Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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Tomfoolery: Oct 8, 2004

Tigntink posted:

There's someone out there with "Horse Fluffer" on their resume. I guarantee it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnmlSr5x-YQ&t=20s

# ? Mar 10, 2016 18:53

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:34

Suspicious Lump: Mar 11, 2004

Jesus Christ this is the best derail every.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:35

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

cowofwar posted:

Giant fleshlight. In the case of bulls it is a giant fleshlight car.

So they run a train on this fleshlight?

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:04

CelestialScribe: Jan 16, 2008

EDIT: Starting a thread.

CelestialScribe fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Mar 11, 2016

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:09

Electrical Fire: Mar 29, 2010

Someone post that story about the dolphin that forced a woman to give it hand jobs after they did government issued LSD together.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:09

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

CelestialScribe posted:

I need someone to tell me whether I'm about to be bad with money.

I have six months' expenses, savings in every category including for Christmas, car repair, bills, etc. I save 20% of my pay and my stay-at-home wife and I are saving up for a house. No debt. Own both cars.

Based on savings from job and part-time business, (work already confirmed and contracted), I have $8,000 in savings for the deposit now, and over $40,000 by the end of the year. That's not including any work I get between now and then, which based on the past few years could be as high as $30,000. I need $80,000 for a deposit.

I'm 28, she's 32.

I want to buy a new bass guitar. I play in a cover band, but I don't need this bass, it's a toy. The bass is $3,200 retail, but a guy is selling a great quality one for $1,400 and it's only five years old.

I have $8,600 in small business funds coming. Would it be bad to take $1,400 of that and buy the bass?

I think everything is okay. But is that a stupid thing to do? What am I missing?

(Honestly not trying to be a humblebrag, although I dunno how this would be one)

Start a thread, IMO.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:11

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

CelestialScribe posted:

I need someone to tell me whether I'm about to be bad with money.

I have six months' expenses, savings in every category including for Christmas, car repair, bills, etc. I save 20% of my pay and my stay-at-home wife and I are saving up for a house. No debt. Own both cars.

Based on savings from job and part-time business, (work already confirmed and contracted), I have $8,000 in savings for the deposit now, and over $40,000 by the end of the year. That's not including any work I get between now and then, which based on the past few years could be as high as $30,000. I need $80,000 for a deposit.

I'm 28, she's 32.

I want to buy a new bass guitar. I play in a cover band, but I don't need this bass, it's a toy. The bass is $3,200 retail, but a guy is selling a great quality one for $1,400 and it's only five years old.

I have $8,600 in small business funds coming. Would it be bad to take $1,400 of that and buy the bass?

I think everything is okay. But is that a stupid thing to do? What am I missing?

(Honestly not trying to be a humblebrag, although I dunno how this would be one)

The only way that'd be a worse humblebrag is if your part-time business was jerking off horses.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:11

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Any time someone posts something like "I have <dollars> now, but I'll have <several times that> by the end of the year", I gotta question it. What happened to the last nine months' 32k? The one before that? I know incomes and situations change, but don't rely on projections that plan around a level of willpower you've possibly never shown before. (I'm sure part of this is having a kid but still, only 8k savings and you can accrue 32k every nine months?) Make a thread.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:25

Pureauthor: Jul 8, 2010; ASK ME ABOUT KISSING A GHOST

Is starting a job to give basic common sense financial advice* GWM? WOuld people go for it?

* along the lines of "Your monthly expenditure should not be exceeding your monthly income."

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:26

leper khan: Dec 28, 2010; Honest to god thinks Half Life 2 is a bad game. But at least he likes Monster Hunter.

Pureauthor posted:

Is starting a job to give basic common sense financial advice* GWM? WOuld people go for it?

* along the lines of "Your monthly expenditure should not be exceeding your monthly income."

Isn't that the basic premise of YNAB? They seem to be doing ok.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:36

Suspicious Lump: Mar 11, 2004

Pureauthor posted:

Is starting a job to give basic common sense financial advice* GWM? WOuld people go for it?

* along the lines of "Your monthly expenditure should not be exceeding your monthly income."

