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Spermy Smurf posted:So swap out Braun for Antwoman and otherwise leave Animists untouched? Why would you put an ant in a dwarf team? 
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Apr 12, 2016 23:52
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If we are talking fantasy team match-ups, I'd like to see all the tournaments Yetis (All three of them) against Lightly Whipped.
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Apr 13, 2016 00:16
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Pickled Tink posted:If we are talking fantasy team match-ups, I'd like to see all the tournaments Yetis (All three of them) against Lightly Whipped. I wonder what the race breakdowns of the tournament is. We have an all dwarf team but how many other team could you make of a single race from this tournament's fighters. Also I wonder if any of those teams would be any good.
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Apr 13, 2016 00:20
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Spermy Smurf posted:So swap out Braun for Antwoman and otherwise leave Animists untouched? Hey. gently caress you. Do not insult Braun's dwarven heritage
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Apr 13, 2016 00:35
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Pickled Tink posted:If we are talking fantasy team match-ups, I'd like to see all the tournaments Yetis (All three of them) against Lightly Whipped. To be fair some of the yetis might be able to solo Lightly Whipped.
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Apr 13, 2016 00:44
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Spermy Smurf posted:So swap out Braun for Antwoman and otherwise leave Animists untouched? Dammit Spermy, you can't get out of the Zoo that easy. You're our secret weapon, we need you! You, that is, not Antwoman. You can cheat for us, which is useful. you know, unlike her What I'm saying is that you're stuck with us.
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Apr 13, 2016 02:28
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alcharagia posted:Any more of this ridiculous slander and I'll give my next fighter an even longer name, like "Dickpuncher Wolf, the Wolf that Punches the Enemies in the Dick Even if they Don't Have One" No fighter name can be longer than EmbodiedPrincipleOfPerfection's, at least in terms of character count.
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Apr 13, 2016 03:54
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Custom team: Apeliminator Jupis Knife Toseeu Three Gremlins Presenting team Erotic Asphyxiation
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Apr 13, 2016 04:49
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jon joe posted:Custom team: Funny you should call it that...
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Apr 13, 2016 08:28
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Oh, I see, you're embarrassed that your nephew isn't living up to his father's combat capabilities. Well there's more to life than combat, AJ_Impy. Always has been... always will be.
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Apr 13, 2016 08:31
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Embarrassed? Both AA and 3GiaB have substantially better kill rates than Apeliminator. AA only ever fought for four matches, Apeliminator has fought for fourteen. After retirement, AA went on to have a successful career in investment banking.
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Apr 13, 2016 08:56
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...no no Apeliminator is the nephew here.
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Apr 13, 2016 08:57
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Was. 
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Apr 13, 2016 09:00
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AJ_Impy posted:Was. DIS 
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Apr 13, 2016 11:09
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Please cease all Apeliminator hate. Apehate. Hatelimination.
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Apr 14, 2016 04:01
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I think Apeliminator is merely misunderstood. Maybe he never wanted to be a fighter. Maybe he only wanted to love... Apeloveinator. Maybe there's a little bit of him inside of all us, if you really take the time to think about it..?
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Apr 14, 2016 04:06
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Lots of hard feelings and heavy talk and deep thoughts today. We've learned a lot about ourselves and our fighters and who we really are. But for what it's worth I think Apeliminator is just a poorly programmed mechanical monkey. Do I hate him? Of course not. It would be like hating someone else's broken toaster.
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Apr 14, 2016 04:15
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Cathode Raymond posted:Apeliminator is just a poorly programmed mechanical monkey. Aren't we all?
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Apr 14, 2016 10:11
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 Round 15, Fight 1 This Bites (3-11) is on the left side of the arena. Knife Toseeu (synthorange) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap. Sun Tzulander the Philomodel (Keru) is a male elf. He is empty handed and wears a leather cap, a silver mail shirt, silver gauntlets, and platinum low boots. Roland Gorchnik (Maarak) is a male human. He wields a copper scourge and wears an iron cap, leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Eyeteeth IV (Revenant Threshold) is a male werewolf. He wields a copper shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, and copper high boots. Spooky Scary Skeletons (6-8) is on the right side of the arena. Tash Al'rhyn (tithin) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a silver cap, a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, copper greaves, leather gauntlets, and copper low boots. Three Gremlins in a Blender (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Bad Munki (Coward) is a male kobold. He wields a steel bow and wears a leather cap. Candy Corn Tiger (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm, an iron mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and iron high boots.  Spooky Scary Skeletons is a 7.05 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5367.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 761.00 dwarfbucks for This Bites.  Bad Munki's first shot is aimed very well, but Knife Toseeu dodges easily.  Knife Toseeu must have let the success go to his head because the very next entry in the log is Three Gremlins taking off the stranglers leg.  The followthrough sends Sun Tzu's hand flying through the air as well. That's two incredible blows from Three Gremlins about 2 seconds into the fight. Candy Corn isn't a slouch though, and Eyeteeths right arm from the elbow down flops to the floor.  Three Gremlins hacks Knife Toseeu in the chest, nearly cutting him in two. Knife Toseeu is down.  Another arrow flies through the center of the arena, missing everyone.  Candy Corn lops off Eyeteeths left arm from the elbow down. On the bright side, at least Eyeteeth will bite now right?  Spray and pray, Bad Munki. You'll get it eventually. Roland dodges past Candy Corn and lands a devastating lash on Three Gremlins. The strangler's hand is chopped in two. But whats this? Candy Corn spins on a heel and chops off Rolands left hand moments after! There is a lot of bruising, and then Eyeteeth latches on to Three Gremlins' eyelid and the strangler passes out as seen in the GIF above.  Roland dodges back from Candy Corn while Sun Tzu and Eyeteeth try to hold off Tash long enough to kill Three Gremlins. Eyeteeth looms over the downed strangler, but dies from blood loss instead. The last fighter to hit him was Three Gremlins like 30 seconds ago, so the kill goes to the unconscious strangler. Candy Corn takes a hit to the liver, but spears Rolands leg in return. And then the arrow hits. It actually hits! The arrow lodges firmly in Rolands right hand mid-jump. Roland lands and collapses to the floor unconscious.  Candy Corn takes his head off.  Bad Munki locks and loads as Tash duels with Sun Tzu but has only caused bruises to the one-handed elf so far.  Sun Tzu dodges the arrow easily... However, he jumped too close to Candy Corn who grounds the elf with a slashed leg. A second swing paralyzes Sun Tzu by shattering the spine.  Candy Corn takes his head. Kills: Three Gremlins: 2 Candy Corn: 2 Combat Log 
