Placid Marmot posted:

I guess this counts as OSHA since I was "occupied" and "working" with tools when it happened.
I was making a wooden necklace for my Mom's birthday, since I'm a good boy, and had got to polishing the surfaces with 500 grit sandpaper. The pendant is only about an inch long and quite thin, so I was holding it with the tips of my fingers to press it onto the sandpaper, and after a while I felt a stinging on one of my fingers.

NMS for the weak of mind:



You can see that the middle finger nearly got the same treatment, and my thumb is like that too.
I don't know what the safety lesson here is.

Final product for those who care:
http://imgur.com/cohNWWu

baquerd posted:

You made a wooden vagina, complete with prominent clitoris, for you mom?

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

my favorite dream:
Superman was flying through mountains in order to make tunnels for the railroad. After a time he became bored and careless and was flying faster and faster until he hit his head on a chunk of kryptonite that was lying undetected in the middle of the rock. When he awoke, it was years later and the world that greeted him as he emerged from the tunnel was a lifeless rock, ravaged by nuclear war because he wasn't there to stop it. So, the dream ended with superman wandering through ruined towns looking for anything, anyone and finding nothing. Also, the bump made him retarded.

Slate Action posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/726800215718645760

Joementum posted:

I wonder: is "like a little boy" better or worse than "like a dog"?

Oiled and Ready posted:

It hastert be the former, I think

DLAO posted:

[...]

I just want to know if anyone who has ever gotten a divorce has any advice.

[...]

JanIrvam posted:

Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.

You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.

If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.

For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.

Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.

Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.

Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.

Mousepractice posted:

Divorce

JanIrvam posted:

Wow.

A question is asked. There are nine replies. There was mine, which was what it was. Call it angry, strange, stupid, whatever you want. What shocks me is that the other 8 replies were.............absolutely loving nothing. A four word reply. A one sentence reply mentioning autism, obviously not directed at the OP, but at me. A one word reply, "wow." A picture with the word, "OK" on it. Two emotes. A picture of Donald Trump.

Jesus what has happened to humanity? Is English no longer welcome on a written forum? Are thoughts unwelcome? A monkey could have generated better replies. SA is worse than the Reddit. Far worse. Seriously, the OP asks a question. Might as well had a bark, a howl, a whimper, a yip, and a growl for responses.

I wasted $10.

Christo posted:

Fuzzy Mammal posted:

look, my monitor's not small. believe me, it's plenty large. and my resolution, well, let's just say there's no problems. the other guy's monitor, let me say it might be ok, but my friends tell me, a lot of people tell me, it might be 1366x768.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

look, my dick's not small. believe me, it's plenty large. and my girth, well, let's just say it's not free late-night. the other guy's dick, let me say it might be ok, but my friends tell me, a lot of people tell me, it might have the hiv.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

The Goonhammer
APRIL 19, 2016 JAN IRVAM LEAVE A COMMENT

I’ve just logged in from the marathon entosis operation last night, and checking DOTLAN I see that Deklein is in flames. I am particularly delighted to see that the RFY-Q8 constellation (the Testagram) is under Darkness. control, which was Horde’s primary mission. Our boys done well. It will be a night to remember. Also, as I logged in I see a large amount of red in O1Y as per usual. I haven’t yet taken time to decide what I will do in game this afternoon or what exactly is going on in our space, but just seeing all the red has brought me to where I’d like to comment on the Goons’ campaign against Horde.

First, to all the Goons out there, I just wanted to let you know that this campaign is yet another bad idea from your inept Space Hitler. Let’s take a look at this from a couple of angles. First, it’s a part of your alliance’s plan to deny fun to your enemies. However, it’s not fun for you either. Second, let’s look at the psychological impact. A long time ago a Bombers Bar FC made a comment to me about that group’s constant forays into Provibloc. He said, “it’s like kicking babies in the teeth – when you win, you don’t feel like you accomplished anything worthwhile, and on the rare occasion when you lose, it just makes you feel pathetic.” All this campaign is doing is showing you that your alliance can beat Horde. And when you don’t beat Horde, it shows how pathetic you are. Third, let’s look at op success and failure. Let’s say it works and Horde drops from being a 7,000 pilot alliance to a 5,000 pilot alliance. What exactly have you won? You still have a huge alliance that isn’t really central to MBC operations beyond being a gaggle of noobs hanging out as a buffer and providing swarms of entosis Slashers when needed. Let’s say though that it doesn’t work, and our numbers don’t decrease. You are wasting time fighting Horde while TEST and NC. and PL and Darkness. etc. ruin you.

