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QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

ELECTION OF 1872

:siren: Click here to vote in the Election of 1872! :siren:



Background:

When Grant was elected, his reputation for scrupulous honesty and integrity led many to believe that his administration would do away with the problems and abuses that had plagued previous presidents. Though Reconstruction, industrialization, and westward expansion had escaped previous leaders, the public was ready to believe that Grant, hero of the nation, could master them. While devoted to the cause of Union, Grant’s first term revealed the very real limitations of his power.

Grant’s problems began almost immediately because of his reliance on friends instead of men of talent. Though personally honest, Grant recruited old friends and military acquaintances to hold high office, convinced that their friendships meant that they were committed to the same causes as he. Unfortunately for Grant, many of these men had joined the military solely for money or had befriended Grant with the anticipation of future reward. In 1869, Wall Street manipulators used Grant’s appointees to stop the Treasury from selling gold in order to corner the price and make millions. Though Grant eventually realized what was happening, his administration’s reaction caused the entire gold market to collapse, ruining both the speculators and the American economy. In 1871, it was revealed that Grant’s personal secretaries were implicated in a corruption ring in New York City. Even the Post Office was implicated in a scandal when it was revealed that Grant’s appointed officials were paying contractors exorbitant fees for fictitious routes and low-quality services.

Worse for Congress, Grant has decided to run the White House as a military office instead of a political one and has ignored the hierarchy of the civilian government. Despite being an unconfirmed official, Grant’s private secretary Orville E. Babcock has gained indirect control of whole departments, overseen the removal and replacement of entire staffs, and retains more influence than actual Cabinet officials. In 1869, Babcock, not the State Department, was sent by Grant to negotiate the annexation of Santo Domingo.

These administrative failings have harmed Grant’s ability to achieve significant reforms on the issues that he cares about. Unlike his predecessor, Grant has spent the last four years advocating for federal enforcement of civil rights, regardless of race, across the South. Grant’s creation of the Justice Department to enforce federal laws in the South has created small anarchy within the Executive Branch. Further, the man he chose to head the branch, Ebenezer R. Hoar turned out to be more interested in collecting his salary than protecting African American citizens. Only after the appointment of Amos T. Akerman did the United States federal government start arresting and prosecuting the Kl Klux Klan, a newly formed organization devoted to white supremacy. Many wonder what might have been if Akerman had been Grant’s first choice, as Akerman’s vigorous prosecution has caused the organization to almost collapse. In their place, conservative armed groups have risen up, using violence and intimidation to take control of recently reconstructed state governments.

The rampant corruption in Grant’s administration and the violence in the South has led to public disillusionment with many of Grant’s policies. Though Grant himself remains wildly popular, many within the Republican Party have increasingly questioned whether Grant is fit to lead. Due to this taint, several Republicans have broken off from Grant and attempted to form a third party - the Liberal Republican Party. As the name suggests, the Liberal Republicans are moderate Republicans, opposed to the corrupt Radicals in Congress, who seek liberal reforms to fight against high corruption. As their first candidate, the Liberal Republicans have nominated the eccentric businessman and newspaper editor, Horace Greeley. A staple of New York City life, many believe that Greeley’s celebrity is the only thing that can compete with Grant’s fame. Greeley eccentric beliefs, which span from phrenology to Fourierism, have left many within the new party unnerved. The Democrats, lacking a strong candidate themselves and hoping to unseat Grant, have also endorsed the Liberal Republican candidate. A handful of contrarians have rejected this decision and tried to form their own party, the “Straight-Out Democrats.”

One other issue deserves mention. Over the last few decades, alcohol has become an increasingly prominent part of American political life. Though this new industry has fueled economic growth, it has also fueled countless social ills and led to rampant public drunkenness in many of America’s largest cities. Officials, up to and including President Grant, have been accused of being addicted to intoxicating beverage. The growing power of the alcohol industry and the failure of public officials to enforce existing prohibition laws on the local and state level has led prominent reformers to establish the Prohibition Party, an organization devoted to outlawing all alcohol. As one might expect, this radical group has adopted other strange and radical platforms including women’s suffrage, free and public education, and guaranteed civil rights for all peoples. Though the group does not yet have the support of other reformist groups, who see the major parties as the best chance to accomplish change, the Prohibition Party hopes that they can grow and one day save the American nation from the menace of alcohol.

