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Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

QuoProQuid posted:

I'm really looking forward to see who goons vote for between Grover "probable rapist" Cleveland and James "nakedly corrupt" Blaine.

MAW MAW WHERES MY PAW

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QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Corek posted:

MAW MAW WHERES MY PAW

GONE TO THE WHITE HOUSE, HA, HA, HA

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
I feel like the worst part of this thread for QuoProQuid is going to be researching dozens of obscure Prohibition Party candidates who no goon will ever vote for anyway.

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


QuoProQuid posted:

GONE TO THE WHITE HOUSE, HA, HA, HA

Proto-Groverhaus

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.

Pakled posted:

I feel like the worst part of this thread for QuoProQuid is going to be researching dozens of obscure Prohibition Party candidates who no goon will ever vote for anyway.

what if one of them is a secret adams though

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich
In 1880 the Prohibition Party was the only party not to support Chinese Exclusion.

^ Also, the VP candidate's middle name was Adams. :tinfoil:

Corek has issued a correction as of 00:57 on Mar 5, 2016

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Wikipedia posted:

The 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote, did not pass until 1920. Yet, in 1869, the Prohibition Party became the first to accept women as party members[4] and even gave women who attended its first national convention full delegate rights. This was the first time any party had afforded women this right.[5] These women “spoke from the floor, entered debates, introduced resolutions, and voted on the party platform.”[6] Women’s suffrage appeared on the Prohibition Party platform in 1872. In 1892, the platform included the idea of equal pay for equal work. By contrast, women’s suffrage did not appear on the platform of either the Democratic or Republican platform until 1916. The Woman’s Christian Temperance Union (WCTU), which later became instrumental in the passage of the 18th Amendment, started out as the women’s branch of the Prohibition Party. It went on to become more influential than the party itself. It was, “the largest women’s organization of the nineteenth century and the heart of the organized demand for prohibition and women’s rights as well as for prison and labor reform, for public support for neglected children, and for peace – in short for a transformed society dedicated to social justice."[5]

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.
The Prohibition Party's got my vote! They're still around, after all!

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Someone should edit Kelly's "Whiskey Sours" so Kelly in the corner is saying this is a bad thing and to vote Prohibition.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

UberJew posted:

depends on if op decides to throw all the plausible nominees for the republican party that election in

chaos reigns

team of rivals is a good book

having democrats/republican/constitutional union primaries as a prelude could be fun

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

WTF how could I forget Garfield as a example.

Actually who are we kidding, this is where Mallard Filmore dude got the idea

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Nebakenezzer posted:

WTF how could I forget Garfield as a example.

Actually who are we kidding, this is where Mallard Filmore dude got the idea

also Calvin and Hobbes, though they were never politicians

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

Corek posted:

MAW MAW WHERES MY PAW

QuoProQuid posted:

GONE TO THE WHITE HOUSE, HA, HA, HA

gently caress yeah

Raskolnikov38 posted:

having democrats/republican/constitutional union primaries as a prelude could be fun

1860 might be worth dwelling on, good thought

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015
Slate's Whistlestop covers several elections after 1840, and they are still adding more: http://www.slate.com/articles/podcasts/whistlestop.html.

Incidentally, I recently reread Favell Lee Mortimer's "The Clumsiest People in Europe". It's a global view of a Victorian woman who never left the house writing about different countries and people in the 1850s. And while she is generally really nasty and mean, she still recognizes slavery in the US to be utterly horrible. I found it interesting because it shows that the only part of the civilized world in the middle of the 19th century where slavery was still considered acceptable was really the USA. Which makes slavery the climate change denial of its day, I guess.

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

QuoProQuid posted:

I did consider keeping the Liberty Party in the next few elections, but in the next few elections their support will plummet to a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent.

I had a similar problem in 1844. I really wanted to include the very deceased Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

I did like the suggestion, made early in the thread, that whoever won an election here would be a candidate in the next election, no matter what the actual history.

We might still be electing John Adams. Even if you added a clause saying a candidate wouldn't stand after their historical death, that's still about eight terms.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011
Oh god, eight terms of Adams might have caused the nation to collapse under the weight of his many titles.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.

Vavrek posted:

I did like the suggestion, made early in the thread, that whoever won an election here would be a candidate in the next election, no matter what the actual history.

We might still be electing John Adams. Even if you added a clause saying a candidate wouldn't stand after their historical death, that's still about eight terms.

I think it's more fun, interesting and encourages more variety to use real history for candidates.

SpRahl
Apr 22, 2008

karmicknight posted:

Oh god, eight terms of Adams might have caused the nation to collapse under the weight of his many titles.

You think after 3 terms and a vice presidency he didnt somehow manage to work those titles into law? And maybe add a few new ones.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

SpRahl posted:

You think after 3 terms and a vice presidency he didnt somehow manage to work those titles into law? And maybe add a few new ones.

I think the better question is: How big is the Temple of the Divine Adams?

