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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

drat Dirty Ape posted:

Imagine seeing wing commander through Ben's eyes.

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Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo
I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:



https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/321447/dreaming-of-2-3-0

Whole thread is comedy gold on what they expect to make it in for 2.3

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx
reminder that Ben literally cried when he saw the Gary Oldman speech.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





orcinus posted:

Do a barrel parp.



"You listen to me, god damnit! I don't care what game you're from! In this Banu Merchantman my comically oversized cat tits will do as they please!"

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015






:roflolmao:


Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

god drat dude, :five:

SomethingJones
Mar 6, 2016

<3

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

Please can I have this

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

D1E posted:

Serious question: how did we ever believe in Chris Roberts' bullshit?

I was in for $175 before getting refunded, and looking back on it physically pains me. I can't fathom how I ever bought into the whole scam.

At least I can console myself that I wasn't dumb enough to spend thousands.

LOL.

Nobody knows the next time they're gonna be wrong.

intardnation
Feb 18, 2016

I'm going to space!

:gary: :yarg:

Sedisp posted:

It's very blurry.

and brown, kinda like a sea.

Damn Dirty Ape
Jan 23, 2015

I love you Dr. Zaius



That was some pretty good posting for a bunch of salty asshat goons.

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

Username change, please.

intardnation
Feb 18, 2016

I'm going to space!

:gary: :yarg:

A Neurotic Jew posted:

reminder that Ben literally cried when he saw the Gary Oldman speech.

Is that a joke?

Iridium
Apr 4, 2002

Wretched Harp
This has nothing to do with Star Citizen but due to the title vs. the content it's likely to have some really loving fun comments in about half an hour.

Star Citizen Science: Do Real Science In EVE Online

Iridium fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Mar 9, 2016

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

SomethingJones posted:

Please can I have this

It's yours if someone manages to optimize it down to avatar size

I dunno how or if it's possible at all

Chairman Wao
Mar 5, 2013

go star

intardnation posted:

Is that a joke?

We can say for sure he was probably sweating profusely when he saw it.

But that's pretty normal.

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

Ok fine, you win, not that i'm bitter at all *slams door on way out*

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015








Made a picture to show the World my Excitement about the COMBAT READY GLADIUS!

e: holy poo poo the RSI fanart subforum is a goldmine.

LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010

Today I'm... amped up!

Beet Wagon posted:



My paarps shall rend the very cosmos

These people in real life are probably overweight nerds who bought into that HOTASS scam and are installing (poorly, probably) bedpans into the bottom of their elite PC chair so they never have to move again once the real Star Citizen is released.

Little do they know that they will never move again once the real Star Citizen is released because they already died of old age.

Eonwe posted:

to be fair to you guys, Kickstarter was not an obvious site to scam nerds at the time of the star citizen kickstarter, and there hadn't been a lot of high profile kickstarter failures

it was only when poo poo started to fail and people realized that publishers actually force games to get finished and that giving money to ideas guys with no strings attached is a terrible idea

A good post.

This just reminds me that one thing we often forget is that, out of common courtesy (because you never know when you will work with them again) most people don't speak ill of others within an industry. So while Crobber had a poo poo reputation within the gaming industry, particularly with publishers, for his inability to deliver anything within scope, time, or budget the general public is more or less unaware of this reputation because it's not common knowledge shared with outsiders.

Kickstarter was the perfect platform from Crobber to side-step the people with the money who drat well know he can't deliver and directly appeal to people who have no idea he can't deliver.

Probably a good rule of thumb is to treat Kickstarter like an investment - never, ever put money into it that you need and only put in what you can afford to lose.

It is very sad that there are a ton of people on disability who are literally putting money that they need into Crobber's pocket so he can go blow it all on blow his Hollywood dreams.

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

intardnation posted:

Is that a joke?

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

D1E posted:

Serious question: how did we ever believe in Chris Roberts' bullshit?

I was in for $175 before getting refunded, and looking back on it physically pains me. I can't fathom how I ever bought into the whole scam.

At least I can console myself that I wasn't dumb enough to spend thousands.

LOL.

