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AJ_Impy posted:I refuse to acknowledge any virtue or value until it kills someone. Don't hate cuz he pretty~
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Mar 23, 2016 03:30
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AJ_Impy posted:I refuse to acknowledge any virtue or value until it kills someone.
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Mar 23, 2016 04:57
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Pickled Tink posted:Can you link that spreadsheet every time you talk about it? Not all of us bookmark the thing, and I have no desire to dig through 63 pages of thread to find it when I can instead be extra lazy and ask for it. It's in the third post of the thread. But here.
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Mar 23, 2016 06:58
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Look, when I said I was lazy, I meant it, unlike so many of you pseudo-nuevo-lazy people. I'm quite hoping for a Dentist win in their upcoming match. Not just because they are my team, but also because I would like to have dwarfbucks again.
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Mar 23, 2016 08:55
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Pickled Tink posted:Can you link that spreadsheet every time you talk about it? Not all of us bookmark the thing, and I have no desire to dig through 63 pages of thread to find it when I can instead be extra lazy and ask for it. I did the next best thing and asked Jazz to link it from the first few posts, which he did. For maximum laziness, I'm already looking at it for you, no need to poke those eyes into motion.
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Mar 23, 2016 09:34
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Pickled Tink posted:Can you link that spreadsheet every time you talk about it? Not all of us bookmark the thing, and I have no desire to dig through 63 pages of thread to find it when I can instead be extra lazy and ask for it. I don't know how you could lose track of the gladiators with 0 kills. They're all AJ ever talks about, and he never misses an opportunity to talk about how terrible they are. I choose to be more generous and assume that the gladiators with 0 kills this far into the tournament are conscientious objectors doing their best not to hurt anyone despite being forced into this whole depraved enterprise.
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Mar 23, 2016 15:36
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Add in the kill-stealers and we have more unblooded than the spreadsheet shows.
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Mar 23, 2016 15:50
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I vote anyone who makes it though the whole tournament unblooded be rewarded with an adamantium hammer prize to demonstrate their devotion to harmlessness.
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Mar 23, 2016 15:53
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Spermy Smurf posted:Add in the kill-stealers and we have more unblooded than the spreadsheet shows. A stolen kill is still a kill. (That said, next to impossible to keep track of stolen kills without a lot of extra work for both of us.)
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Mar 23, 2016 20:01
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 Round 12, Fight 3 Hell's Dentists, 8-3 and 1st in Gemclod, is on the left side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears leather gauntlets. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, iron gauntlets, and copper high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Worse Munki, 9-2 and 1st in Boatmurdered is on the right side of the arena. Experiment Twenty-Two (fallingdownjoe) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron long sword and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt. Strangler Than Fiction (Tunicate) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, a platinum mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and copper low boots. SRIRACHA FARTSTORM RETURNS (Pittsburgh Lambic) is a male elf. He wields a silver war hammer and wears leather leggings and leather high boots. Chaz Steadyfist (Segway Rave) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a silver helm, leather armor, leather leggings, and leather gauntlets.  Worse Munki is a 1.56 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3664.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2346.00 dwarfbucks for Hell's Dentists.  These teams are #1 in their divisions, looks like a badass fight coming up. We've got Chaz who I believe is in the lead for kills and Flynn on the other side who is maybe in 3rd place?  The fighters charge and it's a huge first blow for Madmartigan who capitalizes on Strangler biting him. A leg flies through the air, blood gushes from the wound.  Madmartigan chops into Stranglers arm with a second stroke, but then is paralyzed from the waist down by Experiment 22's sword. The two deadliest gladiators clash and Flynn blocks a blow and then takes off the werewolfs foot. Chaz falls to the floor!  Abominable throws Experiment 22 into the air and Madmartigan fractures the tigers arm and pulverizes his hand with back to back strikes. A bite from the moleman sends Experiment 22 into dreamland. Chaz swings at Flynn, but the dwarf blocks and plants his pick into Chaz's kidney. Chaz is not doing very well this fight. Down below we've got Krog and SRIRACHA dancing around, neither causing damage to the other.  