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i detect the foul stench of a 'branding consultant'
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Apr 27, 2016 19:58
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Lowen SoDium posted:Most recent restaurants I have looked up online only have Facebook pages.
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Apr 27, 2016 20:09
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Data Graham posted:
A thousand times this
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Apr 27, 2016 20:57
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I sort of remember a small but popular trend of just every webpage being a single huge jpeg and just used image mapping to assign link locations. It seems a lot less prevalent now, but I'm sure it's still a popular technique.
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Apr 27, 2016 21:11
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Literally every bad website trend that existed was something I was taught during various classes I took in high school that might have involved HTML.
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Apr 27, 2016 21:17
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Efexeye posted:Restaurants almost universally have terrible, terrible web presences. I looked up the music track that plays on my town's sushi place's website and it's like from the inuyasha soundtrack or something. And here I thought it was the Hibachi place that was run by weeaboos. Casimir Radon posted:That's not really ideal if the information you want wasn't posted in the last week or so. Nope, it sure isn't! But they do it anyway!
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Apr 27, 2016 21:19
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JediTalentAgent posted:I sort of remember a small but popular trend of just every webpage being a single huge jpeg and just used image mapping to assign link locations. It seems a lot less prevalent now, but I'm sure it's still a popular technique. O.K. I am just defending it because I had a webpage like that in 1998. But still.
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Apr 27, 2016 21:54
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Dr. Quarex posted:It might seem ridiculous, but thinking about how those "huge .JPGs" were probably like 150k makes that trend seem like elegant minimalism in comparison. Sometimes. I also liked when a site would break that 1 picture up into 50 or so different chunks, so when the website loaded you got to feel like your internet was SCREAMING fast.
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Apr 27, 2016 21:56
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let me check their hours-oh. geez. babe, can you wait another 20 minutes before we leave? i just stepped in a Web Experience.
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Apr 27, 2016 22:15
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 I hated the site this far in. Also good job shitlords, requesting desktop site on mobile just serves the mobile site again. Death by guillotine
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Apr 28, 2016 00:52
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Data Graham posted:This is it exactly. I remember doing a site around 1997 or so where we had to put a Java Applet in it, somewhere, didn't care what it did, just as long as our web page had Java. I ended up making a thing at the top of the site that just faded in some text that said WELCOME TO MY WEB PAGE and faded it back out. That poo poo was actually good enough for some people. I guess Microsoft somewhat encouraged similar behavior by telling you that if you put a "Best Viewed with Internet Explorer" icon on your page, included an ActiveX control somewhere on it, and then registered your page with them, they'd start sending you free stuff. I think I got a beta version of Visual InterDev which totally hosed up my Windows 95 install (I had to do some registry hacking to stop the shell crashing on boot) and maybe one other CD of stuff that wasn't very memorable. It wasn't worth selling my soul to the devil for! I have a plugin that doesn't enable JavaScript for a page until I tell it to, so I went to this page and thought "oh this is taking a long time to load, and man, how did my screen get so dirty?" when actually it had finished loading and it just has a background that looks like that. Then I enabled JavaScript and waited a lot longer and I don't really get what happened, my entire PC was running slow and I couldn't find anything to click on. Is that actually for a restaurant? I'd certainly give up and eat somewhere else.
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Apr 28, 2016 01:14
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Buttcoin purse posted:Then I enabled JavaScript and waited a lot longer and I don't really get what happened, my entire PC was running slow and I couldn't find anything to click on. Is that actually for a restaurant? I'd certainly give up and eat somewhere else. I visited the site out of morbid curiosity, and it ran more or less okay for me, given that it is a steaming pile of overdesigned poo poo. I checked the FAQ, and surprisingly "Why is your website a literal piece of poo poo?" was not amongst them.
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Apr 28, 2016 01:46
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Computer viking posted:I used a webpage two days ago that was 100% flash. A restaurant, of course. A local BBQ place did this and had that awful Kid Rock, "All Summer Long" song playing http://www.camp31.com/ Data Graham posted:The thing about restaurants is that they all, every single one, have the exact same goal. The exact same very narrow set of use cases. Customers know what they want from a restaurant website, and the smart ones build around that expectation. Show a menu, show the location/hours, present an online ordering option if applicable, done. Customers going to a restaurant website don't have time to waste. They're hungry and they have lots of choices. Give them what they want as efficiently and as predictably as possible. This is like a http://clientsfromhell.net/ post come to life.