In my case it was a slow, progressive burn.

First I joined in the KS for around $35. Seemed like a good idea, game was promising, $35 for two games from a guy who I remembered fondly seemed like a good idea. I upped the donation to around $100 in June of the following year. The progress I had seen from CIG was pretty good and I figured it was worth it because I liked the appeal of a completely crowdfunded game. A few months later I got a subscription mostly because I wanted to get 104TC questions answered. I'd say that was worth the hilarity. At the same time I helped a lot of other spergs get ships and made a bunch of cash on tips. Three years later my total spent was around $600, most of which was subscription fees and all of which I had made back by selling other ships.

For me the belief was in Chris Robert's vision tempered by the professional work of guys like Eric Peterson, Erin Roberts, and Rob Irving. The original web show done by CIG was Wingman's Hangar and it was hosted by Eric and Rob. They provided concise, thoughtful answers on a wide variety of topics and didn't shy away from discussing the challenges. Then CIG cancelled their show, they left the program, and we've been listening to CR make poo poo up ever since.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

Goddamnit, I spend literally seconds finding and using a website to apply a blur filter to a screenshot, and you show me up by making some actual effort. Well done, but also drat you. :five:

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe
Roberts' contribution to the AMD Mantle discussion:

The Saddest Robot
Apr 17, 2007

quote:

Here are all the things that we need to have to make the game (air quotes) RELEASED, uhm, which is... I... probably not in a position to share that right now

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

It's yours if someone manages to optimize it down to avatar size

I dunno how or if it's possible at all

paging Mr. Tophat...

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

In my case it was a slow, progressive burn...

Then CIG cancelled their show, they left the program, and we've been listening to CR make poo poo up ever since.

SomethingJones: can you please do a transcript from the earliest historical 10FTC you can find with answers from Chris Roberts?

I'm curious if his speaking skills have deteriorated over time. And also whether he constantly answered questions directly from his own rear end.

Sushi in Yiddish
Feb 2, 2008

SomethingJones posted:

From 10 for the Chairman: Episode 77
Feb 29, 2016 @ 02:29


Q: What type of work is being done to increase the server population capacity? Should we expect to see 24 or 32 player instances in the near future?

A: The answer to that is ABSOLUTELY, I think, ah, if you've been watching some of the chatter on the recent, ah, PTU RELEASES, and, ah, you know, what's gonna be in 2.2... eh, it is, ah, gonna be 24 players, so we've been working, ah, ah, HARD on sort of optimizing areas so we can sort of scale more, I think I've mentioned before that the, you know, the biggest issue that we have is uhm, uh, just the overhead that the ships have because they're very complicated, they have multiple... items that have all this functionality, they need to talk to each other over the network... they're attached to SHIPS, a ship isn't just one entity you know, in the case of a HORNET it can be fifty or sixty, in the case of a BIGGER ship it's a lot more than... fifty or sixty, so they're very heavy, ah, sort of PROCESSING WISE and the SERVER in terms of just SIMULATION and also in... in network, um, sort of TRAFFIC... So, in general, that's, em, you know, more the limiting... FACTOR which... we've been WORKING ON, so we're... we're REFACTORING a lot of things to... make it much more, ah, SMART about when it has to UPDATE, ah, and all the other things and that sort of ties into the work that we've done in the past on the ZONE SYSTEM, we're doing sort of a, uh, whatever you wanna call it, a NETWORK LOD and an UPDATE LOD that sort of scopes depending on, you know, whether you can SEE THINGS, how FAR AWAY they are, whether they are ACTIVE, whether it's another PLAYER, whether it's relevant to YOU and... so hopefully all that stuff em, you know, helps... increase the load that we can do and we're doing things like we're... we're... you know, pushing more and more into MULTIPLE CORES, more... MULTI-THREADING to, you know, be able to do more... you know... PHYSICS PROCESSING at the same time as we're doing more sort of entity updating and simulation. So ehm you know, part of the benef... part of the result of that is moving to more players in, eh, CRUSADER, we'll continue and we're expecting to continue to sort of push that over time, eh, to get more and more and uh, you know we're actually working on... some ah, BACK END SERVER MESH TECH uhm, that will allow us to ah, sort of MESH A LOT MORE... players all in essentially what will be kind of sort of the same, ah, INSTANCE, uhm so but that's sort of ah, you know a LITTLE further along, but, eh, it's ahh... yeah, I think EXCITING so I think we'll be able to DELIVER probably more players than we were thinking originally... in concurrent areas... ah... so... when I think, actually there's a question about that so... I maybe talk a bit more about it then...

