|
Cathode Raymond is now the manager of Jameson the Unruly habituallyred got a password reset sent via e-mail and is now the manager of Tyler Durden is Hobbes I R SMART LIKE ROCK is now the manager of Uma Thurman --- Dontellim Pike is still available for adoption. Perhaps our newest participant, aerion111, would like to adopt him?
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 09:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 18:20 |
|
|
Thank you very much for the password reset. I am honored to take over a fighter with a winning record. Let me assure my competitors that Hobbes is back and ready to rock. Hobbes is undefeated in the arena, by most accounts. Anyone reporting his defeat is talking about Tyler Durden, a completely different fighter.
habituallyred fucked around with this message at 10:07 on Mar 7, 2016 |
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 09:59
|
|
|
habituallyred posted:Hobbes is undefeated in the arena, by most accounts. Anyone reporting his defeat is talking about Tyler Durden, a completely different fighter. Commissioners arent smart enough to remember a name change.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 12:38
|
|
|
Spermy Smurf posted:Commissioners arent smart enough to remember a name change.  Tyler Durden is Hobbes.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 13:21
|
|
|
Added Space posted:Buy a helmet pls k thx real gladiators enter the battlefield nude genitals exposed for all the world to see for greater glory
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 14:11
|
|
|
LorrdErnie posted:real gladiators enter the battlefield nude Plus it's just easier when you fight Panty Thief. The end result is the same, but without the shame of being undressed by a yeti.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 14:46
|
|
|
Spermy Smurf posted:Plus it's just easier when you fight Panty Thief. The end result is the same, but without the shame of being undressed by a yeti. If I'd been wearing pants I would've been stripped out of them before being tossed and broken across the arena! Gloves might've stopped my hands from breaking though I suppose...
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 14:49
|
|
|
Splode posted:I don't know why you keep blaming your team for tash being garbage It has to be said, looking at the statistics in the cold light of day, there is truth in this. You see this Apeliminator guy? So terrible it took eleven goes against a total of 44 opponents before killing one? The laughingstock of the thread? He has as many kills now as Tash.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 15:17
|
|
|
 Round 11, Fight 3 Worker Cooperative is on the left side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a bronze scourge and wears no armor. Jameson the Unruly (Cathode Raymond) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, leather armor, leather leggings, bronze gauntlets, and leather low boots. Worse Munki is on the right side of the arena. Experiment Twenty-Two (fallingdownjoe) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron long sword and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt. Strangler Than Fiction (Tunicate) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, a platinum mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and copper low boots. SRIRACHA FARTSTORM RETURNS (Pittsburgh Lambic) is a male elf. He wields a silver war hammer and wears leather leggings and leather high boots. Chaz Steadyfist (Segway Rave) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a silver helm, leather armor, leather leggings, and leather gauntlets.  Worker Cooperative is a 1.01 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 6597.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 6518.00 dwarfbucks for Worse Munki.  No archers, so it's just a brawl in the middle.  There is some light bruising and dodging followed by Experiment 22 getting into the thick of things. The tigerman slashes Unthrottle in the left arm, tearing apart muscles and opening arteries, but that left him exposed to Combat Liberalism who attacks from the side and cuts his achilles. Experiment 22 falls to the floor in pain.  Jameson feels like he's got something to prove, but Chaz beats him to the punch and halberds the humans left bicep. SRIRACHA swings his hammer (hammer?) and bruises Jamesons kidney in the same second. A second swing from the elf breaks Jamesons hand, and the human drops his sword. Albrik and Strangler are dueling all alone, with Albrik winning by a landslide. Stranglers right leg from the knee down goes flying through the air. Unthrottle takes a moment to lash Experiment 22 in the leg, breaking the bone and sending the huge tiger into dreamland.  