REPUBLICAN PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Ulysses S. Grant
  • Party Affiliation: Republican Party
  • Home State: Illinois
  • Notable Positions: President of the United States, Commanding General of the United States Army
  • Biography: Ulysses S. Grant is an American war hero and the symbol of Union victory in the aftermath of the Civil War. Born to an Ohio tanner, Ulysses was a small and sensitive child whose shyness was often mistaken for stupidity by friends and neighbors. Rejecting these allegations and determined to give Ulysses an outlet, Grant’s parents arranged for Grant to join the United States Military Academy at West Point, Grant’s only option for education given his family’s dire poverty. After several years of intense study, Grant emerged from West Point as an expert horseman and fearless leader who was prone to fits of emotion off the battlefield. In 1846, Grant joined the fight in Mexico and served under General Zachary Taylor. In 1860, Grant briefly returned to his family home before joining the Union Army against the Confederacy. During the fight for control over the Mississippi Valley, Grant distinguished himself and was promoted personally by Lincoln. Following skillful victories at Shiloh and Vicksburg, Grant was promoted to General-in-Chief. He is credited for the Union’s military success during the war and, in 1866, was named General of the Armies, a rank that had been achieved by no one except General Washington. He stands for election in 1868 as the most revered soldier in the Union and is second only to Lincoln in the public’s consciousness. Recent allegations of corruption, however, have stained in reputation.
  • Platform: After four years of fighting and half-a-million dead, the country is exhausted and ready for a leader who can heal the country’s divisions without repudiating the Civil War’s legacy. With his campaign slogan, “Let us have peace,” Grant promises to be just that. Calling upon memories of his victories against the South, promises that Lincoln’s memory will not forgotten. A strong opponent of Andrew Johnson, Grant has pushed for measures to ensure that Reconstruction continues unimpeded. Under the guidance of Grant and Radical Republicans, the Republican Platform includes support for black suffrage (but only in the South), full citizenship for former slaves (in the South), an open immigration (which will allow the North to grow relative to the South), and full rights for naturalized citizens (which will depress the South’s political power). He also thinks that the former slaves should probably be treated better and has used federal troops to hunt down white supremacist groups. Early in his administration, Grant established the Justice Department to prosecute individuals intimidated African Americans and tried to deny them voting rights.

    In other affairs, Grant is known for his scrupulous honesty (though many would call it political naivety). He has shunned the practice of patronage and promises to run the White House like he would run the military. This style of governance has caused numerous scandals and forced Grant to begrudgingly support civil service reform. Grant opposes the use of “Greenbacks,” excess paper money backed on faith in the federal government rather than gold, for the same reason. He will not pay back foreign debts incurred by the Confederacy. Though he wishes to rebuild the country, he has aspirations of establishing American hegemony over the Caribbean. Grant believes the country needs to rethink the treatment of native Americans and has moved to grant the natives reservations, on which they can escape dire poverty. Though these changes fall short of radically altering conditions of the natives, they are more than any other candidate offers.


Vice Presidential Nominee: Henry Wilson
  • Party Affiliation: Republican Party
  • Home State: Massachusetts
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from Massachusetts, President of the Massachusetts Senate, Member of the Massachusetts Senate, Member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives
  • Biography: Henry Wilson, born Jeremiah Jones Colbath, is a close friend of Ulysses S. Grant and a leader of the radical anti-slavery movement. The son of indentured servants and an indentured servant himself until the age of 21, Wilson swore to devote his life to “the cause of emancipation in America.” He learned how to make shoes to fund his higher education and in 1840 was elected to the Massachusetts legislature. Though he served that position for 12 years, Wilson became disappointed and embittered with his political allies, the Whig Party, for their ambivalence towards slavery. In 1848, he helped found the Free Soil Party, before switching to the Know-Nothings, and then the Republicans. After winning election to the Senate in 1854, Wilson became a strong opponent of the South and tried to build coalitions aimed at destroying the institution of slavery. During the Civil War, he oversaw action on over 15,000 War and Navy Department nominations while simultaneously recruiting, equipping, and personally leading men for Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry. After the war, Wilson became a leader of the Radical Republicans. Grant has picked Wilson as his nominee because Wilson’s image of honesty and integrity. This image has been badly tarnished by revelations that he has been taking bribes of cash and discounted stocks to support Union Pacific’s bid in building the First Transcontinental Railroad. Wilson tried to cover up these claims before denying and finally blaming the incident on his wife. As Wilson’s wife had died in 1870, officials have been forced to take Wilson at his word.
  • Platform: Wilson is a leader of the Radical Republicans and a strong opponent to the former leaders of the Confederacy. A strong advocate for equal rights, regardless of sex, race, or nationality, Wilson has introduced multiple bills to protect the rights of disenfranchised minorities. He has also defended Hiram Revels, the first black Senator and the first Senator to be elected from reconstructed Mississippi, after various members of the body tried to prevent him from being seated. He is, however, disappointed that the national government has not done more to promote African American voting rights. Wilson has pushed Congress to fund education for the newly freed slaves as well as poor whites, so that they might not be trapped in permanent poverty. Wilson also supports voting rights for women and has advocated for a Sixteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, styled on the Thirteenth, to grant women the right to vote. On economic affairs, Wilson has warned against excessive greed and cautioned the public against politicians who might accept bribes from private companies. He has especially warned against the railroad companies, who threaten to establish monopolies across the country, and requested legislation be written to stop them, though his specifics remain vague. Wilson believes that religion is a “national necessity,” and has called for an amendment to enshrine the importance of chaplains and the Bible in American society. He supports temperance because it promotes Christian virtue.