Don’t believe the hype, Goonswarm. You’ve been taught that harvesting tears is the zenith of the game. You’ll get shown streams of this or that noob quitting Eve and getting frustrated, but you won’t be shown the thousands more who you are egging on to be your next generation of enemies. You’d best be served by fighting those who always have and always will hate you rather than make enemies out of the majority of new players joining the game who are fighting against you out of a sportsman’s competition rather than the seething hatred that you have earned for yourself from the likes of TEST and others.

Don’t look at a video of one noob crying and giggle to yourself that you are winning. You are wasting your time and effort pursuing a goal that will not accomplish anything for you strategically. Horde will remain. Horde will be large. 5,000, 7,000, or 10,000 doesn’t really matter. Horde is doing its job planting itself in Fade and will continue to do so, no matter if we shrink a bit, stay the same size, or grow. Mittens talks about how new players don’t understand hell war, but I will have you know that new players are going to be more willing to find out what it’s like than older players looking for the most efficient way to make ISK AFK. When you look at what you are doing, look at real numbers.



So how’s camping O1Y working out for you? You’ve long loved Mittens because he is such a scoundrel and conman. Only now, you are his mark. You are the ones being conned, spending your days in O1Y while your space is taken away. I will end this paragraph with the same sentence I started the previous one with. Don’t believe the hype, Goonswarm.

I’ll end this post with some notes to my fellow hordelings. Mittens is trying to hang on as long as he can by trumping up rhetoric concerning a successful campaign against an Eve newbie group. The community’s reaction has been to comment that Goons are trying to prove they can beat Horde, which is nothing impressive. The Goons are also trying to preach to Horde that we are being abused by our seniors and being used as meat shields. Well, there is no abuse about it. We are the meat shields. That is our baseline mission. It is a mission to be proud of.

When I was in the Army, the most glorified image to be found was not the highly trained special ops soldier or the super genius intelligence collector, but the infantryman of the line. We all knew that the territory is just not under control unless there are boots on the ground, and that the infantryman was the back that bears the load. That’s what you are. In addition to being the buffer, to being the distraction, we do get a great number of opportunities to accomplish a lot more than anyone ever expected we would. There is no shame in being the rock bottom in the war machine, but rather it is the position of greatest honor. Take comfort in that.

After saying that, though, I do realize that Eve is a game of great proportions. There is a learning curve, real consequential loss, and there are ruthless enemies. Some of you may have come into Horde without clear expectations and are finding that the gameplay is not what you’d like. Now I think most of you are actually impressed with the scope of this game and this war and are excited to pay the price of victory. But for those who aren’t, don’t quit Eve. There are other places to go and things to do.

However, if you do go somewhere else, I encourage you not to run to highsec and get involved with any random corp that you run across. Some are good, but most are bad. I also encourage you not to take shelter in just any given alliance out there. Frustrations will grow high. Despite being told by all these guys that you don’t need skill points, you will be surrounded by people who have them, and you’ll constantly be tempted to do things the same way they do. You won’t be able to. It will be discouraging.

Frankly, the best place for a newbie in Eve is in a newbie group. I’d recommend the Brave Collective as an option. I think I can say this without irking Horde leadership because from what I have seen, the overwhelming majority of our players are excited by the challenges we are facing. But for that rare person who is thinking of quitting Eve or joining a veteran alliance, Brave is a better option. Horde has inherited the lighter side of our personality from them. We’ve taken Brave memes like “stay classy” and “fun per hour” and condensed them into “don’t be a dick.” They don’t exactly have the strong meritocracy and content creator leader idea that we’ve inherited from our PL buddies, and they aren’t generally as well run as we are, being more bureaucratic. However, when it comes to training noobs they have it pretty well down pat, and they do go out and have a lot of fun. A lot of our leaders and members started out in Brave, and while I think we’d all say that we have put together the best newbie group in the game, Brave is a good option for those who can’t figure out how to make it work in Horde.

Obviously, DON’T join KarmaFleet. We just took over their main staging. They are in retreat with the rest of the Imperium and are lead by the same ridiculous leadership that took the bait and are punching at Horde while their empire crumbles. They are basically a lowsec corp at this point. Great things are not in their future.