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Apr 28, 2016 03:21
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Speaking of all Flash websites... there used to be a teaser site for Monolith's Tron 2.0 game before it came out. The website would detect your browser and show the appropriate "not found" screen, and after a few seconds, something to click on would show up. Clicking on that would make the whole error page "open up" like you were going into the web or something. It was a really awesome effect, and I haven't been able to find it since. Anyway that's my story.
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Apr 28, 2016 04:32
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Bonzo posted:A local BBQ place did this and had that awful Kid Rock, "All Summer Long" song playing http://www.camp31.com/ i'm sending Warner Bros a strongly worded letter urging them to take this website off the internet due to their use of such a horrible awful song
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Apr 28, 2016 08:14
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Mother. loving. Soldat. I started playing when it was first released in 2002, loving 14 years ago. I was 16 years old. I don't even know how many hundreds of hours I spent in this game. I used to be pretty drat good, which tends to happen when you waste your teenage youth on a thing. My weapon of choice was the ruger; two-hit kill at almost any range most of the time.  MOD music has already been mentioned but I have to bring it up again. Back when I was on 28.8k dialup, discovering MOD was a revelation. I think I actually found it by playing Unreal Tournament and Age of Wonders. File sizes ranged from 50kb to a megabyte or more, so they were relatively easy to download, unlike MP3s. I remember the average size being around 200kb or so, which took around a minute to download. It also started me down the path of electronic music appreciation. There's an excellent website where you can download just about any MOD that has been made anywhere ever. You can also download torrents containing their entire archive, more than 40 GB now. They even have a web player so you can listen to MODs in the browser! http://modarchive.org/ Edit: No discussion of MOD music is complete without this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyNi5kyIlvg Anony Mouse has a new favorite as of 08:30 on Apr 28, 2016 |
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Apr 28, 2016 08:24
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Anony Mouse posted:Edit: No discussion of MOD music is complete without this classic: this loving song singlehandedly got me into MODs and the demoscene. i remember downloading fucktons of keygens back when I was young, stupid, and ran a copy of WinXP SP1 that i literally never updated because the updates took forever and i wanted to use my PC RIGHT NOW DAMNIT. and then of course I got shitloads of viruses eventually and wondered how that could have possibly happened  anyway, I remember this being in a keygen for some game and I went to PutFile (remember them? or ZippyVideos? non-YouTube video hosts are another computer relic tbh) and looked up the dude's name and found tons of awesome music and demos
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Apr 28, 2016 08:33
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Holy poo poo I totally forgot about Soldat. I loved that crap.
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Apr 28, 2016 08:41
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Anony Mouse posted:Mother. loving. Soldat. Uhh I think you mean Mother. loving. Liero.  (pretty similar but for DOS)
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Apr 28, 2016 08:44
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Are there any modern sprite-based 3D shooters?
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Apr 28, 2016 09:43
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8 track betamax posted:Are there any modern sprite-based 3D shooters? Well, there's OpenLieroX. 
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Apr 28, 2016 10:05
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You know who has terrible websites? Hotels. Specifically, their booking systems. I've stayed at midrange hotels, I've stayed at high end hotels. All of them have god-loving-awful booking systems. The last I stayed at used some kind of third party to book reservations, and holy poo poo, it was a broken awful mess. As a web application developer, poo poo drives me nuts. I guess as long as it's barely functional, it will keep people coming in the door, and therefore it's not worth replacing, though. Regular Nintendo posted:
loving this, the worst thing
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Apr 28, 2016 10:37
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Not respecting a request for the desktop site is especially bad with 1080p tablets and phones becoming more affordable. I know what I'm about, son.
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Apr 28, 2016 10:45
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nm.
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Apr 28, 2016 12:33
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Let us not forget the early days of web for mobile. Before Apple and Android everyone either browsed on a Blackberry or a PDA. Before responsive web design everything was either loaded in full and stuffed into the screen only to be partially obscured by the pop-up keyboard or rendered in an utterly bare bones manner to the point it made early web design look sophisticated. Granted it made you a hit at trivia nights when the idea of getting internet on your mobile was a fanciful dream. However it was not fast at all so you'd find the answer three questions later.
