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Dang.
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Mar 16, 2016 03:31
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Aw man. Well... at least it wasn't a shutout?
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Mar 16, 2016 03:40
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I'm free.
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Mar 16, 2016 04:37
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jon joe posted:I'm free. Yeah, welcome to the club. We have some warm gruel in the corner.
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Mar 16, 2016 04:43
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Braun you are the best bait. A true dwarven hero, your chitin beard holds true. Also by god I'm going to get you better swords asap.
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Mar 16, 2016 05:25
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Magnificent. Some of the finest gladiators we have in a battle to the death amidst a rain of teeth. Between them, those two teams have amassed 83 kills. Both James and Dussel now sit at 17 kills, Qwarf just one behind. The animists have 44 kills.
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Mar 16, 2016 09:04
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 I just wanna say thanks for showing the bets before the match, it reminds me who I should actually be rooting for and makes me much more invested in the fight. This one was fairly intense.
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Mar 16, 2016 15:58
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Yeah, I've really appreciated the bets being shown as well.
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Mar 16, 2016 15:59
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Well, that was a thing.
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Mar 16, 2016 16:12
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The important thing is we tried Afriscipio. It is pretty rare to see Josie actually pass out from pain. Usually she bleeds out first. Then again she usually gets limbs severed, not bone-stabbed.
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Mar 16, 2016 17:08
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Dusseldwarf must really be able to throw out shade for everyone to be attacking her tongue like that! Second fight in a row! Anyways, that was probably the hardest fight the Animists have left, sadly. At least I can look forward to seeing Braun die horribly in every forthcoming fight.
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Mar 16, 2016 20:30
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Decoy Badger posted:Dusseldwarf must really be able to throw out shade for everyone to be attacking her tongue like that! Second fight in a row! Yeah, nothing's ever certain, but I could definitely believe that we could end the regular season with the Animists having killed every single foe they've faced except Worse Munki.
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Mar 16, 2016 23:48
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I can definitely see us sweeping the rest of our matches, then folding in the first round of the playoffs. That would almost be fitting. Exactly how many points do we get to play with going into the single elimination rounds?
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Mar 17, 2016 00:12
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You guys dont get any, everyone else gets a bunch.
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Mar 17, 2016 00:20
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The requisite mourning period for a Plump Helmets loss has now elapsed and you may run more fights. Thank you for your consideration of the fans of the arena's most popular* team.
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Mar 17, 2016 04:14
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Sorry guys, lovely week for me. Should be back on schedule next week.
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Mar 17, 2016 20:23
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Huh. I thought we had three commissioners.
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Mar 18, 2016 07:03
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 Round 12, Fight 2  The Petting Zoo is on the left side of the arena. Antwoman (Spermy Smurf) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields an iron large dagger, a copper large dagger, and a bronze large dagger and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. A Lost Cowman (Locomotive breath) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears a silver helm, leather armor, a steel mail shirt, copper greaves, silver gauntlets, and iron low boots. Simon Belmole (Ablative) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper scourge and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Stephen Harper (ChickenWing) is a male serpent man. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears leather gauntlets and leather high boots. Two Chicks with Dicks is on the right side of the arena. Suck & gently caress Pighead (Dirty Frank) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears no armor. Bo (Haystack) is a male human. He wields a bronze short sword and a wooden shield and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Stumpy (Mygna) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron great axe and wears a copper mail shirt and bronze gauntlets. Richard Kyanka (Lorrdernie) is a male dark gnome. He wields a bronze large dagger and wears no armor.  Two Chicks with Dicks is a 1.64 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 4731.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2891.00 dwarfbucks for The Petting Zoo. It's weird how these things play out some times. This is one team I've run a lot vs a team I've never actually run before.  Our fighters come together all raggedy. No phalanxes or the like here. Cowman opens by grabbing Bo around the neck, but he immediately lets go to dodge Bo's counter attack, only to in turn get hit by Stumpy's axe. His armor essentially holds, though, as somehow the huge iron weapon gives him something comparable to a paper cut. Antwoman gives the same sort of barely-there slash to Pighead, but somehow her bronze dagger still embeds itself. Interestingly, thanks to Antwoman having weapons of three different materials, I can reliably say that she parries with a different dagger, then uses the last one to rip into her thigh. Pighead falls to the ground.  Off comes Belmole's foot. Bo's bronze short sword removes it. At the same time, Cowman shakes off some punishment from Kyanka and charges at Stumpy, knocking the dwarf down and stunning her. From there, he reaches behind himself and picks up Kyanka by the foot. He misjudges the gnome's reach, though, and Kyanka knocks his teeth out. Stephen has the opportunity to hit Stumpy himself, though. Bone breaks under the silver hammer. Up north, Antwoman stabs Pighead over and over, tearing the goblin apart in a ruthless display of superiority. Cowman rotates Kyanka's ankle through about 720 degrees, while ignoring the gnome's stabs. He has nothing to fear, after all. Her tiny bronze weapon is never going to pierce his steel mail. So far, only Belmole vs Bo is going for the visitor side, and even that might be changing, as Belmole lands a lash on Bo. Little damage there, but of course moles are the race that tends to win damage races. Stephen's hammer continues to brutalize the stunned Stumpy. One swing paralyzes the dwarf, as the hammer separates her spine.  Another shot and Stephen crushes her skull. However, it seems that Kyanka has suddenly rallied. Or possibly turned on god mode. Cowman made a grab for his teeth, but was unable to hold on, and Kyanka counters with a stab that gets through the silver gauntlet. Cowman tries to scratch at him, but the attack just phases through the gnome's arm.  Two of Cowman's teeth and Belmole's foot bounce off the arena roof, four Z-levels up. A couple more teeth are partway up. Below, Antwoman's assault has put Pighead unconscious. Cowman seems unable to figure out what to do to Kyanka at this point. As the gnome ineffectually stabs back, Cowman grabs at the gnome's toes and nose, letting go right away each time. Stephen steps up to fight Bo now, and as the two duel, Antwoman's triple assault removes the goblin's head.  The teeth and foot finally begin to reach the ground. Cowman continues rotating Kyanka's extremities, as he finally finds a grip he likes and the gnome's hand is twisted into ruin. Bo continues being the only one to have any success on his team, as his sword catches Stephen in the arm and the lethal hammer is dropped.   Oh, stop whining. Cowman picks up Kyanka by one toe, and flips the gnome onto his horn. The horn scrambles Kyanka's skull like an egg. Only Bo remains. He's still surprisingly effective here, even outnumbered. A slash at Stephen's head breaks the snake's skull, ending his contribution to the fight. Belmole bleeds to death now. In the blink of an eye, he went from outnumbered 4 to 1 to halving that. Another slash, and he removes Antwoman's foot. A stab to Cowman's hand is too much for the minotaur, who also checks out. Well. I guess this match is down to a private duel between Bo and Antwoman. The human is going to rack up the kills even if he falls, though; two more attacks and Cowman dies.  Bo cuts off one of Antwoman's arms. It was the only one that wasn't holding a dagger. It was a horrific mistake on his part. Antwoman sinks her bronze dagger deep into his gut, and his intestines are torn to shreds. He collapses. Antwoman pulls her dagger out. He pukes, to whatever extent he still can. She cuts his head off. Kills Antwoman: 2 Bo: 2 A Lost Cowman: 1 Stephen Harper: 1 Combat Log
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Mar 18, 2016 07:24
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SynthOrange posted:Huh. I thought we had three commissioners. Four, actually, not counting Jazzimus who does more background, organizational and technical stuff than commissioning. It's just that Spermy and I are the only ones of the four actually running fights at the moment.
