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Do both you and your wife want the sleep arrangement to change? The reason I ask is because it sounds like if your wife isn't suggesting/researching sleep training methods she may not want to stop cosleeping. Your opinion counts too of course! But if cosleeping is still working for her she might not want to mess with it.
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Apr 21, 2016 16:57
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We both want to change the sleeping arrangement. We've just had a hard time summoning the willpower since I'm nearing the end of my graduate studies and she teaches, so the sleep we're currently getting is the minimum we'd be happy with. Pantley was definitely mentioned in the sleep-training section of Baby 411, but few details were given other than "a combination of Ferber, Weissbluth, and reality". I'll look into that some more, thanks.
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Apr 21, 2016 17:12
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Okay, some advice on changing behaviour for my 15 month old please. He has become quite the climber, which isn't surprising considering how early he started. He can get up most anything, but thankfully has shown no real interest in the majority of things we'd rather not rather have him climbing at this point, and we've reduced interest on most of the others by clearing floor-visible "want" items. But he's decided he's going to make it his mission now to climb onto my desk, and I'm not really sure what to do to prevent it. I can't remove the computer stuff, esp the monitor, to any place more secure than where it is right now. I've been saying "no" and putting him in the hallway behind the baby gate where he cries for a couple minutes before I let him back in, but half the time he goes right back to the desk and we repeat it. I was originally putting him in his crib, but my wife pointed out we didn't want to associate it with punishment. Will this eventually work? Should I be doing something else? Maybe get a spray bottle, hah
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Apr 21, 2016 17:26
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GlyphGryph posted:Okay, some advice on changing behaviour for my 15 month old please. It WILL eventually work. (The problem is how long the "eventually" lasts. But it will work). Be consistent. You might consider giving him an appropriate alternative. Clear out some space *somewhere* and give him something he is allowed to climb and redirect him to that every time he starts climbing inappropriately. It's often easier to redirect the behavior than to exterminate it entirely. My kid was a climber. He's got special needs and the climbing was essentially a sensory seeking behavior. It was far easier to get him to climb an appropriate thing than it was to stop the climbing entirely - because he was still getting what he felt he needed, just in a way that wasn't dangerous (he was a fan of the top of the dining room table and, my personal favorite: using bookshelves as ladders to the point where I once caught him dangling by his fingertips from the top shelf of a 7 foot bookshelf in the time it took me to take a piss). Also while you're at it: ensure all furniture is anchored to the wall.
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Apr 21, 2016 17:48
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for everything else alternatives work but i think the desk fascination is specifically with the computer and the climbing is just the means so that doesnt seem to do much. Will just have to stay conistent and patient
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Apr 21, 2016 18:10
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GlyphGryph posted:for everything else alternatives work but i think the desk fascination is specifically with the computer and the climbing is just the means so that doesnt seem to do much. Will just have to stay conistent and patient We gave our kid an extra keyboard and mouse to help with this. He also has an xbox controller with no batteries so he can do that too. Since our computer is connected to our tv he was after the mouse and keyboard from day one. Otherwise, just keep up with what you're doing. It will eventually work. Just keep in mind that nothing works consistently with toddlers.
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Apr 21, 2016 19:04
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Does anyone have recommendations for (free) resources on teaching sign language to your baby? It's very appealing to be able to communicate with baby months before he can start speaking. Any personal anecdotes or advice would be great too!
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Apr 26, 2016 20:38
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I've done signing in a classroom and childcare setting and with my own kid. My stubborn child would only do a few signs, but the ones he did really did help! It had been awhile since I had used it in the classroom so with my own kid I just got some books from the library and then googled any I wasn't sure of how to do correctly. There were some board books available at the library too. I would start with the basics: eat, drink, more/again, milk (for breastfeeding/bottle), change (for diaper change), please and thank you. Then add more as you see the need. Fruit was a big one for us, my little guy loves fruit! The thing to remember is that it doesn't matter if they or you do it correctly, so much as if you do it consistently. It's okay to make up your own signs or modify a sign for your child. Personally, I always start with ASL as my source for signs, although I know there are non-ASL baby sign stuff out there. I usually just start out modeling the signs and then after a while I will do it hand over hand with the child. I always say the word as well as sign it, as the point is to use it as a step towards verbal language. I would avoid trying to introduce too many signs at once. Start with a few. Pick whichever are most important to you to start with. Just an FYI more and again are two separate signs, but most babies will pick one and use it to mean both.
