Sardines ~~ the dadliest catch

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numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

SARDINE THREAD 2016: GROWING FENNEL DOWN BY THE RIVER

# ? Mar 1, 2016 20:01

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# ? May 22, 2024 05:34

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

sleepin' in a van. tying our shoes laces on the bumper. eatin' nothing but canned dines.

yeah, I don't think 15 inches is gonna do it. get the gently caress out of the tundra, shepgots and grow yerself some loving fenewy

e: how can someone be of a religion that prohibits garlic and onion? like, I can kinda get all sorts of meat or shellfish being prohibited, but if someone tells you the holy text says you can't eat onions, you should know you;re being taken for a loving ride. that's a bigger, more obvious lie than that god exists.

Sizone fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Mar 1, 2016

# ? Mar 1, 2016 20:59

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Sizone posted:

sleepin' in a van. tying our shoes laces on the bumper. eatin' nothing but canned dines.

yeah, I don't think 15 inches is gonna do it. get the gently caress out of the tundra, shepgots and grow yerself some loving fenewy

e: how can someone be of a religion that prohibits garlic and onion? like, I can kinda get all sorts of meat or shellfish being prohibited, but if someone tells you the holy text says you can't eat onions, you should know you;re being taken for a loving ride. that's a bigger, more obvious lie than that god exists.

When I read this poem by Horace (in Latin :smug:

) I lost a ton of respect for the guy

Horace, Epode III posted:

If any man, with impious hand, should ever
Strangle an aged parent,
Make him eat garlic, it’s deadlier than hemlock,
O you iron stomachs that endure it!

What poison is this that’s burning my entrails?
Has viper’s blood mixed with these herbs
Betrayed me? Or has Canidia been tampering
With this unfortunate dish?

Medea, intoxicated with her Jason,
That most handsome of Argonauts,
Smeared him all over with this, while he tried to yoke
Those bulls unused to the harness:
She took revenge on her rival with gifts of this,
Before mounting her winged dragon.

Never did such a vapour from any dog-star
Settle on parched Apulia:
Nessus’ gift burnt Hercules’ shoulders with no less
Effective a fiery heat.

If ever, my dear Maecenas, you aspire
To repeat the jest, I just pray
That your girl with her hands obstructs your kisses,
And takes the far side of the bed!

raton fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Mar 1, 2016

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:23

A Concrete Divider: Jan 20, 2012; The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

Just had my first can of dines, King Oscar brislings in tomato sauce. :five:

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:26

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Welcome, soon you will ascend to the second (non-tomatoey) plain of pescatory

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:35

wireframeskull: Dec 3, 2006

Hey dads can I get some help with things to eat with my dines straight from the can that aren't triscuits?

I went into a trance and ate an entire box of triscuits, first with dines but then continuing with cheese. I have no control with those loving things they['re just too crispy and good.

I used to just eat dines straight from the can but got tired of that. Please send help

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:43

A Concrete Divider: Jan 20, 2012; The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

I put mine in some spicy asian noodles :unsmith:

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:46

ChrisHansen: Oct 28, 2014; Suck my damn balls.; Lipstick Apathy

I used to do dines on crackers, but then I discovered toast

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:50

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

who the gently caress writes four verses describing how they are a total food pussy with poo poo taste?

"I ordered a burrito from a taqueria
it was affordable and the place was busy which is a general indication that it is of good quality
it burned my tongue because I am a literal baby
like, uncomfortable if I am imbibing anything stronger than milk
from the warming comfortable embrace of my mother's bosom

after eating I went home
and yelped! my displeasure over the experience
I also complained
that the greek place served olives in their salad
which retained their stones
I bit on them and nearly broke my teeth
because I am, in addition to being a literal baby,
also a literal retard incapable of processing that olives
grow on a tree and are the fruit of that tree
thus containing a pit as, being a seed, they are meant to fall to the ground
and propagate into another olive tree
alas, I cannot process this and can only comfortably consume
processed olives

I suck

loving kill me please
you will be doing the world a favor
maybe not this generation
as I have a few idiots who are my friends
who will feel sorrow upon my demise
but certainly, future generations
not needing to deal with my corrupt heredity
will offer silent gratitude
to the dines and garlic and onions and hops
and other good food and drink which I am too much of a sissy to partake in"

Sizone fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Mar 1, 2016

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:51

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

The original is just one long block of bitchmade crybabying, I split it into four to make it more readable if not more acceptable in content.

We had a Roman food night in Latin class in highschool using ancient recipes and holy moly was their food bad. The artichokes were pretty much the only thing that wasn't horrific.

The normal meal for a Roman soldier was boiled wheat with a little salt on it like some kind of lovely dago rice. Bread was considered a treat.

raton fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Mar 1, 2016

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:56

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

Thanks sardine thread, I'm virile AF right now.

Edit- was eating the jalapeño 'dines on some baguette with avocado while posting. Good stuff, people.

Droogie fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Mar 1, 2016

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:57

wireframeskull: Dec 3, 2006

Anderron Shi posted:

I put mine in some spicy asian noodles

hot drat, will try

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:57

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

save the bellas for last and don't neglect the webby, leafy green bits on the fenewy. they must have a use, even if I haven't found it yet

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:58

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Sizone posted:

save the bellas for last and don't neglect the webby, leafy green bits on the fenewy. they must have a use, even if I haven't found it yet

They are a very nice garish at the end on top of anything you put the bulb in to when cooking. Just the soft ones though so you have to pick through em a little because fennel gets real woody real quick.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:00

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

Sizone posted:

save the bellas for last and don't neglect the webby, leafy green bits on the fenewy. they must have a use, even if I haven't found it yet

I have chickens and a compost pile. No part of any vegetable gets wasted.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:01

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

final2percent posted:

Hey dads can I get some help with things to eat with my dines straight from the can that aren't triscuits?