LIBERAL REPUBLICAN PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Horace Greeley
  • Party Affiliation: Liberal Republican Party
  • Home State: New York
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from New York, Editor of the New-York Tribune
  • Biography: Horace Greeley is the eccentric owner of the New York Tribune and a staple of New York City life. Born in Amherst, New Hampshire to a pair of farmers, Greeley was a voracious reader with a passion for learning. Unable to afford higher education, Greeley was apprenticed to be a printer at the age of 15 and began learning the trade that would define his life for years to come. When the paper closed in 1830, Greeley moved to New York City to seek his fortune. He wrote and edited for various papers. Witnessing mass unemployment and homelessness in New York City, he told his readers to, “Go West, young man, and grow up with the country.” Having earned enough money, Greeley established the New-York Tribune in 1841 and distributed the first paper on the anniversary of President Harrison’s death to memorialize his political idol. Since then, subscriptions have grown dramatically. The paper represents the highest standards in American journalism and is influential across the country and in Washington. Using the profits from his paper, Greeley has supported a political career for himself, effectively buying a Congressional seat, and fostered various odd ventures. He has promoted Fourierism, an eccentric utopian movement that seeks to establish communal associations across the country, and hired strange reporters that he finds “most instructive sources of information on the great questions of current European politics,” like Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. Greeley is an eccentric personality, known for his extremely odd and colourful style of dress. He seemingly has no understanding of social cues, which leave many of the people he meets perplexed.
  • Platform: Greeley represents a faction of the Republican Party that finds itself increasingly alienated from Grant. Initially a supporter, Greeley also represents a faction of Republicans disgusted by the massive corruption in the Grant administration. After four years of scandals, Greeley has loudly called for Civil Service Reform and the institution of strict oversight mechanisms to prevent corruption. In this capacity, Greeley is a potent adversary. As Congressman, he revealed that many congressmen were missing votes and had been awarded excessive reimbursements for travel. He has revealed the political class as corrupt and shown how the establishment benefits from the status quo. However, he has also bucked Republican orthodoxy regarding its relationship with the South. More so than any opponent, Greeley has called into question federal government intervention into the South. He seeks to replace Reconstruction with limited self-government and wants to recall federal troops from their outposts across the South. For Greeley, the government succeeded in guaranteeing civil and political rights for African Americans through the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Fifteenth Amendments. Thus, Reconstruction should end because, “North and South are eager to clasp hands across the bloody chasm which has so long divided them.”

    Greeley’s push for union has been complicated by his political inexperience. Over the last few years, Greeley has found himself on different sides of various issues. When the South seceded, he wrote in support of it. Later, he called for total war. When the war ended, he called for Reconstruction before reconsidering and instead advocating amnesty for all former Confederates, for fear of turning them into martyrs. Though it may be morally repugnant, Greeley believes that the federal government cannot deny the South universal male suffrage. He later co-signed the bail bond for Jefferson Davis’s release to emphasize this point. At different points in the Johnson administration, Greeley both supported and rejected the president’s removal. Many doubt that Greeley is even a Republican. The only point on which he is consistent is his call for high tariffs and federally sponsored internal improvements (even though both these policies contradict the Liberal Republican platform of free trade). He briefly employed Karl Marx as a foreign correspondent and has been known to support eccentric ventures, like phrenology, spiritualism, and utopian cooperative communities.


