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PS. The cow died on the way back to his home planet edit: a shameful snyep
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May 2, 2016 13:29
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talk about moovin' on up
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May 2, 2016 15:08
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Jerry Cotton posted:It really needs dead man's switches on both foot rests and handle bars and also rotors that cut off immediately when one of those switches is disengaged. But like he said, they had to cut unnecessary weight. If they added safety features, he wouldn't be able to wear his tie as he bounced onto the rotors.
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May 2, 2016 18:44
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 Probably not OSHA since it isn't at work, but I found this in my apartment bathroom last night. Left an emergency maintenance message for my landlord as soon as I found it, and cut off the power at the breakers. Wanted to warn my neighbors but didn't want to get shot as I live in a poor area and it was 2 am. Tried calling the office today(they never answer, or even are there unless its rent paying day), went up there, door was locked but I was holding the rent check in my hand so the lady magically appeared out of nowhere to let me in. She said their voicemail wasn't working and only acted like I was a burden when I explained the ongoing fire hazard. So far they haven't done poo poo to fix anything today and I'm staying at a friends.
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May 2, 2016 23:48
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That is by far the most anatomically correct boob lamp I’ve ever seen.
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May 2, 2016 23:55
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:
I'd never have imagined that ceiling boobs could lactate.
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May 2, 2016 23:55
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I briefly considered suckling it but I've already endured my threshold of electric shocks for the year.
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May 2, 2016 23:57
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:I briefly considered suckling it but I've already endured my threshold of electric shocks for the year. you'll be fine as long as youre jumping and not touching the ground or is it the other way around
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May 2, 2016 23:59
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:I briefly considered suckling it but I've already endured my threshold of electric shocks for the year. Next time if there's some nasty screw-up that's not fixed in a reasonable period of time, you may be able to hold your rent in escrow with your local court until they fix the problem, especially if it's a serious safety issue you've documented. Check your state/municipality's applicable laws on this. (I would only do that as a last resort as it's a very provocative move. I'd only pull that if you're not planning on staying there in the long run.)
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May 3, 2016 00:29
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I thought about it, but I just wound up paying the rent. I'd assumed since it was a fire hazard they'd get on top of it, but last time I called the office for an update she said they were dealing with a broken A/C right now, so apparently it's not that high on their priority list right now.
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May 3, 2016 00:34
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:I thought about it, but I just wound up paying the rent. I'd assumed since it was a fire hazard they'd get on top of it, but last time I called the office for an update she said they were dealing with a broken A/C right now, so apparently it's not that high on their priority list right now. Hmm sounds like a good reason to do what that other poster said!
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May 3, 2016 00:35
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KoRMaK posted:Hmm sounds like a good reason to do what that other poster said! it's true, but like I said I already gave them the rent. It was a money order so I can't cancel it. And I'm hoping even worse case, it's definitely fixed by next month.
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May 3, 2016 00:38
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:
http://i.imgur.com/vqRorVp.gifv treasured8elief fucked around with this message at 00:52 on May 3, 2016 |
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May 3, 2016 00:44
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:it's true, but like I said I already gave them the rent. It was a money order so I can't cancel it. And I'm hoping even worse case, it's definitely fixed by next month.
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May 3, 2016 00:46
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May 3, 2016 01:11
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:it's true, but like I said I already gave them the rent. It was a money order so I can't cancel it. And I'm hoping even worse case, it's definitely fixed by next month. It's a bitch attitude like that that's going to keep that titty weeping all month.
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May 3, 2016 01:45
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Three-Phase posted:Next time if there's some nasty screw-up that's not fixed in a reasonable period of time, you may be able to hold your rent in escrow with your local court until they fix the problem, especially if it's a serious safety issue you've documented. Check your state/municipality's applicable laws on this. (I would only do that as a last resort as it's a very provocative move. I'd only pull that if you're not planning on staying there in the long run.) That varies a lot by jurisdiction. In my state you have to have 2 years residence, 90 days non compliance and there's an annual limit that isn't a month's rent for anything but the shadiest country hovel.
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May 3, 2016 01:48
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Your lamp may have a hormonal issue. I’m referring you to an endocrinologist.
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May 3, 2016 02:09
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:it's true, but like I said I already gave them the rent. It was a money order so I can't cancel it. And I'm hoping even worse case, it's definitely fixed by next month. Protip: "definitely fixed by next month" isn't your worst case; it's your best case. Your worst case is that it's not fixed, and on top of that, something catches fire. You can goon in a well about it, or you can start making phone calls and consulting your city office.
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May 3, 2016 02:31
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:
Depending on the terms of your lease and local ordinance you may be able to break the contract. I would check the lease and quote any provision allowing you to break the lease if they don't maintain livable conditions.
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May 3, 2016 02:36
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And you thought your harbor freight death wheel was   
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May 3, 2016 02:54
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H110Hawk posted:And you thought your harbor freight death wheel was Actual radial arm saws with guards and clamps, and proper handles are bad enough, that thing is just waiting for blood!
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May 3, 2016 02:59
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Oh my god, what the Christ, I mean.. it's not even saf... why would you do... it hurts Like you can get the good ole standard craftsman RAS for about $200 on craigslist and keep all your body parts. I guess to some body parts are worth less than that.
