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The MSJ posted:When This Boy With A Colostomy Bag Said He Was Sad There Were No Superheroes Like Him, Marvel Told Him It’s Absolutely Crucial For Superheroes To Have A Functioning Anus I'm real sorry to anyone with a colostomy bag but I don't want to ever see a superhero doing backflips while holding a colostomy bag, fighting with one hand, etc. I would rather see a one-armed super hero than one holding their poo poo in a bag. Marvel made the absolute right call here.
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Mar 10, 2016 02:46
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http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-folktales-around-world-used-scare-children-being-4047 Sweet Jan (Scandinavia): A boy named Jan refuses to eat anything but sugary treats. One day, a giant storms the village and licks every villager. Jan is the sweetest, and so the giant tucks Jan into his lip like snuff while he chops wood. http://www.clickhole.com/article/dire-prediction-us-sludge-warden-just-announced-no-3965
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Mar 10, 2016 04:04
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The Onion continues its existence as a shameless propaganda arm for Hillary
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Mar 10, 2016 06:06
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New game: You are a computer. Can you pass the Turing Test? http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-computer-can-you-pass-turing-test-4009
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Mar 10, 2016 07:27
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We Asked 22 Exterminators To Describe The Most Advanced Bug Civilization They Ever Had To Destroy I always love these dumb listicles 
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Mar 10, 2016 22:04
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This Milk Is Expired When I Say It Is was the first thing I thought of when I saw this news story about state lawmakers in West Virginia who legalized raw milk, drank raw milk in celebration, and promptly got food poisoning.
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Mar 11, 2016 00:37
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The MSJ posted:New game: You are a computer. Can you pass the Turing Test? This is the first one where the game doesn't end just because you won. But there's nothing to do. The lab is still closed. The storm wastes to the north are impassible. There is only a statue of alan turing you say "COMPUTER." to, forever. I feel this is a powerful statement about a computer passing a turing test being a futile waste of noise.
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Mar 11, 2016 01:02
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Robert Denby posted:This Milk Is Expired When I Say It Is was the first thing I thought of when I saw this news story about state lawmakers in West Virginia who legalized raw milk, drank raw milk in celebration, and promptly got food poisoning. Not to derail but good find! Wow that last line is something. quote:It ain’t because of the raw milk,” Cadle told the Post-Gazette after spending Monday at home with the bug. “With that many people around and that close quarters and in that air and environment, I just call it a big germ. All that Capitol is is a big germ.
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Mar 11, 2016 15:22
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‘I Suffer From Severe Psychological Issues And I Need The Help Of Mental Health Professionals,’ Says Trump In Pointed Debate Comeback
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Mar 11, 2016 15:32
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More Pro-Hillary shilling. The Onion is clearly pulling for her due to the change in ownership: Hillary Clinton Appears Before Rally C...
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Mar 11, 2016 17:53
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I know I just got poled. 
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Mar 11, 2016 17:55
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ISIS Struggling To Narrow Down GOP Debate Sound Bites For New Recruitment Video
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Mar 11, 2016 19:08
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8 Things You Did When You Were A Kid That Parents Would Never Let Their Kids Do Today Return of the eggs!
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Mar 11, 2016 19:38
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Robert Denby posted:ISIS Struggling To Narrow Down GOP Debate Sound Bites For New Recruitment Video Too real.
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Mar 11, 2016 19:40
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:More Pro-Hillary shilling. The Onion is clearly pulling for her due to the change in ownership: If I wasn't already voting for her, her actually doing that would flip me.
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Mar 12, 2016 01:35
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Mar 14, 2016 23:33
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Mar 15, 2016 00:01
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Get Horny On These 6 Pictures Of Lust Despot Channing Tatum Glistening With His Oils And His Juices
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Mar 15, 2016 10:16
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Brutal Anti-Cruz Attack Ad Just 30 Seconds Of Candidate’s Photo Displayed Without Any Text, Voiceover, Music
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Mar 15, 2016 17:33
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Violence Erupts At Trump Rally After Supporters Clash With Protesting GOP Leaders I give it a week before that happens in real life.
