SAS Hockey Player Thread - Be old, be bad, be okay with it!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > SAS Hockey Player Thread - Be old, be bad, be okay with it!

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drizzle: Jul 7, 2004; The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.

Wow what a shithead, is the other guy pressing charges?

# ? Mar 25, 2016 22:51

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# ? May 12, 2024 00:19

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Habibi posted:

So last night was quite an experience. Context: my defensive partner is the long term gf of the teams AssCap, whom I've known and been friends with for 16+ years. She recently blew out her ACL, but is still playing with a brace until her surgery after the winter season because... I don't know, something about an upcoming tournament, but apparently her doctor is fine with it and it doesn't hurt. Anyway...

We're just past the halfway point of the game. We're on the pp and my defensive partner is chasing down a cleared puck, being pressured by one of their better players (who is much faster than her), trying to get it to me as I cut in from the other boards, when he leans in and shoulders her head/shoulders into the boards. She crumples face down while the play is blown dead for a penalty as he touches the puck. I'm slowly skating over to see how she's doing, worrying that she's hosed up her knee further, when I hear something and look up just in time as the AssCap, who'd been back checking, comes tearing through my field of vision, barrels into the offending player at full speed with his stick up, and breaks his face. The guy is screaming, grabbing his cheek, which is split open at the ridge down to what I expect would be the bone if not for all the blood pouring out and obscuring it. We find out after the game and after the medic has looked at him, that his cheek and his nose are broken.

The general consensus in the locker room was that it would have been acceptable to go after the guy with his fists (and my friend has several inches and at least sixty lbs on him), but what he pretty much used his stick as a weapon. There was one notable exception who gave him "props," but he was widely derided.

The league hasn't made a final decision yet, but I'm certain he's done for the season, possibly two, possibly for good. Wouldn't blame them, either. Interestingly, AssCap and gf and a handful of people on the other team know one another from other teams, etc...

And some overeager jerk on my team threw my towel to the screamer. Jeez. That was a souvenir towel, too.

gently caress.

Oh, right, and the game ended 4-4 (and we weren't able to do OT or shootout because so much time had been spent doing stupid things like cleaning blood off the ice).

I've never even seen anything like this.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 00:00

bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

hahahaha "protecting your girlfriend"

# ? Mar 26, 2016 00:01

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

Hey baby, remember that time I defended your honour on a borderline-but-kind-of-routine play by committing assault. Anyone gently taps you in a contact sport you better believe they getting hosed up. tru love 4 lyfe

# ? Mar 26, 2016 00:12

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

I think it's time I invested in a new C/A protector. I took a slapshot blocker side today at pickup in Atlanta and it hit my forearm right below the elbow. I thought I broke my loving arm but luckily it was just a severe bruise. Managed to finish the skate, so that's a plus.

In other news, my home rink is back up from 8 months of repair and league play starts April 10th :unsmith:

# ? Mar 26, 2016 00:23

Hockles: Dec 25, 2007; Resident of ~~Camp Blood~~
Crystal Lake

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

I've never even seen anything like this.

That's when you know that was some crazy poo poo. When that doesn't even happen at the Thunderdome.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 00:51

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

Unless I'm reading it wrong, that's a hell of a cross check?

# ? Mar 26, 2016 02:06

Habibi: Dec 8, 2004; We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Chemmy posted:

Was that at Sharks Ice? That stuff always happens with the boyfriend and girlfriend teammates.

Yes, and yeah the topic of playing on a team with your SO definitely came up in the locker room.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:05

Pinky Artichoke: Apr 10, 2011; Dinner has blossomed.

Uncontrollable urge to finish anyone who accidentally hurts me is my husband's excuse for not playing.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:27

T-Bone: Sep 14, 2004; jakes did this?

I saw a someone literally break their stick over another player's head.

In bantam.

Also witnessed a 20+ man (and woman) brawl between parents at the same rink that was started by an extra from Slap Shot (who was coaching one of the teams).

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:42

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

Get violent, we're wearing armor ffs

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:45

Hockles: Dec 25, 2007; Resident of ~~Camp Blood~~
Crystal Lake

T-Bone posted:

I saw a someone literally break their stick over another player's head.

Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYO0-nAjf-c

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:52

T-Bone: Sep 14, 2004; jakes did this?

Hockles posted:

Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYO0-nAjf-c

hahaha that was the loving executioner, no -- this was more of a baseball swing.

e: this video though, holy crap thank you this made my day -- the sound of it alone.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Mar 26, 2016

# ? Mar 26, 2016 05:53

Bootcha: Nov 13, 2012; Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending; Grimey Drawer

Hockles posted:

Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYO0-nAjf-c

Holy gently caress, just like in the cartoons.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 09:08

Brettbot: Sep 18, 2006; After All The Prosaic Waiting... The Sun Finally Crashes Into The Earth.

So I bought a new stick yesterday and noticed something interesting:

That's an uncut Intermediate Easton (65 flex) next to my new Bauer (67 flex). I picked up the Bauer on final clearance because I was amazed that the blade actually sat flat on the ground when I held it in front of me. I know I've posted here before about my trouble with having too much heel on all my sticks, which always confused me because I'm 6' tall yet use Intermediate sticks. Maybe it was just an Easton problem all this time. Note the totally different flex marks down the shaft, too.
It's hard to get a good picture by myself, but this is what all of my Easton sticks look like, whether Zetterberg or Iginla curve:

That's with my arm straight at my side, standing straight up. If I squatted down into a hockey stance, there would be even more heel.