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Apr 14, 2016 16:51
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Good fight!Spermy Smurf posted:
I love this shot, just because it's as if everyone steps to one side to let the arrow fly past, then gets back to fighting/being horribly murdered (delete as applicable).
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Apr 14, 2016 17:32
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Nertz, forgot to bet. Still, can't complain, that win puts the Skeletons on course for the playoff spot if Go Big and/or Go Home slip up, and makes it impossible for Boatmurdered to overhaul Gemclod in the interdivisional stakes. Also, 3GiaB killed an Unblooded whilst unconscious, after a very one-sided wrestling match: quote:Three Gremlins_SSS strikes Eyeteeth_BITE in the upper body with his {iron pick}, bruising the fat through the large cow leather armor! "You are already dead. I'm going to take a nap, bet you still can't earn your name against a sleeping opponent." Harmless. Or at least mostly 'armless. AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 17:49 on Apr 14, 2016 |
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Apr 14, 2016 17:45
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Pretty good show for what was basically a 3 vs 4.
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Apr 15, 2016 02:51
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I bought that helmet to protect my head and not get one-shotted early in the match like the last few rounds. It worked I guess. 
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Apr 15, 2016 02:54
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Didn't knife tosseu used to...have a knife?
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Apr 15, 2016 03:06
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I might kill more things if I had more weapon skill - I'm apparently quite durable this round? early days I suppose
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Apr 15, 2016 07:48
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Cathode Raymond posted:Didn't knife tosseu used to...have a knife? Yeah, I mentioned that before. No knife last round either.
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Apr 15, 2016 20:11
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Round 15, Fight 4 Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow (6-8) is on the left side of the arena. Here comes Mongo! (Endorph) is a male troll. He wields a wooden two-handed sword and wears no armor. ShortName (ZeeToo) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm, a bronze mail shirt, a copper breast plate, bronze greaves, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. Face (Godna) is a male troll. He wields a copper two-handed sword and wears a silver cap, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and silver high boots. Jakob (frankenfreak) is a male werewolf. He wields a bronze mace and wears a copper helm, leather armor, and an iron mail shirt. Hell's Dentists (10-4) is on the right side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap and leather gauntlets. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.  Hell's Dentists is a 2.37 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2332.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 985.00 dwarfbucks for Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow.  Size on the left.  Mongo somehow takes the lead and impales himself on Madmartigans pick. Mongo doesn't stop running, and sends Madmartigan stunned to the ground. Madmartigan stands up but doesn't move on the screen for like 30 seconds realtime. Flynn buries his pick in Mongos stomach for good measure. Mongo passes out with his one contribution being a charge.  Flynns next swing takes off Mongos head.  However, Flynn left himself open to attack and Jakob smashes the dwarfs hand to smithereens. Flynns pick hits the dirt. Jakobs second swing breaks Flynns arm, and dwarven bone snaps. A third swing pulps Flynns foot. Flynn joins his pick on the dirt.  Jakob smashes his head in. At the same time: ShortName has been taken down by Abominable, but spears the yeti's fat for a superficial blow. Face and Krog duel, neither really doing much due to the trolls armor absorbing anything Krog has thrown at him.  Abominable charges and sends ShortName to the ground again while Jakob engages the still stunned Madmartigan. The yeti punches ShortNames hand which explodes into gore, then ShortName is airborne! Face comes to the rescue (that feels weird to type) and thrusts his sword through Abominables hand. Jakob shatters one of Krogs hands and the elf's shield falls from the ruined limb. And then Abominable goes all Bruce Lee on Shortname and a flurry of punches shatters the molemans ribs and bruises lungs. Madmartigan helps by severing Shortnames tongue.  Krog and Abominable team up to break both tusks from Face's jaw. He looks ridiculous without tusks. Madmartigan takes off Shortnames arm, Abominable grabs his wrist which interrupts an attack, and then the yeti throws the moleman for the second time. Shortname lands, stunned, and Abominable kicks him in the face, concussing and unconscious-ing him.  Jakob loses a paw to Madmartigan's pick, Face's pancreas basically explodes to Krogs hammer, and Madmartigans pick chops his foot which sends him to the floor. Finally Abominable punches Shortnames head to paste.  Face falls between the combined attack of Krog and Abominable. Madmartigan helps as well by removing an arm from the troll. Jakob flails at anyone nearby since he's only got the one foot.  Krog caves his skull in.  Jakob, already one-footed turns into a no-footed wolf which is really weird if you think about it. Luckily Jakob doesn't have long to think. Pieces are removed by Madmartigan and crushed by Krog and Abominable.  Abominable grabs him, then he bleeds out. Abominable gets the kill. Hells Dentist wins with a 4-1 victory, in a closer match than I (and the betters) thought it would be. Kills: Abominable: 2 Krog: 1 Flynn: 1 Jakob: 1 Combat Log 
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Apr 15, 2016 21:21
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If I hosed up that fight somehow, then I'll fix it monday. I'd like to point out that this is the SECOND or maybe THIRD fight that I've written up and not had to edit because I misspelled something/hosed up an image. Booyah motherfuckers.