Vice Presidential Nominee: Benjamin G. Brown
  • Party Affiliation: Liberal Republican Party
  • Home State: Missouri
  • Notable Positions: Governor of Missouri, Member of the Missouri House of Representatives, Colonel in the Union Army
  • Biography: The grandson of Senators John Brown and Jesse Bledsoe, Benjamin G. Brown has pursued politics all his life. In 1845, Brown attended Transylvania University, where he became a member of the influential beta Theta Pi Fraternity, as well as Yale College to study law. Using his fraternal connections, Brown established a successful law firm in St. Louis, Missouri before joining forces with his cousin, Representative Francis P. Blair, to prevent pro-slavery forces from gaining control of the state Democratic Party. In 1854, Brown became a founding member of the Republican Party and worked diligently to prevent its secession. Lincoln’s moderation, particularly in the Emancipation Proclamation, alienated him and, in 1864, Brown worked behind the scenes to try and secure the nomination of John C. Fremont. Brown has vigorously supported Reconstruction and the Republican Party since the end of the war, but has recently become alienated from Grant because of the corruption in his administration. In 1870, he joined the Liberal Republicans for their promise of civil service reform. He is mildly unhappy with Greeley as his running mate.
  • Platform: Brown has joined Greeley on the ticket not because he supports Greeley but because he hates Grant and the corruption he has allowed to fester. Over the last four years, it has been revealed that virtually every official in Grant’s cabinet is corrupt, immoral, or insufficiently devoted to the American project. As a man committed to the Union above all else, Brown finds these failings despicable and a threat to the newly unified country. If Grant is allowed to continue to serve office, the South will soon be manipulating American politics from smoke-filled rooms and Reconstruction will be for naught. As one might expect from his history, Brown is a vigorous supporter of Reconstruction and was a vocal opponent to President Andrew Johnson’s moderate plan of Southern reintegration. He supported both the Civil Rights Bill and the Freedman’s Bureau Bill and thinks neither is entirely sufficient to address black concerns. Having worked for most of his career in German communities, Brown is a strong advocate of immigrant rights and believes that the United States should maintain a policy of open borders. He does not support imperial ventures.

BOURBON DEMOCRATIC PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Charles O’Conor
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: New York
  • Notable Positions: United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York
  • Biography: Charles O’Conor is the pillar of American conservatism and one of the country’s leaders in the fight against corruption. Born in New York City to an Irish immigrant and journalist, O’Conor knew about politics from an early age. At 16, O’Conor began to study law and by 21, he had earned himself a reputation as a legal scholar and counted members of the Van Buren family as clients. Though interested in public office, O’Conor’s attempts were stymied by his Catholicism and Irish heritage. Unable to join the Whigs, O’Conor affiliated himself with the Democratic Party, which already controlled much of New York politics. As his career developed, O’Conor gained increasing prestige within the American law community. His most prominent success, however, was in prosecuting the corrupt Boss Tweed. Using his abilities as a prosecutor, O’Conor almost single-handedly destroyed the Tweed Ring at the height of its power. Though legally brilliant, O’Conor holds views that are sometimes seem as antiquated and often accepts cases that alienate potential allies. After the Civil War’s conclusion, he acted as Jefferson Davis’s senior council. Despite constant ridicule, he has refused to sever ties with the Catholic Church. As one newspaper describes him, O’Conor “is at least entitled to respect [for his] consistency; he proclaims the doctrines of the Democratic party always, whether they are popular or not.”
  • Platform: Charles O’Conor represents a conservative branch of the Democratic Party that is unwilling to support the Liberal Republicans to unseat Grant. This faction, known both as “Bourbon Democrats” after the Bourbons of France and “Straight-Out Democrats” for their refusal to compromise, are defenders of the old order and of business. Prior to the American Civil War, O’Conor was a States’ Rights Democrat who saw the actions of abolitionists to be an assault on the constitutional rights of the South. Though he never expressed it publicly, O’Conor sympathized with the Confederate States throughout the war and tried to use his limited political capital to rally Catholics against Lincoln. As the war came to a conclusion, O’Conor opposed the ratification of the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Fifteenth Amendments as an assault on property rights and issued a legal opinion calling slavery a “national institution; that a man owning slaves in one State had the right to take them and hold them, permanently or otherwise.” He has since turned to lobbying for monetary compensation for former slaveowners, who have lost their livelihood because of abolition, and acted as Jefferson Davis’s senior counsel during the latter’s indictment. In other economic affairs, O’Conor has been notable for advocating a policy of government non-intervention in business. Believing that American companies are best at managing their own money, he has called for the federal government to relax its protectionist trade policies and remove regulatory barriers. O’Conor supports civil service reform and is a strong opponent of corruption. O’Conor was the central figure in the prosecution of Boss Tweed and oversaw the destruction of his political machine. He promises to do the same to all other corrupt politicians. O’Conor is a member of the Directory of the Friends of Ireland, an organization devoted to helping Ireland throw off the shackles of British rule.