These are hilarious and damming Something Jones. Thank you for subjecting yourself to this poo poo.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo
gently caress it, I'll make a new, less fidelitous one for you, mr Jones

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

MedicineHut posted:

Are you sure, I d swear there are tons of issues that are being correctly displayed and voted for etc? Unless I am reading it wrong?

Positive. It's not all of the issues, but 4 out of the 5 I have bookmarked say 'expired' and the clock is counting up, 1 of which is the one that was 'fixed' (added 2 days to timer, which counted out and repeated cycle) and one is my own.
Strangely they are all controls related, which has proven CIG's most touchy and inept subject (controls Katamari eclipses anything else on the forum, even LTI).

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/community/issue-council/star-citizen-alpha/SC-8996-Vjoy_implementation_is_bugged -this one said '13 days' when I posted it 3 days ago...

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





I think this one is my favorite because they don't really explain how it's related to Star Citizen (I guess it's supposed to be the cockpit of a starfarer?) but they make sure to put holes in the space suits where ears and horns and deer-wings come out of. And there's a dog. But not a person dog, like a dog dog. I don't know, there's a lot going on here.




Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

gently caress it, I'll make a new, less fidelitous one for you, mr Jones

Can't you just like... squish down the file size or something? I clearly know nothing about how gif development works.

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe
Wings in SPAAAAAaaaAACEEE!

*eye pops*

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CvUjuFRris

Sedisp
Jun 20, 2012


Beet Wagon posted:

I think this one is my favorite because they don't really explain how it's related to Star Citizen (I guess it's supposed to be the cockpit of a starfarer?) but they make sure to put holes in the space suits where ears and horns and deer-wings come out of. And there's a dog. But not a person dog, like a dog dog. I don't know, there's a lot going on here.





Oh man. That anatomy is fantastically bad. So is the perspective. It's perfect.

SomethingJones
Mar 6, 2016

<3
From Reverse the Verse:
March 4th, 2016

Q: Ben, MASTER OF SHIPS, where's my ENDEAVOUR?

A: Ah, Endeavour is much further down in the schedule so not, not (mumble mumble mumble)

Q: How 'bout that JAVELIN?

A: JAVELIN is actually put together by folks in the UK right now, um, so that is, uh, I should stress it's being put together for Squadron 42, it's, we're not gonna see the JAVELIN in Arena Commander tomorrow, but ah it is, it is getting it's ah... getting it... it... zzztt... buh... putting... putting...

Q: How 'bout that HULL SERIES?

A: HULL SERIES duh, no, it's more further down the line, ah, we'll hit the HULL A first and then build up from there, but, ah, ah, so it's scheduled but not... today

Q: RECLAIMER? Folks like that salvage.

A: So same story for all these, scheduled but not...

Q: Yeah there's a reason I avoided them last time...

A: Probably what we should do in this segment is tell people what ships ARE in development right now

Q: We did that last week though, we can't just do the same thing every week?

A: Yeah I mean yeah ships don't change every week but I mean we could say, ah, I, we could talk-about-some-of-the-changes we had an artist who is moving... ah... the folks who were working on the Xi'An SCOUT moved onto the HERALD, uhm which ah... (looks behind camera for help), s'good thing, uhm, mmmmmeanwhile tech...tech folks are working on the Xi'An SCOUT getting it flyable right now... ah what else... ahhh... RELIANT is getting hangar... hangar-ified... ah the BENGAL, bunch of people moved over to the BENGAL cos we need it for some scenes in SQUADRON, ahhhh huh huh... ah, we just got the concepts in for our ah, SMALL MINING SHIP, um I can't say much more about it, it's one of those ones you'll see it in the vault someday, it'll look nothing like what came out today, but ah... I liked it... Um, Chris Roberts had more changes than I did.