You could make an automated website, after someone submits a form you generate a reply with a few calculations with wise words thrown in.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:37

pig slut lisa: Mar 5, 2012; irl is good

Tomfoolery posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnmlSr5x-YQ&t=20s

I thought this link was gonna lead me to that Jackass clip where they drink the horse cum

# ? Mar 11, 2016 04:57

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

pig slut lisa posted:

I thought this link was gonna lead me to that Jackass clip where they drink the horse cum

Yet you clicked it anyway

# ? Mar 11, 2016 05:03

pig slut lisa: Mar 5, 2012; irl is good

canyoneer posted:

Yet you clicked it anyway

Astute observation

# ? Mar 11, 2016 05:06

Dik Hz: Feb 22, 2004; Fun with Science

cowofwar posted:

Giant fleshlight. In the case of bulls it is a giant fleshlight car.

I know someone in grad school who did this for Rhinoceroses, (Rhinoceri?) except she had to sit in the car.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 15:21

Golluk: Oct 22, 2008

Dik Hz posted:

I know someone in grad school who did this for Rhinoceroses, (Rhinoceri?) except she had to sit in the car.

If ever there was a time to be wearing your safety googles. That would be it.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 15:30

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Dik Hz posted:

I know someone in grad school who did this for Rhinoceroses, (Rhinoceri?) except she had to sit in the car.

And you thought it was annoying when someone's foot kicks the back of your car seat.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 15:33

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

I distinctly remember Mike Rowe did an episode or segment on his awesome show: Dirty Jobs, where they showed how they milk stallions. I recall they had like mare in heat in a separate pen and in the adjacent one they set up a sawhorse, that the stallion would mound, and someone with a huge fleshlight slip that thing over the horse dongle and the stallion would pump away to completion and his sample was collected in the jar at the end of the sleeve thing. The amount of blurring of things and Mike Rowe innuendo was out of loving control on that one. Request user name change to Mike Rowe Innuendo, TIA.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 16:10

Guest2553: Aug 3, 2012

The Facebook gun lady who was shot by her toddler while driving was on the way to transport a horse with her horse trailer. I'm not surprised that such terrible life decisions go together.

And hey check out this dumb motherfucker who is trading on margin but doesn't even know what it is!

quote:

Recently noticed a sale of some stocks I owned without my authorization. The activity on the transaction says "Unsolicited Sellout". At the time of the sale, I had a negative cash balance with a positive balance in equity in this stock. The transaction particularly hurts as the stock was sold at an 88% loss.

RBC had not contacted me about requiring settlement on the cash balance in any way, either by phone, email, messaging to my online account, or mail. Needless to say, this is a surprise to me.

Upon calling RBC, the customer service rep had indicated that they had attempted to contact me by mail on February 23, which I'm guessing the notice will show up in my mailbox the coming days. RBC indicated that they were within their right to do so based on "the agreement", and that the deal was final.

Do I have any options here given what I believe is the lack of communication from the bank on this matter? Or am I hooped?

He later asked about the viability of legal action but has since deleted the comment.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 17:22

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Pureauthor posted:

Is starting a job to give basic common sense financial advice* GWM? WOuld people go for it?

* along the lines of "Your monthly expenditure should not be exceeding your monthly income."

Suze Orman's show was something like this, taking BWM people and turning them around. Sometimes it even worked! There was a lot of seriously going through the guest's budget and getting rid of things like cable and gym membership and constant eating out.

And there were a few beautiful humblebrags in the Can I Afford It section.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 18:05

ploots: Mar 19, 2010

High Lord Elbow posted:

Making new horses and selling them can marginally defray the foolhardiness.

Horses: the first pyramid scheme

# ? Mar 11, 2016 18:38

MenschMaschine: Jun 10, 2009; Halb Wesen und halb Ding

...aber oho!

Krispy Kareem posted:

And you thought it was annoying when someone's foot kicks the back of your car seat.

Could be worse. Your job could be this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF3c93luf94

# ? Mar 11, 2016 18:44

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

There was a Thoroughbred named The Green Monkey who was sold for $16 million as a yearling and ended up not winning a single race and making a total of $10,240 on the track. Of course he was then put out to stud for other fools to pay $5,000 a pop to breed their mares to.
None of the top 10 most expensive TBs sold at auction became particularly good racehorses, and none made up their price on the track or in the stud shed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoroughbred_valuation

Meanwhile you've got horses like Curlin who sold for $57,000 as a yearling and made over $10.5 million as a racehorse and currently has a stud fee of $100,000. The people who originally bought him though turned out to be BWM (bad with morals):

quote:

Kentucky-based class-action lawyers William Gallion and Shirley Cunningham Jr. bought Curlin for $57,000 as a yearling through their Midnight Cry Stable. They sold controlling interest (80%) in the horse in February 2007 for $3.5 million[1] to a group composed of Jess Jackson, founder of Kendall-Jackson wines; Florida software entrepreneur Satish Sanan's Padua Stables; and George Bolton, an investment banker from San Francisco.