Vice Presidential Nominee: John Quincy Adams, II
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: Massachusetts
  • Notable Positions: Member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, School Board Chairman of Quincy, Massachusetts
  • Biography: John Quincy Adams, II is the son of historian Charles Francis Adams and the grandson of President John Quincy Adams. He has run for Governor in his native state every year for five years with diminishing results. As a result of these ties, John is known to be extremely ambitious and is constantly seeking ways to elevate his status. In 1853, Adams graduated from Harvard University with a degree in law and was admitted to the bar. Unhappy with being just another lawyer, however, he established an experimental farm outside Quincy, Massachusetts, where he hoped to revolutionize American agriculture. Unsuccessful, Adams married into the politically powerful Crowninshield family and joined the military. During the Civil War, he served as a colonel. Though he was once a Republican, Adams joined the Democrats to protest their Reconstruction policies. He has run for Governor every year from since 1867, with diminishing results each time. He likely sees the ticket as an opportunity to increase his national profile.
  • Platform: John Quincy Adams II, like his running mate, is opposed to Reconstruction and believes the country needs to reunify as fast as possible. Though he once considered himself an ally to President Lincoln, Adams believes that the Republicans have abandoned the former’s policies by attempting to remove Johnson from office. He sees the corruption of the Grant administration as further evidence that the Republicans are uncommitted to the issue of national unity and a danger to the country at-large. He supports general amnesty for former Confederates. He also supports extensive civil service reform to prevent the systemic corruption that has defined the executive branch. In all other affairs, Adams is a business Democrat. He supports free trade and laissez-faire economics.

PROHIBITION PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: James Black
  • Party Affiliation: Prohibition Party
  • Home State: Pennsylvania
  • Notable Positions: Founding Member of the Good Templars, Co-Founder of the National Temperance Society and Publishing House, Founder of the Prohibition Party
  • Biography: James Black is a little-known temperance movement activist and the founder of the Prohibition Party. Black was born in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania in 1823. As a child, Black worked in a sawmill to support his ambitions of one day attending university to study law. Though unable to afford more prestigious schools, Black was able to work his way through Lewisburg Academy. He passed Pennsylvania’s state bar several years later and established a law practice in Lancaster. Though successful, Black became increasingly interested in politics as the Civil War approached. He joined the Republican Party and supported Lincoln’s presidency. However, he became increasingly alienated as the Republicans refused to commit themselves to anti-alcohol activism. In 1869, Black and his friends founded the Prohibition Party. Despite his best efforts, Black has not been able to secure the support of the Anti-Saloon League or the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, both of which are likely to undermine his candidacy.
  • Platform: The Prohibition Party, as one might expect, has made the prohibition of alcohol the central tenet of their party. Under Black’s leadership, the party has adopted a platform that seeks to end the traffic of liquor across state lines and require sobriety for all those holding public office. Black seeks to form a broad coalition of “total abstainers and not, [including those] who recognize the terrible injuries inflicted” by alcohol to gradually prohibit the possession of alcohol in every state. He believes alcohol is a threat to Christian civilization and an extreme social evil. While Black remains focused on the evils of alcohol, he has also pushed the party to adopt other reformist planks. He seeks to end the practice of patronage and stop “removals from public service for mere differences of political opinion.” He seeks fixed and moderate salaries for government employees and the establishment of oversight mechanisms to ensure accountability and minimize corruption. He also wants to ensure the direct election of the President, Vice-President, and Senators, a radical proposal that hasn’t been embraced since Jackson. Even more radically, James Black seeks women’s suffrage and has railed against voting restrictions caused by “color, race, former social condition, sex, or nationality.” He holds similar views on immigration, arguing that the United States should accept all immigrants, regardless of education or origin. Black believes in bimetallism, a system allowing the unrestricted currency of two metals as legal tender and wants to turn the telegraph, railroads, and water travel into public utilities. He has no views on foreign policy.