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Mar 18, 2016 07:27
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Spermy Smurf posted:Sorry guys, lovely week for me. Should be back on schedule next week. Aww, sorry to hear about that Spermy. But look! Look! We won! And look! Antwoman did things! Good things, even! Clearly, you're being rewarded for your misfortune. please have more lovely weeks so we keep winning please, tia
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Mar 18, 2016 07:30
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I paid you idiots to take a fall in the fourth, not to actually win 
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Mar 18, 2016 07:30
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Tunicate posted:I paid you idiots to take a fall in the fourth, not to actually win Then why did you bet on them? 
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Mar 18, 2016 07:32
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Shouldn't there be three kills for the losing team in the tally?
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Mar 18, 2016 09:26
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Maugrim posted:Shouldn't there be three kills for the losing team in the tally? No, Stephen was unconscious, but still alive. Do appreciate it when people double-check, though; I do make mistakes like that at times.
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Mar 18, 2016 09:34
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Stephen not dying means that the Zoo surpass the Dicks, 34 kills to 33 overall. Every death matters! (Only those incapable of causing death are worthless.)
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Mar 18, 2016 10:04
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That was a lot closer than I thought it would be. The two opponents up top opposite Antwoman were unarmored (or leather which is as good as). I figured with the tank getting hit a lot that Antwoman would have two quick kills. I did not expect the moleman to lose his battle (even 2v1), considering our talented snakeman down there providing support. Good win, but drat that was close. Edit: Read the logs and Bo went to loving town on all of our fighters. Everyone else was handled pretty easily, but he almost pulled a Dusseldorf on us. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:11 on Mar 18, 2016 |
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Mar 18, 2016 13:53
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Oh my god I did not expect that to be a win. I saw a dwarf with a greataxe and started having 'nam flashbacks. The betting ratio didn't help either. Stephen Harper has really been pulling his weight lately and I am loving pumped about that, considering that for the first couple matches of the tournament I was convinced he was going to be 100% useless.
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Mar 18, 2016 14:52
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Spermy Smurf posted:I did not expect the moleman to lose his battle (even 2v1), considering our talented snakeman down there providing support. Didn't even lose the damage race, lost the "bleed the gently caress out" race. Losing a foot at the start of the match means "end it quick", and uh. We did not.
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Mar 18, 2016 18:01
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Too much armor on all these darn opposing teams. (Also Richard Kyanka is a male gnome btw his is one of the dicks  )Edit: Also too many wrestlers
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Mar 18, 2016 19:46
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ZeeToo posted:Then why did you bet on them? I've contracted JonJoeitus
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Mar 19, 2016 06:52
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Tunicate posted:I've contracted JonJoeitus *hobbles forward on crutches, missing all teeth and a leg* If only I was the first to have the curse of cash. *shakes head sadly and hobbles off*
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Mar 19, 2016 16:19
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jon joe posted:*hobbles forward on crutches, missing all teeth and a leg* Even though I lost, your complete implosion puts me at #4 in the betting.
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Mar 21, 2016 03:37
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Thanks for holding down the fort, ZeeToo. And thanks for running the fight multiple times so that my team won.  Round 12, Fight 4 Spooky Scary Skeletons is on the left side of the arena. Tash Al'rhyn (tithin) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, copper greaves, and leather gauntlets. Three Gremlins in a Blender (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Bad Munki (Coward) is a male kobold. He wields a steel bow and wears a leather cap. Candy Corn Tiger (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm, an iron mail shirt, and bronze gauntlets. Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow is on the right side of the arena. Here comes Mongo! (Endorph) is a male troll. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. ShortName (ZeeToo) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm, a bronze mail shirt, a copper breast plate, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. Face (Godna) is a male troll. He wields a copper two-handed sword and wears a silver cap, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and silver high boots. Jakob (frankenfreak) is a male werewolf. He wields a bronze mace and wears a copper helm and leather armor.  