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Mar 15, 2016 19:51
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tribbledirigible posted:I found this scrolling down from that: http://www.theonion.com/article/sanders-campaign-headquarters-smashed-gang-pinkert-52465
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Mar 15, 2016 21:35
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Mar 15, 2016 21:39
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Beautiful: This Video Shows Why We Need Diversity In Hollywood
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Mar 16, 2016 01:58
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Was seriously expecting firetrucks. Still laughed.
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Mar 16, 2016 02:33
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6 Times Amy Poehler Was Hilarious, Perfect, And Wasting 170,000 Gallons Of Water She was named in that article. Dang amy. Dang. Way to go.
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Mar 16, 2016 02:36
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This has to be the most insane thing the Onion/Clickhole has ever put up and it's too beautiful for words. http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-grocery-store-delivery-boy-can-you-deliver-p-4036'
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Mar 17, 2016 19:28
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Trast posted:This has to be the most insane thing the Onion/Clickhole has ever put up and it's too beautiful for words. http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-grocery-store-delivery-boy-can-you-deliver-p-4036' quote:The Seatbelt is the enemy of Death. When Death sees the Seatbelt, Death’s penis falls off and turns into smoke. It’s important to always have the Seatbelt when you are in space, or else you will become the wife of Death. I believe deeply in a multitude of hosed-up gods, each one fatter than the last. Now I’m going to hand things off to my boyfriend, Grover from Sesame Street, who is going to talk about egg safety in space. e: Aw, man, I upset all the planets by showing them my belly. 
Evil Mastermind has a new favorite as of 19:41 on Mar 17, 2016 |
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Mar 17, 2016 19:38
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My boss killed me and himself with a lever.
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Mar 17, 2016 19:57
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Evil Mastermind posted:Every sentence of this is the best sentence.
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Mar 17, 2016 20:28
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"delivery boy, welcome to being closer to me," is loving killing me
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Mar 17, 2016 21:06
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http://www.theonion.com/graphic/irish-americans-gear-up-for-the-reinforcin-o-the-s-9200 This is old, but it makes me laugh every year. The picture is hilarious. AFewBricksShy has a new favorite as of 21:26 on Mar 17, 2016 |
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Mar 17, 2016 21:12
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I actually got the beef to the ISS. It does not turn out like I expected.
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Mar 17, 2016 21:15
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I want to learn more about Adam SUPERMARKET and his medicinal ape tits.
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Mar 17, 2016 21:26
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Those poor hyper-advanced idiot aliens will never build that bookshelf...
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Mar 17, 2016 21:28
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Tut’s Tomb Could Contain Hidden Chambers http://www.theonion.com/r/52585
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Mar 17, 2016 22:26
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“APES LIVE ON ME! APES gently caress EACH OTHER AND EAT EACH OTHER RIGHT HERE ON SATURN!” screams Saturn.
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Mar 17, 2016 22:55
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Saturn was never the same since the SUPERMARKET clan moved in.
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Mar 18, 2016 00:30
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GOP Leaders Assure Sobbing Rubio It Not His Fault Party Splitting Up
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Mar 18, 2016 00:32
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Related: Mute, Terrified Rubio Awakes To Find Self Unable To Vocalize Any Unscripted Sentiment Nation Reaffirms Commitment To Things They Recognize The Onion posted:[...]citizens were exposed to a variety of things—celebrities, snacks, movie franchises, corporate logos, cultural attitudes, and more—only one of which they were familiar with. The study found that 100 percent of those surveyed immediately smiled, pointed at the only thing in the group they recognized, and said, “That one.”
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Mar 18, 2016 02:55
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Somebody at work was talking about "the cloud" and I was instantly reminded of this. http://www.theonion.com/video/hp-offers-that-cloud-thing-everyone-is-talking-abo-28789 I still lose it at "We have app!" and "1,000."
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Mar 18, 2016 04:23
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