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Apr 26, 2016 21:55
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Hi_Bears posted:Does anyone have recommendations for (free) resources on teaching sign language to your baby? It's very appealing to be able to communicate with baby months before he can start speaking. Any personal anecdotes or advice would be great too! Baby Signing Time videos are like baby crack. Try the library!
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Apr 27, 2016 01:36
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So, on getting him to not climb the desk - when he's been doing it I've been saying "no" and removing him from the room/moving him to something else. The response is crying, which, whatever. The problem is that he is now doing it more. He reaches for it, pauses and looks at me to make sure I'm watching him, laughs, and then when I say no and reach to move him he climbs up as quickly as he can. He starts whining/crying as soon as I touch him, of course, sometimes even before because it's very obvious he knows exactly what the result is going to be. What have I done. How do I fix this.
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Apr 27, 2016 04:13
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Sounds exactly like my daughter. The moment you tell her no she gets that sly little grin and sloowwwwlllyyy does exaclty what she's not supposed to. And then throws a tantrum when you carry her away/take away whatever. I basically tell her no again, tell her why she shouldn't, and distract her with something else that is (kind of) similar to what she was doing. My daughters thing right now is climbing on something (a small stool/her bed) then jumping into our arms...whether we are ready or not...
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Apr 27, 2016 04:19
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heard my boys arranged a jailbreak yesterday from daycare, another younger boy fell and split his lip, in the commotion they took their chance and opened the door (chain was off). They spotted them going out the door but the person who noticed was holding the boy who had fallen and by the time another one could go after them (few seconds) they had gone out the inner door and down a few steps to the outer door and brought a girl their age with them outside. By the time they where caught they where on the lawn in their socks, and it was raining. Explains why they had new socks when I picked them up. Same thing happened this weekend when they managed to open the door despite thinking it was locked, we must not have shut it hard enough. I was watching TV, looked out and saw Daniel on the patio, where it was snowing and he was in a t-shirt and diapers looking in and laughing.
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Apr 27, 2016 08:08
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That's pretty tame as baby adventures go. My then two year old got our front door open because he wanted to go to the grocery store with mommy and I was busy working in another room and didn't hear him. His mommy found him at the corner about to cross the street on her way back from the store 
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Apr 27, 2016 12:26
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This is my biggest fear! Right now he can't open the front doors, but he's getting close...I think I better get a chain lock this weekend. Thanks for reminding me! On another note, I've given in and am going the route of the kid leash. My 2 year old is a bolter and our bodies have decided to break down so chasing him is difficult. For anyone who uses a mei tai style carrier, I discovered you can make a quick and effective kid leash out of it in seconds. Just roll up the body to make it small and fit across the kid's chest. Take the short strap on one side over the arm and the long strap under the arm and tie, do the same on the other arm then bring the rest of the short straps together to tie in the middle of the back creating the harness. I also tied the long straps together in the middle of the back so they'd stay together and the long straps become the leash. It worked great and when he got too tired I was able to use the carrier to carry him. 2 in 1 and nothing new to buy.
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Apr 27, 2016 13:44
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We put a chain lock on our doors way up high to stop the trips outside since my kid figured out how to unlock and open our doors.
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Apr 27, 2016 13:49
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We have to put a chain on our cellar doors soon. He hasn't quite figured out how to open it yet, but he can reach the handle and he knows that's got something to do with it.
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Apr 27, 2016 16:21
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GlyphGryph posted:
I'm no behaviorist, but it could be an extinction burst. Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually baby will tire of the new game they've created and move on to something that doesn't get them taken out of the room.
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Apr 27, 2016 16:40
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Kalenn Istarion posted:That's pretty tame as baby adventures go. My then two year old got our front door open because he wanted to go to the grocery store with mommy and I was busy working in another room and didn't hear him. His mommy found him at the corner about to cross the street on her way back from the store Fortunately we're out in the country so biggest dangers here would be perhaps Moose or deer?