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.
The gooniverse's Mount Rushmore will be four Adams.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

I think it'd get away from the thread if we wrote a goon political history from 1776. For one, the civil war would have happened immediately. For another, it would have rapidly become a less structured let's play, where the USA somehow annexes New Brunswick and wins the war of 1812 as a opener, and Jackson ends up resettling Quebec with Irishmen or something, with all the Acadians condemned to Louisiana, leading to Western States speaking french and siding with Mexico, etc etc

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth

Nebakenezzer posted:

I think it'd get away from the thread if we wrote a goon political history from 1776. For one, the civil war would have happened immediately. For another, it would have rapidly become a less structured let's play, where the USA somehow annexes New Brunswick and wins the war of 1812 as a opener, and Jackson ends up resettling Quebec with Irishmen or something, with all the Acadians condemned to Louisiana, leading to Western States speaking french and siding with Mexico, etc etc

I disagree. I think it would be a wonderful ending to this thread if we wrapped all the elections into a cohesive narrative.

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Lycus posted:

I think it's more fun, interesting and encourages more variety to use real history for candidates.

Yeah I like this as well - you see more stuff which is part of the point.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Mycroft Holmes posted:

I disagree. I think it would be a wonderful ending to this thread if we wrapped all the elections into a cohesive narrative.

here you go:

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

i don't think it's possible to form a cohesive narrative out of our votes unless you pretend we're also representative of the american populace from 1788 on. in which case it's basically alt-history where everybody always agreed with us, which is fine and all but then it's not really a history thread any more. qpq would've had to be finding reformists and interesting historical figures who kinda agree with us to run instead of the historical characters, and changing their beliefs to fit into our modalities, for example separating the social reform movements we agree with (abolition, utopian socialism, whatever) with the ones we don't (i.e. temperance/prohibition, shipping freed slaves to africa)

if you try to tie our answers in with history then the actual human beings of the time would be like 'what the gently caress are these results' and either have civil wars or write a new constitution where we don't get to vote for them any more

oystertoadfish has issued a correction as of 23:28 on Mar 5, 2016

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.
My only minor suggestion for QuoProQuid is to indicate people who became president via succession in the list in the OP, like Ellmaker.

Lycus has issued a correction as of 23:31 on Mar 5, 2016

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Thank you all for voting. After the disastrous presidency of James Birney and the party’s attempt to appoint his the President’s relative, the Liberty Party has collapsed into itself. Their nominee, Gerrit Smith, has finished only votes ahead of the Democrats, the widely despised secessionists. With a large popular mandate behind him, Martin Van Buren, the Little Magician, has been elected President of these United States. We can only hope that he and he some success rebuilding our broken nation.

Charles Francis Adams has been selected as the Vice President. Though Adams will be forced to delay the release of his magnum opus, he has sworn to do all he can to follow in his father and grandfather’s footsteps.

RESULTS BREAKDOWN:

Most Popular Ticket:

Martin Van Buren / Charles Francis Adams, Sr. (Free Soil) - 62 votes (61.4%)
Zachary Taylor / Millard Fillmore (Whig) - 26 votes (25.7%)
Gerrit Smith / Charles C. Foote (Liberty) - 9 votes (8.9%)
Lewis Cass / William Orlando Butler - 4 votes (4%)

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

ELECTION OF 1852

:siren: Click here to vote in the Election of 1852! :siren:



Background:

On March 5, 1849, as Taylor made his slow trek towards Washington, President Polk wrote in his diary, “General Taylor is, I have no doubt, a well-meaning old man. He is, however, uneducated, exceedingly ignorant of public affairs, and I should judge of very ordinary capacity. He will be in the hands of others, and must rely wholly upon his cabinet to administer the government.” With friends, Polk worried incessantly about his successor. He feared, as any President does, that his opponent would undo the hard-won progress that he had made over the last four years: the annexation of Texas and Oregon, peaceful relations with the British, lower tariff rates, and a cooling of tensions over slavery. Unlike other Presidents, Polk feared that Taylor would be wholly inadequate. That the nation would not just be worse off, but that it would be torn asunder.

For the first few weeks of his presidency, Polk’s fears seemed to be misplaced. Taylor delivered a short, but innocuous address. He showed deference towards Congress. And he helped arrange dignified state funerals for Polk and former First Lady Dolly Madison. The only issues on the horizon were expected requests for statehood from California and New Mexico, one of whom would be expected to be a slave state and the other a free state. However, when Tyler addressed the Congress in December 1849 on the issue, he gave no reference to the slave-status of the prospective states. Instead, he urged Congress to admit the two as soon as possible.

Over the next few months, relations between Congress and the White House deteriorated. As Southern interests demanded with increasing hostility that the free-slave state balance be maintained, Tyler grew hostile and demanded to know why the Democrats, who had advocated popular sovereignty in the last election, were now advocating federal interference in the constitutions of two prospective states. Tyler was interrupted in his office and faced harassment in the street by wealthy landowners. As abolitionists rallied to abolish the slave market operating in the District of Columbia, tensions between North and South further deteriorated and secession was discussed in public. As Henry Clay and Stephen Douglas rushed to find some compromise, Taylor’s position hardened and he announced that he would push for slavery to be prohibited in the entire Mexican cession.