There is no betting favorite in this match, as exactly 1323.00 dwarfbucks were bet on each side! I think we should all take a minute and notice that Jazz coded a specific set of wording for bets that are tied.  That's something that I always go "Oops, didn't think about that. Let me fix it now" after it's already happened. Well done, Jazz. That is some impressive attention to detail that I simply don't have.  The fighters line up.  Bad Munki fires his steel bow, the projectile flying true. Mongo gasps in pain as the arrow cuts through his stomach and pierces his liver, then exits his back. Mongo now leaves a snail trail of blood behind him as he limps toward the combat.  Not to be outdone the other troll, Face, gets a little overeager and loses his arm to Candy Corn's halberd in the opening seconds of combat.  It's not all fun and games for SSS. ShortName pierces Tash's leg with his spear, and the werewolf falls to the floor. In the same instant Candy Corn slices Face again and the troll falls over due to 'no working ligament syndrome' in his left foot. Mongo takes a pick to the head from Three Gremlins and Mongo checks out.  Bad Munki lets fly with another arrow... and well, you know. Jakob's left thigh is shattered by the steel arrowhead. Jakob passes out from pain.  Candy Corn stabs the prone Face once more and Face passes out. Hey, ShortName, how you doin there? All alone with 3 unconscious teammates. Things are not looking good.  Candy Corn chops off Mongo's head first.  And then Three Gremlins takes Jakobs head.  And Candy Corn takes Face's head next.  Now it's a 3v1 and Candy Corn takes ShortNames hand off.  ShortName refuses to give up. He stabs Tash in the head, and the werewolf passes out. Can ShortName get a kill for his team?  Bad Munki lets fly a third arrow, and I didn't bother recording it because why would I? He's already had his two lucky shots, there's no way he'll get 3 in a row right? The flying {steel arrow} strikes ShortName_13 in the upper body, tearing the muscle and tearing the middle spine's nervous tissue through the large copper breastplate! Welp. Shortname is paralyzed, but not unconscious. The moleman latches on to Tash with his teeth and thrashes back and forth while Three Gremlins and Candy Corn put their weapons deep into his body.  Candy Corn finally is able to cut ShortName in two. SSS wins with a flawless 4-0 victory. Good shooting, Bad Munki. Kills: Candy Corn: 3 Three Gremlins: 1 Combat Log
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Mar 21, 2016 18:51
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Man, that was a joy to read. Three Gremlins knocking out Mongo to set up Candy Corn for the kill, Bad Munki (Coward) KOing Jakob for TGiaB to kill, Tash keeping the Molemarian busy the entire fight, and when she passed out, the rest of the team Big drat Heroes to her rescue before SN could get a consolation kill. This was a major battle with regard the Playoffs: The Skeletons are now level on wins with the Horrorshow and ahead on kills. This in turn means Worker Cooperative vs Go Big and/or Go Home is huge. Both have the same number of wins as SSS and Team 13, both are second in their divisions, and both have very low kill differences: If either of them get whitewashed or otherwise lose badly, The Skeletons pull ahead as the 8th best team despite being 3rd in their division.
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Mar 21, 2016 19:35
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AJ_Impy posted:This in turn means Worker Cooperative vs Go Big and/or Go Home is huge Don't worry, I bought Jameson an extra level of "sword", so I'm sure we'll win handily  Seriously though where are all his points? Foster managers should get at least half of the missed participation points when they adopt an abandoned fighter! Equal rights make even fights! Equal skills for equal kills! Bonus points for broken joints!
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Mar 21, 2016 23:11
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So you are at level 1 now? So is Antwoman 
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Mar 22, 2016 01:21
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Thanks for saving my rear end friends! Tash works great for keeping people distracted.
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Mar 22, 2016 01:28
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 We needed that!
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Mar 22, 2016 02:10
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Spermy Smurf posted:Thanks for holding down the fort, ZeeToo. And thanks for running the fight multiple times so that my team won. See if I ever do anything nice for you again. 
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Mar 22, 2016 02:13
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| # ? May 10, 2024 13:34 |
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tithin posted:Thanks for saving my rear end friends! An armored molemarian is pretty much a hard counter to CCT or TGiaB: You saw the effort it took even after BM (C) paralysed it. If not for Tash, there'd be much less limb and head removal happening, and a much closer bout.
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Mar 22, 2016 02:14
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