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Apr 15, 2016 21:32
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mongo has stripped off his clothes in protest what actually happened there is that i sold all his armor to see how much money that'd get me, then forgot to reset him
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Apr 15, 2016 21:35
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All things considered, I'm pleased as punch to have a single kill before we were all wiped out by the Dentists. Set your expectations low enough and you might not be disappointed!
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Apr 15, 2016 21:39
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Endorph posted:
Drunk tinkering is the best tinkering.
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Apr 15, 2016 22:50
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Heavyweight Horrorshow join This Bites in losing to every single team in Gemclod. You'd almost expect it from the team with two unblooded, but this truly was a horror showing for a team still with a shout of reaching the playoffs.
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Apr 16, 2016 00:26
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Hooray I helped I get the You Tried honorary amputations award
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Apr 16, 2016 00:37
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I'm glad to see Abominable's build is still proving effective even after so many rounds of not improving it.
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Apr 16, 2016 00:49
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Haha what the hell. I just noticed Mongo has no armor and a wooden sword.
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Apr 16, 2016 01:12
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Spermy Smurf posted:Haha what the hell. I just noticed Mongo has no armor and a wooden sword. Despite that, he still has as many kills as Lightly Whipped managed in total.
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Apr 16, 2016 01:35
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It looks like I'll need to update the site to reflect that the last fight was 4-1 instead of 4-0. I should probably make an interface for admins to be able to do that themselves, but...  Regardless, after suffering their ninth consecutive loss after a 3-3 start, This Bites becomes the second team to be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Also, I should probably clarify how the playoffs will work. - The four champions of each division will go to the playoffs. - The top four teams remaining, regardless of division, will also go to the playoffs. So it's possible for a weak division to send only one team, and for a strong division to send three (or even four) teams. And this leads us to something that will require another vote: TIEBREAKERS The team's overall records will be the primary factor to determine who gets into the playoffs. But in the case of a tie, there are two tiebreakers we can go with. - Total point differential, i.e. how many more (or fewer) kills a team had during the season than its opponents. - Head-to-head record. Suppose Go Big and Team Laser Explosion end up tied for the last playoff spot. That would make their match this round much more important, as the winner gets in and the loser doesn't! So, should we go with: A) Point differential is the first tiebreaker, head-to-head record is the second tiebreaker. Kills are everything! B) Head-to-head record is the first tiebreaker, total point differential is the second tiebreaker. Every match is important! Note that it's theoretically possible for two teams in the same division to split the two fights against each other and also end up exactly tied in kill differential. In this case, an additional tiebreaker fight at a neutral site is automatically generated. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 03:06 on Apr 16, 2016 |
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Apr 16, 2016 02:57
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AJ_Impy posted:Despite that, he still has as many kills as Lightly Whipped managed in total. Destroyed.
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Apr 16, 2016 03:03
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Wait a minute. I specifically chose 4-1 victory. I didnt leave it at the default. I picked that, edited all 34 images, hit next on the arena site then selected my saved gamelog.txt, then I wrote up the fight, hit submit on the arena site (for final confirmation), took a pic of the bet outcomes and uploaded it, pasted that code into my writeup, then finally bolded and underlined the names before hitting submit on SA. No way in gently caress I messed that up. Unless of course you see it hosed up then there really isnt any other scenario other than me loving it up. But I legit remember picking 4-1 because I was being told 'ICE CREAM ICE CREAM I WANT ICE CREAM' and I was wishing violence was the answer IRL too. God damnit.
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Apr 16, 2016 03:09
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Why not just run a tiebreaker fight for more blood?
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Apr 16, 2016 03:22
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