Risc1911
Mar 1, 2016

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:


So what's missing/at risk to meeting that timeline?

-how much of the cutscenes are completed? We hear a lot about the ship design pipeline because that's what people actually care about, but Chris probably would LOVE to talk about this. We know a bunch of mocap is done and a bunch of lines are recorded. But how is that all brought together? What do the animators and folks need to do and how long does it take?
-What will the missions look like? Will everything be "kill all enemies in this sector" and "activate this X and then kill all enemies in this sector"? What are some common mission objectives CR want's in this?
-Is FPS Parkour now a planned part of SQ42? How will the Kilwrathi or whatever move in this vision? What will that feel like?
-What will the space enemies feel like? What kind of enemy ships will we fight?

There is also the very long and hard to get PS4 TRC. (Technical Requirements Checklist) or the TCR (Technical Certification Requirements) for Microsoft. This usually takes a developer around 6 months of additional development and testing if not more depending on team size. We are talking a massive amount of features not bug testing, these are actual required features that take time to implement.

This is part of the checklists:

• Base Requirements (BAS)
• Multi-Disc Games (MDG)
• Video and Graphics (VID)
• Avatar (AVT)
• Audio (AUD)
• User Interface (UI)
• Peripherals (PER)
• Voice Peripherals (VOP)
• Text Input Devices (TID)
• Video Camera Peripheral (VCP)
• Storage (STR)
• Game Clips (GC)
• Content Packages (CP)
• Online Content
• Gamer Profiles (GP)
• Statistics and Achievements (SA)
• Multiplayer Sessions (MPS)
• Communication, Messaging, Text, Voice (CMTV)
• Network (NET)
• System Link (SL)
• Advertised Feature Requirements (AFR)
• Game Demos (DEM)

One example would be that Trophies and Remote Play are mandatory for all PS4 titles to pass certification. It goes even so far as to details how non interactive pausing of the game has to work.

There are also VERY STRICT rules regarding game updates. No downloading 30GB every patch. In addition it usually takes 2 weeks for a patch to get approved.

There is no way they can get through the approval process until the end of the year if they do not already have all these requirements prepared and in their development plan. I doubt they have even started with these yet.

DigitalMocking
Jun 8, 2010

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

SomethingJones posted:

From Reverse the Verse:
March 4th, 2016

Q: Ben, MASTER OF SHIPS, where's my ENDEAVOUR?

A: Ah, Endeavour is much further down in the schedule so not, not (mumble mumble mumble)

Q: How 'bout that JAVELIN?

A: JAVELIN is actually put together by folks in the UK right now, um, so that is, uh, I should stress it's being put together for Squadron 42, it's, we're not gonna see the JAVELIN in Arena Commander tomorrow, but ah it is, it is getting it's ah... getting it... it... zzztt... buh... putting... putting...

Q: How 'bout that HULL SERIES?

A: HULL SERIES duh, no, it's more further down the line, ah, we'll hit the HULL A first and then build up from there, but, ah, ah, so it's scheduled but not... today

Q: RECLAIMER? Folks like that salvage.

A: So same story for all these, scheduled but not...

Q: Yeah there's a reason I avoided them last time...

A: Probably what we should do in this segment is tell people what ships ARE in development right now

Q: We did that last week though, we can't just do the same thing every week?

A: Yeah I mean yeah ships don't change every week but I mean we could say, ah, I, we could talk-about-some-of-the-changes we had an artist who is moving... ah... the folks who were working on the Xi'An SCOUT moved onto the HERALD, uhm which ah... (looks behind camera for help), s'good thing, uhm, mmmmmeanwhile tech...tech folks are working on the Xi'An SCOUT getting it flyable right now... ah what else... ahhh... RELIANT is getting hangar... hangar-ified... ah the BENGAL, bunch of people moved over to the BENGAL cos we need it for some scenes in SQUADRON, ahhhh huh huh... ah, we just got the concepts in for our ah, SMALL MINING SHIP, um I can't say much more about it, it's one of those ones you'll see it in the vault someday, it'll look nothing like what came out today, but ah... I liked it... Um, Chris Roberts had more changes than I did.

