Jumpingmanjim posted:

Who could forget the Half Life mod Escape from Woomera?

https://twitter.com/maxuthink/status/719670313366085633

Jumpingmanjim posted:

https://twitter.com/maxuthink/status/719670313366085633

quote:

The Daily Telegraph Front Page You Might Have Missed


Because of my fine work filling in for Fairfax a few weeks back during industrial action, The Daily Telegraph contacted me for a hands off front page and editorial on the Samantha Maiden drink driving story. They wanted to highlight the story, but keep their hands clean, so they called me up. I was slightly upset this morning when I found they'd not used my work, but luckily you can still enjoy it. I did my utmost to keep it on point for Telegraph readers.

It's long been proven speed and alcohol are the dominant factors in fatal car crashes and accidents involving serious injury. So we continue to wonder why some of our most prominent citizens engage in such reckless behaviour? Like you, we believe they're dangerous mongrels who second chance judges have let terrorise us for too long.

Earlier this year News Corp journalist, Samantha Maiden was lecturing Liberal MP Jamie Briggs about his boozy antics, terming him a 'barfly' and that his "alcoholic intake left him running the risk of behaving like Les Patterson when representing Australia abroad." Apparently Maiden thinks there's something wrong with a beer in your hand and sauce on your shirt.

We like our pollies a little rough around the edges, but we'll concede Briggs may have been a goose while on the turps. However, he never had a skinful before getting behind the wheel of 2500kg vehicle, winding it up to 110km and hurtling down darkened country roads with Police in hot pursuit.

Because that's what Samantha Maiden did.

Astonishingly the Police chase became so dangerous, with Maiden all over the road, that our finest had to give up the chase and radio ahead for another pursuit car to tail her further up the road.

After hooning through a 50km zone doing 80km, Maiden nearly wiped out an innocent Commodore, one of the last built in Australia, before surrendering to the exasperated Police. In handcuffs, Maiden blew into the bretho and it proved positive. Back at the station Maiden's second blow registered 0.136 - almost three times the legal limit.

You really need to consider the "what ifs" in these situations. Maybe a family was coming in the other direction as Maiden accelerated and swerved at high speed. Maybe it was a family pet Maiden could have crushed, leaving poor children without their beloved cat or dog.

Maybe it was a kiddie.

It's not out of the realms of possibility that a young child was sleep walking that night and wandered out onto the road unawares. When you look at the great Australians Goulburn has produced, you can see the potential loss.

Kate Ritchie is one of Goulburn's finest, but had she stumbled onto the road that night as a small child we never would have seen Sally grow up before our eyes and win our hearts on Home & Away.

George Lazenby is another of Goulburn's finest. Imagine a young George Lazenby mowed down by Maiden's flying Santa Fe. Australia would never have had its own Bond. We'd be shaken and stirred.

Goulburn's Gold Medalist, Michael Diamond is another who would no doubt be missed. Sure he had lightning reflexes when trap shooting, but as a young child even he would struggle to dodge an oncoming car driven by a drunk driver.

The seriousness of this crime cannot be understated and that's why today we're starting a new Tele campaign to get Samantha Maiden off our roads and behind bars.

BBJoey posted:

LibertyCat posted:

I am not kidding when I say I was more moved during the events of the Mass Effect series than I ever was by the works of Beethoven or Leonardo da Vinci. Saying video games aren't art is purely snobbery

LibertyCat posted:

I am not kidding when I say I was more moved during the events of the Mass Effect series than I ever was by the works of Beethoven or Leonardo da Vinci.

Tokamak posted:

Mass Effect was a great game... for me to poop on.
It's not even a good sci-fi story. Read a book.

LibertyCat posted:

I am not kidding when I say I was more moved during the events of the Mass Effect series than I ever was by the works of Beethoven or Leonardo da Vinci. Saying video games aren't art is purely snobbery - how dare the hoi polloi have a say on what is and isn't art. Based on sales figures I'd rather see video games subsidized than some overpriced work selected by unelected wankers that is only appreciated by a tiny fraction of society.

So a minority of weirdos are bitter over some issue I'm happy to say I've managed to avoid learning about. This is a truly bizarre way to judge if something qualifies as art.

Zenithe posted:

5 Dollaridoos right there.

Starshark posted:

Someone get a mod to check if this is IWC. I want to give credit where it's due.

Starshark posted:

Someone get a mod to check if this is IWC. I want to give credit where it's due.

El Scotch posted:

I'm surprised you don't call them 'dollaroos'.

Recoome posted:

UPF trying really hard in the lead up to ANZAC day. I mean like there's always mixed feelings about ANZAC day but I'm worried/disgusted if the ultra-nationalists get a hold of it and start influencing the content of the services.

adamantium|wang posted:

Kommando posted:

stop replying to LibertyCat.

80% of his thread is them saying something and you all stomping on them.

Seagull posted:

Recoome posted:

UPF trying really hard in the lead up to ANZAC day. I mean like there's always mixed feelings about ANZAC day but I'm worried/disgusted if the ultra-nationalists get a hold of it and start influencing the content of the services.

MysticalMachineGun posted:

Too late!

About 15 years too late, actually.

Skellybones posted:

It's not the disease that kills Quarians, it's the immune response.

Milky Moor posted:

Who wants to buy me that terrible Skywarriors book by that Liberal MP?

It's for art.