Jameson has had enough of the bullshit 2v1 (bottom left), and so he runs north hoping for some backup from Unthrottle. Albrik continues to hack Strangler with abandon. Feet, chest, head... whatever, it's all getting hacked. Strangler does the only thing he can do... he bites Albrik from the ground and shakes the kobold so hard that he tore the ACL and MCL of the little guy. Albrik is now grounded as well. Combat Liberalism can't get through Experiment 22's helmet.  SRIRACHA and Chaz arrive chasing Jameson. It would have been nice if Jameson told Unthrottle he was coming. As it is, Unthrottle is first made aware as SRIRACHA'S mace shatters his spine. The little kobold is paralyzed and falls to the floor. Chaz gets the kill after taking off his leg. Poor Unthrottle has been chopped in half. Meanwhile: Combat still can't get through the helmet of the unconscious tiger. Albrik is being shaken around by Strangler, and now Albrik is in great pain with a broken foot.  Chaz and SRIRACHA catch up to Jameson and begin beating on him again. Jameson is floored with a broken foot from SRIRACHA. Albrik is saved from his biting foe by blood loss.  SRIRACHA kicks Jameson in the eye, collapsing the socket, and then moves to fight the downed Albrik. Chaz chops off Jamesons hand, then his lungs. Chaz finally takes his head.  Albrik is exhausted and can barely swing his axe. The axe penetrates SRIRACHAS leather armor with ease multiple times, but barely scratches the skin and fat. SRIRACHA pounds away at the exhausted kobold on the ground. Combat Liberalism has had like 5 uninterrupted minutes to kill Experiment 22 but failed. Chaz swings his halberd and kobold intestines spill across the floor. That's the first conscious opponent Combat has faced since the opening blows and it doesn't go very well so far.  Combat Liberalism dodges back and then stabs twice in rapid succession. Chaz's left bicep and left forearm are broken and chopped wide open. Chaz drops his halberd and then passes out from the pain. Combat Liberalism stands in a pile of his own intestines, but victory is within his grasp if he can just kill two unconscious opponents and then the bumbling unblooded down below. SRIRACHA takes his time tormenting Albrik before smushing his head. SRIRACHA GOT A KILL The elf stands up and celebrates for a bit. Combat Liberalism dies from the blood pumping from his gaping stomach wound during the celebration. Worse Munki pulls out a very close 4-1 victory. Kills: Chaz Steadyfist: 3 SRIRACHA: 1 Albrik: 1 Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Mar 7, 2016 |
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 18:03
|
|
|
Looks like you have an extra square bracket in the combat log url. Anyway, Worse Munki roar back ahead in the kill charts, a frankly terrifying 39 kills out of a possible 44. Chaz Steadyfist has an amazing 20 kills, five entire teams' worth of skulls collected.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 18:09
|
|
|
There is a very real possibility when you step in the ring with Panty Thief that he will steal your armor and beat you with it until you have brain damage.
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 18:22
|
|
|
Spermy Smurf posted:
 My management career has brought me nothing but sadness.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 18:25
|
|
|
Not a good round for me. Maybe Lightly Whipped can pull out a surprise win? No
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:14
|
|
|
So is there going to be a bonus round at the end of the tournament where all the remaining unblooded are thrown into a battle royale for one final shot at
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:19
|
|
|
Yvonmukluk posted:So is there going to be a bonus round at the end of the tournament where all the remaining unblooded are thrown into a battle royale for one final shot at They deserve no such thing, they are the unblooded.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:26
|
|
|
Ramc posted:There is a very real possibility when you step in the ring with Panty Thief that he will steal your armor and beat you with it until you have brain damage. That is in fact the reason behind his name. I noticed during testing that wrestling yetis have a habit of stealing bits of armour from their opponents, and then due to being huge and their opponent now being unarmoured they have a pretty decent shot at beating them to death with their own trousers.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:31
|
|
|
All unblooded should be forced to fight an endless horde of undead until they all succumb.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:43
|
|
|
All unblooded should die forgotten and umemorialized, their restless shades haunting the arena as a salutary warning to all gladiators to actually be able to fight.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 19:48
|
|
|
Alternative idea: All-Star team of the killiest Gladiators vs. all remaining unblooded at the end of the tournament. Can the worst gladiators beat the best by weight of numbers? Probably not. Actually are there still more of the shameful nameless than a regular team?