Vice Presidential Nominee: John Russell
  • Party Affiliation: Prohibition Party
  • Home State: Michigan
  • Notable Positions: Head of the Good Templars of the World, Chairman of the Prohibition Party’s National Committee, Journalist for the Detroit Peninsular Herald
  • Biography: John Russell is an obscure Methodist preacher and prohibition advocate operating in Detroit, Michigan. Though lesser-known than his running mate, Father Russell has been involved with the Prohibition Movement since its foundation and was instrumental in getting it established in the Midwest and Europe. In England, he presided over the first session of the Order of the Good Templars of the World. He occasionally writes for the Detroit Detroit Peninsular Herald.
  • Platform: Very little is known of John Russell or his views. As a member of the Prohibition Party, Russell supports temperance and the eventual prohibition of alcohol. He is also a strong proponent of reform movements, including women’s suffrage and civil rights. He believes that all of these movements are needed to ensure the country’s Christian character and hopes that the United States will one day explicitly accept its status as a Christian nation. Little else is known about Russell or his political views.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 15:19 on Apr 17, 2016

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QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Special Notice: In the unlikely event that a winning candidate dies during the election, I will run a special run-off election for candidates that might have picked up electoral votes in their place. I will refer you to an encyclopedia to determine who these officials might be and what a run-off might look like.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 15:29 on Apr 17, 2016

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015
I never thought I would say these words, but here you go: I voted for the prohibition party, essentially because of this:


QuoProQuid posted:

James Black seeks women’s suffrage and has railed against voting restrictions caused by “color, race, former social condition, sex, or nationality.”

That's good enough for me. Black/Russell 1872

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Adams.... no... :negative:

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012
I like Adams, and bourbon, but...

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Thump! posted:

Adams.... no... :negative:

Goon: "I wish I could vote for an Adams again."

*finger on the monkey's paw curls*

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
Between the proto-communist, the suffragists, and grant this might be the closest election we've ever had

SpRahl
Apr 22, 2008
So we have a choice between them morally upstanding and pretty cool guy Grant who unfortunately has a corrupt as gently caress administration, a proto communist with poor views towards former slaves and does not want to gently caress the South, another Adams candidate! Who is sadly the vice presidential candidate and his running mate is a confederate sympathizer, and the Prohibition Party with great views like equality and womens suffrage but... no alcohol.


Man this might be the toughest election.

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



SpRahl posted:

So we have a choice between them morally upstanding and pretty cool guy Grant who unfortunately has a corrupt as gently caress administration, a proto communist with poor views towards former slaves and does not want to gently caress the South, another Adams candidate! Who is sadly the vice presidential candidate and his running mate is a confederate sympathizer, and the Prohibition Party with great views like equality and womens suffrage but... no alcohol.


Man this might be the toughest election.

I'm glad we actually have a choice again.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

As an aside, there's some speculation that Greeley might have been on the autism spectrum. In his personal papers, Greeley believed that his eccentric behavior was a result of his inability to pick up social cues and often described himself as having "brain fever." Because of his obsession with facts (Greeley could allegedly list off each congressional district by county and memorized vote tallies in Congress) and social isolation, some historians have tried to diagnose him with Asperger's Syndrome.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 15:56 on Apr 17, 2016

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
Don't forget that Grant was one of the very few people at the time whose policies towards Native Americans could be described as something other than genocidal, and he even appointed the first actual Native American to head the Bureau of Indian Affairs in 1869.

Grant's presidency really is a tragedy in many ways, since he had the progressive views and the strength of conviction to be one of America's all-time greats-but unfortunately, he was let down by his utter inability to choose qualified subordinates.

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
There comes a time in every man's life when he must set aside hard cider for the common good.

e: vvv I too am constantly second-guessing myself over the choices. After so many elections in a row where the choice was obvious, it's nice to have an actual decision to make.