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May 3, 2016 03:00
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H110Hawk posted:And you thought your harbor freight death wheel was I had a BRAND NEW HF mitre saw break the lock pin and spring, and come on when I plugged it in. The fucker did a full backflip and came right for my throat. I'll gladly take my chances with that thing.
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May 3, 2016 03:11
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fyodor posted:Growing up my mom was an x-ray tech and this was pretty standard stuff. She'd frequently find herself in the position of calming down an incredibly ashamed grown man saying "oh this happens all the time it's no big deal."
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May 3, 2016 04:14
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Crazy Ted posted:I'm pretty sure that every year near Christmas Gawker posts a "What did we get stuck up our asses this year?" compilation and as much as I hate Gawker it's pro-click stuff. Penis HALF A PENCIL PENCIL ERASER PEN CAP PEN MARBLE COAT HANGER “PUT A PLASTIC STRAW IN HIS PENIS WHILE HE WAS HIGH ON CRYSTAL METH” PLASTIC TUBING SCREWDRIVER MAGNETS Vagina MAKEUP BRUSH FOLDED UP PAPER CUP AND STICKERS CELL PHONE HUSBAND’S PENIS RING PERFUME BOTTLE TWO TAMPONS TOY PLASTIC SPOON MAKEUP SPONGE GOLF BALL—“WANTED TO DO PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES” A JINGLE BELL PIECE OF PLASTIC REINDEER WET WASHCLOTH EARRINGS VIAL OF FENTANYL TOY TEAPOT SNORKEL Rectum “THINKS HE HAS TOOTHBRUSH CASE IN RECTUM, DOESN’T KNOW HOW B/C HE WAS DRUNK” TOY BABY BOTTLE GLASS BOTTLE “THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS AFTER HIM SO HE PUT PLASTIC BAG/PILL BOTTLES UP RECTUM” “CRAYONS AND COINS” DICE HANDLE OF TOILET PLUNGER TOILET BRUSH “7 YEAR OLD MALE WATCHING A VIDEO INVOLVING ALIENS RECTAL PROBING PEOPLE AT HOME, DECIDED TO TRY IT, PUT PLASTIC TOY SCREW IN RECTUM” SALT SHAKER SMALL TOY LARGE TOY PLASTIC “SQUINKY” TOY “CONSTIPATION—DILDO STUCK IN RECTUM” SCREWDRIVER WATER GUN BATHTUB DRAIN PLUG BOBBY PIN LARGE ELASTIC STRING “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM” MARKER IN A GLOVE “HAS 2 GOLF BALLS UP RECTUM AND WANTS TO HAVE REMOVED” FLASHLIGHT AEROSOL CAN SHAMPOO BOTTLE CAN OF HAIR MOUSSE HOMEMADE DILDO TOY SHARK “WAS AT A ‘FISTING PARTY’ AND HAS A SPIKEY RUBBER BALL THAT LIGHTS UP STUCK IN RECTUM.” EGG
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May 3, 2016 04:46
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Shoving an egg up your rear end and getting it back out without breaking it should be an olympic sport
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May 3, 2016 05:00
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EugeneJ posted:Shoving an egg up your rear end and getting it back out without breaking it should be an olympic sport
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May 3, 2016 05:09
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EugeneJ posted:Shoving an egg up your rear end and getting it back out without breaking it should be an olympic sport No it shouldn't.
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May 3, 2016 05:17
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EugeneJ posted:Shoving an egg up your rear end and getting it back out without breaking it should be an olympic sport Hard boiled or raw? This is an important piece of information.
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May 3, 2016 05:18
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oohhboy posted:Hard boiled or raw? This is an important piece of information. raw
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May 3, 2016 05:19
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EugeneJ posted:raw Okay but shell or no shell.
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May 3, 2016 05:33
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SLOSifl posted:Okay but shell or no shell.
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May 3, 2016 05:34
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Crazy Ted posted:What kind of egg? Farm egg? Ostrich egg? Elephant Bird
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May 3, 2016 06:33
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Glossing back over that list, I've very intrigued by: “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”
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May 3, 2016 06:53
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http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/national/toilets+light+federal+workers+will+issued+with+headlamps/11891762/story.htmlquote:The arrangements will affect 15 military and civilian staff working their regular shifts at a communications centre at National Defence headquarters over the May long weekend. The building will be without electricity as part of regular maintenance.
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May 3, 2016 09:28
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The Flash in training for new justice league movie.
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May 3, 2016 10:19
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C.M. Kruger posted:http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/national/toilets+light+federal+workers+will+issued+with+headlamps/11891762/story.html quote:“Without electricity, the fire alarms and suppression system will not work but it is also nearly impossible there will be an electrical fire,” a Canadian Forces officer told staff in an email. Thank goodness electrical fires are the only kind of fire!
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May 3, 2016 10:29
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Buildings pretty much never caught on fire prior to the late nineteenth century.
Platystemon fucked around with this message at 11:46 on May 3, 2016 |
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May 3, 2016 10:45
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H110Hawk posted:And you thought your harbor freight death wheel was Niiiiice. 
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May 3, 2016 11:40
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