Seems like people forgot about Strangler who is bleeding everywhere on the floor. The strangler somehow launches himself into the air and bites Madmartigan around the skull. A growl escapes Stranglers throat and Madmartigan passes out from the vise-like grip. Chaz, down and hurt badly, is not giving up. His halberd strikes Flynn in the neck for an instant decapitation! Or it would have, but Flynns armor protects him. Instead, Flynn takes off Chaz's arm.  Flynn does that awesome "Walk away from an explosion without even looking" thing as Chaz's arm is in the air. Seriously, he just walks away from Chaz who then bleeds to death about 30 lines of combat later. Kill goes to Flynn.  Flynn turned his energy to the unconscious tiger who is being bent and broken by Abominable. Abominable finally punches 22's skull into pieces. Meanwhile: SRIRACHA has been grounded by a fractured foot thanks to Krog Bonesmasha. That's about the first interesting thing that happened with the two elves so far to be honest.  The pic is wrong. It's a leg, not a head. Strangler has been biting Madmartigans head and thrashing around to tear muscles and arteries, but he has been unable to kill the huge moleman. Flynn arrives and takes his leg off, and strangler bleeds to death immediately.  And now it's on to the grounded SRIRACHA. Flynn picks his leg, Abominable bends his knee backwards (holy poo poo that must have hurt) and SRIRACHA passes out.  Flynn takes his third kill of the match. Kills: In Like Flynn: 3 Abominable: 1 Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 21:48 on Mar 23, 2016 |
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Mar 23, 2016 21:42
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Brutal.
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Mar 23, 2016 22:16
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jon joe posted:
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Mar 23, 2016 22:41
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It seems my mail-order Headcrabbing class didn't pay off.
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Mar 23, 2016 22:43
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Don't know why people thought worse munki would win there, they've got two great fighters and two mediocre ones, whereas the dentists are all terrifying.
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Mar 23, 2016 22:46
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Congrats Tink
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Mar 23, 2016 22:50
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Like most terrible things that happen, this is Bad Munki's fault. Dwarf Fortress finally caught onto who our team name was referring to and is adjusting the RNG accordingly.
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Mar 23, 2016 22:51
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Magnificent. After that bout, the Dentists overtake Munki, 40 kills to 39, the only result that could have managed that. Also, forty kills, only the second team to reach that milestone after the Animists. Chaz Steadyfist may have lost his duel with Flynn in spectacular style from the Dwarf, but he still holds the overall bragging rights. Flynn sweeps into second in the kill standings, just one behind the werewolf. Looking at the bigger picture, this is the first ever interdivisional whitewash round. Every single Gemclod team has beaten their Boatmurdered counterpart, only giving up 2 kills in the process. A quirk of the schedule made this a true matchup of equals, too: First against first, second against second and so on. The closest we came before were Syrupleaf taking Gemclod 15 kills to 7, immediately followed by Gemclod besting Syrupleaf 15 kills to 5. (This also serves as a salutary reminder that the interdivisional contest could still have twists and turns to come.) Gemclod are currently in the box seat to have the most representatives in the top 8.
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Mar 23, 2016 23:44
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Finally Chaz comes up against a real gladiator who shows him how to do it Thanks to my team to allow Flynn to steal another 2 kills
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Mar 24, 2016 00:20
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I have money! Hooray! And The Abominable Gladiator killed someone! Truly this is the best day ever.
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Mar 24, 2016 00:58
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Random bet method succeeds again.
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Mar 24, 2016 00:59
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 I just officially became a Flynn fanboy. From now on, half my money goes on Hell's Dentists to win, every round.
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Mar 24, 2016 01:37
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Holy poo poo what a fight this was. Editing my 40 pictures, combining into maybe 15 and then writing it up. Great way to end the round.
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Mar 24, 2016 12:41
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it's not great unless Albrik got at least three kills. victory is optional.