Brettbot fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Mar 26, 2016

# ? Mar 26, 2016 14:43

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Brettbot posted:

So I bought a new stick yesterday and noticed something interesting:

That's an uncut Intermediate Easton (65 flex) next to my new Bauer (67 flex). I picked up the Bauer on final clearance because I was amazed that the blade actually sat flat on the ground when I held it in front of me. I know I've posted here before about my trouble with having too much heel on all my sticks, which always confused me because I'm 6' tall yet use Intermediate sticks. Maybe it was just an Easton problem all this time. Note the totally different flex marks down the shaft, too. It's hard to get a good picture by myself, but this is what all of my Easton sticks look like, whether Zetterberg or Iginla curve:

That's with my arm straight at my side, standing straight up. If I squatted down into a hockey stance, there would be even more heel.

May want to look at a curve with a lower lie. Should flatten the blade out a bit when you're in your hockey stance.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 15:46

Brettbot: Sep 18, 2006; After All The Prosaic Waiting... The Sun Finally Crashes Into The Earth.

Vargatron posted:

May want to look at a curve with a lower lie. Should flatten the blade out a bit when you're in your hockey stance.

They're 5 and 5.5 lie, so they don't come any lower unless you get into Jr sticks that come in 4 lie.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 16:28

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Then I don't really have anything helpful for you then

You must have a super low stance.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 17:46

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Pre-season game week here.

During my Wednesday game, a dude on the other team speared one of our guys. On his way to the box he head-butted another. He got 2x 5-minutes and a game. He got thrown out after the second major, and as he was skating off, he spit at our players on the ice. Pre-season game.

Just saw a pic on Facebook from a guy on my former Friday-night team. They were up by 5 with a minute left in the game and it looks like a melee broke out or something. His pic is of his face, with a broken nose in 2 places, and his ear got "torn" and his lip split open. There's a handful of ejections for fighting and third man in.

The Return of the Thunderdome: PRESEASON edition.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 18:03

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

And you keep showing up to this, why?

# ? Mar 26, 2016 20:34

Bootcha: Nov 13, 2012; Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending; Grimey Drawer

xzzy posted:

And you keep showing up to this, why?

Somewhere in the midst of that shitshow, there's a hockey game to be played.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 20:42

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

I love hockey as much as the next guy but there's got to be a point where the threat of being permanently maimed overrides that enjoyment.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 20:49

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

Your league manager is a loving tooljob that should not be in charge of anything.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 21:08

dogstile: May 1, 2012; fucking clocks
how do they work?

Part of me is horrified.

The other part desperately wants video footage of some of this.

# ? Mar 26, 2016 21:29

calandryll: Apr 25, 2003; Ask me where I do my best drinking!; Pillbug

I'm just waiting for hidden razorblades and poo poo to be used during a game. Same place that the dude poo poo in the glove or was that another guy?

# ? Mar 27, 2016 00:05

Hockles: Dec 25, 2007; Resident of ~~Camp Blood~~
Crystal Lake

I played in a charity drop-in tonight to help raise funds for a guy (mid 20s) in our hockey community who had a brain tumor removed and is currently undergoing chemo. Best philanthropy I've done.

I think we raised nearly $1000 for him and his family. Hockey is the best.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 01:44

doctor 7: Oct 10, 2003; In the grim darkness of the future there is only Oakley.

What the gently caress are you guys playing prison leagues?

# ? Mar 27, 2016 03:57

sellouts: Apr 23, 2003

I can't believe there isn't a market for a set of private drop ins each week that are created for people who don't want to put up with that poo poo.

It blows my mind how anyone can put up with that poo poo going on.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 05:49

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Options are pretty limited when you only have one rink within an hour drive.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 05:55

Habibi: Dec 8, 2004; We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

The Return of the Thunderdome: PRESEASON edition.

Along similar lines, the aftermath of that white knight incident ended up being four broken cheek bones and a broken nose + a bunch of stitches. My buddy has two hearings scheduled - one with the league and one with USA Hockey. Yeesh.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 06:50

Soal_Fish: Jul 20, 2004; yes its Soal not Soul but oh well

Probably should be another one with the police tbh

# ? Mar 27, 2016 07:01

doctor 7: Oct 10, 2003; In the grim darkness of the future there is only Oakley.

Soal_Fish posted:

Probably should be another one with the police tbh

Seriously, that is a loving crime.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 07:53

Habibi: Dec 8, 2004; We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Not going to get an argument from me. I suspect the possibility of charges will come up at one or both of the hearings.

# ? Mar 27, 2016 08:05

V for Vegans: Jan 30, 2009

calandryll posted:

I'm just waiting for hidden razorblades and poo poo to be used during a game. Same place that the dude poo poo in the glove or was that another guy?

The glove making GBS threads was in the New England hockey league I think, unless that's a more common incident that I thought.

# ? Mar 28, 2016 05:28

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

It should be tbh

# ? Mar 28, 2016 05:49

D C: Jun 20, 2004; 1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING

Hockles posted:

Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYO0-nAjf-c

Some guy did this to me in youth hockey, except he missed, his stick grazed my shoulder and hit the ice.

He didnt get kicked out because the ref said "it didnt hit me".

# ? Mar 28, 2016 06:38

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

I'm just waiting for:

"...and now he works in the NHL department of player safety."

# ? Mar 28, 2016 07:26

Loqieu: Feb 27, 2001

Sounds like Mutant League Hockey finally became reality.

# ? Mar 28, 2016 08:29

Verman: Jul 4, 2005; Third time is a charm right?

Mutant league hockey should become a reality.

If they made that game now I would probably play it more than NHL16

# ? Mar 28, 2016 16:12

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# ? May 12, 2024 00:19

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Verman posted:

Mutant league hockey should become a reality.

If they made that game now I would probably play it more than NHL16

Pffft, you should have stopped playing that when The Division came out anyway.

# ? Mar 28, 2016 17:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > SAS Hockey Player Thread - Be old, be bad, be okay with it!

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