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Dog #3, you're going to make me complain here a lot. Today you decided that it was fun to play in your water dish. Well I dont like it because we have cheap laminate floors that bubble up when they have contact with water. Water is fun in the park, not in your dish, you cannot swim in your dish!!!
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Mar 14, 2016 03:18
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Yes, good boy! That's a shoe, and of all of the shoes you could've brought me when I asked you for one, you brought one of mine! I'm impressed. Now give it h...no, don't take it outside, give it to me. Why are you running behind the table? You're getting drool in my shoe, please put it down, this is not how fetching works.
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Mar 14, 2016 13:22
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flakeloaf posted:Yes, good boy! That's a shoe, and of all of the shoes you could've brought me when I asked you for one, you brought one of mine! I'm impressed. Now give it h...no, don't take it outside, give it to me. Why are you running behind the table? You're getting drool in my shoe, please put it down, this is not how fetching works. 
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Mar 14, 2016 14:44
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Have you never had dogs before? That's always how fetching works. :v
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Mar 14, 2016 14:45
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Mar 14, 2016 20:24
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Dear cat, please stop chewing though my shoe laces. At first it was my fault for leaving shoes out, but now that you've figured out how to open the shoe closet its getting a little old.
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Mar 18, 2016 23:48
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Bulky Bartokomous posted:Dear cat, please stop chewing though my shoe laces. At first it was my fault for leaving shoes out, but now that you've figured out how to open the shoe closet its getting a little old. pepper sauce man. add a tangy zip to your kicks.
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Mar 18, 2016 23:52
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I emptied and refilled this litter tray not fifteen minutes before, and I came back to this. Maxie is fixedly staring in the opposite direction as if to say "nothing to do with me, guv".
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Mar 28, 2016 10:14
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In a frightening role reversal, I farted so loudly that I woke my dog up from a deep sleep
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Mar 29, 2016 03:53
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God drat it Priss, I am asleep and you can't wake me. Stop bringing me literally all of your toys so that I wake up surrounded by feathers and easter eggs. And you used to never walk on my keyboard, go gently caress yourself. I bought some boneless wings with no sauce just to share with you, eat the meat you ungrateful curr.
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Mar 30, 2016 07:59
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Kitty, I appreciate the cuddles when I'm having trouble trying to sleep. Really, I do. But you need to pick a spot. You can't switch between arm, chest, other arm ad infinitum. And launching yourself off of me to go see the other cat at 4:30 this morning was really not okay. I am so tired.
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Mar 30, 2016 11:41
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Suki, I am very proud of you for finding, hunting, and catching the ladybug. However, you seem to be very confused as to what the next steps are. How on earth did you survive as a stray before the Humane Society took you in??!
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Mar 30, 2016 13:18
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Percival, why are you such a horrendous fat whale? You've been on a diet since I adopted you but you're still so huge that my legs are asleep from you laying on them and I can't move. In revenge I took the most unflattering fatgirl angle shot of you ever and shall be sharing it on Facebook in the morning. It looks like a furry watermelon with a furry clementine on top of it.  (side note: you have the tiniest drat head.) Freakbox fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Mar 31, 2016 |
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Mar 31, 2016 10:21
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This little bastard is Jinx. Jinx, please don't sneak out the back door again during a power outage when I am trying let the dog inside at 3 fricken AM and am half dressed and don't have a light handy, you little jackass. You were terrified of the mysterious outside and are damned lucky you were too dumb to figure out how to get out of my yard.
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Apr 2, 2016 16:42
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Oh God Suki do you have buttworms? Don't have buttworms
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Apr 3, 2016 00:51
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Dear Porchcat II Please stop killing and bringing me wild rabbits. You're making the neighbour's children cry.
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Apr 3, 2016 01:39
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Monkey you loving rear end in a top hat with a tail, quit loving screaming at me every time I go into the kitchen. You have treats in your bowl that you were begging for 15 minutes before, I'm not giving you more. You're also full on food and water. And quit trying to bite me as I walk by before I stuff you into a small box and mail you last class to the cheapest country that eats cats.
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Apr 3, 2016 04:17
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Lady when the puppy is playing with the laser pointer, quit being loving fun police. pinning the puppy to the ground with your teeth is just ornery.
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Apr 3, 2016 16:01
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Porch Rabbit: please stop hiding underneath my car. My car tires are neither comfy or interested in you curling up next to them. They'll just make you go squish. Even if I check underneath my car and chase you away, I've watched you hop back towards my car after I get in. Porch Rabbit. You Dumb.
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Apr 3, 2016 16:41
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Porch rabbit sounds like a domesticated rabbit that was released in the wild by assholes and is searching for safety and a kind human.
