Tech Nightmares: Ghostline the flux

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How many quarters after Q1 2016 till Marissa Mayer is unemployed?
	1 or fewer
	2
	4
	Her job is guaranteed; what are you even talking about?

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

Radbot posted:

Why are libertarians so loving deluded that they completely lack the ability to envision a scenario where having a corporate board decide everything doesn't go super well for the average citizen? I mean, it's one thing to be enthused about an idea despite the downsides, but these folks seem incapable of even imagining them.

Because they can't picture themselves not being on the board that'd deciding everything.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:07

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# ? May 15, 2024 19:11

pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

Yeah I think that's a pretty good gist.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:53

Ccs: Feb 25, 2011

His vision sounds both great and absolutely deluded. I think that's the main problem with libertarians, that magical thinking gets in the way of them supporting stuff that's more common sense. The best case realistic result of his plan would probably be a resort city.

I like how he brings up Hong Kong as something near to what he wants, when 50,000 people in Hong Kong literally live in cages.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:45

sbaldrick: Jul 19, 2006; Driven by Hate

Pimpmust posted:

Back to startups, anyone posted this? A couple weeks old but holy poo poo
The Futurist Start-Up Sui Generis Is Uber, but for Techno-Socialist City States

Choice picks:
"corporate socialist"
"Free market, designed for pleasure and freedom."
"We don’t really believe in democracy."

I'm surprised they are from Montreal, do it guess it will be full of strippers and gangs

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:50

Condiv: May 7, 2008; Sorry to undo the effort of paying a domestic abuser $10 to own this poster, but I am going to lose my dang mind if I keep seeing multiple posters who appear to be Baloogan.

With love,
a mod

Mozi posted:

I hadn't heard about fizzbuzz before but had the same thought as some of you ('it can't be that simple, right?') Came up with my own solution then checked online - I have to think that an interviewer would prefer a straightforward and readable solution over something like this?
code:
def replaceMultiples(x: Int, rs: (Int, String)*) =
	rs map {case (n, s) => Either cond (x % n == 0, s, x)} reduceLeft ((a, b) =>
	a fold ((_ => b), (s => b fold ((_ => a), (t => Right(s + t))))))

 def fizzbuzz(n: Int) =
	replaceMultiples(n, 3 -> "Fizz", 5 -> "Buzz") fold ((_ toString), identity)

 1 to 100 map fizzbuzz foreach println
Which I think is neat but I wouldn't want to deal with it unless there's a good reason for it. Guess we're straying from the thread topic anyways.

that code is insane and I'm not sure why it has to be

code:

def fizzBuzz(n: Int): String = (n % 3, n % 5) match {
  case (0, 0) => "fizzbuzz"
  case (0,_) => "fizz"
  case (_,0) => "buzz"
  case _ => n.toString
}

1 to 100 foreach (n => println(fizzBuzz(n)))

if(n
def replaceMultiples(x:Int, rs: (Int, String)*) = {

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:51

terrorist ambulance: Nov 5, 2009

Condiv posted:

that code is insane and I'm not sure why it has to be
code:
def fizzBuzz(n: Int): String = (n % 3, n % 5) match {
  case (0, 0) => "fizzbuzz"
  case (0,_) => "fizz"
  case (_,0) => "buzz"
  case _ => n.toString
}

1 to 100 foreach (n => println(fizzBuzz(n)))
if(n
def replaceMultiples(x:Int, rs: (Int, String)*) = {

Interesting thoughts about unicorns. thanks

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:39

Adventure Pigeon: Nov 8, 2005; I am a master storyteller.

Pimpmust posted:

Back to startups, anyone posted this? A couple weeks old but holy poo poo
The Futurist Start-Up Sui Generis Is Uber, but for Techno-Socialist City States

Choice picks:
"corporate socialist"
"Free market, designed for pleasure and freedom."
"We don�t really believe in democracy."