In August 2007, Gallion and Cunningham were in a Boone County, Kentucky jail awaiting a federal trial on charges including conspiracy and fraud for allegedly stealing $90 million of a $200 million settlement they obtained for 418 people in a lawsuit against the makers of the diet drug fen-phen. They were convicted in 2009 and sentenced to 25 and 20 years in prison, respectively.[2][3]

On November 1, 2007, Judge William Wehr ruled the 20% interest in the colt owned by Gallion and Cunningham Jr. would be turned over to the more than 400 persons involved in the fen-phen lawsuit.[4]

On November 6, 2007, Jackson and Bolton confirmed that they bought out the interest in Curlin controlled by their partner Sanan's Padua Stables (29%).[5]

On November 9, 2007, trainer Kenneth McPeek, who worked as a blood-stock agent and consultant for Midnight Cry Stable, filed suit in Circuit Court in Jefferson County, Kentucky alleging that the stable breached a contract calling for him to be paid a 5 percent finders fee commission on the purchase and selling price of Curlin and other racehorses, as well as other breeding rights.[6]

On December 20, 2007, Stonestreet announced the private purchase of George Bolton's 20% stake in Curlin.[7] The sale leaves Stonestreet Stables' Jess Jackson and his wife, Barbara Banke, as co-owners of 80% of Curlin and the balance held by Midnight Cry Stables, which is tied up in a legal battle involving 418 people suing the horse's original owners over a legal settlement.

On January 22, 2008, Senior Judge Roger Crittenden in a one-sentence statement overruled the foreclosure motion filed by the plaintiffs against their former attorneys for alleged mishandling their settlement in the fen-phen lawsuit. The Blood Horse magazine further reported that according to attorneys representing Stonestreet Stable, they have "a first-right-of-refusal clause incorporated into the original sales agreement with Midnight Cry", should ever such a motion be ordered.

# ? Mar 13, 2016 21:56

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Time to switch from milking horses to milking cows. Apparently the New Zealand Government borrowed $30b to start Fonterra and risk everything on milk powder prices. With the fall off in demand from China information is leaking out about farmers not running their farms as businesses, instead depending on capital gains from land price. Of course with low milk powder prices land prices for dairy are falling.
http://www.interest.co.nz/opinion/80559/bernard-hickey-wonders-why-nz-inc-decided-borrow-nz30-bln-bet-volatile-commodity-price

New Zealand is looking at 10% of farms failing at a minimum. A large portion of dairy farms are borrowing to pay interest at this time.

So much for diversity, instead it's all greed and nothing has changed since the Think Big state intervention era. Just a lot of borrowing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_Big

I'm now waiting to see how much default rates climb in New Zealand.

# ? Mar 14, 2016 00:40

Sepherothic: Feb 8, 2003

Youth Decay posted:

None of the top 10 most expensive TBs sold at auction became particularly good racehorses, and none made up their price on the track or in the stud shed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoroughbred_valuation

Is there a way to short a horse?

# ? Mar 14, 2016 17:11

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Sepherothic posted:

Is there a way to shorten a horse?

# ? Mar 14, 2016 17:16

TheGreyGhost: Feb 14, 2012; �Go win the Heimlich Trophy!�

Sepherothic posted:

Is there a way to short a horse?

Bad With Money: Ponying up for Credit Default Swaps on Horse Equity

TheGreyGhost fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Mar 14, 2016

# ? Mar 14, 2016 17:25

Rythe: Jan 21, 2011

My wife was telling me her friends are starting to be BWM, they are getting involved with selling the LuLaRoe clothing line. She dropped the bomb on me that they each had to spend around 5k for the cheapest clothing package along with another grand or so for hangars, display racks and stands to even be able to start selling the clothing. This is coming from a bunch of military wives where there husbands clear maybe $35-40K a year with a few in there earning north of $50k at least.

