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Think about it more like telling her what feels good or not. That's completely normal.
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Mar 3, 2016 16:27
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Also sex is very much a skill you dope
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Mar 3, 2016 16:33
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whydirt posted:Also sex is very much a skill you dope I learned everything I need to know about making sweet love in one place.
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Mar 3, 2016 16:36
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EB Nulshit posted:My girlfriend hasn't had sex with any men before me and is super self-conscious about it. She wants me to point out ways that she can "improve" at it and I'm like, I don't think sex is a skill. I don't think you just get "better" at it. How do I explain that properly? Because "no, really, I don't think there's anything for you to do differently to 'improve' and also it's two-person thing. it's not something you're supposed to just worry about on your own" is met with "well, just think about it more and find something for me to do better". If I didn't ask for pointers I probably would have missed a lot of things later partners have enjoyed. So just tell her what feels good!
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Mar 3, 2016 16:42
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What should I be paying attention to, then?
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Mar 3, 2016 17:09
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EB Nulshit posted:My girlfriend hasn't had sex with any men before me and is super self-conscious about it. She wants me to point out ways that she can "improve" at it and I'm like, I don't think sex is a skill. I don't think you just get "better" at it. How do I explain that properly? Because "no, really, I don't think there's anything for you to do differently to 'improve' and also it's two-person thing. it's not something you're supposed to just worry about on your own" is met with "well, just think about it more and find something for me to do better". That... is sort of exactly how you get better at it in my experience, though generally it involves talking with your other half as well, but yeah absolutely going over what you did and seeing what worked for you both and what didn't and what you'd like and not like is 100% a sensible way to get better at sex, at least with your current partner, and sex is absolutely a skill.
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Mar 3, 2016 17:23
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EB Nulshit posted:My girlfriend hasn't had sex with any men before me and is super self-conscious about it. She wants me to point out ways that she can "improve" at it and I'm like, I don't think sex is a skill. I don't think you just get "better" at it. How do I explain that properly? Because "no, really, I don't think there's anything for you to do differently to 'improve' and also it's two-person thing. it's not something you're supposed to just worry about on your own" is met with "well, just think about it more and find something for me to do better". Why no, you can never get better at satisfying your partner, as you are blessed at conception with a Sexual Prowess Stat that defines your sex skills irrevocably for life. Sounds like she wants you to reroll, you might need to  .Or switch to dudes, I hear they are currently theorizing that there are separate stats for the 'Cum Guzzling Cock Slut' minigame.
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Mar 3, 2016 17:55
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Liquid Communism posted:Why no, you can never get better at satisfying your partner, as you are blessed at conception with a Sexual Prowess Stat that defines your sex skills irrevocably for life. Sounds like she wants you to reroll, you might need to I think you get a bonus if you equip a Condom of Ill-Fitting, which must be why so many goons are on a holy quest to find them.
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Mar 3, 2016 18:25
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EB Nulshit posted:My girlfriend hasn't had sex with any men before me and is super self-conscious about it. She wants me to point out ways that she can "improve" at it and I'm like, I don't think sex is a skill. I don't think you just get "better" at it. How do I explain that properly? Because "no, really, I don't think there's anything for you to do differently to 'improve' and also it's two-person thing. it's not something you're supposed to just worry about on your own" is met with "well, just think about it more and find something for me to do better". As others have said before, sex is a skill. Her biggest problem is that she lacks confidence because she's inexperienced, and she's looking for feedback to build her experience and thereby her confidence; that's a really normal and healthy way to go about it. As for what you should do, tell her what feels good, and when she's doing something that doesn't feel that good, tell her to do something else. And if you're not sure how to do that, well, that's a bigger problem than this thread can really help you with.
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Mar 3, 2016 19:05
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look at you guys responding to an eb nulshit post
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Mar 3, 2016 19:19
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I guess my problem is that I only had sex twice before meeting her, so I'm new to this and there isn't anything she's done that I didn't enjoy. Asking her, she feels the same way, so I have no idea where to go from there.
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Mar 3, 2016 19:39
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Have more sex.
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Mar 3, 2016 19:44
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EB Nulshit posted:I guess my problem is that I only had sex twice before meeting her, so I'm new to this and there isn't anything she's done that I didn't enjoy. Asking her, she feels the same way, so I have no idea where to go from there. Then keep doing what you're doing and explore other ways to have fun as you think of them and want to. And tell her lots about how good things feel to build her confidence in what she's already doing right.