In Spring, Taylor met personally with a group of Southern representatives who threatened secession if their interests were not satisfied. Taylor responded by promising to hang them all and personally lead an army into the South. It seemed the United States would descend into war.

And then, several weeks later, Taylor died. Rumors swirled, but tensions cooled as the much more compromising Millard Fillmore took power and immediately supported Clay and Douglas’s Compromise, dubbed the Compromise of 1850. A longitme ally of Henry Clay, Fillmore accepted Clay’s argument that the bill was necessary to keep the Union intact. Though not perfect, and in many ways morally unsatisfying, Fillmore considered the bill a necessary evil.

Outside the District of Columbia, the reaction to the Compromise was much more negative. Northern abolitionists were enraged by the Fugitive Slave Law and threatened nullification to stop its enforcement. Southerners were outraged by new restrictions on slavery in the District of Columbia and in California. Fillmore, desperate to appease everyone, tried to enforce it stringently to avoid further escalation. In 1851, after a Maryland man was killed by his runaway slave, Fillmore arrested over forty people - both white and black - and charged them with treason, a capital offense, for violating the Fugitive Slave Law. When Fillmore tried to enforce the law in his native New York, federal officers were greeted by bands of armed abolitionists and forced to flee. In the South, violence increased and a growing chorus of voices demanded their property be returned or they might leave the Union.

As the Election Day approached, the Democrats nominated Franklin Pierce, a Mexican-American war hero whose position on slavery was vague enough that it did not cause fistfights between Northerners and Southerners within the party. The Democrats also hired Nathaniel Hawthorne, the author of The Scarlet Letter, to write propaganda in preparation for the election. The Whigs, hoping to outdo their opponents, nominated Winfield Scott, Pierce’s commander during the Mexican-American War. Though ordered by his party to remain silent on slavery and to run a Taylor-esque campaign, Scott vocally endorsed a pro-Compromise platform that alienated Northerners and made Southerners suspicious. The Whigs would spend the next few months attempting to censor their own candidate as rifts over slavery tore the party down the middle.

Meanwhile, President Fillmore has sent out orders demanding that forts across the South be reinforced and fully supplied, just in case…


DEMOCRATIC PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Franklin Pierce
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: New Hampshire
  • Notable Positions: Brigadier General in the Continental Army, United States Senator from New Hampshire, United States Representative from New Hampshire, New Hampshire State Representative, Colonel in the New Hampshire State Militia
  • Biography: Like most men in politics, Franklin Pierce’s career was aided by his father. The son of a two-term Governor of New Hampshire, Pierce received convenient promotions through the New Hampshire Legislature and United States Congress. Bored and lonely in Washington, Pierce developed a reputation for drinking and gossip. Only after marrying Jane Means Appleton, a shy deeply religious, teetotaler who convinced him to leave politics, did he shake his reputation. Still restless, Pierce joined the United States Army in 1846 after Congress declared war on Mexico. There, he led several large detachments of men with mixed results. At the Battle of Contreras, Pierce was knocked from his horse and suffered a serious injury to his leg. Though he proved integral to the war effort, the injury caused him to suffer regular fainting spells. As a result, his opponents have labelled him “Fainting Pierce,” and accused him of cowardice on the battlefield.
  • Platform: Franklin Pierce is an obscure politician and a mildly famous war veteran who only achieved his party’s nomination because his views on slavery were not well-known. Pierce has tried to continue this trend into the general election and avoided talking about slavery in any capacity. In fact, Pierce would like the election to be about his personal image against Scott, a handsome, young Northerner whose magnetic personality can bridge the growing rift between the North and South versus an ugly tortoise who might inflame tensions further or crown himself Imperator.

    For those who want record over optics, Pierce was known as a moderate during his time in Congress. Pierce opposed the rechartering of the National Bank but supported minor internal improvement projects. During the Panic of 1837, Pierce blamed the depression on the economy’s overdependence on federal funds and “he extravagance of overtrading and the wilderness of speculation.” He promised to regulate land speculation but resigned before he could accomplish this task. As abolitionism gained popularity in the 1830’s, Pierce broke with his fellow Northerners to decry the “radical agitation” that threatened Southern states’ rights. To cool tensions, Pierce has also supported the Gag Rule, a rule prohibiting the discussion of slavery in any capacity on the House floor. He is known to be an avid supporter of the military and made military modernization and expansion a cornerstone of his political career.


