I see some things never change

Even then, my fate was sealed.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:25

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

I like the Chump Change

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:35

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Bad Munki posted:

Those were dark days, when I had to manually enter every single bet and post updates with all the current bets and amounts and payouts and standings. You kids and your newfangled "web sites!"
code:
======================================================================
Chump                         Change
----------------------------------------------------------------------
AJ_Impy                            0
Bad Munki                          0 
Klokwurk                           0
Krysmphoenix                       0
ZeeToo                             0
======================================================================

Thank you for providing this historical document that confirms my suspicion that some of you have always been contemptible poors.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:47

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Brutal. Also someone who is much better than me needs to immortalize that Jimbo Akimbo fight. Jimbo with his one exploded eye on the ground lunging toward the viewer, hammer in his one good hand, the other one bitten to hell. A moleman and a dwarf gnawing on his trailing legs with broken mouths. In the background a kobold clinging to his bow doing his best :sadfan:

with some sort of Iron Maiden-esque logo announcing the team name.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:53

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

gently caress my antwoman.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 22:03

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Ramc posted:

Brutal. Also someone who is much better than me needs to immortalize that Jimbo Akimbo fight. Jimbo with his one exploded eye on the ground lunging toward the viewer, hammer in his one good hand, the other one bitten to hell. A moleman and a dwarf gnawing on his trailing legs with broken mouths. In the background a kobold clinging to his bow doing his best with some sort of Iron Maiden-esque logo announcing the team name.

Not quite what you wanted, but:

Spermy Smurf posted:

gently caress my antwoman.

I'd rather not.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 22:53

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

my dad posted:

Not quite what you wanted, but:

# ? Feb 28, 2016 22:58

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Cathode Raymond posted:

Thank you for providing this historical document that confirms my suspicion that some of you have always been contemptible poors.

I always bet on my gladiator.

My gladiator does not always win.

Edit: one Iron Maiden-esque logo.

AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Feb 28, 2016

# ? Feb 28, 2016 23:06

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

We're gettin' there...

# ? Feb 28, 2016 23:46

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Cathode Raymond posted:

We're gettin' there...

loving incredible.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 23:53

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

There we go.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 00:06

Ablative: Nov 9, 2012; Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

So is there a prize for becoming part of the Double Digits Club?

Other than being able to rub it into the faces of my inferior teammates, I mean.

:smug:

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:18

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Ablative posted:

So is there a prize for becoming part of the Double Digits Club?

Other than being able to rub it into the faces of my inferior teammates, I mean.

Ask Lightly Whipped.

e: Oh you mean for kills, not losses.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:28

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Ramc posted:

Ask Lightly Whipped.

e: Oh you mean for kills, not losses.

Also I just realized the real reason we want to get to the next round of fights. Lightly Whipped vs Furry Farmer and Two Cows is coming up. This is your chance, jon joe (and team).

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:29

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Antwoman singlehandedly loses a fight, then Bad Munki gets fan art.

This is the worst day of my life.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:34

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Ablative posted:

So is there a prize for becoming part of the Double Digits Club?

Other than being able to rub it into the faces of my inferior teammates, I mean.

Once we get the last fight of this round done, you might get a mention in dispatches when I do the leaderboard.

Also, you have at least ten more kills than the worthless unblooded, which will aid your efforts to shame them.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:43

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

Antwoman singlehandedly loses a fight, then Bad Munki gets fan art.

This is the worst day of my life.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 02:14

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Wow.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 02:19

Locomotive breath: Feb 1, 2010

Spermy Smurf posted:

This is the worst day of my life.

Well I was gonna be pissy about losing, but I guess I feel a bit better now at least. As always, I blame you for all of our failings.

_{_{_{Good idea losing this round. Next round, operation "Rig All the Fights" is go. They'll never suspect a thing.}}}

# ? Feb 29, 2016 02:25

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

Cathode Raymond posted:

In the background I am screaming APELIMINATOR.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 03:13

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

alcharagia posted:

In the background I am screaming APELIMINATOR.

So far in the background, in fact, that it can't even be seen.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 03:19

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

alcharagia posted:

In the background I am screaming APELIMINATOR.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 03:32

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

ZeeToo posted:

That's probably pretty natural. I think we can be done by this round this weekend, even without other people running fights.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 05:36

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Ramc posted:

_{|----------------------------------------------------------'nuther fight please --------------------------------------------------------------|}

# ? Feb 29, 2016 05:54

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

B
L
O
O
D

# ? Feb 29, 2016 06:04

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

Yeah, don't stay up. I didn't get my other errands done in time today, and I need to sleep before work.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 07:12

Segway Rave: Dec 25, 2011; this is stanley barton he is the brother of the king and feels sad alot because other people don't like him much they say hes boring and not fun

I'm glad there's a break so I can properly mourn Worse Munki's winning streak.