But anyway, I think I’ve spent a lot of time on those to those who don’t have the stomach for life in Horde, when such types are exceedingly rare. I’d meant for this post to be a message to Goons and to the average Horde member who is pumped up to fight but may be confused by propaganda about our friends and leaders abusing us and all. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are the bait and the buffer, a very important role that everyone respects, and quite obviously we’ve done A LOT more than just being the bait and buffer. So I’ll just end with one more sentence, again to the Goons. Grow up and get a war plan that works, such as getting new leadership.

RiotGearEpsilon posted:

So here's another insane question: is there any medical treatment for eye floaters that are persistent enough and severe enough to actually impair vision?

Roki B posted:

Name them.

Bum the Sad posted:

I named mine Wiggly Jim, Bobbin' Pete, and Francis.

Chichevache posted:

This is a project for a partially crippled friend. I'd rather not make him wait another 6 months. Thanks for the tip.

builds character posted:

Not like he's going anywhere.

Terrorist Fistbump posted:

8-year-old me: "Why did he jump?"
Grandpa: "He put his faith in the Force to help him run away."

A decade later...

18-year-old me: "It really looks like he's trying to kill himself as a screw-you to Vader."
Grandpa: "He is strong in the Force and can see that things will work out fine if he takes the leap of faith." *begins talking at length about what the Force means to him*

Rurea posted:

8-year-old me: "Why did he jump?"
Grandpa: "SHUT UP AND TURN THIS CRAP OFF"

A decade later...

18-year-old me: "It really looks like he's trying to kill himself as a screw-you to Vader."
Grandpa: *is dead*

Leal posted:

Why is there no option to rape the pope?

The MSJ posted:

frankenfreak posted:

Funny how I recognized that this was some Crusader Kings thing before even clicking on the link to the post.

Rayn_of_TW posted:

http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/sho...40#post18565440

if you like SJWs, groupthink, and being banned for nothing SA is for you.

http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/inseminate with prejudice

Mousepractice posted:

Kavak posted:

There's basically no other place you'd find that sequence of words.

u_kill_my_friends posted:

isaac you were 20/21 you pressured a 15 or 16 year old girl into webcam cyber sex, thats production of child pornography straight up worse than any bullshit psychosis based welfare queen drama ive been involved in

mdm this girl was black out drunk and on her period and according to her you forced yourself on her

she would never press charges as shes the whole country away, she loves tribes, hates drama, and you're both lucky for that, but what both of you did is worse poo poo than anything i ever was even accused of (even with the fantastical knife-wielding schizo maniac poo poo added in)

and yet here we are on SA where the bandwagon circle jerk uncritical group of retards like shay and groove rules and truth and freedom and lie detector tests don't matter for poo poo

when it comes to a girl with 3 brothers crying rape it doesnt matter either because she should have known better

best to throw your innocent friend under the bus and mum is the word on any gossip poo poo being said about him because hey some complete juggalo liar with a midget brother named JESSICA DUPER couldnt be a straight up liar

its all about that group acceptance and cliquing up cuz the winters get cold in canada and solitude is too much 4 the asperger demographic of deadmouse/triticum guzzler life long bitch made fags to bear :-(((((

u_kill_my_friends posted:

i just masturbate daily hoping u r whiskey_bent and vargas is as obsessively sperg as he sounds and you wisk me away on a motorbike after i break a few noses permanently

in the case of dgsw she cut her kike nose off to spite her face so if that gets broken she probably will just not have a nose anymore as all the plastic forming it has already degenerated to critical levels and requires MORE PLASTIC SURGERY

u_kill_my_friends posted:

one time a girl hit on me on okc, begged me to choke and slap her (because her ex who she recently broke up with did and she loved it) and even though i wasn't comfortable with it after she had sent me copious nudes and we had phone sex a few times i agreed to lightly slap her face but not choking (cuz that can kill ppl)

i showed up at her place on the scheduled night and time, she let me in, she refused to talk about the fantasy further but acknowledged our safe word.