Pakled has issued a correction as of 16:30 on Apr 17, 2016

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011
This is a really good election, and I am already disappointed in my decision.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
Grant killed the klan and that's why I'm voting for him

Franco Potente
Jul 9, 2010
Temperance? In my America? Not likely!

GRANT!
*Slams HARD CIDER*

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Franco Potente posted:

Temperance? In my America? Not likely!

GRANT!
*Slams HARD CIDER*

Wait are you the one slamming the hard cider here or is Grant?

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

gently caress it, Full Communism Now

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.
i can't believe i voted against an adams

i can't believe i voted against an adams to vote for the loving prohibition party

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.
John Quincy Adams II is a traitor to the Adams name.

Grant's a good guy, but he's proven that he can't handle the presidency. I don't believe in the prohibitionist's main cause, but I'm sure the amendment process will take care of that eventually. The rest of his platform is perfect.

Lycus has issued a correction as of 18:04 on Apr 17, 2016

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.

Lycus posted:

John Quincy Adams II is a traitor to the Adams name.

if only we'd listened to hamilton and destroyed our own party to take out adams this never would have happened*

*this would happen because it happened in actual history

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

I was excited for a moment about the Bourbon Democrats, but apparently whiskey has nothing to do with it. Grant may have his issues, but his heart is in the right place. Reconstruction needs to happen, and blacks need to have their rights enshrined in federal protection, even if it might just be a way at getting back at the south. And even though there's all these corruption allegations, you gotta love how Grant goes against the grain of everybody else in Washington.

Prohibition is such a weird issue. Back in its time it was wrapped up with all sorts of different issues, and now in the modern day, we've lost most of the context for it. I didn't know it started this early.

Andorra
Dec 12, 2012
Dresses weird, doesn't understand social cues, is into Marx, goes back and forth on issues depending on what's convenient for the moment, and probably doesn't even believe in the party views he represents? I cannot vote for a D&D Goon for president.

Gorgo Primus
Mar 29, 2009

We shall forge the most progressive republic ever known to man!
Alcohol: Clearly the source of sexism, racism, privatization, and anti-immigrant nativism. Vote Prohibition!

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Andorra posted:

Dresses weird, doesn't understand social cues, is into Marx, goes back and forth on issues depending on what's convenient for the moment, and probably doesn't even believe in the party views he represents? I cannot vote for a D&D Goon for president.

Fishmech 1884!

GSD
May 10, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
Will Greeley appoint Karl Marx to a cabinet post?

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.
Note that the Prohibiton party, unlike the folks who eventually got the Prohibition amendment, are interested in a gradual shifting of American norms and laws against alcohol, not immediately banning it through out the country. Black's radical egalitarianism is separate from his detestation of alcohol- I suspect both come from his Christian faith, and hatred of barriers to equality for the impoverished.

Jump King
Aug 10, 2011

Hm, an adams ticket bourbon party going up against suffragette prohibition party, tough call.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Equal Rights Party or bust, motherfuckers. Victoria Woodhull is an amazing woman and Frederick Douglas an equally fine man*. If they don't win, us suffragettes are going to burn this mother down.

*Granted, it would've been nice if they'd told him he was nominated as VP.

Lycus posted:

John Quincy Adams II is a traitor to the Adams name.

John Adams II is the Jeb of the family: an increasing disappointment unlikely to ever be the next member of the family to get in the White House.

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

yeah, this is tough, which is cool. i think i'm gonna go grant

Jump King
Aug 10, 2011

I'm going to give myself some time to weigh the options

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich
It's funny that Adams is on arguably the shittiest ticket

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Corek posted:

It's funny that Adams is on arguably the shittiest ticket

It's so the Bourbons seem at least somewhat palatable.

Plus, Adams doesn't want to win. He just wants to do well enough that he can pursue his dream of being Governor of Massachusetts.

GSD posted:

Will Greeley appoint Karl Marx to a cabinet post?

http://www.americanheritage.com/content/when-karl-marx-worked-horace-greeley

quote:

Turning the pages to see who this most clear and vigorous German might be, readers glanced past such items as a “Grand Temperance Rally in the 13th Ward"; a Philadelphia story headlined “Cruelty of a Landlord—Brutality of a Husband”: a Boston campaign telegram announcing a Whig demonstration “in favor of Daniel Webster for President.” Then they reached a long article entitled “Revolution and Counter-Revolution,” over the by-line, Karl Marx.