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Mar 24, 2016 13:26
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Round 12, Fight 7 Go big and/or go home (6-5) is on the left side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (habituallyred) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm and leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears an iron cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Worker Cooperative (6-5) is on the right side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a bronze scourge and wears leather armor, leather leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Jameson the Unruly (Cathode Raymond) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, leather armor, leather leggings, bronze gauntlets, and leather low boots. Worker Cooperative is a 1.90 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 6187.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 3254.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home.  Jazz has already implemented the records showing up in the boilerplate thing we copy/paste. I assume people are clapping right now. Still waiting on Mystery Boxes, and maybe records on the betting page though, so get to work.  The fighters clash. Slam Whale Willy maces Jameson in the right foot, the ankle bone exits skin and we get first blood. Jameson is floored before even making an attack!  Jameson, from the floor, sends his sword in a deadly arc and Slam Whale Willy's arm is severed.  Slam Whale looks down at his arm stump and Albrik chops his head off from behind. God drat that little dude is deadly.  3 Wolf Moon chops Jamesons teeth out, and then chops off his leg.  In the clusterfuck up top: Combat Liberalism finally gets a blow in and Hobbes is grounded with a torn up leg.  3 Wolf Moon looks Albrik in the eye and chops off Jamesons head. Then he does the "come at me, bro" thing and probably licks the blood off of the sword like some kind of sadistic freak in a B-horror movie.  And then 3 Wolf Moon turns tail and runs to help Snowshank and Hobbes. Combat Liberalism welcomes a dagger into his lungs courtesty of Snowshank, but places his own dagger delicately into Hobbes' spine. Hobbes is paralyzed and passes out. Unthrottle landed a great blow on Hobbes just before the tiger passed out as well. Snowshank has had enough of Combat's gremlin antics and takes off his left hand. It says he loses hold of the dagger, but I'm sure his hand is securely wrapped around the hilt as it flies through the air.  Now it's Combats turn to stare dumbly at his stump while Snowshank stabs him in the chest. Combat bleeds out immediately because gremlins have like 4 ounces of blood in their entire bodies.  Albrik arrives on the scene. Snowshanks armor prevents arm-loss, and then the huge yeti charges the little kobold. Albrik stands up and screams for Unthrottle to stop hitting the unconscious Hobbes.  Unthrottle actually listens and attacks 3 Wolf Moon. The scourge tears the wolfs hand apart. Unthrottle takes a light blow to his leg, and then lashes at Snowshank next. The yeti's right foot is fractured, and he falls to the floor. Albrik turns his attention to the downed Hobbes as both fighters turn on Unthrottle. Dick move, Albrik. Hobbes is being chopped open because Albrik can't get through his helmet. 3 Wolf Moon is really deadly today. Unthrottle dodges backwards, but the huge sword clips his elbow and the arm flies off.  Unthrottle is severely hurt, so he darts forward, ignoring a huge blow from 3 Wolf Moon and shatters Snowshanks other foot. The yeti passes out from the pain. Then the pain hits Unthrottle and the small kobold passes out as well. Albrik is covered in Hobbes blood and guts, but he refuses to help his smaller teammate.  3 Wolf Moon takes Unthrottles head off.  Albrik kicks the kidney, lungs, and guts away from his feet and adjusts the grip on his axe.  Albrik charges. 3 Wolf Moon ducks the axe and chops Albriks foot out from under him. Albrik falls to the floor. Albrik plants his axe in Snowshank and takes 3 blows from the werewolf. Albriks leg is chopped to poo poo.  And then from the floor Albrik mounts an offense! 3 Wolf Moon parries the first blow easily, barely parries the next blow and his brow draws down in concentration. Albrik swings high, 3 Wolf Moon brings his sword up to parry.... and Albrik slams the axe below the parry and deep into 3 Wolf Moon's kidney. 3 Wolf Moon passes out immediately.  Snowshank first.  Then finally 3 Wolf Moon.   Kills: Albrik: 4 3 Wolf Moon: 2 Snowshank: 1 Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:00 on Mar 24, 2016 |
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Mar 24, 2016 13:58
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On a completely different note... Does this happen to anyone else? Nothing lines up and I dont know if it's my new computer or what. 