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Apr 28, 2016 04:31
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Going for a 3 week backpacking through europe/north africa (portugal, spain and morocco) trip with a 7 months old baby in a few days... Wish us luck! I'm excited and terrified in equal measures. If someone did something similar and you have specific tip you wished someone told you before you left I'm all ears
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Apr 28, 2016 19:41
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2 things have happened: 1: my now 16 month toddler wants to do everything without help. Including deciding when she wants diaper changes (never, shaking her head no etc) and becoming an impossible to pick up limp noodle when we try as well as rolling over constantly. Does this mean potty training time? She knows when she's going bathroom and signs it/squats/grunts. 2: This same independence is exhausting the poo poo out of my wfh job wife, who is burning herself out forcing herself to focus on wfh + nursing + diapers +housewife(food) while her parents are here every day taking care of the baby 100%. How can I (I work full time) help her make herself relax on the responsibility a little? I'm already taking over 100% in the mornings and evenings aside when I'm home aside from 15m to shower and dress in the morning /5min to scarf food in the evening. So either I do dishes/laundry/cook/prep/clean or I do diaper changes/clean baby/watch baby, whichever she prefers every night - someone does one and someone does the other. I'm not worried about me as much as her. Thoughts please, anyone? notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Apr 28, 2016 |
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Apr 28, 2016 23:49
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Can you afford daycare even just part time?
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Apr 29, 2016 00:34
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notwithoutmyanus posted:2 things have happened: If it helps, the fighting the diaper change thing is just a phase. A really annoying one, mind you, but in my experience it was a rather short phase (2-3 months?) If your parents are there taking care of the baby, can they take her to a park or somewhere out of the house to give your wife a break? Or maybe your wife can go off to a different part of the house (baby free)?. It sounds like she just needs a break from the constant fighting and whining. Would your wife consider stopping nursing? It may not seem like much, but it took a lot of pressure off me when I stopped. Another suggestion would be to do a large cooking together on Saturdays/Sundays to freeze so that you don't have to cook every night during the week.
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Apr 29, 2016 01:40
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Kitiara posted:If it helps, the fighting the diaper change thing is just a phase. A really annoying one, mind you, but in my experience it was a rather short phase (2-3 months?) If your parents are there taking care of the baby, can they take her to a park or somewhere out of the house to give your wife a break? Or maybe your wife can go off to a different part of the house (baby free)?. It sounds like she just needs a break from the constant fighting and whining. My potato is already mad at the diaper change part. Hes 2 months old.  notwithoutmyanus posted:
My wife is wfh too. We're extremely fortunate that her work hours are flexible so she does what she can and I watch him on her work days (only 3 days a week). When she isn't working, I do whatever I can to help her unwind. We also take turns on the weekends letting the other sleep in. She takes him on Saturday mornings so I can sleep. I do the same on Sundays. It's really helped.
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Apr 29, 2016 17:37
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Kitiara posted:Would your wife consider stopping nursing? It may not seem like much, but it took a lot of pressure off me when I stopped. Another suggestion would be to do a large cooking together on Saturdays/Sundays to freeze so that you don't have to cook every night during the week. I assumed he meant his wife was in nursing school, which would be harder to stop. 
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Apr 29, 2016 18:11
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Alterian posted:Can you afford daycare even just part time? Can? Yes. We're a bit adverse to it due to eating vegetarian, still nursing and cosleeping though. It took months for her to be comfortable considering a nanny again, because last time we had an awful one whom our daughter hated. Full on whimpering snotty red faced crying, stopping only to gasp for air. This was when we lived in a 2br apt as opposed to our current 4br house. Re nursing : I can ask but she wanted to go until at least 2 y/o.
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Apr 29, 2016 18:25
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notwithoutmyanus posted:Can? Yes. We're a bit adverse to it due to eating vegetarian, still nursing and cosleeping though. quote:Re nursing : I can ask but she wanted to go until at least 2 y/o. Is she willing to do pump&freeze style stuff? I understand the health benefits and doing it when it's convenient, but it's possible to make it still work with daycare.
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Apr 29, 2016 18:59
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Some of the friends in her mom group are also vegetarian and have had daycares that don't accept it nor cloth diapers. Probably should have mentioned that too. lol. She does do pump and freeze when she needs to do work trips and be away for a day, etc. I don't know if she's considered it for an everyday thing.
