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Spermy Smurf posted:I don't get how Petting Zoo is the favorite. I mean, I'm glad and all, but I give us a 50/50 chance of winning this thing. The guys are too big and too armored for our team. I mean, technically that means I don't have any incorrect targets - I don't see how we can lose!
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Apr 5, 2016 13:51
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| # ? May 12, 2024 01:55 |
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I've bet my entire life savings on my team to continue their glorious winning streak and beat Worse Monki into the dirt. Don't disappoint me, Min/Maxotaur.
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Apr 5, 2016 14:43
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 !!!!
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Apr 5, 2016 14:52
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I like to be happy either way. If we win I'm happy, if I win money it's a consolation prize... I'm really worried about this fight. I might actually downgrade my guesstimate to a 40% chance of winning. Antwoman doesn't do well with armored opponents or wrestlers. She'll get punched/scratched/gored by a troll and die in the first 4 lines of combat. Cowman will do well, but Simon's scourge won't get through armor either. We've yet to see Stephens hammer break bones, and he'll be doing it through armor as well. That being said, everyone should bet on Petting Zoo so I can take home more money if we lose. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Apr 5, 2016 |
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Apr 5, 2016 14:55
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Spermy Smurf posted:Antwoman doesn't do well
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Apr 5, 2016 15:08
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You shut your dirty whorish mouth. She does almost as good as Jimbo, and the only reason she has less kills is because my teammates actually help. 
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Apr 5, 2016 15:13
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Oh god I just ran Jimbo vs Antwoman and Antwoman lost 12 times out of 12 attempts. It wasn't even close in any of them. God damnit.
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Apr 5, 2016 15:35
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Spermy Smurf posted:Oh god I just ran Jimbo vs Antwoman and Antwoman lost 12 times out of 12 attempts. the true misery is running it 12 times against the same Jimbo
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Apr 5, 2016 15:38
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I spent my points on a stretcher.
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Apr 5, 2016 15:43
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Spermy Smurf posted:Oh god I just ran Jimbo vs Antwoman and Antwoman lost 12 times out of 12 attempts. Everything is as it should be. 
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Apr 5, 2016 15:46
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 I'm going to unlock and start the next round. Place those bets people!Ran more tests. 2v2 and 3v3 the team of Antwomen won 6 out of 6 times. Alone she loses every time. What the hell.
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Apr 5, 2016 15:57
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Spermy Smurf posted:
clearly jimbo doesn't PTFO
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Apr 5, 2016 15:59
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Bets have been placed! On my own team. Speaking of:ChickenWing posted:
You traitor. I thought we were friends, a team... That said I do agree with your assessment and all. We probably won't win this unless Antwoman manages a clutch martial trance or something. She is a dwarf right? She looks like another one that I know, at least.
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Apr 5, 2016 16:00
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Spermy Smurf posted:Ran more tests. 2v2 and 3v3 the team of Antwomen won 6 out of 6 times. Something something hivemind, obviously. Wait, might that actually be a thing in Dwarf Fortress?
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Apr 5, 2016 16:00
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fallingdownjoe posted:Something something hivemind, obviously. I wouldn't discount it. How would four copies of Antwoman do against the Animists? All dwarves vs all antpeople.
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Apr 5, 2016 16:24
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Elf strikers using maces and hammers are the true clutch build of the tourney.
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Apr 5, 2016 17:24
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Ramc posted:I have peasants to do that for me.  Your peasants may have failed to report this since I know for a fact all your betpeasants are insufferable yes-men who would never risk bringing you bad news. That's why I employ only the most vocal and free-spirited betpeasants in all my dealings. Also I bet it all on  because I believe my team can overcome anything. That's how deeply I believe. So you should all bet on the other team whoever that may be.
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Apr 5, 2016 18:08
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I bet all of my money on my team, because even though I barely even know who the other three people in it are, I have to stand up for Apeliminator.