I like that they think government regulation is the major thing stifling science when it's usually just lack of resources (the majority of which come from the government to begin with). The dude played Bioshock one too many times and has just enough sense not to try to build his city underwater.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:49

Kim Jong Il: Aug 16, 2003

axeil posted:

Hiring is a problem all over the place it seems. Here's a horror story of when I was in government and we were trying to hire an economist. The person who was screening the applicants had no idea what quantitative modeling was and kept throwing us people without ph.ds in economics who had no idea what a regression even was. They then got pissed we rejected all their candidates.

And then when we finally got some ph.d people we'd interview them and they wouldn't get offered for another month and the HR people were confused why they all declined (it's because a bunch of financial shops were able to interview and offer them within a week instead of 2+ months plus they got paid about 50% more).

The one thing the government needs is a complete overhaul of its hiring practices for anyone above entry-level. It's an absolute joke and the main reason they can't get any talent in the door.

It's not just government, this is my experience at one of the largest corporations in America. Which is incredibly bureaucratic and reminds me of government in many ways.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:14

Arcteryx Anarchist: Sep 15, 2007; Fun Shoe

My (psuedo) government workplace put in an accelerated hiring process for certain disciplines. They turned it into a two day event (after phone screens) where candidates go through a bunch of different interview panels and at the end of the day, everyone gives their opinions and the candidates are called that evening to tell them we would like to extend an offer. The next day they come back and go through some hr stuff and get their official offers.

We don't do it all the time since it's hard to coordinate, and there's a ramp up period to get enough candidates to make it worthwhile, but compared to how long the process can otherwise be its an improvement.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 07:53

sbaldrick: Jul 19, 2006; Driven by Hate

Adventure Pigeon posted:

I like that they think government regulation is the major thing stifling science when it's usually just lack of resources (the majority of which come from the government to begin with). The dude played Bioshock one too many times and has just enough sense not to try to build his city underwater.

They don't seem to understand that pretty much all major science historically is paid for by the government or semi-government entities (noblemen basically). Honestly I can't think of any major invention that basically isn't back by the government in some way in order to really exist.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 17:14

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

sbaldrick posted:

They don't seem to understand that pretty much all major science historically is paid for by the government or semi-government entities (noblemen basically). Honestly I can't think of any major invention that basically isn't back by the government in some way in order to really exist.

No you see, at Bell Labs where every Great American Physicist did their Nobel-winning work _{which was only possible because the US postwar telecom market was essentially a monopoly and AT&T/Bell indistinguishable from a nationalised company} :corsair:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:05

sbaldrick: Jul 19, 2006; Driven by Hate

blowfish posted:

No you see, at Bell Labs where every Great American Physicist did their Nobel-winning work _{which was only possible because the US postwar telecom market was essentially a monopoly and AT&T/Bell indistinguishable from a nationalised company}

And massive government contracts and grants that paid for all the Nobel-winning work of course.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:00

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Lord, take me now.

quote:

In recent years, venture capitalists have funded all manner of improbable ideas. An app that lets random people call and wake you up. A bathroom scale that posts your weight on Twitter.

And then there is Doug Evans�s brainchild. With no experience running tech companies and a bungled juice-bar chain under his belt, he has extracted a remarkable $120 million in investments from Silicon Valley titans, including Google Ventures and Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, and big companies like Campbell Soup.

His pitch: a $700 machine that makes an 8-ounce glass of juice.

Mr. Evans is a raw-food evangelist, although �occasionally I eat steamed vegetables, to not be dogmatic,� he said. He wears shoes made of hemp. But even as Silicon Valley retreats from its recent boom, this unlikely entrepreneur has persuaded top investors to throw their money at one of the most enigmatic start-ups in years.

His company, Juicero, opens for business this week. But what is it?

Is it a juice-ordering app? Is it just another kitchen-counter contraption? Or is it a 111,000-square-foot food processing factory, staffed by dozens of hourly workers, washing and slicing up fruits and vegetables in Los Angeles?

It is all of these things. �It�s the most complicated business that I�ve ever funded,� said David Krane, a partner at GV, formerly Google Ventures. �It�s software. It�s consumer electronics. It�s produce and packaging.�

Many of the tycoons who inhabit Silicon Valley are obsessed with health and longevity while harboring the conviction that technology can improve anything, even one of nature�s most elementary foodstuffs � in this case, juice. And they believe that niche trends, if properly disrupted, can become billion-dollar markets. Juicero is the latest expression of these techno-utopian impulses.