Vice Presidential Nominee: William Rufus DeVane King
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: Alabama
  • Notable Positions: President pro tempore of the United States Senate, United States Senator from Alabama, United States Ambassador to France, United States Representative from North Carolina, Assemblyman in the North Carolina House of Commons
  • Biography: Despite campaigning as the “native son” of Alabama, King wasn’t born in Alabama. In fact, King served prominently in North Carolina and in Washington and only moved to Alabama after serving special diplomatic posts in Russia and Naples. As a Congressman, King has served as a loyal party-man and Jacksonian, attempting to curb the worst infighting by reminding various factions of their party’s history. As an adamant Unionist and large cotton-grower, one who owns one of the largest plantations in Alabama, King has served as a helpful diplomat capable of bringing the party together. There are, however, strange rumors about his relationship with James Buchanan, another Democratic faction leader and Presidential hopeful. The two men have a very close personal relationship, living in the same boarding house and attending social functions together. Recently, King’s health has been in sharp decline. He recently travelled down to Havana, Cuba in hopes that he will survive through the Election.
  • Platform: King has been added to the ticket to balance the Democratic ticket geographically and to address concerns over Pierce’s lack of senior-level experience. But like Pierce, King has embraced the Democratic Party’s no-issues platform and refuses to comment on any politically-divisive issues. As a Senator and Congressman, King has worked hard to cool tensions between North and South. In the run-up to the Compromise of 1850, King worked hard to preserve the Gag Rule, a rule which prohibited any discussion over slavery within the House. He also tried to convince President Fillmore not to abolish the slave trade in the District of Columbia, claiming that it would inflame the South. He opposes both the radical Abolitionists in the North and the Fire-Eaters’ calls for secession in the South. On all other issues, King is a classic Jacksonian. He opposed the National Bank and has tepidly supported the Independent Treasury. King believes in popular sovereignty and supports the expansion of suffrage.


WHIG PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Winfield Scott
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Home State: Virginia
  • Notable Positions: Commanding General of the United States Army, Military Governor of Mexico City
  • Biography: Since 1814, Winfield Scott has been the country’s foremost military leader, a man whose exploits rival Jackson and Taylor. During the War of 1812, Scott commanded troops on multiple occasions and provided some of the few American successes in the Invasion of Canada, which made him an acclaimed hero. Respected by Jackson for his resolve and bravery under fire, Scott was chosen to lead troops near South Carolina during the Nullification Crisis and served as Jackson’s official emissary to the South. His leadership helped successfully defuse the crisis and led to Scott’s promotion to overseeing the Indian Wars and Cherokee Removal. Though he found his role in both situations morally repugnant, Scott did not believe he could disobey direct orders from the President. Thousands would die in the forced-removals, despite Scott’s attempts to make it as humane as possible. During the Mexican-American War, Polk personally appointed Scott to lead an army of regulars and volunteers to the Rio Grande until political tensions between the two led Scott to be re-assigned to oversee the campaign in Veracruz. There, he oversaw Franklin Pierce and eventually served as Military Governor of Mexico City. Despite being nationally respected, Scott is known in private for being extremely vain and obsessed with personal appearances. He earned the nickname “Old Fuss and Feathers” because of his emphasis on military formalities. To undermine his campaign, Pierce has spread rumors that Scott intends to crown himself as military dictator.
  • Platform: In preparing for the campaign, the Whigs tried to embrace the same non-issue campaign as the Democrats. They hoped to make the race a competition of character, a race between the young, reckless, and cowardly “Fainting Pierce” and the established, trusted, brave “Old Fuss and Feathers.” Though Scott had spoken out against slavery in 1842, if the race was going to be about military background, then Winfield Scott would win. All he had to do was keep silent and use Zachary Taylor’s old tricks.

    But Winfield Scott has refused to stay quiet. Instead of joining the intransigent South, which argued that slavery was a positive good that should be expanded, or the vocal North, which anathemized the continued existence of slavery as a mortal sin, Scott has vocally carved out his own path. Declaring slavery to be “mutually prejudicial” to the interests of blacks and whites, Scott has written that the government should “employ all means, not incompatible with the safety of both colors, to meliorate slavery to extermination.” He hopes to appeal to the nation’s intellect and “Christian compassion,” for them to see that slavery is antiquated and should be slowly restricted and, in the long-term, abolished. He has called for the North to tolerate laws, like the Fugitive Slave Law, while the federal government works out some sort of compensation for slaveowners when slavery is, eventually, somehow abolished. For these acts, the Whig Party has desperately tried to silence their own candidate and embraced a pro-slavery platform to compensate for Scott. These decisions have alienated voters in both the North and South.

    Though Scott has never run for office, he published a series of pamphlets in 1842 to clarify his views of government. Like Pierce, Scott considers himself a “middle-of-the-road” moderate on Whig doctrine. He has promised to respect the Supreme Court and only veto legislation that he found unconstitutional. He has also promised to end the Jacksonian habit of political patronage and will turn the Executive Branch into a meritocracy, without consideration of political party. He supports high tariffs to protect American industry “against the half-starved labor of foreign countries” and either a restriction or prohibition on intoxicating spirits - which he has called “the bane and the curse of this land.” He dislikes secret societies but has vowed not to outlaw such groups. He has made no statements about American expansion and was silent on both Texas and Oregon during the Polk presidency.


