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Jiro
Jan 13, 2004

Skinty McEdger posted:


Punk is a master of memphis psychology. He'll stall for the first two minutes at least.

And then proceed to pull out an acoustic guitar and sing a song only to viciously beat his opponent into submission with it. :v:

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The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer
john cena was really funny in trainwreck, a thing i have seen. cm punk has been ? in ? because i have not seen him do anything. therefore john cena is better.

also, this guy loves john cena and has almost 30 billboards up in my city:
http://www.tmac4prez.com/

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Jiro posted:

And then proceed to pull out an acoustic guitar and sing a song only to viciously beat his opponent into submission with it. :v:

Ain't He Great?

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

john cena was really funny in trainwreck, a thing i have seen. cm punk has been ? in ? because i have not seen him do anything. therefore john cena is better.

John Cena is going to be a great comedic actor in hollywood because he can be really, really funny

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



LeftistMuslimObama posted:

john cena was really funny in trainwreck, a thing i have seen. cm punk has been ? in ? because i have not seen him do anything. therefore john cena is better.

also, this guy loves john cena and has almost 30 billboards up in my city:
http://www.tmac4prez.com/

Cena was also funny as the drug dealer in Sisters, a thing which CM Punk could not do because he's too straight edge.

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.
John Cena is a better promo, a better worker, and probably better fighter than stupid rear end in a top hat Phillip Brooks.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Basically I think we can all agree it's a goddamn shame we never got Tank Abbott vs Captain Lou Albano in the UFC

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer

Bluedeanie posted:

Cena was also funny as the drug dealer in Sisters, a thing which CM Punk could not do because he's too straight edge.

forgot about that one. he had me laughing my rear end off in that movie.

Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

1st AD posted:

John Cena is a better promo, a better worker, and probably better fighter than stupid rear end in a top hat Phillip Brooks.

Is this post a work or a shoot?

ICHIBAHN
Feb 21, 2007

by Cyrano4747
It's legit and none of it is true

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(
John Cena isnt funny at all and youre slightly in love with him and his good looks if he makes you laugh.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

1st AD posted:

John Cena is a better promo, a better worker, and probably better fighter than stupid rear end in a top hat Phillip Brooks.

wrong, wrong, probably right

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Skinty McEdger posted:

UFC have shown him in the crowd with Nikki before so I'm tending towards it not being his real opinion.

lol

Paulocaust
Jan 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
If John Cena's pre match shadow boxing is indicative of anything, he has no clue how to throw a punch and would get smashed by anyone with recreational boxing experience

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib

1st AD posted:

John Cena is a better promo, a better worker, and probably better fighter than stupid rear end in a top hat Phillip Brooks.

:stare:

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer

Bundt Cake posted:

John Cena isnt funny at all and youre slightly in love with him and his good looks if he makes you laugh.

i dont watch wwe and dont know anything about him other than the two movies ive seen him in + that "its john cena" meme. i guess my sense of humor is just more pedestrian than yours

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Bundt Cake posted:

John Cena isnt funny at all and youre slightly in love with him and his good looks if he makes you laugh.

Was he on Parks and Rec? Because I remember laughing at that bit.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


The John Cena meme, much like himself, is third-rate

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

The John Cena meme, much like himself, is third-rate

He's the best wrestler in the world.

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

i dont watch wwe and dont know anything about him other than the two movies ive seen him in + that "its john cena" meme. i guess my sense of humor is just more pedestrian than yours


Captain Log posted:

Was he on Parks and Rec? Because I remember laughing at that bit.

i dont really think youre in love if you think john cena is funny

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Bundt Cake posted:

John Cena isnt funny at all and youre slightly in love with him and his good looks if he makes you laugh.

Yeah

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005
Nothing John Cena has ever done or said is as funny as the fact that last year there was an award-winning, high budget Hollywood motion picture with a part literally written about Dolph Ziggler, and they cast John Cena.

This is also true of Dolph Ziggler's standup routine and life to date, inclusive.

Herr Tog
Jun 18, 2011

Grimey Drawer

fatherdog posted:

Nothing John Cena has ever done or said is as funny as the fact that last year there was an award-winning, high budget Hollywood motion picture with a part literally written about Dolph Ziggler, and they cast John Cena.

This is also true of Dolph Ziggler's standup routine and life to date, inclusive.

What about the time he was on scooby doo?

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw7_Rip9z20

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

MassRafTer posted:

He's the best wrestler in the world.

Nakamura is the best wrestler in the world, although John is way up there.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

Sanguinia posted:

Nakamura is the best wrestler in the world, although John is way up there.

It's Rollins.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
Whoever told the anecdote about working in a video store in the 90's and realising that whenever a very obviously mentally retarded person walked in there was a 100% chance of them making a bee line to the wrestling section, you should know that I may have forgotten you, but your insights live on in my heart.

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
I like John Cena

a.lo
Sep 12, 2009

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

I like John Cena

he is the one on espn?

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

Heavy Metal posted:

It's Rollins.

It's Buff Bagwell, Number One Wrestler of my heart.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


MassRafTer posted:

He's the best wrestler in the world.

That's funny, because unlike some wrestlers I could name (CM Punk) he gives interview responses like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCngu7E8z8I

Like, being a wrestler means you are a wrestler all the time and forever, man. Macho Man interviews are the reason he is a legend, and this poo poo here is the reason why everyone is going to forget about John Cena and his big bowl of nothing Make-A-Wish "career" five years after he is forced into retirement from doing too many lovely hip tosses.

Or maybe he could reassure us he has two working balls and keep it real with Larry King, instead of looking like he's late for prep school. If that's the best wrestler in the world, then gently caress this gay earth.

Name Change fucked around with this message at 09:27 on Apr 15, 2016

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
John Cena's a lot like Adam Sandler.

Claytor
Dec 5, 2011

Gonzo McFee posted:

John Cena's a lot like Adam Sandler.

Now you're just being cruel.

Punch McLightning
Sep 19, 2005

you know what that means




Grimey Drawer

Gonzo McFee posted:

John Cena's a lot like Adam Sandler.

he probably would buy a bunch of healthy choice pudding so he could have airline miles

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

That's funny, because unlike some wrestlers I could name (CM Punk) he gives interview responses like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCngu7E8z8I

Like, being a wrestler means you are a wrestler all the time and forever, man. Macho Man interviews are the reason he is a legend, and this poo poo here is the reason why everyone is going to forget about John Cena and his big bowl of nothing Make-A-Wish "career" five years after he is forced into retirement from doing too many lovely hip tosses.

Or maybe he could reassure us he has two working balls and keep it real with Larry King, instead of looking like he's late for prep school. If that's the best wrestler in the world, then gently caress this gay earth.
what the hell are you talking about

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

oatgan posted:

what the hell are you talking about

John Cena does not have a ten inch penis.

electric funeral
Oct 16, 2004

ACCIO PANTIES
*swoosh flick*
UFCM Punk is tearing this forum apart.

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

ayn rand hand job posted:

John Cena does not have a ten inch penis.

[citation needed]

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Eleanor Pwnsevelt
Dec 25, 2003

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

John Cena only cares about wrestling WWE, make a wish kids, and cars

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