everything went off without a hitch. she came 3 or 4 times, had a bad flash back drug trip (cuz someone had apparently dosed her with meth long before we met and she had long lasting issues from this) which i cradled her through and then gave her space to sleep off

in the morning i went down on her, she started moaning, and i decided to put it in because i hadnt cum yet. i premature ejaculated in 15 seconds because she was so tight and horny

her neighbours bed could be heard creaking through the wall

we kissed goodbye and shouted BYE to each other and i went home, on the way home we continued texting. i bragged to my friends about the awesome girl i met and how kinky she was

the day after i had 10 missed calls from the police and taxi'd to the station thinking my friend hamao or anime is blood was in jail and i had to bail them out. i was promptly arrested for half a dozen charges including rape. i waved my lawyere rights after being locked in a heat up room the size of a closet- these arent legal in america but are in the place i live (cuz who wants to rich bitch out when theyre innocent) and police interviewed

because i admit to slapping her (which left not red mark or injury) i had to take a plea bargain because safe words and kinky sex is not legal in the place i live in. all the rape charges were dropped by the judge and the prosecutor remarked that my accuser was mentally ill before her experience with me and remained mentally ill after. this is in the public court records

my whole life and families life was ruined from the conviction, i lost 40k in savings and my ability to work i lost my apartment

apparently she had got fired from her job that morning and cried rape to her boss about it. her friend ended up callingit inbecause she was too cowardly to do it herself

5 years later and i was a month away from getting a full pardon on good behaviour but then some other slut that actually has an aspd diagnosis and is hiding it from this forum decided to get a group of asperger trolls to play a game with the legal system a second time and here i am a full fledged convict permanently

i suppose ppl want the mass murder or me dead scenario in this situation but i think even lowtax and rayn find that sick

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

These are just his first three posts in the thread.

Roro posted:

What the gently caress is even going on there? Dude just seems to be vomiting words.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Apparently the poster is Dare and he is a Canadian Jon Pop.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Apparently the poster is Dare and he is a Canadian Jon Pop.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Plus Jon Pop has that catchy Hanson song about him.

many johnnys posted:

He needs to institutionalize himself

FactsAreUseless posted:

Plus Jon Pop has that catchy Hanson song about him.

Avshalom posted:

now that all the americans have gone to bed, here is a guide to the current presidential candidates for non-americans so when they wake up tomorrow we can talk to them on their level and they'll think we're super worldly



bernie
party: the democracy party
slogan: "we can do it if we are good and nobody stops us"
goal: a carefully regulated farm for every man, woman and child in america
pros: benevolent alzheimers patient being abused and manipulated by his unscrupulous relatives
cons: ate a black man in the early 70s



hilLIAR
party: the liberal party
slogan: "dump the trump"
goal: the woman card to replace all international currency by 2030
pros: believes in healthy and effective public transport with specialist medical services available in every carriage
cons: builds embassies in wartorn countries and then blows them up herself with homemade dynamite, killing thousands



obama
party: america
slogan: "haha gently caress this"
goal: travel to the moon
pros: gently caress you all
cons: he's outta here



ted cruz
party: manytoothed kings of the abyss
slogan: children shy from my touch
goal: brutalise his family on national television
pros: was voted out by the viewers and sacrificed in a special double-length episode
cons: now nobody knows where he is. he could be in your house



jeb!
party: the republican party
slogan: "hi everybody"
goal: to get on television
pros: loves his mum more than his dad
cons: he's not sure why he's here



donald trump
party: the evil party
slogan: "turn america into superamerica and we'll all be superamericans"
goal: build a wall to keep mexico safe from florida
pros: perished in the collapse of the twin towers on the 11th of september, 2001
cons: personally profits from the black market trade in muslim eggs

syscall girl posted:

Wowie Zowie! Eugenics and justification of IQ tests in one post! In a thread about movies no less!


I had the highest IQ score evar when I was a grade schooler and the highest SAT my high school guidance teacher had seen. Didn't even study for the loving thing as I had zero ambition. When he asked where I was applying my response was "huh?"

I failed out of HS, slid into community college and slithered through a series of gullible women and poo poo jobs.


But these statistics matter, damnit! Ignore your BMI at your peril, citizen!

Aphrodite posted:

Yeah but how big's your dick?

syscall girl posted:

Undetectable by modern science but I pray that one day its existence will be proven.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Jenocide posted:

I think all this talk of Mexican food has summoned the mariachis, I keep seeing them walk past my shop.

Edit: it's cinco de mayo and I'm dumb

MiracleWhale posted:

genderqueer is to millennials in 2016 what jnco jeans and marilyn manson t-shirts were to the people of my time

Powered Descent posted:

Looks like SpaceX forgot to remove a placeholder element from this chart before showing it on the live stream during last night's launch...

Robot Lincoln posted:

Mixing up metric and a meaningless unit of measurement for children has been a long-standing tradition in space travel. NASA did the same thing with the Mars Climate Orbiter and it worked out just fine.