Vice Presidential Nominee: William Alexander Graham
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Home State: North Carolina
  • Notable Positions: United States Secretary of the Navy, Governor of North Carolina, United States Senator from North Carolina, Speaker in the North Carolina House of Commons, Assemblyman in the North Carolina House of Commons
  • Biography: Born on September 5, 1904, Graham is a member of a wealthy slaveholding family that distinguished itself for the Patriot cause during the Revolution. Under the supervision of his father, Graham enjoyed rural life and learned the skills that he would one day need to manage his family’s large estate. In 1825, he was admitted to the bar and opened a successful law firm. From 1833 to 1840, Graham served in the North Carolina House of Commons with his brother, James Graham. For his successes, he was elected Governor and later, appointed to be Secretary of the Navy by Millard Fillmore. Though he knows very little about naval affairs, Graham has acted as a competent administrator and is widely respected within the federal government.
  • Platform: William Graham was brought onboard as Scott’s running mate to reassure Southerners who feared that the Old General might speak openly on the slavery issue or take action against the South. As the owner of three plantations, staffed entirely by slave labor, Graham is seen as a pillar of the Southern order and would oppose any decision that might endanger its practice in the future. He supported the Compromise of 1850 and has pushed the North to enforce the Fugitive Slave Law by arguing that the future of the Union is at stake. On all other issues, William Graham has made a career out of being a moderate. Originally elected in 1833 to support Clay’s American System, once elected Graham only advocated for a limited tariff and for internal improvements, when they benefited Southern interests. As a Senator, Graham was one of President Tyler’s few supporters and helped him formulate his plan to redistribute excess treasury funds to the states to create “a more dynamic and commercial North Carolina.” He has otherwise been a strong advocate for education, exploration, and history. He personally wrote a bill to finance an expedition of the Amazon Basin and hopes the United States will finance a similar expedition to Japan.


FREE SOIL PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: John Parker Hale
  • Party Affiliation: Free Soil Party
  • Home State: New Hampshire
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from New Hampshire, United States Representative from New Hampshire, United States Ambassador to Spain, Representative in the New Hampshire House of Representatives
  • Biography: John Parker Hale has earned his name as a reformer and New England radical. Born in Rochester, New Hampshire in 1806, Hale became known in his local community for his exceptional oratory and his strong devotion to the Jacksonian conception of democracy. Though he had always been loyal to the Democratic Party, and was appointed by Andrew Jackson to be U.S. District Attorney for New Hampshire, Hale turned against his former allies after gaining federal elected office. When President Polk instructed all Democrats to vote for Texan annexation, Hale vocally opposed the President over fears that it would expand slavery. For the next two years, Hale served as a vocal and independent voice for abolitionism, rising from the House to the Senate. He is among the most well-decorated activists in the country. His most prominent achievement, not related to slavery, is abolishing flogging as a punishment in the Navy and merchant marine.
  • Platform: While the two major parties have tried to gloss over the issue of slavery in hopes of quelling tensions, Hale and his fellow activists within the Free Soil Party have made the issue their rallying cry and declared slavery “a sin against God and a crime against man, which no human enactment nor usage can make right.” Hale has personally demanded that Congress accept no further slave territories, no new slave states, and reject all further “demands of the slave powers.” He has pushed to end the gag rule and has demanded that immediate steps be taken to ensure the abolition of slavery, consequences be damned. He has promised to repeal the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, as it is repugnant to the Constitution, as well as the Compromise of 1850. He opposes further American expansion as it will only be used as a gateway to empower slave interests. He wants the United States to recognize the Haitian government. On other issues, Hale remains a moderate New Englander. He supports minor internal improvement projects, particularly river and harbor improvements, to ensure the safe transit of commerce. He supports the independent treasury. He opposes the idea of granting private corporations the ability to hold land and has demanded that all land be owned by a particular individual.


Vice Presidential Nominee: George Washington Julian
  • Party Affiliation: Free Soil Party
  • Home State: Indiana
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from Indiana, Representative in the Indiana House of Representatives
  • Biography: George Washington Julian is a noted reform-minded politician, inspired by his Quaker upbringing to support causes like abolition and women's suffrage. A former public teacher, Julian was admitted to the bar in 1840 so that he could pursue his real passion, social reform. By the 1840s, he had achieved his dream of being elected to the Indiana Legislature, where he represented several large Quaker communities and wrote frequently in anti-slavery publications. As Indiana was pushed increasingly towards the South, Julian remained one of the few remaining voices of dissent. He encouraged Indiana to avoid cooperation with Southern interests and opposed any attempts to enforce the Fugitive Slave Act.
  • Platform: Julian is a zealous Quaker and the co-founder of the Free Soil Party. Believing slavery to be a moral sin, Julian strongly supported the Wilmot Proviso and has urged the North not to recognize the Compromise of 1850. Unlike other candidates, Julian wants the South to be punished for their actions and thinks the pro-slavery agitators should be charged with treason. He believes that the Fugitive Slave Law is unjust and that it should not be recognized. Above all else, he has urged that the country will take immediate steps to end slavery, with the hopes of one day granting blacks the right to vote. On other issues, he is a moderate Whig who leans Democrat on economic issues. Julian is known to oppose high protective tariffs, a national bank, and further expansion. He supports the independent treasury. He considers patronage a societal ill and wants strict regulation to ensure that individuals are appointed by merit. Though he supports women’s suffrage, he considers the plight of African Americans to be a much higher priority.