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Apr 28, 2016 12:49
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I visited the site out of morbid curiosity, and it ran more or less okay for me, given that it is a steaming pile of overdesigned poo poo. I checked the FAQ, and surprisingly "Why is your website a literal piece of poo poo?" was not amongst them. Anony Mouse posted:There's an excellent website where you can download just about any MOD that has been made anywhere ever. You can also download torrents containing their entire archive, more than 40 GB now. They even have a web player so you can listen to MODs in the browser! http://modarchive.org/ Turdsdown Tom posted:anyway, I remember this being in a keygen for some game and I went to PutFile (remember them? or ZippyVideos? non-YouTube video hosts are another computer relic tbh) and looked up the dude's name and found tons of awesome music and demos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPdQ24pb3Fw I could talk about the Demoscene every day for the rest of my life, but I swear any efforts made to create a thread somewhere have always failed over the years.
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Apr 28, 2016 13:35
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Turdsdown Tom posted:i remember downloading fucktons of keygens . . .and then of course I got shitloads of viruses eventually and wondered how that could have possibly happened I remember searching for/downloading no-CD cracks and trainers for various games and being in a cold sweat the entire time like I was defusing a bomb.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:09
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Mak0rz posted:I remember searching for/downloading no-CD cracks and trainers for various games and being in a cold sweat the entire time like I was defusing a bomb.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:16
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I remember buying games.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:22
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Dr. Quarex posted:
Do it now... this is the time and this is the place. GBS is ready and willing.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:27
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Pos my neg demo hole.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:31
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Mak0rz posted:I remember searching for/downloading no-CD cracks and trainers for various games and being in a cold sweat the entire time like I was defusing a bomb. I have at least once fired up a virtualbox VM solely to run a keygen.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:48
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Computer viking posted:I have at least once fired up a virtualbox VM solely to run a keygen. Hopefully the VM was able to play the sweet rear end techo midi embedded in it.
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Apr 28, 2016 15:22
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Anony Mouse posted:Mother. loving. Soldat. Did you know that it got an HD update in February? http://www.soldat.pl Buttcoin purse posted:Uhh I think you mean Mother. loving. Liero. Probably the first PC game I was able to do multiplayer with, as it had a two-player mode where each player got to use one side of the keyboard. Stick Insect has a new favorite as of 19:41 on Apr 28, 2016 |
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Apr 28, 2016 19:39
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Stick Insect posted:Did you know that it got an HD update in February? http://www.soldat.pl Soldat fans probably already know this, but MM and some others went on to make a game called King Arthur's Gold and it's really, really good. Sort of like an insane cross between Terraria and Soldat. 
Anony Mouse has a new favorite as of 20:21 on Apr 28, 2016 |
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Apr 28, 2016 20:16
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Stick Insect posted:Probably the first PC game I was able to do multiplayer with, as it had a two-player mode where each player got to use one side of the keyboard. There was this whole genre of obscure Finnish multiplayer DOS games back in the mid-1990s. Most of them were 'cave shooters' like AUTS or Wings or V-Wing, in which you flew a V shape ina a cave and tried to murder your friend doing the same thing. It looked like this:  Actually, you can try out AUTS online right now: http://playdosgamesonline.com/auts-the-ultimate-stress-relief-game.html There were also racers like Slick'n'Slide and then there was Mine Bombers. Oh, sweet Mine Bombers. With the best MOD title music in any crappy shareware game ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCnUH5gqBb8 I wasted my entire childhood with a couple of friends on these, back then multiplayer meant being cramped over the same keyboard. poo poo got nasty when at the same time keyboard manufacturers started to cheap out on parts and you could only only press like three keys at the time, leading to frantic yelling and shoving. Good times 
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Apr 28, 2016 20:20
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I don't suppose anyone knows a Windows tracker that can play the music from Cryo's first Dune game? There's a dos one, RDosplay I think, that can do it but I haven't found anything else.
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Apr 28, 2016 21:25
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Have you tried xmplay?
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Apr 28, 2016 23:27
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Naxuz posted:There was this whole genre of obscure Finnish multiplayer DOS games back in the mid-1990s. Most of them were 'cave shooters' like AUTS or Wings or V-Wing, in which you flew a V shape ina a cave and tried to murder your friend doing the same thing. It looked like this: Reminds me of xpilot, which I played a lot on my Linux 486. I also had an old version of Crossfire, a rather fun RPG that lost most of its charm in later versions.
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Apr 29, 2016 00:01
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Casimir Radon posted:I don't suppose anyone knows a Windows tracker that can play the music from Cryo's first Dune game? There's a dos one, RDosplay I think, that can do it but I haven't found anything else. you can find the actual album in MP3 (possibly FLAC too) format online. Search for Dune Spice Opera Exxos
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Apr 29, 2016 02:27
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