I went into a trance and ate an entire box of triscuits, first with dines but then continuing with cheese. I have no control with those loving things they['re just too crispy and good.

I used to just eat dines straight from the can but got tired of that. Please send help

these are good

plus they don't really go stale

plus you will feel like you're eating a roof shingle if there's no dines on it

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:04

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

Droogie posted:

I have chickens and a compost pile. No part of any vegetable gets wasted.

oh gently caress, you have a very complete rural/semirural life style. I'm not going to pity you because of the night shift, you have things that adequately compensate for it.

make a fisherman's eggs with fresh eggs and take A LOT of photos because it will be the most loving amazing thing ever and will make sheepgoats cum in his pants

e: no, the wasas are loving gross and were basically the main detriment of the old dine thread

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:05

wireframeskull: Dec 3, 2006

BraveUlysses posted:

these are good

plus they don't really go stale

plus you will feel like you're eating a roof shingle if there's no dines on it

yes, perfect

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:08

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

jesus christ, don't eat the shingle crackers

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:12

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Sizone posted:

e: how can someone be of a religion that prohibits garlic and onion?

Jains don't think you should kill things, even to eat. So plants that you can eat bits of without killing the plant, like apples and tomatoes, eat those, but harvesting root vegetables like garlic and onion means uprooting the plant and killing it, so they don't eat those.

Or at least the really serious-about-it ones don't, like every religion there's a spectrum and they have their equivalent of Christmas-and-Easter Catholics, who will happily eat carrots and onions.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:12

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

yeah, don't they also not shower because soap kills the stench bacteria on their skin. jains are a joke, dude, no one joins the jains except on a dare or to provide a counter example to a though experiment

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:15

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

A life without garlic, is a life not worth living.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:20

NmareBfly: Jul 16, 2004; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Maybe the guy just chomped down on a big raw garlic bulb? I did that once on a dare and it was in fact pretty awful.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:22

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

NmareBfly posted:

Maybe the guy just chomped down on a big raw garlic bulb? I did that once on a dare and it was in fact pretty awful.

In the North of China you can get these really cheap bowls of noodles in broth except the broth is quite thin and the noodles are plain wheat so there's very little flavor. The way you eat them is you pour some of this black vinegar into the broth (it's not dissimilar to balsamic) and then you get a little plate with about six or seven peeled raw garlic cloves on it. You eat a mouth full of the vinegared noodles and then bite off a piece of raw garlic and chew them up and you get a strong sensation in your mouth that is not flavor but is similar to flavor. Because I grew to like that experience in the few months I lived there I will occasionally have a flashback and when eating things like roasted meat or hummus or chicken soup I will sometimes fetch a toe of garlic out if the bulb and nibble away on it as I eat the other thing.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:34

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

you know, for as much poo poo as I give you about turning your oven up to 500 and not being able to whip, I really do like and kind of respect you

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:39

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

_{I knows it homie}

# ? Mar 1, 2016 22:41

doctorfrog: Mar 14, 2007; Great.

Today's garlic might be a bit better domesticated compared to what was available in ancient Rome. Gotta have my aromatics, man, I don't know what's wrong with people can't eat an onion.

is there a wd40 thread yet

# ? Mar 2, 2016 00:09

Male Tiers: Dec 27, 2012; Why don't you just lay down your weapons now?

King Oscar just posted a coupon :getin:

http://www.kingoscar.com/special-offers

# ? Mar 2, 2016 00:35

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

After eating my 'dine lunch I hopped in my '74 dart, drove to the hardware store, and bought some spackle. Feelin' manly.

Sizone posted:

oh gently caress, you have a very complete rural/semirural life style. I'm not going to pity you because of the night shift, you have things that adequately compensate for it.

make a fisherman's eggs with fresh eggs and take A LOT of photos because it will be the most loving amazing thing ever and will make sheepgoats cum in his pants

I actually live in a city, but I also front yard garden. When my job isn't sitting on my rear end reading the forums, I tend to see a fair about of hosed up and/or depressing poo poo. I have a lot of hobbies to mentally balance myself. I also paint.

I will definitely get to make the eggs tomorrow!

# ? Mar 2, 2016 00:53

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

If my city neighbor had chickens I'd light his face on fire.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 01:29

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

Sheep-Goats posted:

If my city neighbor had chickens I'd light his face on fire.

I don't own any roosters.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 01:56

ChrisHansen: Oct 28, 2014; Suck my damn balls.; Lipstick Apathy

I went shopping and forgot my free dine coupon but bought them anyway. It felt pretty dadly

# ? Mar 2, 2016 02:01

isaboo: Nov 11, 2002; Muay Buok
ขอให้โชคดี

ChrisHansen posted:

I went shopping and forgot my free dine coupon but bought them anyway. It felt pretty dadly

forgetting everything is the epitome of dadliness so yeah

# ? Mar 2, 2016 02:02

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

im in the mood for some sardines i havnt had any in weeks

HECK

# ? Mar 2, 2016 02:02

LongDarkNight: Oct 25, 2010; It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.; Oven Wrangler

I had the KO in spring water last night. It wasn't a good experience. They just tasted soggy. Maybe you could use them for cooking, but wouldn't eat again.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 02:11