UNION PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Daniel Webster
  • Party Affiliation: Union Party
  • Home State: Massachusetts
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from New Hampshire, United States Representative from Massachusetts, United States Senator from Massachusetts,
  • Biography: Daniel Webster is one of the most famous orators and legislators in the country, standing with Clay and Calhoun as one of the most influential men in the country. Born in Salisbury, New Hampshire to a small farming family, Webster quickly distinguished himself in his community for his intense interest in law and education. He has been hailed as the leading constitutional scholar of his generation and has argued over 200 cases before the Supreme Court. He is also renowned for his public speaking ability and has won many over to the cause of nationalism through his speeches alone. Though raised an ardent Federalist, and one of the last remaining Federalists still in government in 1828, Webster left his old party to support John Quincy Adams and oppose Jackson and his run for the presidency. Once a beloved figure in the North, Webster’s reputation was permanently tarnished after he whipped votes to support the Compromise of 1850. He is now seen as a traitor of his native New England and widely despised by abolitionists. In October, he suffered a massive cerebral hemorrhage and died. His name remains on the ballot as a sad reminder of what once was.
  • Platform: As the Whig Party sways dangerously, pulled between its abolitionist Northern supporters and its pro-slavery Southern supports, the Union Party has earned the distinction of being the first official offshoot. A Southern-based party opposed to the radical Winfield Scott, several Whigs have nominated Daniel Webster, whom they perceived as a reasonable moderate on the slavery issue thanks to his support of the Compromise of 1850. Webster’s supporters saw him as a man who would moderate both the fire-eaters of the South and the abolitionists of the North. A man who would use his knowledge of parliamentary procedure to block radical proposals and ensure the solvency of the Union. Though Webster disapproved of the nomination, urging his compatriots to vote instead for Scott, he made no moves to stop people voting for him. Somewhat surprisingly, Webster died in October of a massive hemorrhage. His name remains on the ballot in several states thanks to a fluke in electoral law. His positions are irrelevant, because he is dead.


Vice Presidential Nominee: Charles Jones Jenkins
  • Party Affiliation: Union Party
  • Home State: Georgia
  • Notable Positions:
  • Biography: Jenkins is the popular Speaker of the House of Georgia and a well-read Southern legal scholar. The son of a wealthy Southern family who moved to Georgia in 1816, Jenkins opened his first law practice in Sandersville in 1826. After four years of practice, he launched a political career with an election to the state legislature as a States’ Rights Democrat. As the South agitated increasingly for secession, however, Jenkins switched his party affiliation to the Whig Party in hopes that this new party might contain the growing tensions. He served irregularly in the Assembly, but has been repeatedly nominated as the body’s Speaker. He is well-liked by both Southern Whigs and Democrats.
  • Platform: Jenkins is best known for authoring the Georgia Platform, a special Unionist proclamation that accepted the Compromise of 1850 while declaring that Georgia would accept no further assaults on its rights by Northern interests. Within the South, this is seen as a compromise position, in contrast with the radical “fire-eater” secessionist proposals of the Southern Rights Party. The North is free to do as it wants so long as it respects the slave-owning rights of the South. He hopes that the Georgia Platform will allow the South to cooperate with the federal government and sees secession, especially without Northern provocation, as a doomed experiment. In all other affairs, Jenkins is a moderate Whig. He opposes protectionist tariffs, supports the Independent Treasury, and is a strong believer in “popular sovereignty.” He supports minor internal improvements intended to improve commerce.

NATIVE AMERICAN PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Jacob Broom
  • Party Affiliation: Native American Party
  • Home State: Pennsylvania
  • Notable Positions: Clerk of the Philadelphia Orphans’ Court, Deputy Auditor of Pennsylvania
  • Biography: Jacob Broom is the son of former Congressman James Madison Broom, who was one of the country’s last Federalists, and grandson of Jacob Broom, Sr, a delegate to the United States Constitutional Convention. As the descendent of two prominent politicians, has enjoyed a mildly successful career. In 1819, his family moved to Philadelphia and he mingled with the upper echelons of Pennsylvania society. In 1832, he was admitted to the bar and opened his own law firm. He was then appointed deputy auditor of the state in 1840 and clerk of the Philadelphia Orphans’ Court in 1848. He is a quiet man, but vocal on the threats posed by the Catholic menace to society.
  • Platform: During their convention in October 1852, the Know-Nothings hoped they could ride the coattails of a prominent politician into the spotlight and nominated Daniel Webster. After Webster, unfortunately, died, the party was forced to hurriedly reconvene and select a new candidate, the party’s convention chairman Jacob Broom. Perhaps owing to this last-minute switch, Broom has made no effort to campaign and it is difficult to say what his views are. Instead, the Party has circulated several pamphlets explaining the party’s views on issues like immigration. The Native American Party hopes to deport any person “who recognizes allegiance or obligation of any description to any foreign prince, potentate, or power.” They further promise to stop any union between the Church and the state and will apprehend all those who threaten the sanctity of the Constitution. It is assumed that the party is referring directly to Catholics, particularly Catholics from Ireland, who are believed to be working on the orders of the Pope to undermine the United States. The party has also made a brief statement on the Compromise of 1850, calling it reckless and unwise, but not explaining in which direction they would change the law. Broom’s upbringing suggests that he is sympathetic with the North. The Know-Nothings oppose patronage and support reforms that will award positions based on merit.