It is also the latest example of an unproved start-up raising enormous sums of money. Born in an earlier era in the Valley, the headier times of 18 months or so ago, Mr. Evans�s idea captivated some of the industry�s most ambitious investors. In today�s more conservative financing environment, such a pitch might not get funded.

No matter. In coming days, Juicero starts taking orders.

The machine itself is a white plastic slab roughly the size of a food processor. To get some juice, you insert a pouch that resembles an IV bag and press a button. A couple of minutes later, a thin stream of vividly colored liquid squirts into a glass.

For health nuts willing to pay a premium, Juicero promises the platonic ideal of juice. Plus, the machine never needs to be cleaned.

But getting from farm to glass involves a daunting mix of hardware, code and food processing. The arrangement relies on a smartphone app, always-on Wi-Fi, QR codes, high-tech packaging and an army of workers slicing fruits and vegetables in very particular ways.

Ultimately, however, what makes Juicero so special is not quantifiable by conventional science, said Mr. Evans, the founder and chief executive.

�Not all juice is equal,� he said. �How do you measure life force? How do you measure chi?�

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:21

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

can't you buy a juicer for a lot less

you just put fruit in and get juice it's not even hard

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:23

nachos: Jun 27, 2004; Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

�It�s software. It�s consumer electronics. It�s produce and packaging.�

It's loving nespresso for juice

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:26

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

What the gently caress do you need wifi for on a juicer? Even worse, it runs on premade packets, so there's absolutely no reason to put it on a network. I'm also fairly certain that packaging and sterilizing the fruit mixture involves processing the product, so it's not even suited for raw food enthusiasts, who would be infinitely better off just buying fruits and juicing them anyway.

How are people this bad with money?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:27

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Is it just a Kuerig machine for juice? Cause that's what it sounds like.

Some dipshit posted:

�Not all juice is equal,� he said. �How do you measure life force? How do you measure chi?�

Okay, if this dipshit can scam millions out of VCs, why can't I?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:27

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

i literally do not understand this product. like with even really stupid poo poo like taskrabbit i get why you would maybe use it

this is just a juicer

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:28

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Dirk the Average posted:

What the gently caress do you need wifi for on a juicer? Even worse, it runs on premade packets, so there's absolutely no reason to put it on a network. I'm also fairly certain that packaging and sterilizing the fruit mixture involves processing the product, so it's not even suited for raw food enthusiasts, who would be infinitely better off just buying fruits and juicing them anyway.

How are people this bad with money?

the network is to check whether the packet is expired OVER THE INTERNET and so it can update with new information if they release new juice products even though you could a) code the expiry date and name and poo poo into the codes on the package or b) just write it on there and let someone look at it with their eyes that they have to look at things with

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:29

silence_kit: Jul 14, 2011; by the sex ghost

Adventure Pigeon posted:

I like that they think government regulation is the major thing stifling science when it's usually just lack of resources (the majority of which come from the government to begin with). The dude played Bioshock one too many times and has just enough sense not to try to build his city underwater.

I don't know if lack of resources is really what stifles applied scientific research. There's already a lot of junk science and research that is out there (a tonne of academic publications are never cited and only serve as bullet points on a resume) and it could be argued that funding applied science research more heavily would only attract more low value "me-too" research. That argument shouldn't be to hard for people in this thread to accept--we are in the thread where people constantly bitch about how the over-investment in startup companies leads to me-too companies which don't add any value.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:31

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

corn in the bible posted:

can't you buy a juicer for a lot less

you just put fruit in and get juice it's not even hard

Juicers, the kind that will handle vegetables, are a right bitch to clean. Clearly I need a $700 device plus $8 per glass to solve this problem.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:31

Cicero: Dec 17, 2003; Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

corn in the bible posted:

i literally do not understand this product. like with even really stupid poo poo like taskrabbit i get why you would maybe use it

this is just a juicer

Yes, but do conventional juicers boost your life force and chi?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:43

DeathSandwich: Apr 24, 2008; I fucking hate puzzles.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Juicers, the kind that will handle vegetables, are a right bitch to clean. Clearly I need a $700 device plus $8 per glass to solve this problem.