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Apr 29, 2016 19:12
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Holy poo poo I'd forgotten how bad the 18 month sleep regression was. Up at 3 every morning for 2 hours without fail. Going into the second week. My wife's just left for the weekend for a girls weekend.
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Apr 29, 2016 19:17
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notwithoutmyanus posted:Some of the friends in her mom group are also vegetarian and have had daycares that don't accept it nor cloth diapers. Probably should have mentioned that too. lol. Wow, I had no idea, I've never had a daycare have any problem with dietary requirements (nor cloth diapers, though I did have a small one surprised they even existed as a thing people use). You also don't have do every day, we only do daycare two days a week for example.
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Apr 29, 2016 20:04
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notwithoutmyanus posted:Can? Yes. We're a bit adverse to it due to eating vegetarian, still nursing and cosleeping though. I'm very sorry, but please tell me that you vaccinate.
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Apr 29, 2016 21:41
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I nursed until 22 mos, am vegetarian, and would have coslept if my kid tolerated it (he hates it and wants to sleep alone). He has been in daycare since 2 mos. I don't see a conflict here?
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Apr 30, 2016 00:26
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Also still nursing and cosleeping at nearly 2 years old, and I have a happy daughter who is thriving in daycare 5 days/week. But we don't exclusively breastfeed anymroe--my daughter eats normal food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but nurses in the mornings and evenings (and sometimes more frequently during the weekends). My milk supply has adjusted--I didn't see the need to pump after 12 months if her nutritional needs are met. Many daycares accommodate vegetarian diets. Cloth diapers might be tricky, but if it's only for 1-2 days/week then using disposables might be a reasonable trade off for your wife's mental health. Starting daycare was a huge relief for us. My daughter got so much stimulation, socialization, and exposure to learning than I could provide her at home, and I actually got a break. And it was really helpful for having her start to learn boundaries and routines, especially around introducing foods (she used to refuse solids if I was around since she preferred milk).
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Apr 30, 2016 06:39
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His Divine Shadow posted:Fortunately we're out in the country so biggest dangers here would be perhaps Moose or deer? Moose are incredibly dangerous if you get close, deer less so. :p The big danger if I got outside as a kid was getting to the end of our laneway where lots of trucks and farm equipment would go by
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Apr 30, 2016 06:57
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Kalenn Istarion posted:Moose are incredibly dangerous if you get close, deer less so. :p The main statistical danger from moose I guess is hitting one with your car. Half a ton of mortally wounded meat coming in through your windshield (and they usually will because they're walking around on stilts) will ruin anyone's day.
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Apr 30, 2016 08:17
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notwithoutmyanus posted:2 things have happened: That phase is pretty universal. All of a sudden they want to do things themselves and they can just barely do it... or just barely not do it and it is certainly frustrating for everyone. With daycares, are there even non-vegetarian daycares any more? None of the ones in my city serve meat. At least, that I've found. Still, hiring a nanny/baby sitter for 2 days a week would probably help her really get a lot of work work done.
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Apr 30, 2016 17:12
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Well I was certainly hoping we'd get a bit older than 21 months before having our first big hospital experience but it wasn't to be! Last week we had Hand Foot and Mouth and a day after getting over that a spider bite sized bump popped up on her butt cheek where it meets her leg. We waited a few days to make sure it wasn't a bit then went to the doc. He said it was a skin infection, probably staph, as a result of a HFMD (she had a lot of bumps in her diaper area). He spent maybe 5 seconds looking at it and gave us some antibiotics and sent us home. The next day at about 4 o'clock I noticed the side of her vagina getting red and then like 30 minutes later it was clear something was spreading. Called the doc back who said he was perfectly fine waiting overnight, but if it got worse the next day then take her in to the ER. We opted to take her to the ER right there. She had started a fever and clearly not feeling good. We immediately got triaged and the nurse almost instantly said "yeah she's getting admitted for this... it's clearly spreading and near her rectum and vagina. That's not good. They'll put her on aggressive IV antibiotics at the very least." We had to wait 2 more hours in a sweltering children's ER waiting room to finally get looked at by the doc. He said the same thing but then said "and it's by the rectum so we have to fix that in surgery. We need to make sure it never forms a fistula." Which immediately made my wife start crying. First time in