Vice Presidential Nominee: Reynell Coates
  • Party Affiliation: Native American Party
  • Home State: New Jersey
  • Notable Positions: Physician, Scientist, Teacher, Poet
  • Biography: The youngest son of philanthropist Samuel Coates, Reynell distinguished himself from among his siblings for his proficiency in mathematics and language. A bright pupil with a voracious thirst for knowledge, Coates was sent to study medicine at Pennsylvania Hospital at the age of fifteen and served as the apprentice of Benjamin Rush, founding father and social reformer. With Rush’s help, Coates published a thesis on treating “fractures of inferior extremities” and was accepted as a resident physician. In 1823, he voyaged to India to study plants, animals, and insects, and to serve as a surgeon. After returning to the United States, he joined an expedition of the South Sea with Commodore Thomas. He is known for being exceptionally bright and inquisitive. He is an editor of Graham’s Magazine and writes poetry in his free time. Most of his poems concern the ills of drinking, Christian virtue, or the Catholic Problem.
  • Platform: During their original nominating convention, the Know-Nothings hoped to bolster the candidacy of Daniel Webster by selecting George C. Washington, grandnephew of George Washington, as Webster’s running mate. After Webster died, however, George C. Washington pulled out of the convention and refused to accept the nomination. As a result, the Native-Americans have nominated Reynell Coates, author of the party’s national address in 1844. Following the Philadelphia Riots of 1844, disillusionment with the Whig Party and anger at the growing number of Catholics led Coates to articulate the goals of the Know-Nothing Movement. He wrote that the country must stop the rapid influx of foreigners into the country and stop the widespread voter fraud that these immigrants allowed. He wants to strengthen existing Naturalization Laws, claiming that current laws are “a mere dead letter.” He has written about the need to teach the Bible in public schools and to deport all non-Protestants “using the odious ships that brought them across the Atlantic.” He opposes patronage and the Compromise of 1850, though it is not known what specifically he would replace it with.

SOUTHERN RIGHTS NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: George McIntosh Troup
  • Party Affiliation: Southern Rights Party
  • Home State: Georgia
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from Georgia, Governor of Georgia, United States Representative from Georgia
  • Biography: The so-called “Hercules of states’ rights,” Troup is wildly popular among the Southern aristocracy for his deep-throated defenses of slavery against increasing Northern pressure. Born during the American Revolution and a descendant of Creek Chief William McIntosh, Troup grew up on his family’s estate, Valdosta, where he enjoyed all the pleasures of Southern life. After graduating from the College of New Jersey in 1797, Troup returned to his home in Georgia and entered politics. There, he acted as a strong opponent of the Yazoo claims land scandal. After a successful term in office, he was elected to the United States House of Representatives, where he joined with Henry Clay and John C. Calhoun in supporting American expansion. He was known as a War Hawk. In 1819, Governor William Crawford hand-picked Troup as his successor, despite the former’s dislike of slavery. As a Governor, Troup oversaw the forced removals of the Creek Indians from Georgia. When John Quincy Adams expressed alarm at the brutality of Troup’s actions, Troup threatened to have his state militia attack federal troops and personally threatened the life of the President. Since leaving office, Troup has been an advocate for public education.
  • Platform: The Southern Rights Party is a radical Southern party that advocates secession from the Union via referendum. Led by George Troup, the so-called “Hercules of states’ rights,” the Southern Rights see the Union as a rapidly disintegrating nation and hope to build a country that will respect the peculiar institution of slavery. Troup sees the abolitionists as an insidious force that will try to free the slaves at any cost and fears for his own safety. However, he personally supports Franklin Pierce for the Presidency and sees him as the best guard against Northern extravagance. Only under his watch can the South conduct its referendums safely. On other issues, Troup is an avid supporter of Manifest Destiny policies and believes that the United States should expand wherever possible. He believes that the Native Americans are an inferior people and supports further Indian removals to ensure they do not interfere with white settlers. He supports public education and believes the United States should fund a national network of roads and canals.