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 20:27
|
|
|
Round 11, Fight 7 A furry, a farmer, and two cows is on the left side of the arena. Goku (Galick) is a male tigerman. He wields a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Dontellim Pike (John Charity Spring) is a male human. He wields an iron pike and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Min/Maxotaur (Anchors) is a female minotaur. She wields a copper large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears a copper helm, two copper mail shirts, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male minotaur. He wields an iron two-handed sword and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, copper gauntlets, and leather high boots. Lightly Whipped is on the right side of the arena. Ghost-trees (jon joe) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper flail and a wooden buckler and wears a copper mail shirt. Trump's Viscous Discharge (goatface) is a female minotaur. She is empty handed and wears a bronze helm and a bronze mail shirt. Grimmik (FillInTheBlank) is a male gremlin. He wields an iron whip and wears a steel helm. Jupis Tooki McGannel (GreyPowerVan) is a male strangler. He wields a copper crossbow and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm and a copper mail shirt.  A furry, a farmer, and two cows is a 1.55 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2369.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1527.00 dwarfbucks for Lightly Whipped.  Let me start this fight by saying that a quarter of the way through I was praying for death. My death. I was 150 lines of combat in and only two fighters had taken hits. Maybe when I go through the event log I'll notice more, but god drat. Halfway through I was tempted to just unpause it and then tell you all I lost the pictures and just post "The winner is XXX. No writeup, gently caress you." I'm still tempted to do that. I just want to set the tone, so you all know my care level is exactly zero writing this. If you manage a fighter on either of these teams then you should be ashamed of yourselves, and I believe each and every one of you owe me an apology. That being said: Welcome to the shitshow.  We start off with a succession of blows, this fight looks like it's going to be a bloodbath! Goku punches Ghost-Trees in the left hand and the molemans hand explodes into pieces. At the same time Dontellim stabs his pike at Ghost-Trees and the molemans front foot goes flying off. Trump decides to bite Goku's face, and tears off the tigers nose. Ghost-Trees retaliates and crushes Goku's eye with his flail. This is looking pretty bloody right? This'll be over quick!  Everyone loving stuns themselves. Grimmik lashes Goku's right hand, fracturing the bone.  The screenshot doesn't show Gokus hand broken and I don't know why. From what I saw a slightly bruised tiger fell over for no loving reason. Want to know what really happened? Jupis_WHIP scratches Goku_FF in the head, bruising the muscle through the large cow leather cap! So a helmeted tiger got scratched by a strangler and checked out. No one else has done anything (2 fighters with injuries) and I'm beginning to hate my decision to run this fight.  Grimmik and Jupis begin whipping for all they are worth at the downed Goku. His skull is fracturedd and 40 lines of combat later his skull is shattered by Jupis. Min/Max chases Ghost-Trees, stabbing him in the arm. The moleman is faint from losing his leg earlier. Ghost-Trees is being charge-stunned over and over, that's the only way he's moving across the arena.... Min/Max continues to charge him and scoot him around the floor.  Finally, someone else is injured! Dontellim stabs Trump in the forearm, tearing his muscle and loving his nerves up.  Rob Ford gangs up on Trump and chops into his leg with his sword. Trump passes out from pain. Dontellim plants his pike in his brain moments later. But but but... the fight is progressing nicely, you think to yourself. Sit back and watch, idiot.  Ghost Trees stands up. Gets knocked down. Stands up. Stunned. Gets knocked down. Gets a dagger in his head. Gets knocked down. Dagger in the tail. Stands up. Rob Ford gets his arm broken from someone. Grimmik? gently caress it, I'm not scrolling back through this poo poo.  The sun sets, no one does a loving thing and I contemplate making ZeeToo run the loving fight and pretend I never did this. Stupid loving Ghost-Trees wont die and everyone else is a bumbling retard. Ugh.  A few moments later Jupis bashes Rob Fords toe (the third one Jupis has crushed) and Rob Ford passes out. Dontellim Pike finally gets a decent blow against Jupis and one of the stranglers arms goes flying.  We cross over to day 2 and Ghost-Trees bleeds to death. Min/Max can finally help his teammates.  Min/Max makes just two steps before Jupis is killed by Dontellim Pikes pike. Holy poo poo that wasn't so bad, you think to yourself. It's 3v1 now, 2v1 if you don't count the unconscious guy. And the only one alive is Grimmik, a gremlin. He'll bleed out if anyone touches him with something sharp. This will be over quick. Spermy is being a drama queen again. gently caress you. I know you're all thinking it. You go ahead and press the period key on your keyboard 509 times in a row. Go ahead, I'll wait. Oh, and take screenshots and check the reports in between.  Hold still you little poo poo.  Seriously, this is not funny. Just stop moving and die already. The sun is coming up on day 2 in the loving arena. Just end it already.  Still not even loving hurt. He's tired finally, but not a god drat scratch.  WOOOOOO DONTELLIM PIKE STABBED HIM IN THE STOMACH AND SPILLED HIS INTESTINES. THIS poo poo IS OVER.  You seriously couldn't get a kill? He loving bled to death? Dontellim gets it. A furry, a farmer, and two cows won the teenage girl slapfight. Kills: Dontellim: 3 Min/Max: 1 Jupis: 1 Combat Log