I mean, even if you hated juicer machines because they were a bitch to clean up, you can always get your raw fruits and veggies in liquid form kick by buying a $60 blender and making smoothies.

Blenders are *way* easier to clean than juicers, and you get the added benefit of getting the pulp/fiber with your emulsified plant embryos.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:43

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

I think we can all agree that the question "How do you measure Chi?" is a vital one, both in the search for good juicers and for solving the problems of America. Nay, the world.

We really are living in a truly special time. I can't for my grandkids to ask me about living in the bay area in the 2010's, curious to know how so many smart people could invest 120 million dollars in a juice keurig. This must be what it was like living in 1930's appeasement Europe or the Antebellum south.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:44

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

i mean, i kind of get that it's different because it's a cold press, and engineering wise that's kind of neat, but you can literally buy a bottle of cold-pressed juice for half the price of one of those bags and also not have a giant proprietary fuckoff press on your counter

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:45

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

It really seems like some people just have an insatiable hard-on for a hyper-automated life like the Jetsons or Wallace and Gromit, where you can literally just press a button and your internet-connected toaster downloads some bread so it's all toasted and buttered by the time your iJuicer has squirted out Tuesday's scheduled juice flavour.

In the fantasy we can just keep adding computers to mundane appliances until we're living in a techno-utopian world where our houses are all pristine white like Apple stores and we need never sully ourselves with chores, except in reality it just means you end up spending your evenings fixing a security flaw in your lightswitch and installing new firmware in your shoes.

Edit: Haha you didn't include this amazing quote:

quote:

�Juice is trending,�� said Colleen Wachob, a former Organic Avenue employee who is now chief brand officer at MindBodyGreen, a lifestyle website. �He�s been into this since before it was cool.�

Boy, I sure wish I'd been into juice before all the plebs got on board. It's probably too late to start now, juice is so loving mainstream. Heh.

TACD fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:47

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

TACD posted:

It really seems like some people just have an insatiable hard-on for a hyper-automated life like the Jetsons or Wallace and Gromit, where you can literally just press a button and your internet-connected toaster downloads some bread so it's all toasted and buttered by the time your iJuicer has squirted out Tuesday's scheduled juice flavour.

I know we are heading towards a peak tech endgame because startup products and services seem to be increasingly directed toward serving the needs of other tech people. Who the gently caress wants a 700 dollar cold press juicer that requires prepackaged and blended packets? I mean, if you buy this product, you lose the incredible self satisfaction and air of haughty smugness that comes from paying Whole Foods 3 dollars for an organic orange. I suppose you could put your juice packets in the Whole Foods green tote bag, but that's about it.

You would have to really be enamored with the slick polish and technology gadgetry of a wifi juicer to want to be a part of this AND have a comically huge disposable income that allows you to pay for it. The place those two things intersect is in the wallets of those living in Silicon Valley.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:03

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

quote:

�Not all juice is equal,� he said. �How do you measure life force? How do you measure chi?�

Sorry to quote this again, but - how exactly does he measure life force?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:16

karthun: Nov 16, 2006; I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Mozi posted:

Sorry to quote this again, but - how exactly does he measure life force?

For a small investment of 120 million I will show you. I call it lForce.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:17

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

DeathSandwich posted:

I mean, even if you hated juicer machines because they were a bitch to clean up, you can always get your raw fruits and veggies in liquid form kick by buying a $60 blender and making smoothies.

Blenders are *way* easier to clean than juicers, and you get the added benefit of getting the pulp/fiber with your emulsified plant embryos.