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Apr 5, 2016 18:19
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Round 14, Fight 1 Hell's Dentists (9-4) is on the left side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap and leather gauntlets. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. This Bites (3-10) is on the right side of the arena. Knife Toseeu (synthorange) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears no armor. Sun Tzulander the Philomodel (Keru) is a male elf. He is empty handed and wears a leather cap, a silver mail shirt, and platinum low boots. Roland Gorchnik (Maarak) is a male human. He wields a copper scourge and wears an iron cap, leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Eyeteeth IV (Revenant Threshold) is a male werewolf. He wields a copper shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, and copper high boots.  Hell's Dentists is a 2.77 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 4482.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1620.00 dwarfbucks for This Bites.  Size-wise the teams are not that far apart.  The fighters clash. There are 2 bruises but it's a nonissue. Madmartigan picks Knife Toseeu and the strangler drops to the floor with a torn foot.  Flynn's first swing rips Knife Toseeu's chest and lungs to poo poo. Abominable punches one of stranglers arms into an unrecognizable mess. Madmartigan follows up with another picking himself, and the strangler passes out. No one else is even hurt and This Bites is down a fighter.  Flynn punches Knife Toseeu with one hand and at the same time his pick takes off Rolands right arm. Madmartigan takes off the stranglers head.  Now we break it up a little bit. The two elves decide to see who is a bigger man which is just ridiculous. We all know elves are closer to fairies than men. Eyeteeth charges and sends Madmartigan to the floor, and Sun Tzu breaks Krogs arm with a punch. Another punch breaks his ribs.  Sun Tzu then bites Krog in the face and tears off his eyelid. That's it for Krog, the elf checks out. This is really weird to say, but Sun Tzu has established dominance in the arena by beating the hell out of a conscious opponent in a 1v1. Krog Bonesmasha and his manager astus should be ashamed of themselves. Too bad he likely won't get a kill because Abominable just arrived on the scene and Sun Tzu is forced to dodge backwards.  Now it's time for everyone to lose their left hands. Roland takes off Madmartigans hand and the iron pick clangs to the floor. Madmartigan is angry and becomes enraged at this. Flynn takes off Eyeteeths hand and the werewolf becomes enraged as well. Roland sends Madmartigan to the floor with a shattered mole-foot.  Roland continues lashing the prone Madmartigan and removes a foot. Sun Tzu darts close to Abominable just to punch Krog again. Flynn takes off Eyeteeths other arm. Eyeteeth bites out Flynns teeth.  Sun Tzu punches Abominable so hard that yeti pancreas is bruised which (obviously) enrages Abominable. Flynn has removed Eyeteeths foot, eye, and punctured something else that I forgot.  Roland, pale and faint from blood loss, stands victorious over Madmartigan.  Abominable, in a fit of rage, punches Sun Tzu's leg so hard that it explodes.  Eyeteeth bleeds out from the 3 (4?) missing limbs courtesy of Flynn.  Roland does his best, but his wobbly legs and barely functioning body is not enough. Flynn removes his hand, scourge flies through the air. Roland passes out and his head follows the scourge a moment later. And then there's this: Abominable_HELL bites Sun Tzulander_BITE in the right lower arm, tearing the muscle and bruising the bone! An artery has been opened by the attack, many nerves have been severed, a ligament has been torn and a tendon has been torn! Abominable_HELL latches on firmly! Abominable_HELL shakes Sun Tzulander_BITE around by the right lower arm and the severed part sails off in an arc! The right lower arm is ripped away and remains in Abominable_HELL's grip! That's loving badass. Abominable made himself an elf-bone toothpick to get the nasty elf parts out of his teeth.  Sun Tzu's head is crushed by a yeti fist. That was a valiant effort, Sun Tzu. Kills: Flynn: 2 Abominable: 1 Madmartigan: 1 Roland: 1 Combat Log   And a little behind the scenes to show you why I hate long stupid names. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Apr 5, 2016 |
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Apr 5, 2016 19:19
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Spermy Smurf has become an Adequate Comedian.
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Apr 5, 2016 19:41
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In Like Flynn reclaims the individual top spot: He has 22 kills, fully half of the Dentists' total, and seven more than This Bites have ever mustered. Not helped by the fact that half their team is still unblooded after 7/9ths of the whole tournament.