I'm dying all of my fighter's armour black.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 07:48

Vapor Moon: Feb 24, 2010; Neato!; The Human Font

Don't we need to end Round 10 first so people can update fighters before diving right into round 11?

# ? Feb 29, 2016 12:43

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:29

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

FillInTheBlank posted:

Don't we need to end Round 10 first so people can update fighters before diving right into round 11?

Yeah, we do. So here it goes!

:siren:

Round 10, Fight 2 :siren:

Two Chicks with Dicks is on the left side of the arena.
Suck & gently caress Pighead (Dirty Frank) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears no armor.
Bo (Haystack) is a male human. He wields a bronze short sword and a wooden shield and wears a leather cap, leather armor, and leather high boots.
Stumpy (Mygna) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron great axe and wears a copper mail shirt.
Richard Kyanka (Lorrdernie) is a male dark gnome. He wields a bronze large dagger and wears no armor.

A Tarantino Film is on the right side of the arena.
Uma Thurman (AnoHito) is a female human. She wields a steel two-handed sword and wears leather armor.
Urist McLee (Fuubi) is a male dwarf. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm.
Snarls Barkley (Bene Elim) is a female werewolf. She wields a bronze pike and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm, a bronze mail shirt, and bronze gauntlets.
Solomon Rabinowitz (Added Space) is a male serpent man. He wields a copper mace and wears a steel helm, a steel mail shirt, steel gauntlets, and steel high boots.

Two Chicks with Dicks is a 2.07 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 4082.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1970.00 dwarfbucks for A Tarantino Film.

Clash bang boom. Bo gets first blood, knicking the werewolfs tongue and the sword exits Snarls' cheek. Urist McLee gets 2nd blood by biting Stumpy's finger off. Stumpy gets the better of the exchange by hacking deep into Urist's calf, and the dwarf falls to the floor bleeding profusely.

Up top Uma lances her sword at Suck and gently caress who dodges nimbly. The goblins return strike crushes the humans ribs.

That was a completely one-sided opening salvo.

And now the fighters continue to stand there, unmoving for almost the entire rest of the fight.

Bo swings again at Snarls and fractures his calf, chopping through a ligament. Snarls cannot deal with the pain and passes out on his feet and then hits the floor. Bo figures that's one down, so he changes gears and attacks Uma Thurman from the side. Umas entire right leg flies through the air moments later, severed by Bo's deadly sword.

Suck and gently caress sees that her target is down and targets Urist McLee instead. The dwarfs shin is shattered, and then Bo's sword gets stuck in his chest. Urist McLee passes out as well.

Solomon and Richard haven't really done much up till now.

So we've got 2 unconscious fighters from Tarantino Film, and poo poo just gets worse for them.

Three fighters try again and again to get through Snarls' helmet. Solomon is an afterthought, blows of his are blocked with contempt over and over while the focus is on the downed werewolf. Bo figures he should do something about the human screaming in pain on the floor, so he chops off Umas other arm and then chops into her foot. Uma passes out.

The first to die is Uma; Bo takes her head.

Richard Kyanka finally gets through Snarls' helmet after a dozen attempts and takes the second kill almost at the exact same time as above.

Bo's sword is stuck in Urist's heart, but that doesn't qualify for the kill. Stumpy punches Urist, getting the last attack and therefore the kill. This game is weird. Bo pulls on his sword before Urist bleeds to death, but it's not an attack so the kill is awarded to Stumpy.

Solomon, completely useless up till now, realizes he's alone. Luckily he's covered in steel armor. He backs up and braces for the charge.

Then he backs up again.

And again. Little Richard Kyanka sneaks around back and rolls a 20 for a critical backstab. His bronze dagger parts the steel armor and pierces Solomons left kidney. Great shot! I don't even know where kidneys are on snakes, but Richard does apparently.

This slows Solomon down enough so that Stumpy can catch him with a great blow to the neck. Stumpys axe is pulled from his hands as Solomon collapses.

Suck and gently caress smashes his helmet and the skull inside for the final kill.

Kills:
Suck and gently caress: 1
Bo: 1
Richard Kyanka: 1
Stumpy: 1

Combat Log

# ? Feb 29, 2016 15:03

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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