But then I wouldn't have hundreds of minimum-wage workers doing all the prep work for me. Look, I'm a busy woman, I don't want to spend more than 2 minutes in the kitchen a day. It cuts into my meditation time.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:24

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

cheese posted:

We really are living in a truly special time. I can't for my grandkids to ask me about living in the bay area in the 2010's, curious to know how so many smart people could invest 120 million dollars in a juice keurig. This must be what it was like living in 1930's appeasement Europe or the Antebellum south.

Europe at least had the excuse of not having recovered from WW1, France in particular among the big countries, since it had lost a ton of the men who would ordinarily be assisting in the production of babies. (On top of its already low fertility rate.) By the time Germany was gearing up for war, it had roughly twice the population of France with a greater proportion of men of fighting age. I mean, it was still the wrong decision in hindsight, but there was a clear reason why it was chosen.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:52

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

WampaLord posted:

Is it just a Kuerig machine for juice? Cause that's what it sounds like.

Okay, if this dipshit can scam millions out of VCs, why can't I?

Do you have a conscious?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:57

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Europe at least had the excuse of not having recovered from WW1, France in particular among the big countries, since it had lost a ton of the men who would ordinarily be assisting in the production of babies. (On top of its already low fertility rate.) By the time Germany was gearing up for war, it had roughly twice the population of France with a greater proportion of men of fighting age. I mean, it was still the wrong decision in hindsight, but there was a clear reason why it was chosen.

The comparison was more about "a time before a momentous event that changed everything", and less "time when people were doing dumb stuff".

Either way this is hilarious.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:01

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

duz posted:

Do you have a conscious?

I'd like to think that I do, but the weaker part of me says that I'd give it up in a heartbeat for that much cash.

I guess after a year or two I'd snap and make a press announcement saying "Sorry, this has all been a giant ripoff, you should just buy a juicer or a blender instead. But I'm not giving back the money."

E: VVV Yea, I realize he doesn't get $120 million personally, but I'm loving sure he's minimum paying himself six figures, and also using the company credit card to pay for everything his heart desires.

WampaLord fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:02

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

WampaLord posted:

I'd like to think that I do, but the weaker part of me says that I'd give it up in a heartbeat for that much cash.

I guess after a year or two I'd snap and make a press announcement saying "Sorry, this has all been a giant ripoff, you should just buy a juicer or a blender instead. But I'm not giving back the money."

Just to be clear, the 120 million invested is not like, in the founders bank account or something. I'm sure he is getting paid a really, really nice salary out of that money and would become mega rich if the company ended up being wildly successful, but I don't think hes got his own private flotilla of yachts quite yet.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:05

SeaWolf: Mar 7, 2008

How is this even a juicer?? What fruit is this thing juicing? The juice comes in Capri-Sun pouches that you just hook up to it and it pours into a glass! Oh, I think I just disrupted the disuptor that's trying to disrupt! Why not cut out the $700 middleman and use a 10 cent straw!
I think I need to move to Silicon Valley, I have plenty of stupid ideas. I just didn't think anyone would be even stupider to throw piles of cash at them. Clearly I'm mistaken.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:11

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Some people drink a glass of juice to replace a meal so the market clearly has decided that there is a niche for a juice that costs the same as a meal.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:16

PenguinKnight: Apr 6, 2009

Mozi posted:

Sorry to quote this again, but - how exactly does he measure life force?

Maybe he invented a dbz scouter

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:18

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

cheese posted:

The comparison was more about "a time before a momentous event that changed everything", and less "time when people were doing dumb stuff".

Either way this is hilarious.

Well, given the instability of the years after WW1, I wonder how many people would consider the lead-up to WW2 as "a time before a momentous event that changed everything", before the war really got under way? I can see the comparison (sort of*) on the other side of this stuff, with the US and USSR ascendant, but before? Sure, the build up of tensions was perhaps obvious, but probably much less so that it would so fundamentally change the world.

*Like, bubbles, as people have said in this thread, aren't exactly a rarity. By the time you have grandkids there could have been a few more. Or something actually world changing could have happened, like the US no longer being willing or able to maintain its current empire against the Chinese.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:18

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# ? May 15, 2024 19:11

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

PenguinKnight posted:

Maybe he invented a dbz scouter

The Scoutr app.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:19

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