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Mar 3, 2016 19:52
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whydirt posted:Have more sex. Travis343 posted:look at you guys responding to an eb nulshit post
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Mar 3, 2016 19:54
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EB Nulshit posted:I guess my problem is that I only had sex twice before meeting her, so I'm new to this and there isn't anything she's done that I didn't enjoy. Asking her, she feels the same way, so I have no idea where to go from there. Either you're both boring, you have an insanely elaborate sex life, or what she was initially trying to do was start a conversation about your sex life with the hopes of getting some ideas and reassurance, to which you responded "I am experiencing adequate sexual fulfilment, no further alterations to your programming are required." Just, like, talk with her about it. Presumably you like her and there's some stuff you'd like to try with her or she might like to try with you, stuff one or both of you have wondered about.
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Mar 3, 2016 19:58
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OwlFancier posted:there's some stuff you'd like to try with her Nothing that I'm aware of? Then again, I didn't know what cuddling was till I got drunk with some stranger and we cuddled on her floor one night, so when it comes to things I can do with another person, I really don't know what our options are. Can you please give me examples of what you might mean by "stuff"?
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Mar 3, 2016 22:07
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EB Nulshit posted:Nothing that I'm aware of? Then again, I didn't know what cuddling was till I got drunk with some stranger and we cuddled on her floor one night, so when it comes to things I can do with another person, I really don't know what our options are. Can you please give me examples of what you might mean by "stuff"? Put stuff in your butt.
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Mar 3, 2016 22:26
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Just tell her you get better by doing it more Win win
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Mar 3, 2016 22:31
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Dress her in your favorite anime
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Mar 4, 2016 00:56
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Tonetta posted:Anime her in your favorite dress
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Mar 4, 2016 01:33
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EB Nulshit posted:Nothing that I'm aware of? Then again, I didn't know what cuddling was till I got drunk with some stranger and we cuddled on her floor one night, so when it comes to things I can do with another person, I really don't know what our options are. Can you please give me examples of what you might mean by "stuff"? http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com Keep F5ing and doing everything listed in the top paragraph. Read it aloud to your partner as you do so.
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Mar 4, 2016 07:34
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OwlFancier posted:http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com I can't stop laughing, feels so good I don't need orgasms any more. Thanks, sex thread!
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Mar 5, 2016 05:36
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EB Nulshit posted:Then again, I didn't know what cuddling was 
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Mar 5, 2016 15:24
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OwlFancier posted:http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com 
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Mar 8, 2016 01:42
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That website has some of the most fabulous euphemisms I've ever encountered.
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Mar 8, 2016 10:20
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"smelly brown love piss" will forever be seared into my brain
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Mar 8, 2016 19:18
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NotAnArtist posted:"smelly brown love piss" will forever be seared into my brain Well of course, on account of the low PH.
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Mar 8, 2016 20:12
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Any tips for helping with libido while taking Effexor (venlafaxine)? I've been using it for a year or so and while feeling a lot better mentally I just find it really hard to get in the mood very often. I don't particularly want to switch meds as I reacted badly last time and had a really poo poo 6 weeks. Is there anything I can do to help this? Or am I pretty much stuck this way while ever I'm still on the pills?
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Mar 9, 2016 12:11
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Ask over here : http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3170218 Effexor's common enough that the side effects are pretty well known. No advice to give you though!
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Mar 10, 2016 09:31
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Liquid Communism posted:Ask over here : http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3170218 Not to derail but medical goons: how sure are we that antidepressants help people? It sure seems like they have terrible horrible side effects and gently caress everyone up. My mom took Effexor for a while and I don't know if she had sex problems (because eww) but even if she had it would have been the least of her troubles with that drug. To add content: I've asked this before but I still haven't really recovered from the sensitivity problems that started when I took SSRIs as a teenager. I'm at the point now where I can sometimes finish with a condom but not always (and that took years, and I can't ever finish if I've had any amount of alcohol in the past 6 or so hours). It's frustrating. Any additional advice? Obviously I've tried just never masturbating; which helped but did not solve the problem. Ogmius815 fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Mar 10, 2016 |
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Mar 10, 2016 23:54
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Women have this way more than men, but some people just don't orgasm from just piv. Especially with a condom. Getting a blowjob (or more foreplay in general) first can help. Also butt stuff (on you), if you're up for trying that. I'm the same way, and those are the things that help me.
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Mar 11, 2016 00:02
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Ogmius815 posted:Not to derail but medical goons: how sure are we that antidepressants help people? It sure seems like they have terrible horrible side effects and gently caress everyone up. My mom took Effexor for a while and I don't know if she had sex problems (because eww) but even if she had it would have been the least of her troubles with that drug. Antidepressants absolutely help a ton of people with mood disorders. Even when I was on Paxil and couldn't cum half the time, it was still better than wanting to kill myself. I eventually transitioned onto Wellbutrin, which has minimal side effects for me, so even if Effexor is wrecking your Mom's poo poo, she can transition to another antidepressant and see if there's one that can do its job without being a huge pain in the rear end. And the effectiveness and side effects of a drug vary a lot from person to person; psychiatry is a much less exact science than most other kinds of medicine, since the brain is still very mysterious to us, so often you have to use some trial and error to find the meds that will work best for you. As to anorgasmia, using a condom and/or sleeve to masturbate can help, as can the classic buddy cop duo of weed and butt stuff.