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 20:52
|
|
|
I'm not sorry.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 21:16
|
|
|
Only two days? You big baby. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 21:27
|
|
|
Dontellim Pike, the only fighter in the tournament up for adoption, makes a case for a new manager, his hattrick making him the most deadly fighter in that match. He has 5 kills. Everyone on both teams is terrible. Two unblooded entered that arena. They died without hurting anyone. Someone asked earlier if there were more unblooded than would fit in a team. The answer is no, now that Apeliminator earned his name. You could take the shittiest half of Lightly Whipped and the most terrible half of This bites and combine them to make the most diabolically pathetic team of nameless wastes of space in history.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 22:04
|
|
|
How many points are allocated per round?
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:07
|
|
|
AJ_Impy posted:Someone asked earlier if there were more unblooded than would fit in a team. The answer is no, now that Apeliminator earned his name. I'm so proud. I'm so proud.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:37
|
|
|
AJ_Impy posted:It has to be said, looking at the statistics in the cold light of day, there is truth in this. You see this Apeliminator guy? So terrible it took eleven goes against a total of 44 opponents before killing one? The laughingstock of the thread? She's blooded, that's all that's important  I built to tank, I do that. I'll keep people busy for a bit, not my fault the rest of my team (goblin excepted) built for leisure 
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:47
|
|
|
tithin posted:She's blooded, that's all that's important We don't have any goblins.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:49
|
|
|
3giab - your character Also fwiw, I've never actually played DF before, as I said back when we were planning our characters
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:53
|
|
|
tithin posted:3giab - your character Ah, the Strangler, Three Gremlins. It's all good, in any case I blame Bad Munki (Coward) for not ducking.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2016 23:58
|
|
|
Jesus christ we're only on round 11 of 18.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 00:03
|
|
|
SynthOrange posted:Jesus christ we're only on round 11 of 18. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 00:28
|
|
|
Just put all the combatants into the arena simultaneously, whoever survives is the winner.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 03:48
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:Just put all the combatants into the arena simultaneously, whoever survives is the winner. In an amazing come from behind victory, Ghost-trees...
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 03:58
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:Just put all the combatants into the arena simultaneously, whoever survives is the winner. They would all just gang up on Jameson  I want everyone on Worse Munki to know that I consider your gladiators' conduct in that last fight unsportsmanlike and I hope they get their sponsorships revoked. Also, congratulations Apeliminator for proving that you might not be completely terrible.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 04:01
|
|
|
Okay, 0 for 18 is looking like a real possibility now for Lightly Whipped 
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 05:13
|
|
|
Yeah. The mid-stream horse-jumping isn't taking as well as it might.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 05:28
|
|
|
Maybe if one of them had at least jumped ship to an edged weapon. Maybe they might bleed someone out.
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 06:07
|
|
|
It was almost worth us getting smooshed just to bring this much happiness to alcharagia.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 06:14
|
|
|
I tried to get the kobold to upgrade to a sword but nooooo!
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 06:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 18:20 |
|
|
Why mess with a winning strategy? Lightly Whipped has the best streak in arena history going. It would be a terrible shame to break it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2016 06:27
|
|