Vice Presidential Nominee: John Anthony Quitman
  • Party Affiliation: Southern Rights Party
  • Home State: Mississippi
  • Notable Positions: Governor of Mississippi, Military Governor of Mexico City, Acting Governor of Mississippi, President of the Mississippi Senate, Chancellor of Mississippi, Representative in the Mississippi House of Representatives
  • Biography: Among his friends, Quitman is known as the “Old South Crusader,” a defender of Southern liberty and pride, even if that it destroys the solvency of the Union. A former Northerner who moved South after gaining wealth, Quitman has sought to emulate the Southern aristocracy through his career. In 1826, he purchased Monmouth Plantation, an extensive manor along the Mississippi River. In the same year, he was elected to the Mississippi House of Representatives where he urged the government to take action against the native tribes living within the state’s borders. After a brief stint in the Mississippi Senate, Quitman joined the Mexican-American War, where he served under Zachary Taylor. Commander of the southern assault during the Battle of Chapultepec, Quietman received the surrender from the Mexican Government. After General Scott left Mexico, Quitman oversaw the American occupation. Interestingly, he is the only American to ever rule Mexico from the National Palace. Based on his conduct in the Mexican-American War, Quitman has been overwhelming elected Governor of Mississippi.
  • Platform: John Quitman is one of the nation’s leading “Fire-Eaters,” a group of extremist pro-slavery Southern Democrats who have urged the slave states to come together to form a nation separate from the United States of America. A strong believer in the moral goodness of slavery, Quitman has spent his career articulating the grievances of Southern plantation owners and blocking Northern attempts to dissolve the institution. He believes that the international slave trade should be reopened, that slavery should be expanded wherever possible, and that secession is the only way to achieve these goals. The differences between the North and South are irreconcilable and the longer the South remains in the Union, the greater the chance of bloodshed. Quitman is not attached to either the Democratic or Whig Parties and has flittered between the two groups throughout his career. He is an avid proponent of the military, believing that the states should expand and modernize their militias. In 1850, he provided men and material to Narciso Lopez, who wanted to liberate Cuba from Spain. Though the effort failed, and Quitman was charged with violating the Neutrality Law of 1817, he remains committed to liberating territories owned by imperial powers.

Quorum
Sep 24, 2014

REMIND ME AGAIN HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE?
Oh god I'm so torn between TROUP *click* and voting for the very last zombie Federalist.

CuwiKhons
Sep 24, 2009

Seven idiots and a bear walk into a dragon's lair.

QuoProQuid posted:

In Spring, Taylor met personally with a group of Southern representatives who threatened secession if their interests were not satisfied. Taylor responded by promising to hang them all and personally lead an army into the South.

Rip in peace Zack Taylor, a true American hero :911:

Anyway, I'm voting for Webster because he's dead and that inherently makes him a better politician than most of these fucks.

fantastic in plastic
Jun 15, 2007

The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.
TROUP!

*click*

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




Hale/Julian '52.

Takanago
Jun 2, 2007

You'll see...
I was really excited for a moment when I read the name "Native American Party" but then incredibly dismayed when I read the actual description. :sigh:

Jump King
Aug 10, 2011

I mean i guess we should vote free soil, but we've already abolished slavery like 6 times. IDK, is there another fun party to vote for? I guess the dead guy.

UrbicaMortis
Feb 16, 2012

Hmm, how shall I post today?

Kind of tempted to vote Southern Rights just to have an insanely ahistorical swing to right instead of left this time.

SpRahl
Apr 22, 2008

MMM Whatchya Say posted:

I mean i guess we should vote free soil, but we've already abolished slavery like 6 times. IDK, is there another fun party to vote for? I guess the dead guy.

We should have voted for Zach "hang the South" Taylor last election. Dead dude is definitely the comedy option though. This and the elections after it probably are not ones you want to consider for getting away from slavery politics since it seems everyone is either making it a central issue of their campaign or trying to be as blank a state as possible and have little to no actual platform that could potentially piss one side off.

QuoProQuid posted:

Presidential Nominee: Daniel Webster His positions are irrelevant, because he is dead.
If only someone had told the republicans that about Reagan. Also any samples of Reynell Coates poetry? Poetry on the Catholic problem sound like they'd be hilarious but then again probably not.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Very disappointed to find that William Rufus Devane King is not related to Rufus King or William Devane.

Jump King
Aug 10, 2011

UrbicaMortis posted:

Kind of tempted to vote Southern Rights just to have an insanely ahistorical swing to right instead of left this time.

Yeah, I mean, why not? Also Quitman is kind of a funny name?

It would still probably start a civil war for what it's worth.

Southern Rights

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

Dumb political question(s): the national bank. It seems like Jackson's opposition to it is one of his major policy victories, because people are still wittering on about it decades later. Was it a giveaway for the 18th century .01%? Because it sounded sorta like a very sensible infrastructure improvement project and a bunch of people flipped out because "STATES RIGHTS" or some such. Also, did the bank's closure cause all sorts of economic fuckery, or was this America being all bubblicious without any external regulation?

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QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Lycus posted:

My only minor suggestion for QuoProQuid is to indicate people who became president via succession in the list in the OP, like Ellmaker.

Done.

If there are any other recommendations for the OP, let me know.

Takanago posted:

I was really excited for a moment when I read the name "Native American Party" but then incredibly dismayed when I read the actual description. :sigh:

Well, there is one candidate this cycle with ties to the Creek Indians. I wouldn't actually read his platform, but I'm sure he's fine.

SpRahl posted:

Also any samples of Reynell Coates poetry? Poetry on the Catholic problem sound like they'd be hilarious but then again probably not.

"The Drunkard's Child" is supposed to be one of his anti-Catholic pieces, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere. You can, however, read some of his short stories and short works of prose in Graham's Magazine, Volumes 20-21. He was published alongside Edgar Allen Poe.

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