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Mar 11, 2016 00:22
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SSRI and SNRI sexual side effects might as well be bullshit wizard magic for all anyone knows about why and when they happen and when they go away. Could last forever, even after you've stopped taking the drug; could have no effect at all; for a hilariously lucky few and for a vanishingly small number of medications they could improve libido. There's just no telling. Sorry, Hello Obturator.hoobajoo posted:Antidepressants absolutely help a ton of people with mood disorders. Even when I was on Paxil and couldn't cum half the time, it was still better than wanting to kill myself. I eventually transitioned onto Wellbutrin, which has minimal side effects for me, so even if Effexor is wrecking your Mom's poo poo, she can transition to another antidepressant and see if there's one that can do its job without being a huge pain in the rear end. And the effectiveness and side effects of a drug vary a lot from person to person; psychiatry is a much less exact science than most other kinds of medicine, since the brain is still very mysterious to us, so often you have to use some trial and error to find the meds that will work best for you. Weed is something I've always wanted to try (not just WRT sex/fapping but in general) but it is like the single way I would lose my job if noticed and they are very hot to trot on that particular vice. Stupid federal rules. 
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Mar 11, 2016 01:22
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Antidepressants absolutely do help. As for me, I'm on escitalopram, and find it harder to get off. Not the worst problem to have by any means... Maybe just try go for it anyway, even if you're not in the mood, and see if you warm up? I think sexual side effects are fairly common with all SSRIs, so switching might not help anyway. And switching meds does suck mightily.
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Mar 11, 2016 01:34
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hoobajoo posted:
That sounds...expensive. What is a sleeve? I don't really feel like using up a condom every time I want to jack it.
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Mar 11, 2016 06:56
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Ogmius815 posted:That sounds...expensive. What is a sleeve? I don't really feel like using up a condom every time I want to jack it. Condoms are dirt cheap, and the only real way to get used to condoms is to use them a bunch. Think of it as an investment for when you do have sex, and you can also try a bunch of different brands and see if one's especially good. By sleeve I mean whatever you like to call a Fleshlight/onahole/pocket pussy/fake vagina. It's a more subtle kind of stimulation, and some guys find it helps increase their sensitivity.
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Mar 11, 2016 07:32
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Ogmius815 posted:Not to derail but medical goons: how sure are we that antidepressants help people? It sure seems like they have terrible horrible side effects and gently caress everyone up. My mom took Effexor for a while and I don't know if she had sex problems (because eww) but even if she had it would have been the least of her troubles with that drug. They're like pretty much every other drug, in that they help some people, do nothing for other people, and make some people really sick with side effects. I mean, some drugs work really reliably because we understand the disease mechanisms extremely well (antibiotics for TB, for example), but antidepressants are more of a crapshoot because the disease mechanism is so poorly understood at this time. I'm sorry your mom had such a bad experience with Effexor. It worked really well for me, but then on the other hand I took a very commonly prescribed blood pressure medication that almost killed me, much to everyone's surprise. Sometimes drugs try to kill you.
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Mar 11, 2016 07:47
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hoobajoo posted:Condoms are dirt cheap, and the only real way to get used to condoms is to use them a bunch. Think of it as an investment for when you do have sex, and you can also try a bunch of different brands and see if one's especially good. By sleeve I mean whatever you like to call a Fleshlight/onahole/pocket pussy/fake vagina. It's a more subtle kind of stimulation, and some guys find it helps increase their sensitivity. I'm in grad school bro, things that are dirt cheap for real people create unnecessary budget strains for me. But I guess if I stop buying them at Duane Reade and get them on Amazon or something they'll be cheaper.
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Mar 11, 2016 08:54
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Ogmius815 posted:I'm in grad school bro, things that are dirt cheap for real people create unnecessary budget strains for me. But I guess if I stop buying them at Duane Reade and get them on Amazon or something they'll be cheaper. You're in grad school, bro. Just walk into Student Death, there's probably a fishbowl full of the drat things. They couldn't give them away fast enough when I was in school, and it's not like you're relying on them for pregnancy protection.
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Mar 11, 2016 09:21
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Ogmius815 posted:I'm in grad school bro, things that are dirt cheap for real people create unnecessary budget strains for me. But I guess if I stop buying them at Duane Reade and get them on Amazon or something they'll be cheaper. What Liquid Communism said, every campus I've been on they just gave the things away. Even barring that, you can get 100 condoms online for less than $40, and if you can't afford $40, it's either not that important to you, or you need to rebudget.
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Mar 11, 2016 18:55
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