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Mar 24, 2016 14:06
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great fight
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Mar 24, 2016 14:08
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Jesus. What were his injuries at the end?
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Mar 24, 2016 14:23
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Spermy Smurf posted:On a completely different note... Does this happen to anyone else?
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Mar 24, 2016 14:36
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Holy poo poo, you weren't kidding. Albrik and 3 Wolf both took their tallies to fifteen kills, the coveted triple ace mark. Here's how that, and the rest of the round, impacted the top ten leaderboard: 1st, Chaz Steadyfist, 20 kills 2nd, In Like Flynn, 19 kills 3rd=, James Largesausage, Dusseldwarf, 17 kills 5th=, Qwarf, Snarls Barkley, 16 kills 7th=, Albrik the Insignificant, 3 Wolf Moon Shirt, Jimbo Akimbo, 15 kills 10th, Srirarcha Fartstorm Returns, 14 kills Playoff standings: Go Big and the Skeletons occupy 8th and 9th respectively, separated by a single point of kill difference. Next up for the Skeletons are the top rated team in Boatmurdered, Worse Munki. Will Bad Munki (Coward) prove to be better than them? Go Big are up against the Plump Helmets, in the box seat of Syrupleaf. Can either team best a divisional leader, or will it be who loses valiantly that decides the places? The Horrorshow face the Furry, Farmer and Two cows, the worst team in Gemclod. They sit 3 points of kill difference adrift of Go Big and two from the Skeletons. There are three teams with 5/7 ratings, but their kill differences are unfavourable given the number of teams ahead of them. We're going to see some movement or we're going to see some upsets.
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Mar 24, 2016 14:39
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SynthOrange posted:Jesus. What were his injuries at the end? Not as bad as I thought they were. He was in "pain" the whole time at the end, plus being grounded.
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Mar 24, 2016 14:52
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Jameson underperformed again but that was a classy win overall. Sincerest congratulation to Comrade Albrik on his heroic contribution to Does Jameson's copper armor do anything at this point?
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Mar 24, 2016 15:51
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It probably does... just not against a huge two-handed iron sword.
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Mar 24, 2016 15:59
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most of the kills were set up for Albrik to steal in some way, so take heart, comrade, that even exploits of an individual must be owed to their team. except that last kill, that was all manno el manno action movie fight scene, baby, complete with dramatic reversal. i don't know if Albrik had any business winning that; i suspect the kidney shot was one of those rare moments when a ! opportunity shot actually involves a killer one shot blow as opposed to punching someone in the third toe, left foot.
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Mar 24, 2016 15:59
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Tiler Kiwi posted:most of the kills were set up for Albrik to steal in some way, so take heart, comrade, that even exploits of an individual must be owed to their team. Still disappointed in Albrik?
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Mar 24, 2016 17:15
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Round is over, update your fighters with your 9 points Forgot to post that.
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Mar 24, 2016 17:26
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I bought the Tonic an Iron buckler. He has no idea how to use it... He'll learn.
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Mar 24, 2016 17:28
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Okay I'm done, you can start the next round now.
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Mar 24, 2016 17:35
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All of Jameson's copper garbage sells for peanuts. I was going to try and sell all his armor and get an iron helmet/breastplate or maybe just a steel helmet but it's just not in the cards. Also, his skills and armor coverage are definitely set for him to be a tank, but he has a two hander instead of a shield and going all-copper for armor was probably short-sighted, because soon (and even now) they will not be enough to stop the latest in iron and steel weapons fielded by our despicable capitalist enemies 
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Mar 24, 2016 17:38
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I'm literally 6 points from a steel knife. I need to look at our playoff chances to even decide I should get it. Also look at how many points you get in the playoffs to see if I can get an adamantine dagger there if I buy it. Also see if I can do it if I don't buy it I really have no idea how many points the teams going into the playoffs...
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Mar 24, 2016 18:18
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Spermy Smurf posted:
Grimmik now whips even harder, prepare to feel the pain.
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