I guess a GWM money story is my wife hosting there parties at our house, she gets one free item for being the host and for every ten items sold she gets another free piece. Overall that works great for me, she spends no money, gets a bunch of neat looking free clothing and hangs out with her friends and that all cost me zero dollars.

# ? Mar 14, 2016 17:38

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

If you and all your friends sign up a pyramid scheme to sell garbage who is going to buy it?

Never pay out of pocket for a job.

# ? Mar 14, 2016 17:51

Tipps: Apr 18, 2006; party in the front

business in the back

My brother-in-law (unemployed) and his soon-to-be-wife (ironically, accountant) have been together about 4 years and are textbook BWM. In their never-ending cultural pressure to keep up appearances as successful Canadian immigrants, they have driven themselves into huge amounts of debt by going on multiple exotic vacations a year, leasing new luxury cars every 2 years, and just generally buying ridiculous poo poo, all for the sake of showing off to the plebes back in the Philippines/first-generation immigrant friends just how successful they are.

Over the weekend, my partner and I learned that they were recently told by their parents that they would give them the money for a down-payment on a condo on the following conditions:

the two of them get engaged/married ASAP
the two of them start having children ASAP
the parents will be allowed to use the condo as an anchor for them to keep their Canadian citizenship and healthcare, even though they now live full-time in the Philippines. This means that every 6 months or so, they will come back to Canada and live with them for a couple of months while they stock up on doctors visits and prescription drugs.
the two of them are now beholden to the parents forever thanks to Catholic/Filipino guilt and can never say "no" to anything asked of them ever again

Because they live in Vancouver, renowned for its affordable housing, the brand new 2br condo they are planning to buy is well over $500,000, so it is subject to new rules that require a minimum 10% downpayment. Presumably, with the money from the parents, they are only putting in the minimum and ammortizing the rest over 30 years + mandatory mortgage insurance, so I look forward to seeing how they manage with all of their existing debt, a mortgage/insurance/misc condo fees and expenses, plus the cost of raising a Filipino-sized family of at least 3 kids, all on one salary with their spendthrift lifestyle, in one of the most unaffordable cities in the world.

Not that they care at all about any of this, because they get to join the elite homeowners of Vancouver, which levels them up a rank or two in their ability to brag about how successful they are with their brand new condo - unlike those shitheads who rent or who buy pre-owned condos :rolleyes:

. They are expecting to sign the papers by the end of the month.

Additional unrelated detail: Not that we would have ever accepted it because of the conditions-attached, but the parents never offered us the money even though my partner is the eldest son (a big deal in Filipino families) and we've been together for two years longer than his brother and his soon-to-be-wife... because they refuse to acknowledge him/us since gays are abominations. :rip:

Tipps fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Mar 14, 2016

# ? Mar 14, 2016 19:00

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Tipps posted:

My brother-in-law (unemployed) and his soon-to-be-wife (ironically, accountant) have been together about 4 years and are textbook BWM. In their never-ending cultural pressure to keep up appearances as successful Canadian immigrants, they have driven themselves into huge amounts of debt by going on multiple exotic vacations a year, leasing new luxury cars every 2 years, and just generally buying ridiculous poo poo, all for the sake of showing off to the plebes back in the Philippines/first-generation immigrant friends just how successful they are.

Over the weekend, my partner and I learned that they were recently told by their parents that they would give them the money for a down-payment on a condo on the following conditions:

the two of them get engaged/married ASAP

the two of them start having children ASAP

the parents will be allowed to use the condo as an anchor for them to keep their Canadian citizenship and healthcare, even though they now live full-time in the Philippines. This means that every 6 months or so, they will come back to Canada and live with them for a couple of months while they stock up on doctors visits and prescription drugs.

the two of them are now beholden to the parents forever thanks to Catholic/Filipino guilt and can never say "no" to anything asked of them ever again

Because they live in Vancouver, renowned for its affordable housing, the brand new 2br condo they are planning to buy is well over $500,000, so it is subject to new rules that require a minimum 10% downpayment. Presumably, with the money from the parents, they are only putting in the minimum and ammortizing the rest over 30 years + mandatory mortgage insurance, so I look forward to seeing how they manage with all of their existing debt, a mortgage/insurance/misc condo fees and expenses, plus the cost of raising a Filipino-sized family of at least 3 kids, all on one salary with their spendthrift lifestyle, in one of the most unaffordable cities in the world.