Jesus loving christ.

How can anyone involved in the project watch RTV or 10FTC and think these people are in any way not pants on head retarded?

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015






I considered posting one of their puppet shows but even I'm not that mean. Congratulations, spacetoaster. You definitely just ruined some goons day.

smellmycheese
Feb 1, 2016

SomethingJones posted:

From 10 for the Chairman: Episode 77
Feb 29, 2016 @ 02:29


Q: What type of work is being done to increase the server population capacity? Should we expect to see 24 or 32 player instances in the near future?

A: The answer to that is ABSOLUTELY, I think, ah, if you've been watching some of the chatter on the recent, ah, PTU RELEASES, and, ah, you know, what's gonna be in 2.2... eh, it is, ah, gonna be 24 players, so we've been working, ah, ah, HARD on sort of optimizing areas so we can sort of scale more, I think I've mentioned before that the, you know, the biggest issue that we have is uhm, uh, just the overhead that the ships have because they're very complicated, they have multiple... items that have all this functionality, they need to talk to each other over the network... they're attached to SHIPS, a ship isn't just one entity you know, in the case of a HORNET it can be fifty or sixty, in the case of a BIGGER ship it's a lot more than... fifty or sixty, so they're very heavy, ah, sort of PROCESSING WISE and the SERVER in terms of just SIMULATION and also in... in network, um, sort of TRAFFIC... So, in general, that's, em, you know, more the limiting... FACTOR which... we've been WORKING ON, so we're... we're REFACTORING a lot of things to... make it much more, ah, SMART about when it has to UPDATE, ah, and all the other things and that sort of ties into the work that we've done in the past on the ZONE SYSTEM, we're doing sort of a, uh, whatever you wanna call it, a NETWORK LOD and an UPDATE LOD that sort of scopes depending on, you know, whether you can SEE THINGS, how FAR AWAY they are, whether they are ACTIVE, whether it's another PLAYER, whether it's relevant to YOU and... so hopefully all that stuff em, you know, helps... increase the load that we can do and we're doing things like we're... we're... you know, pushing more and more into MULTIPLE CORES, more... MULTI-THREADING to, you know, be able to do more... you know... PHYSICS PROCESSING at the same time as we're doing more sort of entity updating and simulation. So ehm you know, part of the benef... part of the result of that is moving to more players in, eh, CRUSADER, we'll continue and we're expecting to continue to sort of push that over time, eh, to get more and more and uh, you know we're actually working on... some ah, BACK END SERVER MESH TECH uhm, that will allow us to ah, sort of MESH A LOT MORE... players all in essentially what will be kind of sort of the same, ah, INSTANCE, uhm so but that's sort of ah, you know a LITTLE further along, but, eh, it's ahh... yeah, I think EXCITING so I think we'll be able to DELIVER probably more players than we were thinking originally... in concurrent areas... ah... so... when I think, actually there's a question about that so... I maybe talk a bit more about it then...

Ha ha. That was my favourite answer from this week's "Ask Cap'n Bullshit'. Even my loving grandmother could tell you that sounds like a load of old bollocks.

SomethingJones
Mar 6, 2016

<3

D1E posted:

SomethingJones: can you please do a transcript from the earliest historical 10FTC you can find with answers from Chris Roberts?

I'm curious if his speaking skills have deteriorated over time. And also whether he constantly answered questions directly from his own rear end.

Yes, I will do it tomorrow. From looking quickly at a few earlier ones I'd say you're spot on, his speech has deteriorated. It's actually very obvious. I don't know yet whether the bullshit level has increased over time but I'm sure we'll all have fun finding out together.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I may have overworked this one slightly



lol

great work commando :five:

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Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Sedisp posted:

Oh man. That anatomy is fantastically bad. So is the perspective. It's perfect.

these forums are a real "perfect storm" of terrible fanart. The cosplays are just as bad.

CPAPman made himself a holo-computer:

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