the ER and it immediately swings to surgery! We talk with the actual surgical docs and they assure us it's a super simple and quick procedure. They'll incise it and drain it and if it's tracked up they'll put a penrose drain in it. Of course we were an add-on surgery so no telling when we get in the schedule. They admit us to a room which, for such an acclaimed children's hospital, was woefully unprepared to have one adult sleeping in it much less two. There was one chair/bed and then a single rocker that was hilariously shallow (the cushion was like 14" deep) and, being the dad, what I had to sleep on. Also the surgical crib brand name was "HARD" which is kind of funny. First night goes fine except for momma and dadda sleeping like poo poo. Baby, despite having not been able to have any food or drink since midnight was doing fantastic especially with an IV in the entire time... she only unscrewed it once from her hand! She'd ask for juice from time to time but really took it all like a champ. We waited and waited and the vaginal area where it spread really started getting worse looking. We expressed our concern and they were more than happy to send the surgical RN down to talk to us and she totally allayed our fears ("this is normal, she's acting happy and playful and not lethargic, etc etc"). Couple of hours later and we were off to surgery. They let us have some time with her in the prep area and then took her off to be sedated. She freaked out of course thinking we were leaving her. All in all they took maybe 30 minutes to do the whole thing start to finish -sedate,drain,gather for culture and insert drains. She ended up needing two drains. One at the original site and a loop drain further up into the labia area where it spread. They only let one parent at a time into recovery and mom went first. Apparently baby woke up like a drunken Irish boxer on PCP and was swinging/punching/pulling/scratching everything to the point where they had to sedate her to calm her down. After coming off the sedation though she was fine. And the big state vet school here had a little surprise therapy stuffed dog pet for her waiting in her room when she got back. She has a lot of stuffed animals but she latched on to this one like nothing I've ever seen (I'm guessing it's the combination of seeing a stuffed animal after coming out of a traumatic situation that helps them immediately attach). Spent the night for observation - everything went well - removed the packing and IV and now we're home. She was home all of one hour before getting rowdy and falling on one her drain spots (since it's on the butt it's kind of hard not to aggrevate) hard and making it bleed even more. Also cleaning up watery poos as she finally gets more stuff in her system is a nightmare since she doesn't want you to touch that area at ALL. Now we're on antibiotics for 7 days and then should be good to go after that! The doctors and nurses at this place were all top notch so it's nice knowing that we have a great children's hospital nearby. And I always hate my little butterbean being in the hospital at all, much less having to undergo so much trauma (and the endless changing of dressing afterward which just reignites the trauma) but at least we did so with a relatively minor enough incident that now we know the drill for the inevitable next time. Anyway not a whole lot of point to this but to share the experience for anybody else that might go through the same thing. Here she is showing off her little surgical gown and finally getting her juice: 
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Apr 30, 2016 20:05
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GlyphGryph posted:Only the nursing bit seems relevant here? There's no need to pump during the day to replace feedings once your child is over 12 mo. If nursing three times a day or more, no supplementary "milk" (cow, soy, rice, whatever) is required.
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Apr 30, 2016 20:32
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Bonoman, that's awful! I'm glad she's feeling much better, at least she has nappy padding to protect the area. I can feel for her, I've had something very similar (with surgery, drains & all!) which developed out of nowhere. It's not fun. eta: a bottle of water (like a sport one with the squirty nozzle) works well to rinse the area after poop. Saves a lot of hurty wiping. iwik fucked around with this message at 00:00 on May 1, 2016 |
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Apr 30, 2016 23:56
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Does anyone have any awesome dressers and coat racks that you've bought on Amazon? My twins are three years old and it is high time they pick out their own clothes, plus they are hanging up their jackets and such at preschool so I'd like to continue the trend at home. Thanks!
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May 1, 2016 03:26
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KingColliwog posted:Going for a 3 week backpacking through europe/north africa (portugal, spain and morocco) trip with a 7 months old baby in a few days... Wish us luck! I'm excited and terrified in equal measures. If someone did something similar and you have specific tip you wished someone told you before you left I'm all ears This got a little buried, but GOOD LUCK! We are taking our 5-, 3- and 2-year olds on a flight from California to Australia later this year, and spending 8 days/nights campervanning around Brisbane. If you can survive 3 weeks hiking a little one around, we can survive our little adventure!
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May 1, 2016 04:06
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