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Apr 5, 2016 20:20
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Abominable wanted to teach Sun Tzulander how to bite properly. He bit off Krog's eyelid, so she bit off his arm. Also, you left out this wonderful part: quote:Abominable_HELL grabs Sun Tzulander_BITE by the head with her right hand! On a purely mechanical note, I'm actually thinking of dipping a few levels of biting with Abominable. Once you have latched on it becomes a wrestling manoeuvre, and there is no one in the tournament who can beat her at that. She has 10 ranks in the skill (Because it was stupidly cheap) and she has the greatest size advantage. On top of that she actually has the strength to do poo poo like tear peoples limbs off with her jaws. I may, in fact, run a biter Yeti next tournament to see how it plays out. Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Apr 5, 2016 |
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Apr 5, 2016 20:39
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Pickled Tink posted:it becomes a wrestling manoeuvre, and there is no one in the tournament who can beat her at that. 
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Apr 5, 2016 20:47
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I stand by my statement 
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Apr 5, 2016 20:49
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Pickled Tink posted:On a purely mechanical note, I'm actually thinking of dipping a few levels of biting with Abominable. Once you have latched on it becomes a wrestling manoeuvre, and there is no one in the tournament who can beat her at that. Pickled Tink posted:I stand by my statement I think we can all agree that there's only one way to settle this. Yeti vs. Yeti mortal wrestling showdown.
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Apr 5, 2016 21:11
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So in lieu of armor, I've just been buying more points in Dodge. Is that a valid strategy or does it come apart in number crunching?
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Apr 5, 2016 22:30
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dodge is good until you get wrestled, then you die.
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Apr 5, 2016 22:52
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Tiler Kiwi posted:dodge is good until you get wrestled, then you die. Dying hurts. Kill them first.
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Apr 5, 2016 22:56
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not dying really is key because if you die, killing becomes harder. but if you kill your foes then you're not dead. the eternal question.
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Apr 5, 2016 22:58
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Truly, paradise is living to kill all the enemy.
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Apr 5, 2016 23:09
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Maybe Lightly Whipped will win this round? 
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Apr 5, 2016 23:34
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hmm
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Apr 5, 2016 23:45
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they will, bet on them please
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Apr 5, 2016 23:46
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jon joe posted:Maybe Lightly Whipped will win this round? In order to do so, they would need to nearly double their kill tally. If one of the unblooded managed a clean sweep, they would go straight to being the leading kill taker. If one of the others managed it, they still wouldn't reach double figures. If the current kill leader killed all the opposition, he would rise to the giddy heights... of 27th= on the leaderboard.
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Apr 5, 2016 23:48
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AJ_Impy posted:In order to do so, they would need to nearly double their kill tally. If one of the unblooded managed a clean sweep, they would go straight to being the leading kill taker. If one of the others managed it, they still wouldn't reach double figures. If the current kill leader killed all the opposition, he would rise to the giddy heights... of 27th= on the leaderboard. Ignore all this. Bet on Lightly Whipped. Do it do it do it do it do it do it bet it all do it do it do it.
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Apr 5, 2016 23:53
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Cathode Raymond posted:Ignore all this. Bet on Lightly Whipped. Do it do it do it do it do it do it bet it all do it do it do it. People who put money on Lightly Whipped winning are the only ones the team manages to hurt.
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Apr 6, 2016 00:06
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AJ_Impy posted:People who put money on Lightly Whipped winning are the only ones the team manages to hurt. And the one teammate who didnt want to use whips but was peer pressured into changing his build. I am sure just the name Lightly Whipped makes them cringe.
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Apr 6, 2016 00:08
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I have a soft spot for Lightly Whipped. They set out to do something, and by gum they're going to stick it out to the end come hell or high water. I can respect and admire that, I'm just not going to bet money on them.
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Apr 6, 2016 00:19
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Spermy Smurf posted:And the one teammate who didnt want to use whips but was peer pressured into changing his build. I kinda get the impression he's become numb to the pain by now. 
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Apr 6, 2016 00:21
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Pickled Tink posted:I have a soft spot for Lightly Whipped. Even a soft spot is too armored for those goobers.
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Apr 6, 2016 00:33
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