“The first act of the revolutionary drama on the Continent of Europe has closed,” it began upon a somber organ tone: “The ‘powers that were’ before the hurricane of 1848, are again the ‘powers that be.’” But, contributor Marx went on, swelling to his theme, the second act of the movement was soon to come, and the interval before the storm was a good time to study the “general social state … of the convulsed nations” that led inevitably to such upheavals.

He went on to speak of “bourgeoisie” and “proletariat”—strange new words to a readership absorbed at the moment with the Whig state convention, the late gale off Nova Scotia and with editor Greeley’s strictures against Tammany and Locofocoism. “The man goes deep—very deep for me,” remarked one of Greeley’s closest friends, editor Beman Brockway of upstate Watertown, New York. “Who is he?”

Karl Marx, a native of the Rhineland, had been for a short time the editor of a leftist agitational newspaper in Cologne until the Prussian police closed it down and drove him out. At thirty, exiled in Paris, he had composed as his own extremist contribution to the uprisings of 1848 an obscure tract called the Communist Manifesto. At least at this moment it was still obscure, having been overtaken by events and forgotten in the general tide of reaction that followed the surge of 1848 abroad. Thrown out of France in turn as a subversive character, he had settled in London, tried unsuccessfully to launch another left-wing journal there, spent the last of his small savings, and now was on his uppers with his wife and small children in a two-room hovel in Soho, desperately in need of work.

Horace Greeley is the reason why the Communist Manifesto was able to spread.

Without Horace Greeley, there is no Das Kapital. No socialism. No Stalins, Lenins, or Trotskys.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 23:41 on Apr 17, 2016

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

lambeth posted:

Equal Rights Party or bust, motherfuckers. Victoria Woodhull is an amazing woman and Frederick Douglas an equally fine man*. If they don't win, us suffragettes are going to burn this mother down.

I actually tried looking up the results for that party and apparently they got so few votes it shows up as 0 in the most comprehensive source I can find.

http://www.ourcampaigns.com/RaceDetail.html?RaceID=1964

She got less votes than no-name independents William Palmer, George W. Slocum, and James B. Weaver (though you'll be hearing from him soon.)

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015
If elected, Victoria Woodhull would also have been too young to become president. According to the Wikipedia article, there was no constitutional stipulation regarding the gender of the president, but she was under the constitutional minimum age of 35 years.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Ibogaine posted:

If elected, Victoria Woodhull would also have been too young to become president. According to the Wikipedia article, there was no constitutional stipulation regarding the gender of the president, but she was under the constitutional minimum age of 35 years.

It will happen several times. In 1972, for example, the Socialist Workers Party will nominate thirty-one year old Linda Jenness in protest. Her candidacy will, in turn, spur a Supreme Court case upholding the right of states tokeep minor parties off the ballot.

Probably not the impact Jenness hoped for when she decided to run.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 23:49 on Apr 17, 2016

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich
If it makes anyone feel better, another Adams is a rising star in the Prohibition Party and will run in 1880:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Adams_Thompson

(He's not related)

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
It's even harder if you consider a hypothetical 'what would I vote in real life' where the prohibition guys are absolutely wasting your vote and you have to pick between the two republican candidates.

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone

Mark Twain posted:


I met Mr. Greeley only once and then by accident. It was in 1871, in the (old) Tribune office. I climbed one or two flights of stairs and went to the wrong room. I was seeking Colonel John Hay and I really knew my way and only lost it by my carelessness. I rapped lightly on the door, pushed it open and stepped in. There sat Mr. Greeley, busy writing, with his back to me. I think his coat was off. But I knew who it was, anyway. It was not a pleasant situation, for he had the reputation of being pretty plain with strangers who interrupted his train of thought. The interview was brief. Before I could pull myself together and back out, he whirled around and glared at me through his great spectacles and said:

"Well, what in hell do you want!"

"I was looking for a gentlem____"

"Don't keep them in stock -- clear out!"

I could have made a very neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs."

Big enough of an rear end to get my vote.

Proposition Joe
Oct 8, 2010

He was a good man
Very tough call between Greeley (Feel the Greel!) and Black. Ultimately voted for James Black because Horace's opposition of reconstruction was too tough of a pill to swallow.

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GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013

Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
The fact that this wasn't a race between Greeley and Black in real life is a testament is to how terrible past Americans were.

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