Not that they care at all about any of this, because they get to join the elite homeowners of Vancouver, which levels them up a rank or two in their ability to brag about how successful they are with their brand new condo - unlike those shitheads who rent or who buy pre-owned condos . They are expecting to sign the papers by the end of the month.

Additional unrelated detail: Not that we would have ever accepted it because of the conditions-attached, but the parents never offered us the money even though my partner is the eldest son (a big deal in Filipino families) and we've been together for two years longer than his brother and his soon-to-be-wife... because they refuse to acknowledge him/us since gays are abominations.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet to me. You really don't want inlaws living in your condo, nevermind along with babies for extended periods of time.

# ? Mar 14, 2016 19:12

Nail Rat: Dec 29, 2000; You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!

Depends on the family, I think. Free childcare!

# ? Mar 14, 2016 19:28

Tipps: Apr 18, 2006; party in the front

business in the back

cowofwar posted:

Sounds like you dodged a bullet to me. You really don't want inlaws living in your condo, nevermind along with babies for extended periods of time.

Oh absolutely. My partner is still pretty upset about being effectively culturally-disowned by his family, but the knowledge that we dodged a huge loving bullet regarding their "conditions" is helping soften the blow.

Nail Rat posted:

Depends on the family, I think. Free childcare!

This is true and is a dimension I didn't think about. The parents want grandchildren badly, and they will all over childcare duties once the two of them are properly married in the eyes of the Lord and can start having babies like good Catholics. Whether the money they save on childcare for 6mo of the year is worth selling their souls to a 30y mortgage and having your parents live with you for 6mo a year until they die though... :shrug:

# ? Mar 14, 2016 20:30

BonerGhost: Mar 9, 2007

Tipps posted:

Oh absolutely. My partner is still pretty upset about being effectively culturally-disowned by his family, but the knowledge that we dodged a huge loving bullet regarding their "conditions" is helping soften the blow.

This is true and is a dimension I didn't think about. The parents want grandchildren badly, and they will all over childcare duties once the two of them are properly married in the eyes of the Lord and can start having babies like good Catholics. Whether the money they save on childcare for 6mo of the year is worth selling their souls to a 30y mortgage and having your parents live with you for 6mo a year until they die though...

Different strokes. Multi generational families have their ups and downs, just like nuclear and blended families too. That sounds like a loving nightmare to me, but my ideal family is DINK so I'm probably biased.

That said, people who have kids primarily 'to have someone to take care of me when I'm old' should be sterilized, just as soon as I can come up with a palatable program to do so.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:05

CelestialScribe: Jan 16, 2008

NancyPants posted:

Different strokes. Multi generational families have their ups and downs, just like nuclear and blended families too. That sounds like a loving nightmare to me, but my ideal family is DINK so I'm probably biased.

That said, people who have kids primarily 'to have someone to take care of me when I'm old' should be sterilized, just as soon as I can come up with a palatable program to do so.

I know someone who does this. He refuses to save anything for retirement because his children will look after him and his wife.

What kind of lovely person does that?

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:13

leper khan: Dec 28, 2010; Honest to god thinks Half Life 2 is a bad game. But at least he likes Monster Hunter.

CelestialScribe posted:

I know someone who does this. He refuses to save anything for retirement because his children will look after him and his wife.

What kind of lovely person does that?

The kind that is homeless when they're 65 because their kids won't look after them.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:14

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

I decided to have children because I need someone to inherit my lands and titles, as well as avenge me if I am slain in battle.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:15

Mr. Fix It: Oct 26, 2000; 💀ayyy💀

canyoneer posted:

I decided to have children because I need someone to inherit my lands and titles, as well as avenge me if I am slain in battle.

Same. Gonna use my daughters to broker alliances by marriage too.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:23

Referee: Aug 25, 2004; "Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."
(Wilma Rudolph)

canyoneer posted:

I decided to have children because I need someone to inherit my lands and titles, as well as avenge me if I am slain in battle.

This is rapidly becoming the only reason why I would want to have kids.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:30

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:34

JUST MAKING CHILI: Feb 14, 2008

Having a feckless nimwitted heir is truly BWM, m'lords.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 01:41

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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