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Apr 3, 2016 21:45
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Minuit you dumb loving gremlin of a cat, why did you slide tackle your water bowl and scream meow like you were being murdered? I had to clean a trail of your piss from the kitchen to my bed and buy you a new dish because you refused to drink out of the scary bowl that attacked you. Also you made my roommate call me in a panic because your dumb rear end stepped on the hot stove top while trying to steal eggs from him. That's why I knock you off the counter you stupid poo poo head! By the time I raced home you were totally fine and trying to fish a chunk off the plate in the sink and meowing because you couldn't reach.
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Apr 4, 2016 20:48
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bunnyofdoom posted:Porch rabbit sounds like a domesticated rabbit that was released in the wild by assholes and is searching for safety and a kind human.  Considering the time of year that's a distinct possibility. Google up what a wild rabbit around your place oughta look like and take a close look at the one that's keeping you company. If its ears flop or it's a colour other than buff, you're probably looking at an escaped pet.
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Apr 4, 2016 21:24
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Onca, I love that you are so affectionate. But please stop drooling on me. Ideally always, but especially when I am wrapped in an electric blanket.
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Apr 5, 2016 10:13
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flakeloaf posted:
It is neither of these things. It looks like a regular, ordinary, albeit pretty dumb, Eastern Cottontail. It has at least stopped hiding underneath my car. For now.
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Apr 11, 2016 04:01
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kelvron posted:It is neither of these things. It looks like a regular, ordinary, albeit pretty dumb, Eastern Cottontail. Is mixamotosis a thing in the states? That makes rabbits stupid. Do its eyes look okay?
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Apr 11, 2016 11:55
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Angrymog posted:Is mixamotosis a thing in the states? That makes rabbits stupid. Do its eyes look okay? Rabbits don't need help being stupid
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Apr 11, 2016 22:29
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Mot sure if Myxomatosis is prevalent in US rabbits, but it is a radiohead song.
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Apr 12, 2016 03:26
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I never got the chance to let everyone know that Porchcat passed away a few months ago. I may of acted like he annoyed me at times but I find that I miss him every day. Here's a pic of him destroying my bushes from almost three years ago, hence the Instagram filter.  RIP Porchcat. 
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Apr 12, 2016 07:17
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:I never got the chance to let everyone know that Porchcat passed away a few months ago. I may of acted like he annoyed me at times but I find that I miss him every day. laaame.
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Apr 12, 2016 12:27
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Please check my new friend, and not new dog. 
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Apr 12, 2016 18:51
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Future Days posted:Please check my new friend, its a tinypax
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Apr 12, 2016 18:55
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Murderdog, at least viciously savage me with your mighty jaws if you are going to try to kill me, dont trip me down the stairs you rear end in a top hat. 
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Apr 14, 2016 13:45
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Dear Idiot Skinnydog: I took you outside so that you could pee, not lean against me and get pets. Additionally, your new habit of going after your junk so vigorously that it leaves you panting and out of breath is the dumbest thing you have done since farting audibly and then looking at your own butt in bewildered surprise. Dear Neurotic Skinnydog: You are neither a landscaper nor a rodent. You do not need to prune the still-growing branches of trees with your face.
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Apr 17, 2016 22:29
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SneakyFrog posted:Murderdog, He looks completely unapologetic and even slightly disappointed in his own failure.
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Apr 18, 2016 02:47
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SneakyFrog posted:Murderdog, She just wants to cuddle your feet at terribly inopportune times.
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Apr 18, 2016 03:19
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Nasgate posted:He looks completely unapologetic and even slightly disappointed in his own failure. she does that fart and then act completely shocked and scared thing as well. FARTS? in MY rear end?
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Apr 18, 2016 13:28
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Who among us can honestly say that they have never been startled by one of their own farts? Not I.
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Apr 19, 2016 11:46
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Guys, horrible news, Porchcat II died last week. I learned this talking to my neighbour today, because apparently Porchcat II was leaving dead animals for a number of people in my neighbourhood. Porchcat II. You were the most socially responsible cat.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:34
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grack posted:Guys, horrible news, Porchcat II died last week. I learned this talking to my neighbour today, because apparently Porchcat II was leaving dead animals for a number of people in my neighbourhood. well poo poo.
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Apr 21, 2016 00:24
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grack posted:Guys, horrible news, Porchcat II died last week. I learned this talking to my neighbour today, because apparently Porchcat II was leaving dead animals for a number of people in my neighbourhood. Porchcat just wanted you all to be better hunters, you clearly had trouble catching them yourselves .
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Apr 21, 2016 01:10
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